AUTHOR'S NOTE: I feel like I'm having to do this for every chapter, and for that in itself I apologize, but I wish to issue my sincerest apology ever. I believe this is the longest I've ever gone without updating, but believe me, however hard it was for you, multiply it by ten for me. I got a new computer which did not want to cooperate, and I have only just been able to write this chapter. Thank you so much for those of you who have stuck with me thus far! Your reviews make my day! (Also, sorry if this chapter is formatted weird; I'm still having computer problems!)
Barrier:
What have I done? How could I have let my guard down? What if something terrible has happened? Why did I ever ask her to blood bond with me? If she has been hurt, I will never forgive myself!
I felt myself instinctively reach out to comfort Legolas through our link as he berated himself before I even realized that I was lying in a bed. I quickly opened my eyes and sat up, only to hiss in shock as pain ripped through my side. A healer quickly rushed to my side, pressing me gently back down onto the mattress, fussing all the while.
"Well, my lady, you certainly gave us quite a scare! One of the new servant girls was frightened out of her wits when she heard a crash from your room, and then you would not answer the door, and she opens it to find you lying on the floor! Whatever happened, my dear?"
I found myself unable to answer as I was being simultaneously bombarded by Legolas.
'Mara! Are you well? Oh, please forgive me, it is all my fault for letting my guard down!'
'Legolas, what happened?' I inquired silently. When he did not reply I began dipping into his thoughts, without really realizing what I was doing, and felt fear and horror overwhelm me as the image of one object flooded my mind: a simple golden band. A golden band that, in one moment, I knew would determine the fate of Middle Earth.
I gasped for breath as I seemed to come up gasping for air from Legolas's mind. I knew that Legolas was doing the same in a room in Rivendell, as I could now feel him as easily as if he had been sitting beside me. In one moment I had gained knowledge that it had take Legolas hours to absorb as he had watched the Council of Elrond unfold. Most importantly, and foremost in my mind was that the Ring was found, it must be destroyed. . . and that Legolas was going to assist in doing that. It was when Legolas had seen the Ring that he had let his guard down and his emotions had hit me in such a wave that it overwhelmed me.
'Would you mind letting me know before you do that next time?' Legolas said slowly.
'I did not even realize what I was doing,' I quickly asserted. A million questions about his upcoming quest flooded my mind, but they were answered before I could even 'think-voice' them. I found out that Legolas had blocked our connection as soon as he had found out about the ring so that I would not worry about him; I quickly assured him that he had achieved the opposite effect. I was so caught up in the goings-on of Rivendell I was not drawn back to Mirkwood until the healer was lifting me up and I groaned as pain shot through my side once again.
"What happened to my side?" I asked out loud, startling the healer, as she had evidently been talking to me without any response the entire time I had been conversing with Legolas.
"When you fell in your room, you must have hit the chair, my lady; you have broken a rib." I grimaced as she lifted my shirt and applied some foul-smelling concoction to the skin over my ribs – to help with the pain, she said, though I nearly preferred the pain over the stench – and then carefully wrapped my torso tightly. I tried to get to Legolas afterwards, but all he would say was that I needed to rest. With a scowl on my face and fear in my heart, I dropped into a deep, dreamless sleep.
Three months later I was sitting at dinner with Thranduil and Aldeon, who had returned about two weeks before, picking at my food, avoiding the actual act of eating as I had been doing for quite some time. It was dismally quiet, save for the clink-scrape sounds of the silverware against the plates. Legolas and I had kept our link open throughout the past months, but he was being silent at the moment.
"Have there been any attacks on the border?" Aldeon asked Thranduil in a rather valiant attempt to fill the silence.
"Well, a messenger came in from the northwestern-" Thranduil stopped as I suddenly dropped my fork in my plate. "Mara? Mara, what is wrong?"
"Legolas!" I cried out, both out loud and mentally through the link. I felt, more than saw, Legolas's momentary distraction, then balled my hand into a fist as a great limb swung toward him and knocked him off of his feet.
He was before the Gates of Moria, battling a monstrous beast, and my cry had distracted him enough that it might have cost him his life. My eyes grew wide at this realization as I fell back against my seat. By this time both Aldeon and Thranduil had risen from their chairs and moved to my side.
