Miss you

S+J+S+J+S+J+S+J+S

Gater101

S+J+S+J+S+J+S+J+S

The world around me was dark except for the faint glow creeping under the cracks in the door. The room was cold and empty feeling but it was home for tonight. The pillow had a strange unknown smell that seemed achingly familiar but my mind refused to acknowledge what it is.

General Hammond had sent me to my quarters a few hours ago ordering me to get some sleep or he would have me escorted home. Janet had given me a sedative but that had worn off an hour or so ago. Ever since I noticed the smell from the sheets on the bed my mind had refused to let me sleep but also refused to acknowledge what the smell was. It seemed to like taunting me, almost telling me the name then chasing it away whenever I would get close to identifying it.

God I miss Jack so much…that's it! That's the smell! Remnant of his aftershave and the smell that is distinctly *him* only worn away a little by time. He's half way across the galaxy and still he manages to keep me awake.

I can't sleep, I just can't breathe

When your shadow is all over me baby

I roll onto my back and pull the cover under my chin and slide further into its warmth hoping to get at least a few hours sleep in these impossible circumstances.

I wonder if they have dad yet or if they had been captured as well. I wish Daniel were here to tell me everything is going to be okay. Don't get me wrong Janet's a great friend but she just isn't Daniel. I can't imagine how she must be feeling since Daniel took his leave, I think she took it worst.

Sighing I throw the covers off my body and swing my legs over the edge of the bed realising my senses won't allow me to get anymore sleep. I look down at my sleeping clothes and decide to change into clean BDU's before going to see Hammond.

I saunter over to the cupboard and pull out a clean shirt and T-shirt, then move to a drawer to retrieve trousers that don't smell like Jack. Pulling them on I look into the mirror and notice my tear stained face and decide to wash my face. So I move into the chilly bathroom and splash some ice cold water on my face then pull my hands through my hair. It feels greasy and limp but thankfully the length of it stopped it from being noticeable.

I drag my feet along the floor as I make my way to the door and slowly I pull it open letting it creak loudly. The airman Janet posted outside my door is asleep and looks as though he has been for some time. I smother a smile and inch past him careful not to bump him in the cramped corridor. When I'm a safe distance away from him I pick up speed ad jog down to my lab where I know I can get some peace.

I turn the corner and straight into my lab and from the deep bowels within the SGC the klaxon's sound. The red light illuminates the walls and the siren blare over the speakers, shortly followed by the on-duty sergeant shouting for all defence teams to the gateroom.

I rush down the corridor along with the mass of Airmen who are ready for almost anything. I cut through them as I reach the opening for the control room and jump up the steps two at a time. Hammond is standing behind the sergeant on the chair an uneasy look on his face. His eyebrows are knitted together and his lips are pressed firmly in place. His eyes are the give away, they always have been, and he's worried. He steps back and motions towards the screen once he notices me. I look at the screen and notice with undisguised horror the people begging on the other side of the 'Gate claiming that they lost the GDO.

The figure that is Jonas moved away and Hammond ordered the iris open. I close my eyes and take a deep breath praying that we have it open in time. A few seconds drag along and then finally the familiar thud of boots on the metal ramp fills my ears. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven…

I wait for the eighth but there is none. Seven footsteps. Seven people. That's how many people left. They don't have my father.

I open my eyes and look down my eyes growing wide when I notice my father standing at the bottom of the ramp staring up at the control room, at me. My eyes search the other faces but he isn't there. Jack isn't there. In the background the Gate snaps shut confirming my fears. Jack didn't come back.

I follow Hammond as he runs from the room and down to the Gateroom in a rush to find out what happened. He didn't come back. How could he not have come back?

Feeling nauseous and slightly off balance I rush into the gateroom and stumble over Jonas who has collapsed to the ground in a massive exhausted heap and land in the arms of my father.

He wraps his arms tightly around me and kisses my hair. Burying my head in his shoulder I mumble incomprehensible words about him being back.

"Sam," he pushes me away from him and wipes away some stray tears. "I'm so sorry." Tears make their way down both our faces ad he pulls me to him, crushing my body to his.

I want to ask him what the hell happened. I want to know what sort of torture he went through…I want to know why Jack didn't come back.

For the second time in almost as many days I allow myself to be overcome by wells of tears and sob uncontrollably into my father's shoulder. His grip on me loosens and he pulls back again only to pull me back into a death grip.

"Jacob!" Hammond's voice breaks through the barrier we have unconsciously created together and we both pull back simultaneously. "Jacob," Hammond makes his way through the swarms of people in the gateroom – AF's, medical's, everyone. "What happened? Where is Colonel O'Neill?"

Dad looks at me and then to Hammond a grave look appearing on his face.

"I don't think this is the place, the briefing room? We'll de-brief you there." He says stoically and moves away towards Jonas and Teal'c.

Hammond looks at me a knowing look in his eyes that I know is reflected in my own. It can't be good. If he doesn't want to tell us here then it can't be good. I glance over to where he stands talking with Jonas and Teal'c and Jonas sends me a sad smile and a half wave, whereas Teal'c simply nods his head and moves away following my father who won't even look at me.

Definitely a bad thing.

I can't sleep, I just can't breathe

When your shadow is all over me baby

Don't wanna be a fool in your eyes

'Cause what we had was built on lies

And when our love seems to fade away

Listen to me here what I say

I don't wanna feel the way that I do

I just wanna be right here with you

I don't wanna see, see us apart

I just wanna say it straight from the heart

What would it take, for you to see

To make you understand that I'll always believe

You and I can make it through

And I still know I can't get over you

Author's notes: Sorry this chapter is so short! The next part will be better and fuller and longer! Believe me! I have half of it written already! And guess what!!!!! Clarins (my muse) is back! Well most of him anyway! The part (the purple fire part) that makes me right long pieces is still developing through the letterbox! Woohoo!