Waiting
S+J+S+J+S+J+S+J Gater101
S+J+S+J+S+J+S+J
It's the waiting I hate. Every second passes like hours as I sit watching the silent Stargate, the portal that will bring him home, either alive or dead. Waiting, waiting, waiting.
Hammond comes into the control room and smiles at me sadly his eyes a mixture of composure and worry with a hint of regret shining in them. What's he's regretting I don't know but it's there.
"Why don't you go get some rest, Major? It could be a while before they get back. After all they have only been gone for an hour." He says as he stands at my side.
"I realise that, sir. I can't sleep. I slept before they left and can't fall over again." I smile at him just as sadly.
My father was - is- his best friend, they've known each other for years and have grown even closer since the Stargate Programme and Dad was implanted with a Tok'ra symbiote.
It's their fault he's in this situation; they are the reason why I am in such a state. I don't know if I will ever be able to trust the Tok'ra again after this, even though I know it's not their fault. First there was Jolinar then Jack/Kanan thing and now this. It will take a lot for me to respect them again.
I feel a slight pressure on my arm and turn back around and look at Hammond intently waiting for his lecture.
"I think you should at least go home, rest."
I shake my head negatively before he's even finished his sentence.
"No, sir. I'd rather stay here. Is there something I can do for you?"
Hammond looked indecisive then he smiled slightly realising that, yes, there was something I could do for him. I smiled at him politely, wondering what he wanted me to do.
"I have yet to inform Angela that Jack has been called on a mission, any chance you could do that for me?"
The smile on my face froze then fell. He wants me to call Jack's wife? Someone who completely and utterly hates me?
"Of course Sir. If you would just give me the contact number?" I say with a military preciseness that could bend Anubis sideways.
"I'm assuming that she is still at the reception. I'll get the number for you. If she isn't there just ask them where she went."
"Yessir." I nod and he walks away.
I stare out at the heart of the complex, at the reason why I am sitting here waiting.
I've been waiting a long time
For this moment to come
I'm destined
For anything...at all
Downtown lights will be shining
On me like a new diamond
Ring out under the midnight hour
No one can touch me now
And I can't turn my back
It's too late ready or not at all
"Major, I have that number for you. Would you like to use my office?" Hammond's voice sounds behind me snapping me out of my reverie.
I look back down at the Stargate before turning and taking the piece of paper from Hammond.
"Thank you, sir. I shan't be long."
Hammond's looks at me for a long second and I feel naked under his intense scrutiny then his eyes soften and he places a reassuring hand on my shoulder.
"It'll be okay." He pauses for a second and I smile at his overall knowledge on everything. "They'll find him." He smiles adding the last part on as an after thought.
I wander into Hammond's office and realise that in the thousands of times I have been here never have I been so nervous. I can practically feel the blood chugging through my veins, literally feel my heart pounding in my chest.
I slide into the soft leather of his chair and sigh at the smell of newness emanating from it; the old one was wearing thin around the edges. I pick up the black phone that is situated to the left of the Red Phone; the SGC's link to the president - can't I pick that one up instead?
When did it suddenly get so hot in here? I peel the soaked black T-shirt from my body and it falls back into place with an audible plop. Realising that the phone is still asking me to dial in the number.
I look at the piece of paper in front of me and notice with a small amount of annoyance that some of the words are smudged but not enough so I can't see them. I press the numbers into the phone and sit back as the line is connected and starts making that doot doot noise.
"Good evening this is Francis speaking how may I be of assistance?" A polite voice asked me from the other side of the line.
"I was wondering if the Angela Trungsten was still present at the reception." I said my voice sounding more confident than I felt.
"I'm sorry ma'am the Bride has already left the reception, she should be at her hotel. I could give you the number if you wish?"
I hear paper shuffle and realise I don't even need to speak and he is giving me the number.
He recites the number to me and I scribble it on a piece of yellow sticky paper.
"May I ask your name ma'am?" He asked a little belatedly.
"Yes." I reply.
There is a long silence and he realises I'm not giving my name. I hear him sigh as he realises his mistake.
"Well, good night ma'am." He sighs and the dead tone tells me that he has hung up.
Smiling brightly, feeling a little happier than I should I pick the phone back up and dial the number without hesitation because I know if I do I'll back out and I can't back out.