"Mara? Mara!" they both called, but I could think of nothing except that I had nearly caused Legolas's death. I had sensed his danger and called out instinctively, and my own instinct had had the opposite effect that it should have had. This realization caused me to immediately throw up a barrier, successfully blocking our connection so as to keep my fear for him from distracting him again.
Suddenly I realized that I was being shaken, and I was abruptly brought back to the dinner table. I finally focused on Thranduil's face and when he noticed my eyes clearing he stopped shaking me, but left his hands on my shoulders.
"Mara, are you well?" he asked, his eyes boring into mine.
"Yes," I answered quickly; too quickly, perhaps. He looked at me suspiciously and raised an eyebrow. "Really," I insisted, "I am fine." He looked at me hard for a few moments before letting out a breath and enclosing me in a tight embrace.
"You frightened me, Mara! I sent Aldeon for a healer," he added. "No arguments!" He said firmly when I began to protest. "You may claim to be fine now, but a few moments ago you did not notice Aldeon and I calling your name; it was as if you were in a trance. I would like to have a healer check on you; better safe than sorry." He moved from where he had been kneeling beside me to the chair next to me. "Now, tell me what happened."
I briefly considered making something up, but knew that I could not, and if I did he would likely know I was lying anyway. "Legolas was in danger," I said quickly. Thranduil's eyes widened, but he said nothing. "I felt it through our link, and called out to him instinctively. . . but when I called out I distracted him, and. . ." my voice broke and my eyes filled with tears as I forced myself to continue, "The creature he was battling was able to strike him while he was distracted. I nearly killed him," I finished. I had seen the fear for his son on his face, but by now he had regained control of his emotions and reached for my hands.
"Well, the fact is that he is fine now. There is nothing more you can do but take care of yourself." Just then Aldeon returned with the healer, but even after I was pronounced in perfect health, Thranduil insisted I go to bed early.
As I laid in bed I found that no matter how much I bent my thought upon the task, I could not sleep. My thoughts kept returning to Legolas, who would by now be in the Mines of Moria. . . just the thought of that dark, dreary place sent chills down my spine.
Finally, after lying in the dark for hours, I decided to find out what Legolas was doing and if he had been injured -- I could no longer bear not knowing. I slowly and hesitantly reached out to him, only to have him reach back with such a ferocity I gasped.
'What happened?' he demanded. 'Are you alright?'
'You are asking me that?!' I cried in return. 'I nearly had you killed!'
'Nonsense,' he retorted, 'I was fine, but I have been worrying about you all night! Why did you block me?'
'I did not wish to distract you again,' I admitted. 'Who knows what may happen next time?' As soon as I said that, my mind was made up. 'There will not be a next time.'
'What do you mean?' Legolas asked warily.
'I mean that we need to block each other for the remainder of your journey,' I said, trying to sound more certain than I felt. Of course this was useless since Legolas could feel my emotions just as well as he could hear me, but the fact that I was trying made me feel better at the very least.
'Why in the name of Eru would we do THAT?!' he cried. 'What makes you think I would be willing to do such a thing?'
'The fact that I nearly killed you, Legolas, and if I were to just randomly pop into your head at another critical moment like that, it could cost you your life! I, for one, am not willing take that risk, even if it means not speaking to you for several months. There is no way for me to know what you are doing at all times, even if I am constantly aware of your emotions, and I never know what you may be in the middle of when I call for you.'
Legolas remained silent for a few moments, but I could still follow his thoughts -- he was trying to come up with a good argument against what I just said.
'Why do you have to make so much sense?' he finally complained. 'I really wish I had a good argument against that. I do. I do not want to be cut off from home, from you, for so long. Mara, I do not know how long this may take. It could be months; it could be years.'
As soon as he said 'years' I felt my eyes fill with tears. Never had I been separated from him for more than two months at a time since we were children, and now he was gone, not knowing when he would return. He had always been there for me, through my parents' deaths, through my dangerous dreams, and even though he had hid the fact that he was in love with me the entire time, after he had told me he had never pushed the issue, for which I was immensly grateful.
I forced my raging emotions to subside, with some of Legolas's calming influence to help. 'It is the only way,' I finally said. I felt more than heard his reluctant agreement. 'I wish you the best on your journey, and I will pray constantly for the Valar to watch over you,' I said, emotion filling the words. 'Please be safe, please come back to me,' I added. I felt his emotions rise to match, even overpower mine as tears began streaming down my cheeks.
'I love you,' was the last thing I felt and heard before the thoughts and emotions of his which had been as real to me as my own disappeared.
