Chapter Ten-I am He; He is I
He was trained for a year. With 'The Real Robin' no longer, Robin is against the Titan's, and becoming more like Slade! And not to mention becoming stronger, too. But when something agonizes Robin, he passes. Will the Titans find out in time?
Slade "trained" his apprentice-me-for another year. Robin is forgotten. He is dead. He is never coming back. Ever. I write in this journal about my training, and how much stronger I have become in six years, as you know. The old Robin had two rules: Number One: Never give up. Number Two: It isn't how strong you are physically, but mentally is where it counts. His rules have vanished only to become new ones. Number One: Fight to win. Number Two: It isn't how strong you are mentally, but physically is where it counts.
I become more and more like Slade everyday. The people I am doing this for-I have forgotten the group's name, and the names of those in the group-have yet to discover the probes that were put in their bodies six years ago. I have encountered them several times in the past, but I follow Slade's commands: fight to win. They hold back while fighting me, but I do not. I give my one hundred percent.
He fights me. Over the days, I have begun to win. The sun? It has disappeared for years. My missions are at night. You could say I have become nocturnal. And the other group? They have stopped showing up. They roam around town, still naïve about his intents. I watch them still, as I am now. I pity them, and yet laugh inside. I have no friends. Slade is not a friend. Just a mentor...a teacher...a master. My master.
The one they mention as Robin, the one that died a year ago, has no life in his room. None. Vanished. Gone. Now and then the door opens, a girl full of anguish, catastrophe, and deplore enters, eyes full of tears that shed sorrow into the dark dimension. The door has opened now, the callow girl entering to shed her grief and disconsolation into the dark pit that will lead her to a life of a hell full of grieving. I hear a sweet and gentle voice speak. "I loved you Robin." That was all it had to say. The door shut, the girl entering her own dimension.
Something in what she said forces an instants sorrow into me. The stone in which had become my heart, softened then re-petrified. Slade tells me I am rough around the edges, but with thirty minutes of training a day, I can shine to be better than the group. The probes. They were not gone, but forgotten. If Slade were to destroy them at this instant, I would still be his apprentice. I have no friends. I did, but no longer do.
I have training tonight with Slade. Mondays, Wednesday, and Fridays I have missions-normally robberies-and on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays, and Sundays I have training. Tonight is a Saturday, so I have training. Ten minutes. Until training that is. Slade has taught me much. Normally, I would've only done what I am for them. Not any longer. I do this for me. For Slade. He and I am the only thing that matter. Not innocents, not other criminals. Just us.
Pain. Anguish. Agony. It is back! The pain! Why does it never stop! I feel this every day-WHY?! GUILT? HATRED? ANGER? WHY WILL IT NOT LEAVE?! This whole damn world hates me! It despises the black fox in the night! Me! Why does it hate me so?
I have fallen to the ground now, clasping my heart in my hands. 'I am being destroyed! For betraying them for Slade! For becoming who I am!' No. I am who I am because I want to be what I am. Not for them-for ME! And only me! I fall into a black whole. Voices, all full of different emotions. Sorrow, happy, anger, hatred, fear-when will this madness end! Have I gone insane? All stops, blacker than any dark known to the known and the unknown.
author's note: Well was that good? Kinda sad... Nother chap ASAP!
Niobe