Disclainer/Dedication::: The following chapter uses lyrics from "My Immortal" by Evanescence. With the help of my one friend Katy, I did change a few of those lyrics. I dedicate this chapter to Katy who lost her own boyfriend last October. She has dealt with this type of pain more closely than I ever had. May God give her the strength to carry on without Tyler.
Immortal Wounds....
Liliana made nighttime in Manhattan her alone time. Blink would only let her wander off when almost all the papers were sold. He never stopped worrying about her safety but he understood that she needed the time to heal.
It had been two weeks since she had first met the newsies and Liliana had not yet thought about how she got here or how to get back to the year 2004. She wasn't even sure if she wanted to go back. There were too many things about 2004 that she didn't want to deal with.
Luke..., she thought as she slowly walked towards the bridge. God, I miss you!
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And I don't want it to go
Once again Liliana fouond herself contemplating whether or not she should just end her pain. It seemed so much easier. The pain would be gone and nobody would miss her.
Nobody but Blink, whispered a voice. He would miss you. She smiled slightly at that. She quickly frowned again as she thought of how Blink would never forgive himself if she died. Luke wouldn't forgive himself either if it was him there.
But he's not here. He's gone, she thought. He'll never be here to worry over you again.
Lillie...I am here, whispered a voice as she looked out over Manhattan. I'll always watch over you.
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice, it chased away all the sanity in me
"Shit, now I'm hearing voices. I must be losing it," muttered Liliana even as comfort washed over her from hearing Luke's voice.
I'll always watch over you... The words seemed so soothing but Liliana knew they couldn't be true. She sighed as she found herself once again on the Brooklyn Bridge. She could see Brooklyn from where she was. At least, she could vaguely see it.
She shuddered as the memories came flooding back. The sound of that fatal shot rang loudly in her ears. No, she mentally screamed. She heard her pleas from the night drift to her from a faraway place. Please don't take him God. I still need him here. Don't take him from me.
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just to real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
God did take him from her that night. He took Luke when she needed him the most. "What kind of God does that? I thought You loved Your children," she whispered to the Heavens as tears came to her eyes. She had asked God similar questions since Luke died but she had never so much as received an answer. Did He even hear her?
She shook her head as she looked out in the direction of Brooklyn once again. She could almost feel Luke's presence right next to her. It erased all her tension and anger. How could he be gone when it felt as if he were right next to her?
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to see a very concerned-looking Blink. She tried to manage a smile for him but instead her resolve seemed to break. She broke down into tears.
Blink pulled her close to him, just as Luke would have done. Strangely that thought seemed to calm her a little. Her tears seemed to slow. She smiled faintly as she imagined that it was Luke holding her and whispering words of comfort.
When I cried you'd wipe away all of my tears
When we screamed we'd fight away all of our fears
And you held my hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
"Let's go back ta da Lodgin' House. It's gettin' late," whispered Blink when her tears had completely stopped.
She pulled away and wiped away the last remnants of her tears. She nodded to Blink and the two quietly headed back to their beds, both hoping to catch some sleep so that they would be able to get up early for work.
As Liliana laid her head down on her pillow, the last thing she remembered before drifting off into a dreamless sleep was hearing Luke.
I am here....I'll always watch over you.
Hey everyone. I am so very sorry for the long wait. This chapter just took a lot out of me to write. I guess that is why it took me a while to actually take the time and effort to write it. I hope I was able to present the feelings that I poured into this. Losing a loved one is never easy and the pain is always hovering over you ...or it seems to hover over you. I guess you could say this chapter and chapter 5 "Reasons to Forget" were part of my own healing process. I hope it was worth your wait. Don't worry this story isn't completely focused on her pain. Simply because life isn't just pain. Thanks to all my reviewers. You are always patient with me. Please review!!
Molly