Hello, sorry about the no updates to this story recently. I've been working on my other one. But as solace to not updating, I've decided to add another chapter, just audience questions. It won't be up soon, because I have to think up stupid questions.
Disclaimer: Yes I don't own the JL, or Winnie the Pooh, or The Jerry Springer Show. Hell if I did it would be called the Abby show. And everyone would scream "Abby, Abby, Abby" instead of Jerry, because why would they scream 'Jerry', if it had nothing to do with the show?
Chapter 4
Thrice Right: The Pain Of Clogs
"Hello and welcome back to a special episode of Jerry Springer. Today we have the Justice League here to handle they're problems, and believe me, this is even better than having 'Winnie the Pooh' characters..."
"Uh Jer, I hate to break it to you, but 'Winnie the Pooh' isn't real," Wally corrected.
"Sure it isn't. Now so far we've had the weeping leader, the Oreo fixated alien, the glory hog, and the denial couple, we're only missing the other two leaguers in a relationship." Jerry looked at the card, "John Stewart and She...Shy...Shir..."
"Shayera," J'onn mumbled spitting pieces of Oreos everywhere.
"Ah yes, but wait. Before they come out I have to give you a chance to bad mouth them."
"John's stubborn!" Wally yelled out and received questioning looks from the remainder of the League, "What well he is."
"He never shares his beer."
"He takes to long in the bathroom."
"He stares at everything, for hours upon end."
"Sometimes when it's quiet his nose whistles when he breathes."
"His thoughts are disturbing."
"He's always late."
"His house is a mess."
"He doesn't fold my clothes properly."
Once again everyone looked at Flash, "What?" he asked, "I mean when it's his turn to do the laundry, he never folds my clothes right."
"Flash," Diana sighed as she held her head, "How many times do I have to tell you, WE DON'T TAKE TURNS DOING THE LAUNDRY!"
"Alright, what about Shy...She..."
"Hawkgirl has a major anger management problem, I mean one little thing wrong and she'll scream and turn the room into a royal rumble. Oh and she molts al over the place, and I don't mean like a little feather here, a little feather there. I mean like pounds upon pounds on the floor. Sheesh her room looks like a hen house," Flash complained.
"And she never goes shopping with me. Every time I ask it's 'No, I'm busy' or 'Not right now Diana' or 'I told you I hated you now leave!' And she never talks girl talk with me. I mean I always have to talk to J'onn about girl stuff."
"It's true!" J'onn sobbed, "I know so much stuff I never wanted to know before!"
"Yeah and her and GL have to stop macking it in the halls, and in the kitchen, and on the pool table, and in the bathroom, and in the grocery stores, and in the bars, and in the monitor womb. Hey while we're here can we make a different name for that room? I mean 'monitor womb', is kinda gross," Flash kept complaining.
"Really Flash, Hawkgirl and John aren't that bad," Clark explained.
"Alright well lets bring them out," Jerry suggested.
The cameras focused on the doorway for the last time and waited. Yet again no one appeared in the door.
"WHY CAN'T YOU FREAKS COME OUT LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE!?" Jerry screamed enraged.
"I think you answered your own question Mr. Springer," J'onn answered.
"Whatever, Yeah Bill," Springer was talking through his earpiece, "Yeah find them would you? Take a camera back there too."
The giant screen behind the League visualized as a dark hallway with people scrambling left and right.
"I bet you they're at it again," Wally guessed as he crossed his arms.
"Oh come on Wally, they're professionals like Bruce and Diana. Hey where did they go," asked Clark. Diana and Bruce's seats were empty.
"Oh for God's sake, can't you people stand still for a minute?" Springer asked.
"Hey Buddy I'm the one who should have a problem with it and I'm standing still."
"There what's that?" asked Springer. The camera had stopped on John's dressing room. There where various noises and giggles coming out of it. "Well what are you waiting for? GET IN THERE! What?!?! No you shouldn't knock."
The door opened to reveal John and Shayera in a less than appropriate position.
Clark's eyes got wide, J'onn stopped eating his Oreos and Wally jumped up, raised his hands and cheered, "Ha! Told you so! Point for Wally!"
The camera left the room after Shayera brutally beat the cameraman until he was left twitching on the ground.
Five minutes later the couple graced the stage with their presence. They walked out and took their seats.
"So I hear you guys have some problems?" Jerry asked.
"Well not together," John stated.
"Well the League has many problems with you as a couple and as individuals."
"Really?" they both said at the same time raising an eyebrow towards the League. J'onn and Clark both pointed to Wally.
"Well since you two were, umm preoccupied before I guess we can replay it."
The screen once again lit up and Flash was there complaining about Hawkgirl.
