Two To One

By: E.R.M. Griffin

CHAPTER 4

The first thing that hit her when she finally managed to pry her eyes open was the nausea. Running for the bathroom, Elena managed to slam into a desk, stub her toe, and smash her forehead before relieving the contents of her stomach in the toilet.

"Ugh…fucking…" she felt another wave of sickness, deciding it was best to keep silent.

Out late in the night?

She bit her lip, tears stinging the corners of her eyes. She bit back a retort to the comment in favor of avoiding further nausea. Her eyes closed, she leaned her head against the cool porcelain, breathing slowly to quell the churning in her stomach.

When at last she managed to tear herself away from the pitiful scene and stumble back into the bedroom, it was only because of her mother calling from below. Glancing at the alarm clock on her dresser, Elena moaned, shutting her eyes tightly and sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Ten minutes…yeah right." She laughed bitterly. It was fairly obvious she was going to be late for class. Overcoming the sickness, she forced herself to quickly wash and get dressed, heading out to the car with the knowledge that not only was the day starting out on a pretty bad scale, but she was already twenty minutes late for class.

"Crane's class, just had to be Crane's class, didn't it?" She growled under her breath as she curled up in the back seat of the family van.

"Hey, you okay?" Her mother glanced at her in the rearview mirror while adjusting her seatbelt. "Your paler then usual baby, you sick?"

"Just a bit nauseous, s'all. Car-sick!"

"We haven't started moving yet El!" her mother replied wryly. "Try again!"

"Um…pre-car sickness?"

"Are you pregnant?"

"Mom!"

They continued on like this until Elena finally slipped out of the car, now parked in the public parking zone at Gotham U.

By then, Elena's malady had passed considerably, and she was able to make her way into the building without teetering too obviously. The hallways were deserted, and she was reminded of her first day here, only a short while ago. She mentally chided herself for being late, despite her promise to Professor Crane she wouldn't be. In reality, she disliked tardiness in others, but hated it in herself with a particular vengeance. She had always figured if someone was kind enough to count on you being somewhere, the least you could do what be on time.

She stood outside the door, debating wether she should knock on it, or simply turn around and skip the class all-together, rather then risk humiliation at being kicked out.

"Professor Crane, all we've done in this class is talk about fear."

"Yeah, come on Professor, this is supposed to be a Psychology course!"

Professor Crane had his back to the students, one hand raised to his forehead. Two fingers nimbly massaged his temple, avoiding the oncoming headache. He had been through minor versions of this discussion before, and had always been able to write it off for them on the excuse that fear was just a lengthened lesson over the course of the semester.

However, the months had worn on and the classes had not ceased to concentrate wholly on some fear concept or another. Frankly, he didn't see the problem with it. They were interested in matters of the psyche. When it came to that topic, fear was the dominant factor. Master that particular subject, and the rest was a simple spider web of victory.

Of course, none of them understood that.

So little had changed, Crane had quickly realized. High school jocks and cheerleaders grew to college jocks and cheerleaders, if some even made it that far. The University was not so different. The majority of the students were there because mommy and daddy had provided for them. Nothing was earned anymore.

Someone else spoke up in protest, but Crane waved the comment away, then turned and walked towards the door, wanting to step out of the suddenly crowded room and get some breathing space.

Elena was just about to turn around and head back the way she had come when the door opened of its own accord, and she found herself staring blankly at her Psychology Professor. He regarded her with a sort of cold indifference in his eyes, before slowly closing the door behind him.

"Um…hi…" She smiled weakly, already feeling her face become red. "I'm sorry, I know I'm…"

"-late." He interrupted, shaking his head. "You have the most inconvenient timing Ms. Sutherland."

"I'm sorry…I just…I kind of had a bad night." She bit her lip, avoiding looking into his eyes as she spoke. "Nightmares."

This seemed to amuse him vaguely, and the tiny smirk that appeared on his lips only annoyed her.

"So there are some things that scare you after all," he commented.

She was frowning now. "I never said I was afraid, just that they were nightmares. It was an unpleasant night, that's all!"

And a rather unpleasant morning, wouldn't you say child? The voice spoke for the second time that day, having chosen to remain silent after the little episode in the bathroom.

Elena winced even more at this.

"Are they the reason you are the way you are?"

The question caught Elena off guard, and she gazed at her Professor with a mixed look of confusion and apprehension.

"What do you mean sir?"

There was a moment of silence, as though Crane were debating wether or not to answer her question. In truth, he was. He imagined it was probably a touchy subject, and doubted she would simply spill her problems to anyone. Not that he was overly concerned, just rather interested to see if he was correct in his assumptions.

"The state you are in. You seem almost constantly exhausted, and the way you let some of the other students treat you…are your nightmares the cause of this? Has something happened to you to cause them, or is your abuse by your so-called peers what causes them in the first place?" He spoke simply, not hesitating.

When he had finished, Elena looked at him with a bewildered expression on her face. Her eyes had widened, and her mouth parted only slightly. Crane could see his bluntness had caught her off-guard.

"Wow…way to dig into my personal life," she murmured, though her tone was not necessarily hostile, so much as weary.

"Did I overstep my boundaries then? I'm concerned, that's all." He lowered his voice by an octave or two, though his face remained neutral. "You're a good student Elena, I can't help being a bit worried about you…".

For a moment, Elena remained silent, staring up at him with an even further amazed look on her face. "I dream of monsters," she expelled in a small sigh, so soft he barely caught it.