I hear the doot-doot tone again and look out through the starchart and find Hammond's watching me closely. I smile at him enthusiastically and turn away beginning to loose my nerve as the call is connected.
"Good evening, Linsay speaking may I take your name and message please?" A male voice asks and I sigh defeatedly knowing my plan isn't going to work this time.
"This is Major Carter, USAF. I'd like to speak with Miss Trungsten please." I say as politely and as confidently as possible in my situation.
"May I ask the reason why?" He asks a little peeved that I didn't tell him before.
"I'm not at liberty to say." I reply crisply using all my military training to stop my voice from shaking.
"I'll put you through." His voice has taken on a new edge and I roll my eyes. It must be the new generation I muse as I wait for the call to be answered.
"Hello?" She asks a little enthusiastically. "Jack?" I cringe at the cheeriness in her voice but continue none the less.
"Sorry, this is Major Carter from NORAD. I'm calling about Colonel O'Neill." I say and her voice comes back cold like ice.
"Sam." She says icily and I shiver involuntarily.
"Miss Trungsten-" I begin but am instantly cut off.
"Mrs O'Neill." She corrects.
I hesitate a grin forming on my face.
"Angela I'm calling to tell you that Colonel O'Neill won't be able to accompany you on your honeymoon. He has been called out on an important mission."
There is a long silence and if I didn't know better I'd say she hung up on me.
"He's gone to find your father hasn't he?"
Once again I grimace at the cold edge her voice has when she's talking to me. I wonder what she was thinking when I was dancing with him, when he was holding me closely...what she would think if she found out I slept with him.
"Yes he has. You may not appreciate this but my father is a valuable asset to our base and that of others."
"Oh but of course! And the fact that he is *your* father makes him even more important doesn't it?" She shouts at me down the phone.
"I'm sorry I don't know what you mean." I say after a few moments of shocked silence.
"Why are you not with them? Maybe your pregnant is that it?" She accuses and I blink several times before my brain registers what she's saying.
"What? No!" I squeal loudly and I spin around to see Hammond staring at me puzzled.
"Did Jack not let you go?" She says and I hear the smugness in her voice.
"As a matter of fact Colonel O'Neill didn't let me go for my own safety." I realise that this wasn't the direction this conversation was supposed to go in.
"Ah, of course. You're emotionally involved."
I sigh and nod even though she can't see me. I rub a hand through my hair then pull it down over my face barely restraining from groaning.
"Is Jack away yet? Or is he just getting you to do the dirty work?" She says her voice never melting.
"Colonel O'Neill left just over an hour ago." I grimace as I realise I walked right into that one.
"And this is you just letting me know! I have been waiting here for over five hours for him to at least *call* when really he can't." Her voice rises again and I pull the phone away from my ear before I even realise what I'm doing. Scoffing I pull it back to my ear just in time to hear the end of her tyrant. "- Little fantasy world!"
I pull back further into the chair wondering whose or what fantasy world she was talking about.
"Excuse me? I didn't quite catch that." I say my voice just above a whisper as my throat catches in my throat.
"You and Jack! You both live in this big fantasy world where everything is fine and dandy when everyone knows it isn't!" She repeats and for some strange reason I find myself breathing a sigh of relief.
"Angela-"
"That's Mrs O'Neill to you," she says dangerously and I decide to heed her warnings.
"As much as I'm enjoying this I do have other things to attend to so if you'll excuse me I'll concentrate on trying to bring my father back."
Without waiting for a response I hang up breathing deeply regretting my actions instantly.
"You handled that better than I'd at first expected." A familiar voice sounded behind me but when I turned there was no one there.
"God Daniel. What have I been doing?"
I dig my nails into the hard arm of the seat pushing myself up my body protesting wearily.
Leaving the office I nod to Hammond and continue on down to my lab where I find my laptop sitting ready to be used gazing at me.
"Fine! Okay! If you'll pass the time quickly that's enough for me."
I sit down and begin typing up a couple of reports of SG-1's latest missions.
Three hours later Janet wandered into my lab a small smile on her face.
"I thought I'd find you here." She says through a smile glancing over at my shoulder. "Been busy I see," I hear the smile in her voice and grin myself.
"Solitaire, keeps the mind busy." I grin falsely.
"That's why you were looking bored stiff when I walked in?" I nod grimly and look back at my screen. "What's wrong?"