A/N: I hope it was worth the wait, although I do not think it to be my best writing. I will be out of town this weekend but to make up for lot time will try to have the next chapter posted by mid next week! hands out elf cookies to everyone within reach
Barrier:
What have I done? How could I have let my guard down? What if something terrible has happened? Why did I ever ask her to blood bond with me? If she has been hurt, I will never forgive myself!
I felt myself instinctively reach out to comfort Legolas through our link as he berated himself before I even realized that I was lying in a bed. I quickly opened my eyes and sat up, only to hiss in shock as pain ripped through my side. A healer quickly rushed to my side, pressing me gently back down onto the mattress, fussing all the while.
"Well, my lady, you certainly gave us quite a scare! One of the new servant girls was frightened out of her wits when she heard a crash from your room, and then you would not answer the door, and she opens it to find you lying on the floor! Whatever happened, my dear?"
I found myself unable to answer as I was being simultaneously bombarded by Legolas.
'Mara! Are you well? Oh, please forgive me, it is all my fault for letting my guard down!'
'Legolas, what happened?' I inquired silently. When he did not reply I began dipping into his thoughts, without really realizing what I was doing, and felt fear and horror overwhelm me as the image of one object flooded my mind: a simple golden band. A golden band that, in one moment, I knew would determine the fate of Middle Earth.
I gasped for breath as I seemed to come up gasping for air from Legolas's mind. I knew that Legolas was doing the same in a room in Rivendell, as I could now feel him as easily as if he had been sitting beside me. In one moment I had gained knowledge that it had take Legolas hours to absorb as he had watched the Council of Elrond unfold. Most importantly, and foremost in my mind was that the Ring was found, it must be destroyed. . . and that Legolas was going to assist in doing that. It was when Legolas had seen the Ring that he had let his guard down and his emotions had hit me in such a wave that it overwhelmed me.
'Would you mind letting me know before you do that next time?' Legolas said slowly.
'I did not even realize what I was doing,' I quickly asserted. A million questions about his upcoming quest flooded my mind, but they were answered before I could even 'think-voice' them. I found out that Legolas had blocked our connection as soon as he had found out about the ring so that I would not worry about him; I quickly assured him that he had achieved the opposite effect. I was so caught up in the goings-on of Rivendell I was not drawn back to Mirkwood until the healer was lifting me up and I groaned as pain shot through my side once again.
"What happened to my side?" I asked out loud, startling the healer, as she had evidently been talking to me without any response the entire time I had been conversing with Legolas.
"When you fell in your room, you must have hit the chair, my lady; you have broken a rib." I grimaced as she lifted my shirt and applied some foul-smelling concoction to the skin over my ribs – to help with the pain, she said, though I nearly preferred the pain over the stench – and then carefully wrapped my torso tightly. I tried to get to Legolas afterwards, but all he would say was that I needed to rest. With a scowl on my face and fear in my heart, I dropped into a deep, dreamless sleep.
Three months later I was sitting at dinner with Thranduil and Aldeon, who had returned about two weeks before, picking at my food, avoiding the actual act of eating as I had been doing for quite some time. It was dismally quiet, save for the clink-scrape sounds of the silverware against the plates. Legolas and I had kept our link open throughout the past months, but he was being silent at the moment.
"Have there been any attacks on the border?" Aldeon asked Thranduil in a rather valiant attempt to fill the silence.
"Well, a messenger came in from the northwestern-" Thranduil stopped as I suddenly dropped my fork in my plate. "Mara? Mara, what is wrong?"
"Legolas!" I cried out, both out loud and mentally through the link. I felt, more than saw, Legolas's momentary distraction, then balled my hand into a fist as a great limb swung toward him and knocked him off of his feet.
He was before the Gates of Moria, battling a monstrous beast, and my cry had distracted him enough that it might have cost him his life. My eyes grew wide at this realization as I fell back against my seat. By this time both Aldeon and Thranduil had risen from their chairs and moved to my side.
"Mara? Mara!" they both called, but I could think of nothing except that I had nearly caused Legolas's death. I had sensed his danger and called out instinctively, and my own instinct had had the opposite effect that it should have had. This realization caused me to immediately throw up a barrier, successfully blocking our connection so as to keep my fear for him from distracting him again.
