Chapter 14

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A/N: This chapter gave me hell, let me tell you. Lots and lots of hell. Hopefully you'll enjoy it, though, and I think you'll all be quite surprised as to how I used the word "flabbergasted" in it. . . Yeah. Review, please!

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Mark kicked through the slush on the sidewalk and shoved his hands into his pockets. His mind was racing with the events of the past week. He thought going for a walk might clear his mind, but if anything, it made him more depressed. Roger was still missing, and even though he didn't want to, Mark worried about him. He knew his friend was in some trouble, most likely with drugs. He was probably sick, too. He had left his coat when he stormed out of the Life the other night. Mark had no idea where to find him, though, and that killed him. Roger could be laying dead in an alleyway for all he knew, and he couldn't do a thing about it.

April had stuck to her decision about attending rehab, and got Collins to take her earlier in the day. He had come home in his four hours between classes and took April there via subway, rushing back to school afterwards. Mark had noticed that a bond had formed between April and Collins. She wouldn't talk very much unless it was to Collins, and she seemed to trust him more than anybody else in the group. April researched rehabilitation and detoxification centres around the city all night after she made her decision. She finally decided on one and quickly went to sleep. When she woke up, she called up her parents and had a very long, drawn-out, and loud 'discussion' with them about why she hadn't called them for the past week and a half, and where she was going for the next four months. Mark didn't try to eavesdrop, but he couldn't help it; April's yelling could be heard out in the hallways outside the loft. She had left a blank cheque on the counter, making Mark promise to at least ask Roger to go again, and if he agreed, to use that cheque to pay for it. She had also left a note for everyone, but said that they weren't allowed to read it until everybody was there, Roger included. She had a lot of hope in Roger's homecoming, and Mark wasn't sure why.

Mark snapped back into reality to find himself standing on the crowded subway, his hand clinging onto the rail along the top. It was almost 5:30 in the evening, so it was pretty crowded with men and women in business suits clutching briefcases and purses, kids on their way to visit their friends, and even some students returning from school in their dark green uniforms.

The subway slowed to a halt and Mark pushed his way off through the crowds of people carefully rearranging themselves so as not to hurt their cargo. He and a couple other people stepped onto the platform and Mark brushed himself off. He wandered out into the cold outdoors and put his hands back into his pockets. He didn't know what to do with them. They were usually wrapped around his camera or Maureen's hand. He sighed and continued to walk until he finally reached the loft. He climbed the stairs and walked down the hallways to the door. He heard quiet murmurs coming from inside. Mark opened the door and found Maureen sitting with her back to the door on the island, talking on the phone.

"Yeah, I want to go, but I shouldn't go anytime this week. April just left and I can't just disappear again. Mark would die. I know. I will. Love you, too."

Mark watched her click the phone off and set it on the island, resting her head in her hands. He quickly backed up out of the doorway and shut the door silently.

Oh God. She loved someone else. Mark felt hot tears prickling at the back of his eyes, but they stayed put for the time being. He backed up against the wall and rubbed his blonde head with his hand. He tried to listen for any signs of movement in the loft, but heard nothing until it seemed that she got up and turned on the radio or the television. He stood, leaning against the wall for a few more minutes before he felt able to face Maureen. What the hell was going on? He stood up straight, and turned into the door, swinging it open. Maureen was now on the couch, flipping channels on the very old, very shitty television resting on an old plastic milk crate. She looked up and smiled, dropping the converter next to her.

"Hey."

"Hi," Mark replied. He couldn't look her in the eyes. He unwrapped his scarf from his neck and took off his coat, hanging it up slowly in the closet.

"You didn't take your camera. I saw it and I was like, this is weird!" she laughed, getting up and moving closer to him. Mark tried to hide a smile and laughed a bit at her general weirdness. He didn't want to give in, but it was too hard not to. He walked over to the kitchen, trying to remind himself about why he was mad at Maureen, but for some reason it escaped him. She didn't even need to talk - her exuberant charisma smothered him like a blanket over a fire, and he was at her service once again. All she needed to do was come up behind Mark and wrap her arms around his waist, and he was putty in her hands.

"You okay?" she asked as Mark turned around and wrapped his arms around her. He tried one last time to try and figure out why he should be mad at Maureen, but failed to do so, so he shrugged.

"Yup," he smiled. He leaned down and kissed her, his hand wandering up into her hair. He pulled her closer to him, but she pulled away, giggling quietly. "What?" he asked, grimacing.

"Nothing," she smiled, pulling away from him and flopping down back on the couch. Mark sighed and sat down next to her, grabbing onto her hand again.