What's wrong!? Where does she want me to start? Well for starters my father is missing, the man I love just got married, aforementioned male gone to find the aforementioned father. But that's not the beginning is it? Not really. There my mother and the day she died, causing that rift in my family.
Thinking about it, I remember I haven't called Mark to tell him Dad is missing. Oh yeah! I can imagine that! 'Oh by the way, Mark, Dad's missing probably dead you can't do anything cause where he is is classified.' Like that's going to go down well!
I lean back and wish the ground would swallow me up whole because Janet is looking at me pityingly.
"Sam, what's wrong?" She asks and leans across to touch my arm.
"Where do you want me to start?" I say grimly. "I had to call Angela." I say and lean back stretching.
Janet winces and looks away towards the now blank computer screen.
"She accused me of living in a fantasy world where everything was perfect."
"She's just jealous because you get to see O'Neill everyday." Janet says forcefully.
"But she gets to see him every night." I remind her.
"Sam...don't do this to yourself."
"He came to see me before he went away." I say letting my mind wander to the way he held me in his arms. So protective. He held me the way he holds is P-90; close to him and safe.
"Oh?" Janet says and leans forward.
I sigh regretting saying anything.
"He...we slept." I mutter.
"Sam! You didn't sleep with him did you!?"
I snap my head up and gawk at her as though she had grown two heads.
"What! No!" I say mimicking my words to Angela earlier. "No, we just...fell asleep. It was so hard to let him go. I told him, not in so many words but I told him."
There is a long silence then I feel Janet's arms around me and feel the burn of tears at the back of my eyes.
"Oh Sam, why do you do this to yourself?"
My body shakes violently as the sobs reverberate through me releasing the emotions from the past several hours.
A half hour later Janet leaves my office again to work on some biological samples SG-19 brought back from some planet.
I put my head on the desk and sigh.
Waiting, I hate the waiting.
I've been waiting a long time
For this moment to come
I'm destined
For anything...at all
Downtown lights will be shining
On me like a new diamond
Ring out under the midnight hour
No one can touch me now
And I can't turn my back
It's too late ready or not at all
I'm so much closer than
I have ever known...
Wake up!
S+J+S+J+S+J+S+J Gater101
S+J+S+J+S+J+S+J
It's the waiting I hate. Every second passes like hours as I sit watching the silent Stargate, the portal that will bring him home, either alive or dead. Waiting, waiting, waiting.
Hammond comes into the control room and smiles at me sadly his eyes a mixture of composure and worry with a hint of regret shining in them. What's he's regretting I don't know but it's there.
"Why don't you go get some rest, Major? It could be a while before they get back. After all they have only been gone for an hour." He says as he stands at my side.
"I realise that, sir. I can't sleep. I slept before they left and can't fall over again." I smile at him just as sadly.
My father was - is- his best friend, they've known each other for years and have grown even closer since the Stargate Programme and Dad was implanted with a Tok'ra symbiote.
It's their fault he's in this situation; they are the reason why I am in such a state. I don't know if I will ever be able to trust the Tok'ra again after this, even though I know it's not their fault. First there was Jolinar then Jack/Kanan thing and now this. It will take a lot for me to respect them again.
I feel a slight pressure on my arm and turn back around and look at Hammond intently waiting for his lecture.
"I think you should at least go home, rest."
I shake my head negatively before he's even finished his sentence.
"No, sir. I'd rather stay here. Is there something I can do for you?"
Hammond looked indecisive then he smiled slightly realising that, yes, there was something I could do for him. I smiled at him politely, wondering what he wanted me to do.
"I have yet to inform Angela that Jack has been called on a mission, any chance you could do that for me?"
The smile on my face froze then fell. He wants me to call Jack's wife? Someone who completely and utterly hates me?
"Of course Sir. If you would just give me the contact number?" I say with a military preciseness that could bend Anubis sideways.
"I'm assuming that she is still at the reception. I'll get the number for you. If she isn't there just ask them where she went."
"Yessir." I nod and he walks away.
I stare out at the heart of the complex, at the reason why I am sitting here waiting.
I've been waiting a long time
For this moment to come
I'm destined
For anything...at all
Downtown lights will be shining
On me like a new diamond
Ring out under the midnight hour
No one can touch me now
And I can't turn my back
It's too late ready or not at all
"Major, I have that number for you. Would you like to use my office?" Hammond's voice sounds behind me snapping me out of my reverie.