"Hawkgirl has a major anger management problem, I mean one little thing wrong and she'll scream and turn the room into a royal rumble. Oh and she molts al over the place, and I don't mean like a little feather here, a little feather there. I mean like pounds upon pounds on the floor. Sheesh her room looks like a hen house," Flash complained.
"Okay," Wally said trebling, "That was totally taken out of context."
"Molt huh? Anger management problem eh!?! I'LL SHOW YOU ANGER MANAGEMENT!!!" She screamed flying across the room, with her mace on hand.
"AH!" Wally screamed and went to run but tripped on the camera cable. He turned around and looked at Shay flying right towards him and screamed, "Ah I want a closed coffin funeral!"
"Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry!" the audience cheered Hawkgirl on.
Then a green light appeared around Shay and brought her back.
"Jeez, can we go anywhere without you fighting with everyone?" He asked as the bubble faded from around her.
"Well maybe if you'd defend me once and awhile!" she screamed back
"I defend you all the time! Remember when I blew up in the casino? Or when I got beaten up by Hro?"
"Yeah but I saved you from Hro too, and then I started your heart again."
"Or the time when I saved you from being Despero's biotch."
"Or the time when I gathered your friends for you when you were on trial?"
"What about the time I saved you from Copperhead!?"
"That doesn't count, I could've handled myself!" she screamed back.
Both Leaguers stopped and looked at each other, then started to kiss passionately.
"HA another point for me, I'm racking up the points man!" Wally screamed excitedly.
"Not as much as John I'm afraid," the Martian spoke as he watched the couple confused.
"Hey, HEY, HEY!!!! Can you break it up for a minute just so I can ask you guys some questions?"
"Sure," GL said letting go of Shay.
"Sorry," she complied blushing a bit.
"Now the first thing is first, you two aren't even the same species! Why are you even together?"
"Because we love each other stupid. God who cares what we look like," John replied.
"Everyone else does, they don't take kindly to interspecies sex," Jerry replied.
"Really, well..." Shayera stopped and thought, "I really don't have a come back."
"Great come back Feathers," Wally laughed.
"You SHUT UP!" she screamed taking off one of her shoes and hurling it at his head.
Flash caught it quickly and decided to rub it in, "HA!," he laughed, "Without your mace you..." He never finished that sentence because the other shoe hit him in the face, soul first.
"Alright do you to have any problems with.." Jerry was interrupted.
"Yeah we have tones of problems with the League," John stated.
"I was going to say each other," Jerry added.
"Oh, well there is one little thing," John said quietly. Shay turned her head away from beating Wally with her clogs and looked at him.
"Well you get to jealous easily," he shrugged.
"I DO! YOU DO!" she replied back dropping the shoe on Wally's face and standing up.
"Lit..lel word o' the wise...bub," Wally's words were slurred, "I wodent get 'er mad right now."
"I do not get jealous," Shayera growled.
Just then a girl stood up in the audience and screamed, "Green Lantern is my hero."
Shayera stopped turned back and grabbed her clog and threw it at the audience member who was knocked out.
"See I don't get jealous I get even, besides you are way more jealous then I'll ever be," she replied smugly.
"Oh there is no way..."
Just then the man who had seen Shayera before the show to consult her about the microphone appeared because it had fallen off in her tiff with Wally.
"Miss I need to.." He didn't finish because John punched him in the face.
"He was just going to put my mike back on," She sighed angrily with her hands on her hips.
"Meh," John shrugged back.
"Why do you have to be so malicious?" she screamed at him.
"Why do you have to be so vicious?" he yelled back.
Then on cue they started to kiss again.
"Ha thrice right," Wally said raising his hand then let it fall limply to his side.
"That is the weirdest thing I've ever seen," Springer enlightened as the couple still hadn't broken apart. "Do we need like bodyguards down there?"
"You think that is weird Mr. Springer? I believe you'll like this," J'onn then ran to one of the large curtains hanging by the entrance door and ripped it off the wall.
Behind it stood Bruce and Diana kissing passionately. They were oblivious to the fact that they had been discovered until the audience gasped.
"Ummm," Bruce moved away from Diana, "She was choking on food from the snack table, and I was giving her CPR."
"Yes I'm allergic to shellfish," she complied then cleared her throat and coughed.
"My friend I do not believe she was choking," J'onn told.
"OH, but she was!"
"Yeah, Bats I don't know where you learned how to perform CPR, but your hand doesn't need to be there. You busted," Wally explained getting up.
"But..." Bruce tried to Explain.
"Busted," Wally repeated.
"I.."
"Busted!"
"Well this has certainly been an interesting show, but it's not over yet! When we return from the break, we will have the audience's questions," Jerry announced before the show went to commercial.
Most of the League just looked at each other. Then Wally pointed behind him at Green Lantern and Hawkgirl.
"Umm, don't they need to breathe?"
