My Immortal

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Gater101

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I turn towards the voice and see an overweight man in a police uniform. His hair is wispy around the edges and his large belly hangs over his utility belt.

"This is my house, it should be me asking such questions," I said through a false smile.

The man looked closely at my face and took a step forward.

"Miss Carter? Are you Miss Carter?" He asked suddenly throwing his hand towards me and gripped mine and shook violently.

"Yes, that's me" I muttered uncomfortably, trying unsuccessfully to pry my hand from his grip.

Realising I was uncomfortable with his latest gesture the man loosened his grip and my hand fell limply to my side. My hand was now wet from sweat passed on from the man.

"Detective Larry Holmes," he said by way of introduction. "We tried contacting you at your stated place of work but…well we couldn't reach you. This is your house now Miss Carter burnt to a crisp. We really shouldn't be here, if you would like to step outside?" The burly man asked but placed a hand on my waist ushering me out.

"Pardon me, Sir, but why are *you* in my house? Why are you hanging around my house?" I asked as I stepped over pieces of burnt carpet and passed the large oak bookcase where I had kept all my journals.

Detective Holmes smiled slightly and shook his head.

"This has been my post for the past few days, watching out for your return, I was parked just down from your drive I'm surprised you didn't see me," he continued on answering more than the question I had asked.

Outside the rain still hadn't let up and I hunched my shoulders in order to let the rain run off them instead of under the thin T-shirt I was wearing. My skin was moist from the falling drops and my hair was plastered against my scalp and I could imagine what my face would look like with little rivers trickling down it.

"How did the fire start? When?" I asked suddenly, not giving a second thought to the rain that was tumbling from the sky.

"Well… it was a few days ago miss, twenty second November – yes that's the one. Yes, the twenty second. Four days ago. We've been trying to contact you since then. We tried the base where you work – no one had heard of you. We tried your father's house – no answer, your brother had no clue where you could be." He smiled sadly at me when I flinched at his use of the word 'brother'.

I hated lying to Mark about my job but he would never know what it was like, never understand why I did what I did.

"How did it start?" I ask again.

He swallowed slightly and then looked at the ground.

"Someone out a petrol bomb through your letter box, a kid probably but it caused a lot of destruction as you can see. We'll have to go down to the station to do the paperwork."

I nodded and asked if I could take my own car down.

"Yeah, sure, see ya there in about fifteen?"

I nodded and moved towards my car.

A petrol bomb. A kid. An Angela? To me that seemed a more plausible idea. Wasn't that the day after she threatened me?

I slid into the driver seat and picked up the in-car telephone and dialled the base number and asked to speak to Janet on the infirmary.

"Janet," I said when she picked up a few minutes later. "Something's happened, my house it was on fire and it's…destroyed."

There was a long pause then an outburst of breath.

"Sam I think you better get back here ASAP, there's been a message… It's about Colonel O'Neill-"

"What!?" I exclaimed and yanked the seatbelt around my body and slammed the car into gear and sped out of my drive.

"Sam slow down! I can hear the tyres screeching from here! I don't need you in here incapable of doing any work as well!" Janet yelled and I eased off on the accelerator.

"What do you mean 'as well'?" I asked my breath catching in my throat as I flung the car around a corner and I could only hope it was still on four wheels as I did so.

I sped down the street and barely noticed the lights changing in my favour – not that I would have stopped anyway. My blood was rushing through my veins and I could feel the bump-bump of my heart in my chest. It was beating to quickly that it seemed merely to be vibrating instead of beating at a steady pace. My knuckles were white as they gripped tightly onto the steering wheel.

I don't know what was making me madder: the fact that my house was a mere shell; or the fact that the time I go off base is when we get a message about Jack. Both were making me angry but which was driving me this fast? Which was making me put my foot down harder on the pedal?

Jack.

"…Jonas hurt himself in the gym… Sam are you listening to me?" Janet's voice breaks into my reverie and I nod even though she cannot see me.

"I'll be at the base in ten minutes," I said and hung up.

I wonder what the message could be. Not just the message from Jack but also the message that came with my house fire. Surely it wasn't Angela, surely she would not be as shallow as to do something like this.

I speed down to the base and am there in less than ten minutes. The guard seems to be taking forever clearing my car and me and his movements are slow and calculated. I feel like reaching out and throttling him but instead I keep my cool as he tells me I have been cleared and opens the gates and allows me passage.

I drive according to the speed limit and pull into the same space my car was in before I left the base. The rain has gotten heavier and I quickly fling the door open and rush out towards the door that will take me down not locking the door of my car. By the time I reach the door I am soaked to the bone and I peel the T-shirt from my chest as the elevator takes me down.

The car seems to be stopped at every floor and people enter and people leave, but none are on the same journey as me… none say hi or acknowledge my presence. Instead the glance quickly at me and send sympathetic looks at the floor – not to me. Why are they being sympathetic? What was included in the message from Jack or whoever is keeping Jack prisoner?

Finally the car arrives at sub-level28 and I rush out from it and down the corridor towards the control room. When I enter a dead silence falls over the occupants of the room. Even General Hammond says nothing to me.

"What?" I ask and look frantically around the room, to Lt. Simmons and then to another computer technician who looks away.

Behind me General Hammond clears his throat and nods at Simmons who turns towards the computer screen and types in a few commands. After a few seconds an image appears on the screens around the room.

Anubis.

"Tau'ri, if I am not mistaken this human…" the picture moves to an image of an unconscious Jack, "…is of your world. Colonel O'Neill I believe. I shall not lie to you, he is strong and has not yet told me how to penetrate the iris that covers your Stargate but he shall. I have very persuasive methods of torture," his tinny voice echoes around the silent room.

"Like hell…" hushed moan comes form somewhere behind Anubis followed by a low groan as the speaker is struck my one of Anubis' Jaffa.

"O'Neill wishes to pass on a message to…" Anubis' face disappears then returns, "…Major Carter: Never give up on me." An evil laugh resonates then the screen goes blank.

I stand still for a few moments until I feel tears well in my eyes. I turn and flee from the room. I make for my quarters and when I reach them I fumble with the door handle until a steady hand reaches down and covers mine.

"MajorCarter, I am sorry," Teal'c announces and opens my door for me.

Teardrops come as waterfalls on my face and I collapse onto the floor in a messy heap. My body shakes violently like a house in the middle of a tornado storm my shoulders vibrate against the floor and my head comes close to my chest. I feel Teal'c's presence behind me but I can't bring myself to stop the flow of emotions.

After what seems like an eternity the tears no longer come and I turn onto my back. This room… It was this room where we last really spoke, and I cry again.

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Turning over to get out the bed I freeze as I come face-to-face with one asleep Jack O'Neill. I glance at my waist and notice his arms wrapped tightly around me, a contented smile on his face.

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I feel Teal'c wrap his arms around my waist and feel myself being lifted up from the floor and placed gently on the bed.

"Rest MajorCarter, I shall converse with you in the morning." Teal'c leaves before I can even reply.

I roll over and my senses are filled once again by Jack. The smell I had awoken to a few days before, the smell I need.

I'm scared that I won't be able to help him. That I won't find him and that I won't see him again. Those thoughts are the ones that make me cry harder; no longer was he mine. I had to bring him home for someone else.

I'm so tired of being here

Suppressed by all my childish fears

And if you have to leave

I wish that you would just leave

'Cause your presence still lingers here

And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

And I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have me

All of me

You used to captivate me

By you're resonating light

Now I'm bound by the life you've left behind

Your face it hurts

My once pleasant dreams

Your voice it chased away

All the sanity in me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone

But though you're still with me

I've been alone all along...