Title: Finding Comfort
Author: Erika
Spoilers: ITSOTG Parts I and II
Note: I know Zoey isn't typically used for fics, but I thought it would be interesting to see what she was going through after the events of Rosslyn. This chapter also has one-on-one time with Josh and Charlie. I've suddenly had a case of writer's block, so if the chapter is crappy, I apologize.
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters that have appeared on The West Wing, though owning Bradley Whitford/Josh Lyman is something I really wouldn't mind.

"Hey, Charlie," Zoey greeted her boyfriend, who was sitting at his desk. He looked up from the computer.
"Zoey!" he exclaimed, standing. "What are you doing here?"
She shrugged. "I just came from seeing Josh."
Charlie lowered his eyes. "Oh, yeah?"
"Yeah."
Charlie slowly nodded, realizing where the conversation was headed. "Zoey..."
"Why haven't you gone to see him?" she demanded.
"Do we have to do this now?"
"If we don't do it now, we won't do it at all."
"Exactly."
"Charlie!"
"What do you want me to say?"
Zoey sighed. "I don't know. You're right, we shouldn't do this now."
"Thank you."
"Have you had lunch yet?"
It was Charlie's turn to let out a sigh. "Half an hour."
"I'll meet at the cafe down the street, okay?"
"Yeah, okay."

Thirty Minutes Later

Zoey kept her eyes on Charlie while he ordered a coffee. When he was finished, he looked back at her. After a moment of fidgeting, he gave up on the staring contest.
"What do you want from me, Zoey?"
"You know what I want."
"No, I don't!"
"Josh has been out of the hospital for three weeks," she said, leaning closer to him.
"I know, that's good."
"I don't understand, Charlie. I thought you and Josh were friends."
"We are friends."
Zoey put her hand over his. "Then why won't you see him?"
"It's not that simple."
"You feel guilty, is that it?" Charlie refused to meet her gaze. "I felt guilty, too. What happened at Rosslyn was wrong. They were shooting at us, and..."
"They weren't shooting at 'us,' Zoey!" Charlie exploded, careful to keep his voice down. "They were shooting at me! They wanted me dead!"
"Charlie," Zoey continued calmly, "I talked to C.J. awhile ago, before I got the courage to see Josh. She helped me realize that Virginia White Pride isn't just about destroying interracial relationships. They were just as happy to see Josh get hurt as they would have been if you did. They hate Jewish people just as much as they hate black people. And you know that."
"It doesn't change anything. They were still aiming for me."
Zoey paused. "Josh feels guilty about the shooting, you know."
Charlie's head snapped up in shock. "What? That doesn't make sense!"
"I know, right? I mean, he was the one who almost died, he shouldn't..." She took a moment to compose herself. "Josh blames himself for everything, Charlie. I don't know how he does it, but one of these days I'm going to figure it out."
"Did he say why?"
"Well, he never actually said he felt guilty in the first place. But if you hear his voice when he talks about it...You can tell."
Charlie was silent for a moment. "I'm afraid of the way he'll look at me," he admitted. "I'm afraid of what he'll think."
"He cares about you, Charlie, believe me. He's been asking for you."
"He has?"
Zoey nodded. "And I can tell you right now that if you don't see him before he comes back to work, he'll think you don't care."
"Okay."
"Okay...you'll go?"
"I'll go."
"Promise?"
"I promise."
Zoey smiled proudly and squeezed Charlie's hand. "Good."