There you have it. You laughed but now it's all over. And -remembers about the next chapter- oh yeah! So I guess there's still another chapter until the end of this story. I'd love to hear your reviews and/or your favorite parts Thanks
Disclaimer: Yes I don't own the JL, or Winnie the Pooh, or The Jerry Springer Show. Hell if I did it would be called the Abby show. And everyone would scream "Abby, Abby, Abby" instead of Jerry, because why would they scream 'Jerry', if it had nothing to do with the show?
Chapter 4
Thrice Right: The Pain Of Clogs
"Hello and welcome back to a special episode of Jerry Springer. Today we have the Justice League here to handle they're problems, and believe me, this is even better than having 'Winnie the Pooh' characters..."
"Uh Jer, I hate to break it to you, but 'Winnie the Pooh' isn't real," Wally corrected.
"Sure it isn't. Now so far we've had the weeping leader, the Oreo fixated alien, the glory hog, and the denial couple, we're only missing the other two leaguers in a relationship." Jerry looked at the card, "John Stewart and She...Shy...Shir..."
"Shayera," J'onn mumbled spitting pieces of Oreos everywhere.
"Ah yes, but wait. Before they come out I have to give you a chance to bad mouth them."
"John's stubborn!" Wally yelled out and received questioning looks from the remainder of the League, "What well he is."
"He never shares his beer."
"He takes to long in the bathroom."
"He stares at everything, for hours upon end."
"Sometimes when it's quiet his nose whistles when he breathes."
"His thoughts are disturbing."
"He's always late."
"His house is a mess."
"He doesn't fold my clothes properly."
Once again everyone looked at Flash, "What?" he asked, "I mean when it's his turn to do the laundry, he never folds my clothes right."
"Flash," Diana sighed as she held her head, "How many times do I have to tell you, WE DON'T TAKE TURNS DOING THE LAUNDRY!"
"Alright, what about Shy...She..."
"Hawkgirl has a major anger management problem, I mean one little thing wrong and she'll scream and turn the room into a royal rumble. Oh and she molts al over the place, and I don't mean like a little feather here, a little feather there. I mean like pounds upon pounds on the floor. Sheesh her room looks like a hen house," Flash complained.
"And she never goes shopping with me. Every time I ask it's 'No, I'm busy' or 'Not right now Diana' or 'I told you I hated you now leave!' And she never talks girl talk with me. I mean I always have to talk to J'onn about girl stuff."
"It's true!" J'onn sobbed, "I know so much stuff I never wanted to know before!"
"Yeah and her and GL have to stop macking it in the halls, and in the kitchen, and on the pool table, and in the bathroom, and in the grocery stores, and in the bars, and in the monitor womb. Hey while we're here can we make a different name for that room? I mean 'monitor womb', is kinda gross," Flash kept complaining.
"Really Flash, Hawkgirl and John aren't that bad," Clark explained.
"Alright well lets bring them out," Jerry suggested.
The cameras focused on the doorway for the last time and waited. Yet again no one appeared in the door.
"WHY CAN'T YOU FREAKS COME OUT LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE!?" Jerry screamed enraged.
"I think you answered your own question Mr. Springer," J'onn answered.
"Whatever, Yeah Bill," Springer was talking through his earpiece, "Yeah find them would you? Take a camera back there too."
The giant screen behind the League visualized as a dark hallway with people scrambling left and right.
"I bet you they're at it again," Wally guessed as he crossed his arms.
"Oh come on Wally, they're professionals like Bruce and Diana. Hey where did they go," asked Clark. Diana and Bruce's seats were empty.
"Oh for God's sake, can't you people stand still for a minute?" Springer asked.
"Hey Buddy I'm the one who should have a problem with it and I'm standing still."
"There what's that?" asked Springer. The camera had stopped on John's dressing room. There where various noises and giggles coming out of it. "Well what are you waiting for? GET IN THERE! What?!?! No you shouldn't knock."
The door opened to reveal John and Shayera in a less than appropriate position.
Clark's eyes got wide, J'onn stopped eating his Oreos and Wally jumped up, raised his hands and cheered, "Ha! Told you so! Point for Wally!"
The camera left the room after Shayera brutally beat the cameraman until he was left twitching on the ground.
Five minutes later the couple graced the stage with their presence. They walked out and took their seats.
"So I hear you guys have some problems?" Jerry asked.
"Well not together," John stated.
"Well the League has many problems with you as a couple and as individuals."
"Really?" they both said at the same time raising an eyebrow towards the League. J'onn and Clark both pointed to Wally.
"Well since you two were, umm preoccupied before I guess we can replay it."
The screen once again lit up and Flash was there complaining about Hawkgirl.
"Hawkgirl has a major anger management problem, I mean one little thing wrong and she'll scream and turn the room into a royal rumble. Oh and she molts al over the place, and I don't mean like a little feather here, a little feather there. I mean like pounds upon pounds on the floor. Sheesh her room looks like a hen house," Flash complained.
