He glanced at the clock: 4.56. He sighed and turned onto his left side, his right side numb from lying on it too long. Angela had stormed out of the house that they now shared after they'd had a rather heated…discussion and had not yet come back.
His mind was riling through each and every event of the past few months. Being trapped on the planet had haunted him more than anything else. Seeing them torture Sam had made him almost tell them what it was that they wanted to know but then he realised that it couldn't have been her: she was at home looking for him, not stuck on some godforsaken planet along side him. But what he knew didn't make it any easier to watch. It almost killed him. He knew that if it hadn't been for Daniel then he would not have been lying in bed at that very moment. Then again, maybe that wasn't such a good thing that Daniel had been there.
That night in the infirmary with Sam… he could not remember the last time he had spoken so openly about anything but he enjoyed it. He liked the feel of her lips against his. The way that she seemed to not care, just for that split second he felt… complete.
He turned again and winced at the pain his sudden movements had caused his healing wound on his side. He'd neglected to tell Sam about his injury from when he had been on the planet. General Hammond had objected claiming that the junior officer should know of all her senior officers injuries, should anything go wrong. But that would only make her worry, Jack rationalised and Hammond had conceded. He knew she blamed herself for what had happened to him – even though none of them would ever fully know; there were some things that he just couldn't share.
He thought of Sam without a conscious feeling of guilt towards Angela. He loved her, yes, but there was absolutely no way he could ever be in love with her. Not now. Not after threatening Sam's life if he chose to leave her. He felt like the battered wife who was too afraid to leave her husband because she feared what he would do to her and that if he stayed everything would be all right because Angela had promised not to do it again. And he believed her. But he still loved Sam. He still wanted to be with Sam.
He groaned and threw his legs over the bed and dropped his head into his hands.
Who was he kidding? He didn't love Angela. He down right despised the woman. He had loved her before, enough to marry her but it was only after the wedding that he realised just how vindictive she really was. After the night out he had dragged Carter along to, Angela had lain in bed beside him with her head on his shoulder and whispered:
"If you leave me for her, you won't have a her to go to."
She had then proceeded to attempt to make love to him but he had pushed her off and slept on the sofa in the lounge.
He knew then that there was no way he could leave Angela for Sam and that there was no way he could ever explain to Sam just why he couldn't leave Angela.
There was a click from somewhere downstairs but Jack didn't move. There were footsteps on the stair but Jack didn't move. There was another click then a dip on the bed but Jack didn't move. Angela placed a gentle kiss on his cheek but Jack didn't move.
"I hope I didn't make to much noise and wake you, darling." She started to then place butterfly kisses across his chest but Jack didn't move. "Fine, have it your way." The romantic seduction that had been so clearly displayed in her voice before was replaced with a bitter tone.
She stormed off into the en-suite bathroom and slammed the door. Jack moved.
He rushed over to the dresser drawer and pulled out a tee-shirt and threw it on. He left the room silently, hearing the rush of water of the shower from the other room. He thundered down the steps, knowing that Angela would not hear him over the cascade of water that was falling around her ears. He grabbed his leather jacket and as he walked out the door he grabbed his car keys, which were always hanging at the ready on the key-holder just to the left of the main doorway of the house.
Outside, the rain was pouring down around him as he rushed to the car.
He started the engine and glanced at the clock: 5.16 am.
I feel so alone
again
I know that I need you
To help me make it through the night
And I pray that you believe in me
You gave me my strength
To face another day alone
And I need you now my friend
More than you know yah
When will we meet again
Cause I can't let go of you
This world brings me down again
I know that I need you
To help me make it through the night
And I know that you're the one for me
You gave me my strength to face another day alone
And I need you now my friend
More than you know yah
When will we meet again
Cause I can't let go I can't let go
As time passes by I find
Things never seem to change
When I feel alone
You bring me back to you
And I need you now my friend
More than you know yah
When will we meet again
Cause I can't let go of you
No I cant let go