I think it might be easier if I just made the chapters longer and stopped making these leedy beedy ones every damn day. But I just lurve battling paragraph placement over and over again.
-----silec
"Devi, I love you.""That's not good enough."
"Shut up, why do I care what you think?"
"Because I'm the only one who gives a shit about anything you do." Johnny was sitting alone, or not quite alone, on the grimy curb not too far away from a specific lady's home. His head was buried in his lap, and at his side lay a bouquet of salmon-colored blossoms, wilting and yellowed from the nervous hands that had gripped them much too hard. The atmosphere was different here than it had been out on the road. It made him paranoid and uneasy. Each passing car sent a shudder through his spine and made him lock his knees together, toes pressed firmly into the sidewalk. The towering buildings, the dark, enticing shadows, the crowds of people, everything frightened Johnny. Things were not the same at all.
"I need to get out of here. There has to be something else I can do in this place. Maybe I could go home for a bit." No, he had to do this. She would haunt him to his grave if he didn't. Then again, she'd probably do the same if he did, which was why Nny was still there with his dead flowers.
His die-ary was there, too, sitting idly on a nearby bus stop bench. He didn't question why it was there; he only attributed it to the stranger and moved on. It was better, he decided, to not know too much about the voices in your head.
"Come on," it coaxed. "You seemed so ready when you bought those flowers. Now you're going to quit?" Johnny shrugged. He glimpsed the inappropriately positioned die-ary out of the corner of his eye. For a moment, the book looked almost hurt.
"I'm not cut out for this sort of thing. I'm all for pain and destruction. Love and happiness just isn't my thing, stranger. You should know that."
"That's the doughboy in you talking. You're through with that now. It's love, Johnny. I need it, and you need me, and so you're going to have to get it right eventually."
Recently, he had learned to use such endearing terms as "love" and "affection" in order to win Johnny over. Nny scoffed at this newfound passion of stranger's, but it didn't seem to be ending this crusade of emotions anytime soon, so he played along with it sometimes.
"Please, you're going to make me sick. I can't do this. I've hurt her. She's scared of me. The second Devi sees who I am she's going to lock me out or possibly kill me, and I'd rather not have either happen."
"You don't have to worry about that. I've already made you sick, and I could have killed you long ago if I'd wanted," replied the sweet voice.
"How comforting. And, hey, since when have I needed you?"
"Without me, you'd be delirious and running through Arkansas half- dead with her illusion at your side."
"Ah, yes; that." Though he was by no means ready or determined, Johnny stood up as purposefully as he could and marched towards her home.
Devi's apartment was on a smallish street near downtown lined with other homes. Things were relatively quiet, but the gasoline hamburger smell of the city was everywhere. Billboards were visible in all directions. Johnny passed looming, red-brick row-homes and cold, emotionless highrises. It was a route he could barely remember, from a long time ago. He didn't recognize the ominous buildings, how before they had blended in perfectly with the scenery. Of course, he was completely dazed then, he couldn't tell left from right. He had been with her. But now, he was awake, and he could see everything in all its disgusting, human glory. Walking at a brisk pace to avoid his surroundings, he could not see the grass, only the dry, cracked spaces in between it, not the ripe fruit of a fragrant cherry tree, only the rotting cadavers hanging limply from the branches.
Nny made it past the gauntlet unscathed. There was his prize, a beacon shining brightly through the crap surrounding it. Devi's apartment. It was a place where she existed, not in Johnny's dreams and nightmares, but in reality. He could hear faint voices from within, and he broke into a run, paying no heed to anything that might be trampled in his frantic sprint. Her voice unlocked something within him, and whatever had been in it had just been set free.
Just as he made it up the stairs and reached the door, it creaked open, spilling light into the darkened world. Johnny's face lit up. "Devi?" he whispered. The silhouette of a young woman reached Johnny's misty eyes, and he took a step towards her. She was standing in the light. Everything was blurry, and his heart turned around in his chest.
She opened her eyes and looked up at him. He could see a smile on her lips. "It's you, isn't it? You're really here?" Her voice was quieter, softer than usual, but it didn't matter to him. He took her hand, gently, and cleared his throat.
"Yes...yes I am. I'm here for you, Devi." Her smile widened, showing teeth. She nodded, turned her head back into the light.
"HEY DEVI!" she shrieked. The sound of her voice hurt Johnny's ears. It made him cringe. Something was wrong.
A second voice came from inside. "YEAH, WHAT IS IT?" Johnny croaked out a tiny response. "What's going on?" he asked, politely as he could manage.
The two didn't seem to be listening. "S'YOUR DATE!" answered the non- Devi that stood before Johnny.
"I'll be right there, Tenna!" While they were talking, Johnny peeked into the living room that lay beyond the screamy girl. Intricate, psychedelic paintings covered the walls, but the room was otherwise bare, save for some scant furniture. His eyes caught sight of a human form, curled up in a tiny ball on one of the chairs. And then he saw her. And he fainted.