"Okay," Wally said trebling, "That was totally taken out of context."
"Molt huh? Anger management problem eh!?! I'LL SHOW YOU ANGER MANAGEMENT!!!" She screamed flying across the room, with her mace on hand.
"AH!" Wally screamed and went to run but tripped on the camera cable. He turned around and looked at Shay flying right towards him and screamed, "Ah I want a closed coffin funeral!"
"Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry!" the audience cheered Hawkgirl on.
Then a green light appeared around Shay and brought her back.
"Jeez, can we go anywhere without you fighting with everyone?" He asked as the bubble faded from around her.
"Well maybe if you'd defend me once and awhile!" she screamed back
"I defend you all the time! Remember when I blew up in the casino? Or when I got beaten up by Hro?"
"Yeah but I saved you from Hro too, and then I started your heart again."
"Or the time when I saved you from being Despero's biotch."
"Or the time when I gathered your friends for you when you were on trial?"
"What about the time I saved you from Copperhead!?"
"That doesn't count, I could've handled myself!" she screamed back.
Both Leaguers stopped and looked at each other, then started to kiss passionately.
"HA another point for me, I'm racking up the points man!" Wally screamed excitedly.
"Not as much as John I'm afraid," the Martian spoke as he watched the couple confused.
"Hey, HEY, HEY!!!! Can you break it up for a minute just so I can ask you guys some questions?"
"Sure," GL said letting go of Shay.
"Sorry," she complied blushing a bit.
"Now the first thing is first, you two aren't even the same species! Why are you even together?"
"Because we love each other stupid. God who cares what we look like," John replied.
"Everyone else does, they don't take kindly to interspecies sex," Jerry replied.
"Really, well..." Shayera stopped and thought, "I really don't have a come back."
"Great come back Feathers," Wally laughed.
"You SHUT UP!" she screamed taking off one of her shoes and hurling it at his head.
Flash caught it quickly and decided to rub it in, "HA!," he laughed, "Without your mace you..." He never finished that sentence because the other shoe hit him in the face, soul first.
"Alright do you to have any problems with.." Jerry was interrupted.
"Yeah we have tones of problems with the League," John stated.
"I was going to say each other," Jerry added.
"Oh, well there is one little thing," John said quietly. Shay turned her head away from beating Wally with her clogs and looked at him.
"Well you get to jealous easily," he shrugged.
"I DO! YOU DO!" she replied back dropping the shoe on Wally's face and standing up.
"Lit..lel word o' the wise...bub," Wally's words were slurred, "I wodent get 'er mad right now."
"I do not get jealous," Shayera growled.
Just then a girl stood up in the audience and screamed, "Green Lantern is my hero."
Shayera stopped turned back and grabbed her clog and threw it at the audience member who was knocked out.
"See I don't get jealous I get even, besides you are way more jealous then I'll ever be," she replied smugly.
"Oh there is no way..."
Just then the man who had seen Shayera before the show to consult her about the microphone appeared because it had fallen off in her tiff with Wally.
"Miss I need to.." He didn't finish because John punched him in the face.
"He was just going to put my mike back on," She sighed angrily with her hands on her hips.
"Meh," John shrugged back.
"Why do you have to be so malicious?" she screamed at him.
"Why do you have to be so vicious?" he yelled back.
Then on cue they started to kiss again.
"Ha thrice right," Wally said raising his hand then let it fall limply to his side.
"That is the weirdest thing I've ever seen," Springer enlightened as the couple still hadn't broken apart. "Do we need like bodyguards down there?"
"You think that is weird Mr. Springer? I believe you'll like this," J'onn then ran to one of the large curtains hanging by the entrance door and ripped it off the wall.
Behind it stood Bruce and Diana kissing passionately. They were oblivious to the fact that they had been discovered until the audience gasped.
"Ummm," Bruce moved away from Diana, "She was choking on food from the snack table, and I was giving her CPR."
"Yes I'm allergic to shellfish," she complied then cleared her throat and coughed.
"My friend I do not believe she was choking," J'onn told.
"OH, but she was!"
"Yeah, Bats I don't know where you learned how to perform CPR, but your hand doesn't need to be there. You busted," Wally explained getting up.
"But..." Bruce tried to Explain.
"Busted," Wally repeated.
"I.."
"Busted!"
"Well this has certainly been an interesting show, but it's not over yet! When we return from the break, we will have the audience's questions," Jerry announced before the show went to commercial.
Most of the League just looked at each other. Then Wally pointed behind him at Green Lantern and Hawkgirl.
"Umm, don't they need to breathe?"
There you have it. You laughed but now it's all over. And -remembers about the next chapter- oh yeah! So I guess there's still another chapter until the end of this story. I'd love to hear your reviews and/or your favorite parts Thanks