Suddenly I realized that I was being shaken, and I was abruptly brought back to the dinner table. I finally focused on Thranduil's face and when he noticed my eyes clearing he stopped shaking me, but left his hands on my shoulders.
"Mara, are you well?" he asked, his eyes boring into mine.
"Yes," I answered quickly; too quickly, perhaps. He looked at me suspiciously and raised an eyebrow. "Really," I insisted, "I am fine." He looked at me hard for a few moments before letting out a breath and enclosing me in a tight embrace.
"You frightened me, Mara! I sent Aldeon for a healer," he added. "No arguments!" He said firmly when I began to protest. "You may claim to be fine now, but a few moments ago you did not notice Aldeon and I calling your name; it was as if you were in a trance. I would like to have a healer check on you; better safe than sorry." He moved from where he had been kneeling beside me to the chair next to me. "Now, tell me what happened."
I briefly considered making something up, but knew that I could not, and if I did he would likely know I was lying anyway. "Legolas was in danger," I said quickly. Thranduil's eyes widened, but he said nothing. "I felt it through our link, and called out to him instinctively. . . but when I called out I distracted him, and. . ." my voice broke and my eyes filled with tears as I forced myself to continue, "The creature he was battling was able to strike him while he was distracted. I nearly killed him," I finished. I had seen the fear for his son on his face, but by now he had regained control of his emotions and reached for my hands.
"Well, the fact is that he is fine now. There is nothing more you can do but take care of yourself." Just then Aldeon returned with the healer, but even after I was pronounced in perfect health, Thranduil insisted I go to bed early.
As I laid in bed I found that no matter how much I bent my thought upon the task, I could not sleep. My thoughts kept returning to Legolas, who would by now be in the Mines of Moria. . . just the thought of that dark, dreary place sent chills down my spine.
Finally, after lying in the dark for hours, I decided to find out what Legolas was doing and if he had been injured -- I could no longer bear not knowing. I slowly and hesitantly reached out to him, only to have him reach back with such a ferocity I gasped.
'What happened?' he demanded. 'Are you alright?'
'You are asking me that?!' I cried in return. 'I nearly had you killed!'
'Nonsense,' he retorted, 'I was fine, but I have been worrying about you all night! Why did you block me?'
'I did not wish to distract you again,' I admitted. 'Who knows what may happen next time?' As soon as I said that, my mind was made up. 'There will not be a next time.'
'What do you mean?' Legolas asked warily.
'I mean that we need to block each other for the remainder of your journey,' I said, trying to sound more certain than I felt. Of course this was useless since Legolas could feel my emotions just as well as he could hear me, but the fact that I was trying made me feel better at the very least.
'Why in the name of Eru would we do THAT?!' he cried. 'What makes you think I would be willing to do such a thing?'
'The fact that I nearly killed you, Legolas, and if I were to just randomly pop into your head at another critical moment like that, it could cost you your life! I, for one, am not willing take that risk, even if it means not speaking to you for several months. There is no way for me to know what you are doing at all times, even if I am constantly aware of your emotions, and I never know what you may be in the middle of when I call for you.'
Legolas remained silent for a few moments, but I could still follow his thoughts -- he was trying to come up with a good argument against what I just said.
'Why do you have to make so much sense?' he finally complained. 'I really wish I had a good argument against that. I do. I do not want to be cut off from home, from you, for so long. Mara, I do not know how long this may take. It could be months; it could be years.'
As soon as he said 'years' I felt my eyes fill with tears. Never had I been separated from him for more than two months at a time since we were children, and now he was gone, not knowing when he would return. He had always been there for me, through my parents' deaths, through my dangerous dreams, and even though he had hid the fact that he was in love with me the entire time, after he had told me he had never pushed the issue, for which I was immensly grateful.
I forced my raging emotions to subside, with some of Legolas's calming influence to help. 'It is the only way,' I finally said. I felt more than heard his reluctant agreement. 'I wish you the best on your journey, and I will pray constantly for the Valar to watch over you,' I said, emotion filling the words. 'Please be safe, please come back to me,' I added. I felt his emotions rise to match, even overpower mine as tears began streaming down my cheeks.
'I love you,' was the last thing I felt and heard before the thoughts and emotions of his which had been as real to me as my own disappeared.
A/N: I hope it was worth the wait, although I do not think it to be my best writing. I will be out of town this weekend but to make up for lot time will try to have the next chapter posted by mid next week! hands out elf cookies to everyone within reach