Just one monster, my child. The monster that stares out through your eyes every day. The Nightmare was alive in her head, speaking in its deep voice.

She didn't want to hear it right now, Elena startled. Right now, she wanted to keep looking into those same tired eyes that so resembled her own in their heaviness. She wanted to concentrate more on what he was saying, and the notion it was the closest anyone had ever been of even the faintest notion of what was wrong with her. That way, she could hold on to the illusion of security, even if for a moment.

The monster is in you, The Nightmare continued on, Your living nightmare, remember Elena? Not only that, but your only link to this world. Without me, you would not find yourself standing here today, would you? You would be back in that alley, still bloody, and so very still…

Unconsciously, Elena pressed her hands together until they felt numb.

"Monsters…". Professor Crane echoed, arching an eyebrow. He wondered if she was being metaphorical. Substituting the abuse she was taking (and had no doubt taken in the past) by those same jocks and cheerleaders that he knew oh-so-well.

Elena suddenly felt a restlessness inside of her, and it took her a moment to realize it was not coming from her, but the Nightmare.

There is something inside of him…It spoke, and Elena felt the first tugs of the thing trying to gain control. This unnerved her, particularly since the events of the morning had weakened her considerably. Yet after a moment, it let go of the reigns, falling back to its black little space in her head. This, coupled with the nightmare's sudden interest in her psychology professor, heightened Elena's own interest in the older man.

It wasn't often that the nightmare took interest in anyone or anything. Particularly when left to its own devices, as it had done the previous night. More often these days, Elena was finding it far more difficult to keep control on a regular basis.

"Are you alright?" Professor Crane's voice brought Elena out of her reverie. He was looking at her with obvious concern, having noted the glassy look in her eyes.

"Yeah…just thinking."

"Oh?"

"Yeah…"

"Ms. Sutherland?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you care to take a walk?"

They walked together over the campus grounds, during which Professor Crane explained in lesser detail the reason he had left the class mid-lesson.

"Well, you can't really blame them," Elena spoke casually, knowing from the look on his face that this was a touchy subject she didn't want to get on his bad side with. "Not all of them know how important something really is."

The hard look on Professor Crane's face softened considerably. "Do you think it important?"

The most important thing in your life, isn't it? The nightmare intervened. Elena had felt its anxiety grow with each passing moment she had been walking with the professor.

"I tend to think about it a lot, I suppose. So yeah, I do think its important," she finally replied, having given her answer some thought. They walked on silently for a minute, before Elena paused and looked back. They had walked a considerably long distance from the building itself, now on the edge of campus. "So, I take it your skipping class Professor?" She grinned.

Crane couldn't resist smiling back. "I suppose I am. I have no patience for them today, I'm afraid."

"I guessed as much."

They began to walk back slowly, during which Professor Crane decided to bring up the subject he had touched upon previously.

"You mentioned you feared monsters." He spoke softly, watching her reaction. As suspected, she seemed to grow apprehensive once again. "It's strange. You don't seem as prone to fear as most of the other students, but for some reason, you seemed disturbed all the same. Is it because of the way the other students treat you?"

She glanced at him then, her eyes relaying some sadness or shame. Crane felt a momentary pang of pity, and felt his heart go out to the girl, despite his earlier efforts to alienate himself. He couldn't help but relate to her, his own history so filled with loneliness.

"My best friend was murdered," Elena replied, so softly that her voice was barely above a whisper. Crane fell silent, his eyes widening in surprise. "She was walking home from another friend's house that night. She was supposed to stay for a sleepover, but she had felt left out somehow, so she had decided to leave. She was like that a lot, you know. Kind of antisocial…," she winced, seeing the expression on his face. "God, I'm sorry. I don't even know why I'm telling you this, it isn't very proper."

Crane shook his head, laying a hand gently on her shoulder. His long fingers nearly brushing her cheek. "I can understand the pain of holding something like that inside. If you feel you can trust me, then please continue."

Elena smiled gently, then her smile melted away as she went on. "She never got home. She passed by an alley, where a man jumped her and dragged her in. She was raped, beaten, then strangled to death." She touched her hand gently to her throat as she spoke, her eyes filling with tears. Her fingers brushed Crane's as she did so, but Elena didn't seem to notice. She quickly brushed at her eyes before the tears could fall. "He left her there, just lying there like…like a piece of garbage," her voice quivered with hate. "Like she wansn't worth anything, and he was just a dirty rapist son of a bitch…" She caught Crane's eyes, smiling weakly. "Sorry, didn't mean to swear."

Crane waved away her apology. "Nothing to apologize about." They had arrived at the back entrance to the school, and hovered in front of the steps for a moment. "I suppose it must be difficult to find something tangible to fear after having something like that happen to someone you cared for."

"I guess…" she half-lied.

There was a beat of almost uncomfortable silence, which Professor Crane interrupted after glancing at his watch. "Class is over…" He sighed, looking back at her. Elena wasn't looking at him, staring down at the stairs instead. Her hand rested against the stone banister, unconsciously scratching at it gently. Her hair had fallen around her face, not as fuzzy as it had been the other day. The wind had flattened it slightly. He took a moment to study her. Her skin really was pale, suggesting both illness and probably many-a-restless nights. Regardless, she was vaguely pretty, in a strange way. Maybe it was her pain that made her seem intriguing.

Crane caught himself suddenly, shocked. He immediately looked away, timing it well as she finally looked back.

"Professor Crane?"

He sighed. "I'll see you next class Elena."

Moments later, she was left standing outside alone.