I look back down at the Stargate before turning and taking the piece of paper from Hammond.
"Thank you, sir. I shan't be long."
Hammond's looks at me for a long second and I feel naked under his intense scrutiny then his eyes soften and he places a reassuring hand on my shoulder.
"It'll be okay." He pauses for a second and I smile at his overall knowledge on everything. "They'll find him." He smiles adding the last part on as an after thought.
I wander into Hammond's office and realise that in the thousands of times I have been here never have I been so nervous. I can practically feel the blood chugging through my veins, literally feel my heart pounding in my chest.
I slide into the soft leather of his chair and sigh at the smell of newness emanating from it; the old one was wearing thin around the edges. I pick up the black phone that is situated to the left of the Red Phone; the SGC's link to the president - can't I pick that one up instead?
When did it suddenly get so hot in here? I peel the soaked black T-shirt from my body and it falls back into place with an audible plop. Realising that the phone is still asking me to dial in the number.
I look at the piece of paper in front of me and notice with a small amount of annoyance that some of the words are smudged but not enough so I can't see them. I press the numbers into the phone and sit back as the line is connected and starts making that doot doot noise.
"Good evening this is Francis speaking how may I be of assistance?" A polite voice asked me from the other side of the line.
"I was wondering if the Angela Trungsten was still present at the reception." I said my voice sounding more confident than I felt.
"I'm sorry ma'am the Bride has already left the reception, she should be at her hotel. I could give you the number if you wish?"
I hear paper shuffle and realise I don't even need to speak and he is giving me the number.
He recites the number to me and I scribble it on a piece of yellow sticky paper.
"May I ask your name ma'am?" He asked a little belatedly.
"Yes." I reply.
There is a long silence and he realises I'm not giving my name. I hear him sigh as he realises his mistake.
"Well, good night ma'am." He sighs and the dead tone tells me that he has hung up.
Smiling brightly, feeling a little happier than I should I pick the phone back up and dial the number without hesitation because I know if I do I'll back out and I can't back out.
I hear the doot-doot tone again and look out through the starchart and find Hammond's watching me closely. I smile at him enthusiastically and turn away beginning to loose my nerve as the call is connected.
"Good evening, Linsay speaking may I take your name and message please?" A male voice asks and I sigh defeatedly knowing my plan isn't going to work this time.
"This is Major Carter, USAF. I'd like to speak with Miss Trungsten please." I say as politely and as confidently as possible in my situation.
"May I ask the reason why?" He asks a little peeved that I didn't tell him before.
"I'm not at liberty to say." I reply crisply using all my military training to stop my voice from shaking.
"I'll put you through." His voice has taken on a new edge and I roll my eyes. It must be the new generation I muse as I wait for the call to be answered.
"Hello?" She asks a little enthusiastically. "Jack?" I cringe at the cheeriness in her voice but continue none the less.
"Sorry, this is Major Carter from NORAD. I'm calling about Colonel O'Neill." I say and her voice comes back cold like ice.
"Sam." She says icily and I shiver involuntarily.
"Miss Trungsten-" I begin but am instantly cut off.
"Mrs O'Neill." She corrects.
I hesitate a grin forming on my face.
"Angela I'm calling to tell you that Colonel O'Neill won't be able to accompany you on your honeymoon. He has been called out on an important mission."
There is a long silence and if I didn't know better I'd say she hung up on me.
"He's gone to find your father hasn't he?"
Once again I grimace at the cold edge her voice has when she's talking to me. I wonder what she was thinking when I was dancing with him, when he was holding me closely...what she would think if she found out I slept with him.
"Yes he has. You may not appreciate this but my father is a valuable asset to our base and that of others."
"Oh but of course! And the fact that he is *your* father makes him even more important doesn't it?" She shouts at me down the phone.
"I'm sorry I don't know what you mean." I say after a few moments of shocked silence.
"Why are you not with them? Maybe your pregnant is that it?" She accuses and I blink several times before my brain registers what she's saying.
"What? No!" I squeal loudly and I spin around to see Hammond staring at me puzzled.
"Did Jack not let you go?" She says and I hear the smugness in her voice.