"You alright? Like, with everything going on here?" Mark asked, turning his head to her. She shrugged and kept her eyes to the television.

"I guess. It doesn't really concern me, so. . ." 'I don't care,' she wanted to finish, but resisted. "I mean, I don't really know April really well, and let's face it, I'm not a big Roger fan," she laughed quietly. "At least April's gonna get better, right?" she shrugged, turning to Mark.

He wanted desperately to pull her close and kiss her and tell her everything would be okay and they'd all live happily ever after, but figured it probably wouldn't be, at least for a very long time.

"Yeah, she'll be fine." He was trying to convince himself, too.

"And Roger'll come back. He always does," she shrugged again. "He runs out of money. . .or whatever. . ."

"Yeah," Mark replied. He turned back to the television and wrinkled his nose. "What are you watching?"

Maureen laughed and tilted her head to the side. "It's either The Young and the Restless or Sesame Street."

"I think it's Sesame Street. Look, that's Big Bird." He pointed to a large grey blob on the left side of the screen.

"No, silly, that's the Black Knight!" she giggled, putting her feet up on the coffee table.

"The what?" Mark laughed, doing the same.

"The Black Knight! Victor Newman! God, Mark. . ." she scolded him jokingly. The two felt the coffee table start to move underneath them. Maureen started to push the table around with her feet making loud 'ghost noises' to accompany this. Mark laughed as she continued to do this for whatever reason, until he heard the table creak loudly. He sat up straight and quickly lifted Maureen's feet off the table as the table loudly crumbled into large wooden pieces underneath them.

"Oops. . ." she laughed, burying her face in her hands. Mark laughed and slid off the couch onto the floor, resting his hand on Maureen's knee. He lifted up a small piece of what was once the table and handed it to Maureen.

"Should we try and fix it?" he laughed, raising an eyebrow.

"I guess so," she replied. "But I'm not one for manual labour," she warned, examining her fingernails.

"Oh, shut up you wiener!" He pulled her down next to him, and the two rummaged through the wooden pieces, trying to build them back into a coffee table.

"This is such a piece of shit," Maureen laughed, trying to shove two pieces together. "Why did you guys buy this piece of shit?"

"Hey, it's not shit! It's just. . .yeah, okay, it's shit. But it's our shit," he smiled, mock-fondly. "We found it." The pieces that Maureen was holding in her hands fell to the ground and she jumped back.

"Gross! Mark!" she screamed. "You just found it!?" she asked, flabbergasted.

"Yeah," he laughed. "Outside the building when me and Benny first moved in here. All we had were two mattresses and this couch, so we took whatever we could get."

Maureen wrinkled her nose and carefully rearranged the pieces of wood on the ground into a small pile.

"At least now you have bed," she remarked, raising an eyebrow.

". . .Because we both know how much you like that!"

Maureen tried to hide a smile and hit her boyfriend in the shoulder. "Stupid. Why are we trying to do this?"

"Because it's sentimental. And you broke it. I think you owe me. Big time," Mark stated, pushing her pile of wood pieces back to her.

"We're never gonna get this back together! Let's just make a fire and call it a day," she sighed, laying down on the ground. Mark laughed and moved over so that he was sitting beside her. He slipped his hand into her smaller one and kissed her forehead.

"I love you," he whispered.

Maureen smiled back at him and kissed him before he would expect a response. She didn't want to have to deal with anything more sentimental than a coffee table tonight.

Mark rested a hand on Maureen's waist and law down next to her, pushing the remaining pieces of table behind him. He ran his fingers gently over her cheek and started to play with her hair.

Maureen felt completely guilt-stricken. She was so confused, and angry at herself for letting what was once a simple past time escalate into what seemed like the problem of the century. She really didn't want to hurt Mark, but she wasn't sure if that's who she wanted to be with anymore. She like Joanne a lot, but she couldn't admit to herself that she wanted to be with another woman rather than Mark. Every time Mark kissed her or told her that he loved her, she felt like a small part of her was dying. She hated herself for doing this to someone as sweet and wonderful as him, but she couldn't help it. She wanted everything.

The door opened and Collins and Noah stood in the doorway, hands linked together. Collins cleared his throat loudly and Noah wrinkled his nose.

"Seriously. Ever not doing that?" he asked, burying his face in Collins' shoulder.

Mark and Maureen looked up and smiled sheepishly in response.

"Sorry. . ." Mark said, sitting up. Collins and Noah hung their coats up in the closet and stood over the two who were still sitting on the ground.