Evening

Charlie knocked nervously on Josh's apartment door. He had nearly backed out of his promise to Zoey, but her words kept echoing in his head. The door opened to reveal a smiling Donna, holding a beer in one hand.
"Hi, Charlie!" she exclaimed.
"Hello, Donna," he replied.
"Come on in," she said, opening the door wider. He complied and shuffled into the room. "Josh will be so happy to see you."
Charlie didn't reply to her last comment and followed her into Josh's living room, where the Deputy lay on his couch. He looked up as they walked into the room.
"Charlie?" he called, as if he wasn't sure it was really the President's aide.
Charlie put on a fake smile and waved. "Hi, Josh."
"Hey," Josh replied, sitting up slowly. He sounded tired, Charlie noticed.
"How are you?" Charlie asked.
Josh patted the sofa cushion next to him, beckoning Charlie to sit, which the young man did. "I'm doing good."
"Charlie, do you want a drink or something?" Donna asked.
"No, I'm fine, thank you."
"Okay." Donna pressed her hand against Josh's cheek, then brushed some of his wild hair aside. "I'll be in the guest room if you need anything."
"'Kay." Donna nodded and left the room. Josh turned back to Charlie. "So how've you been?"
"Me?" Charlie asked in surprise. "I'm fine."
"That's good. And the President?"
"He's been telling me stories about Shenandoah," Charlie answered.
Josh chuckled. "I've been there. It'll get worse, don't worry."
"Good to know." Charlie bit his lip. "So, uh, Donna's been staying here?"
Josh shrugged. "She and Sam switch every other night. They had an argument over who would stay with me, and they finally agreed to switch off."
Charlie laughed. "I'm not surprised."
"You know, I'm really not either."
"Josh..." Charlie started, trailing off.
"Is something wrong?"
"I spoke to Zoey today."
"Okay."
"She told me that you feel guilty about what happened at Rosslyn." Josh's friendly smile faded, and Charlie was afraid he had crossed a line. "I'm sorry, if that's going too far, I..."
"Don't worry about it," Josh insisted. He shrugged again. "Everybody feels guilty about Rosslyn, Charlie."
"I don't understand why they would."
"You want to hear something funny?"
"What?"
"Nobody understands why you feel guilty about it, either."
Charlie furrowed his brow. "They were shooting at me."
"Yes."
"It's my fault."
"That you're skin is a different color?" Josh challenged. Charlie opened his mouth to speak, but couldn't find anything to say. "Charlie, I've had this talk with a lot of people. I don't know how well it'll work with you, but...It's not your fault that the shooting happened. I know you probably can't comprehend that right now, but eventually, you'll get it. It's not your fault that three bigoted teenagers decided that you and Zoey weren't right for each other. It's not Donna's fault she wasn't at Rosslyn. It's not C.J.'s fault that she didn't get hit. It's not Sam or Toby or Leo's fault that they weren't close enough to me to..." Josh hesitated. "Just...It's not your fault, okay?"
"Have you convinced yourself of that yet?"
"Have you?"
"Not really."
"I didn't think so."
"You're good at misdirection."
"It's a gift."
"So what exactly is it that makes you feel guilty?"
"You blame yourself because Virginia White Pride targeted you and Zoey. Let's get to the root of it all: I hired you."
"But--"
"I hired you," Josh continued, overriding Charlie, "and I got you into all of this crap."
A short silence overcame the room. "Do you regret it?" Charlie asked.
"Regret what?"
"Hiring me."
Josh widened his eyes. "No!" he said, almost as if he was admonishing the younger man. "Charlie, no, of course I don't regret hiring you!"
"What if you're right? If you hadn't hired me, the shooting may not have happened, and you wouldn't have gotten hurt."
"So you're blaming me?" Josh asked, a hint of amusement evident in his tone.
Charlie gave him a good-natured glare. "No, of course not."
"Do you ever regret taking the job?"
"There isn't a day that goes by," Charlie said sincerely, "that I'm not entirely grateful to you for giving it to me."
Josh smiled. "I'm glad I finally did something right."
"What about you? Do you ever wish you had chosen a different career?"
Josh stared off into space, looking thoughtful. "You would think so, wouldn't you? I used to work for Vice President Hoynes back when he was running, did you know that?"
Charlie raised his eyebrows in surprise. "No, I didn't. Why'd you leave his campaign?"
"I went to New Hampshire," Josh answered, smiling at the memory. "Leo came to me and asked me to go to New Hampshire."
"What was in New Hampshire?"
"President Barlet. Or Governor Bartlet, at the time. I watched him give this amazing speech, Charlie. You think he's good? You should have seen him that night. I knew he was the real thing."
"And Hoynes?"
"I don't know," Josh replied. "Hoynes...I was trapped when I was working for him. It just didn't feel...right, I guess. My father was a lawyer, and he died the day the President won the Primaries."
"I didn't know, I'm sorry."
Josh nodded. "The thing is, Charlie, my dad would have been so proud if he had known we won. So proud. Politics is what I'm good at. It's my life. If I didn't have this, I wouldn't have anything."
"I'm sure you'd get along just fine," Charlie said, giving Josh a smile.
Josh rolled his eyes, but then became serious again. "Even after what happened at Rosslyn, I have no regrets about this job. If I had to go through the shooting over again...Well, I probably wouldn't, but if it meant I could protect the President, I'd do anything."
"You're a really good guy, Josh," Charlie said, looking at Josh with a newfound respect.
Josh let his dimples show. "You're not so bad yourself."
"I'm glad we had this talk," Charlie said truthfully.
"I'm glad you finally got the balls to come over," Josh joked. Charlie blushed, but gave the older man a smile. "Charlie?"
"Yeah?"
"It's 8 o'clock on a Friday evening. Don't you have anything else to do?"
"No, not really."
"Charlie?"
"Yeah?"
"That was actually my polite way of saying I'm getting tired, and I want to sleep."
"Oh! Right!" Charlie exclaimed, flustered. He quickly stood up and looked down at an amused Josh. "Do you, uh...need me to..."
"I can tuck myself in," Josh assured. "But thank you for asking."
"Okay," Charlie replied. "Thank you again, for everything."
"No problem. Are you okay showing yourself out?"
"Yeah, I'm good." He paused. "Is it alright if I come by tomorrow?"
Josh grinned. "That'd be great. I'll be looking forward to it."
Charlie nodded in agreement. "I'll see you then."
"Good night, Charlie."
"'Night," Charlie called over his shoulder, walking toward the door.
"Bye, Charlie!" Donna yelled from her room.
Charlie smiled to himself. "Bye," he called back as he let himself out. He stood outside the apartment for a moment and took a breath. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He glanced at his watch. It was, in fact, 8 o'clock on Friday night. He wondered what Zoey was doing and whether he could join her.

To Be Continued