"As a matter of fact Colonel O'Neill didn't let me go for my own safety." I realise that this wasn't the direction this conversation was supposed to go in.
"Ah, of course. You're emotionally involved."
I sigh and nod even though she can't see me. I rub a hand through my hair then pull it down over my face barely restraining from groaning.
"Is Jack away yet? Or is he just getting you to do the dirty work?" She says her voice never melting.
"Colonel O'Neill left just over an hour ago." I grimace as I realise I walked right into that one.
"And this is you just letting me know! I have been waiting here for over five hours for him to at least *call* when really he can't." Her voice rises again and I pull the phone away from my ear before I even realise what I'm doing. Scoffing I pull it back to my ear just in time to hear the end of her tyrant. "- Little fantasy world!"
I pull back further into the chair wondering whose or what fantasy world she was talking about.
"Excuse me? I didn't quite catch that." I say my voice just above a whisper as my throat catches in my throat.
"You and Jack! You both live in this big fantasy world where everything is fine and dandy when everyone knows it isn't!" She repeats and for some strange reason I find myself breathing a sigh of relief.
"Angela-"
"That's Mrs O'Neill to you," she says dangerously and I decide to heed her warnings.
"As much as I'm enjoying this I do have other things to attend to so if you'll excuse me I'll concentrate on trying to bring my father back."
Without waiting for a response I hang up breathing deeply regretting my actions instantly.
"You handled that better than I'd at first expected." A familiar voice sounded behind me but when I turned there was no one there.
"God Daniel. What have I been doing?"
I dig my nails into the hard arm of the seat pushing myself up my body protesting wearily.
Leaving the office I nod to Hammond and continue on down to my lab where I find my laptop sitting ready to be used gazing at me.
"Fine! Okay! If you'll pass the time quickly that's enough for me."
I sit down and begin typing up a couple of reports of SG-1's latest missions.
Three hours later Janet wandered into my lab a small smile on her face.
"I thought I'd find you here." She says through a smile glancing over at my shoulder. "Been busy I see," I hear the smile in her voice and grin myself.
"Solitaire, keeps the mind busy." I grin falsely.
"That's why you were looking bored stiff when I walked in?" I nod grimly and look back at my screen. "What's wrong?"
What's wrong!? Where does she want me to start? Well for starters my father is missing, the man I love just got married, aforementioned male gone to find the aforementioned father. But that's not the beginning is it? Not really. There my mother and the day she died, causing that rift in my family.
Thinking about it, I remember I haven't called Mark to tell him Dad is missing. Oh yeah! I can imagine that! 'Oh by the way, Mark, Dad's missing probably dead you can't do anything cause where he is is classified.' Like that's going to go down well!
I lean back and wish the ground would swallow me up whole because Janet is looking at me pityingly.
"Sam, what's wrong?" She asks and leans across to touch my arm.
"Where do you want me to start?" I say grimly. "I had to call Angela." I say and lean back stretching.
Janet winces and looks away towards the now blank computer screen.
"She accused me of living in a fantasy world where everything was perfect."
"She's just jealous because you get to see O'Neill everyday." Janet says forcefully.
"But she gets to see him every night." I remind her.
"Sam...don't do this to yourself."
"He came to see me before he went away." I say letting my mind wander to the way he held me in his arms. So protective. He held me the way he holds is P-90; close to him and safe.
"Oh?" Janet says and leans forward.
I sigh regretting saying anything.
"He...we slept." I mutter.
"Sam! You didn't sleep with him did you!?"
I snap my head up and gawk at her as though she had grown two heads.
"What! No!" I say mimicking my words to Angela earlier. "No, we just...fell asleep. It was so hard to let him go. I told him, not in so many words but I told him."
There is a long silence then I feel Janet's arms around me and feel the burn of tears at the back of my eyes.
"Oh Sam, why do you do this to yourself?"
My body shakes violently as the sobs reverberate through me releasing the emotions from the past several hours.
A half hour later Janet leaves my office again to work on some biological samples SG-19 brought back from some planet.
I put my head on the desk and sigh.
Waiting, I hate the waiting.
I've been waiting a long time
For this moment to come
I'm destined
For anything...at all
Downtown lights will be shining
On me like a new diamond
Ring out under the midnight hour
No one can touch me now
And I can't turn my back
It's too late ready or not at all
I'm so much closer than
I have ever known...
Wake up!