"What happened here?" Collins asked, looking down at the piles of old wood that were once a coffee table.

"We had an accident," Maureen laughed, getting Noah to help her up into a standing position.

"So you did," Noah replied, laughing. He hopped over the pieces and took a seat on the couch with Mark. Collins walked over to the kitchen and searched for something to eat, and Maureen followed, leaning forward onto the island.

"Hi," she smiled. Collins looked back and raised an eyebrow.

"Hey, Mo," he laughed. He pulled a bowl out of the cupboards and filled it with cereal.

"How are you?" she asked, resting her chin in the palm of her hand.

"Fine. And you?" he asked, confused.

"I'm alright." Maureen watched Collins take a spoonful of cereal in his mouth and immediately her expression changed to one of sadness and fear. "Can I have a hug Collins?" she whispered.

Collins was taken aback, but slid the spoon back into the bowl.

"Sure." He walked around the island and hugged Maureen, who smiled.

"Thanks." She smiled again and flopped down in the chair in the living room. Collins shrugged and called to Noah.

"Want anything to eat?"

Noah nodded, and stood up, halting his and Mark's conversation for now. He went over to Collins in the kitchen and the two rummaged for something more to eat.

Suddenly, the door flung open and Benny came storming in. He tore off his coat and took off his shoes with little effort, muttering something about 'the stupid fucking world'. He plopped down on the couch and crossed his arms over his chest, his head hanging low. Everybody's eyes followed him as he did this.

"You. . .okay, man?" Mark asked cautiously.

Benny shrugged and swiped at his nose. "She could have told me."

"What?" Maureen asked loudly. Everybody in the room shot her a look, and she slumped back into her seat.

"God. Mimi has AIDS and she didn't tell me!" Benny yelled, shooting up from his seat. "She didn't even tell me!"

Everybody remained silent, but Benny continued.

"Just all of the sudden 'Hey, Benny, guess what I got!' What the hell am I supposed to do?!"

Mark stood up and took Maureen's hand. He dragged her over to the closet and took out their coats.

"We should go," he said quietly, helping Maureen into her coat.

"I don't want to-" Maureen started before she was shoved out the door by Mark.

"Bye guys!"

The door shut after them and they would hear Maureen's loud complaints coming from the hallway. The three men knew that Mark was trying to get Maureen out of something quickly before she could get her hands into it.

"What the fuck am I supposed to do?!" Benny asked again, facing Collins and Noah in the kitchen.

"When did she tell you this?" Collins asked.

"Before. Before I got here. I was over at her place and she just. . .told me. I don't know how I'm supposed to take that!"

"What did you do?"

"I left! What else could I do?! God! I'm so. . . ugh." Benny sat back down on the couch and dropped his head into his hands. Collins made his way over to the living room with Noah.

"Did you tell her how you feel?" Collins asked again.

"How I feel?! I feel very pissed off! Why didn't she tell me before this?!"

"Okay, Benny, man, you need to relax." Collins sat down next to Benny slowly and spoke calmly.

"Relax! How am I supposed to relax! My girlfriend has AIDS! She's sick! She's been dealing with whatever the hell AIDS does and she hasn't even let me help!" Benny jumped up from the couch, but Collins pulled him back down as Noah watched on from the kitchen.

"Whoa-whoa-whoa, you're worried about her?" Collins asked.

"Duh."

"Benny actually has feelings?" Collins asked, trying to stifle a laugh.

"Why the fuck are you laughing?! This isn't funny!"

"Sorry, but I thought you were pissed at her."

"I am! She didn't tell me! Mimi's sick and she wouldn't tell me! God, now I'm worried." Benny leaned back into the couch and covered his face with one of his hands.

"Why don't you tell her that?" Collins suggested.

"The man has a point. He knows what he's talking about," Noah spoke up from a stool in the kitchen.

Benny silently deliberated his friends' words for a moment and sighed loudly.

"I guess. I'm still mad, though."

"You have no reason not to be. Just be sensitive towards her. She's dealing with it, too."

'Honestly, how does Collins do it?' Benny thought to himself. 'He always cares and he always knows the exact thing to say.'

"Thanks, man. Really. You. . . you rock," he laughed.

"Yeah, I do, don't I?" Collins replied, standing up. He left Benny and went back into the kitchen with Noah.

"Maybe you should call her," Noah proposed.

"Yeah, maybe." Benny sat still for a few minutes as Collins and Noah cooked something up for supper. He stood up and sighed, looking around the room for the telephone. His eyes finally caught the pile of wood in the middle of the floor.

"What happened to the coffee table?" he asked.

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