Starcross'd: part 3 (three): GIBBOUS
By:Fala Reflects The Madness Within Tzipori
Written:Summer, 2004
Fandom:Harry Potter
Rating:PG-13
Genre:Romance, Drama, Angst, Humour
Pairing(s):Sirius/Remus, James/Lily
Warnings:slash, strife, a certain fetish of mine making an appearance, smarmy James (well, smarmier than usual), manky two-week old laundry, gratuitous snogging, and a very, VERY assertive Lily.
Plot:The cat is really out of the bag this time, and Sirius throws the towel in. Quite literally, in fact. Remus is out, Sirius and James are egotistical, Lily is comparable to a drill sergeant and Peter is most definitely NOT fat. Really.
Spoilers:None, I do not think . . .
Dedications/Thanks:HUGE thanks to Carlea, über-talented talented writer and grammar-Nazi extraordinaire for beta-ing all ninety seven pages of this shite. Thanks so much, love. You so totally rool.
Disclaimers:The characters in this story belong to J.K. Rowling. I'll return them before their warranty's spent. Osgood Klee belongs to Carlea (even if I gave him his last name :P) and I have borrowed him, with her permission, from her fic, In Late May.
Other comments/schtuff:n/a
After lunch, the four headed off to History of Magic. Scarcely three minutes had passed since they'd sat down when they began to doze. Sirius was the first to show signs of surrender, but it didn't take long for Remus to begin nodding off as well.
Halfway through the lesson, somewhere in the tedium of Professor Binns's monotonous drone, Remus heard him mention the corner of Fenris and Ulf. This stirred a hint of comprehension in the smog of boredom that had blanketed Remus's mind. He straightened sharply in his seat, making Sirius look up from the picture he'd been absentmindedly doodling.
Fenris was the name of a road in Hogsmeade that met with Ulf street at an intersection. Remus knew this, and he knew the history of the corner where they met.
And can anyone tell me the significance of this particular area with relevance to fairly recent history? Professor Binns droned. And since this is a good stopping place for today, if anyone can tell me, I will end the lesson here and dismiss the class early. Several students perked to attentiveness at that, but the exchange of searching looks between them revealed that they did not have the answer. Remus shifted uncomfortably as Sirius shot him the same questioning look.
When no one showed any sign of knowing the answer, Remus took a deep breath and timidly raised his hand. Professor Binns acknowledged him with a lazy nod. Mr. Lupin?
Remus spoke slowly and clearly. The corner of Fenris and Ulf is where rioters gathered and marched for werewolves' rights in 1961.
Correct, Mr. Lupin. Five points to Gryffindor, Professor Binns said greyly, Class dismissed.
As he put his books in his satchel, Remus received several friendly pats on the back and words of thanks from his fellow classmates en route to the door. James ruffled his hair and Peter gibbered some compliment or another. Sirius clapped him round the shoulders and said Good one, mate! as they left class ten minutes early. We've got time for a round of Exploding Snap before Charms, he offered, grinning boyishly. How about it, Rem?
A glowing joy he hadn't felt in what seemed an eternity was swelling within Remus and he couldn't help but grin in return.
Sorry . . . Peter's normally small, mousy voice sounded much larger and almost willowy in the black void of the tunnel.
That's the third time, you git! Soon my heel won't have any skin left for you to step on! Sirius's own naturally robust voice was also magnified and made Peter wince in the darkness.
I said I'm sorry. I can't see a thing in this tunnel.
Amazing, all this was built just for you, James commented to Remus, whom he could not see. He gathered the Invisibility Cloak in his arms so it wouldn't drag on the ground. And that definitely explains that Whomping Willow.
Remus nodded, only to realise that James couldn't see him doing it. Dumbledore was appointed Headmaster last year, right? Well, the Headmaster before him told my parents that there was no way a werewolf ever could come to Hogwarts. But when Dumbledore got the job, he sent an owl to my parents. He said that as long as we took some precautions and kept it a secret, there was no reason why I shouldn't be able to come to school. So, he had this tunnel dug, planted the Willow at the entrance so other people couldn't get into it and set the Shack up for me, and that's basically it.
I didn't want to be the only fourteen-year-old first year, so he arranged with the professors to tutor me over the next year, Remus continued. It was pretty hard because I had to learn three years' worth of magic in less than one year. I had a different subject and professor each day of the week for seven hours every day except Sundays. I had it all through the summer, too.
So that's where you get your impeccable work ethic, Sirius commented from somewhere behind him, then groaned. How long is this tunnel anyway?
It's not terribly long, came Remus's answer from somewhere up ahead. His voice bounded along the tunnel walls like a puppy along a fence. It's on the outskirts of Hogsmeade Village closest to the school. It usually takes me about five minutes to get there, so we should be there soon.
Sorry, James . . .
Sirius growled, We're never going to get anywhere if you people don't pick up your damn feet!
The conversation petered out as they neared their destination.
When they arrived, Remus waited till they had all come through the door before entering and shutting it behind him.
They were greeted by a dark room, scarcely a shade paler than the blackness in the tunnel. Weak whisps of light from the moon strained feebly through the cracks in the boarded-up windows. This did precious little to illuminate their surroundings, but the three newcomers could make out the shapes of a few pieces of furniture. Remus didn't need to see them, for he already knew they were there. He also knew that several of them had been upended. He was the one who had done it.
Remus heard Sirius break off from the group. He could always recognise Sirius's footfalls because he had a very distinctive walk involving long, proud strides and steps that were slightly louder than expected. What is this place, Remus? his voice came floating back to the group.
It's the Shrieking Shack.
There was a dull thud followed by the noise of wood scraping against wood and Sirius swore loudly. He'd jarred his knee on an overturned chair by the sound of it.
James spoke up in the darkness, You mean that old boarded-up house on the outskirts of the village?
Next came Peter's voice, drifting fearfully through the encompassing shadows, But isn't that place is haunted? The villagers say they've heard-
Remus finished matter-of-factly. The screaming and howling they say they hear from this place is all mine. They think it's a ghost, but it's me.
Oh . . . Peter trailed off quietly. James had stepped away to do some exploring himself. Remus heard him and Sirius groping about in the darkness, feeling the walls with their hands, every once in a while bumping against a piece of furniture. Peter stayed right where he was, not wanting his perpetual clumsiness to show itself, even in the dark.
A staircase? James pondered out loud from the other side of the room. There's another floor?
There's a bed room upstairs, Remus said. That's where I usually go first and wait to transform.
One by one, the four made their way up the stairs, gingerly feeling for the edge of each step with their feet. When they were up in the bed room, Remus found the bed and had a seat on the mattress. The springs creaked terrifically beneath him. Peter followed and sat beside him, emitting a little yelp of surprise in the midst of the springs' protest. Ow! Oh, wait a minute . . . he muttered, rummaging in his pyjama pockets till he found what he was looking for. Forgot I had this.Lumos.
Light emerged in a tidy burst and everyone saw that the source of it was a wand in Peter's hand. Glad it didn't break when I sat on it . . .
Sirius scowled. You might as well have broken it for all the good it did us in the tunnel. Why did you have your wand in your pyjamas anyway?
I like to keep it on me at all times, Peter answered sheepishly. Makes me feel better.
Sirius rolled his eyes, not at all moved and even less forgiving for all the times Peter had stepped on his heel. How can you have mind enough to keep a wand in your pyjamas and not remember it when we need it?
Peter glared at him. Well, at least I had sense enough to bring one at all. If you needed a wand so badly why didn't you think to bring yours? he said darkly. Sirius had the decency to drop the scowl and nod as if to say.
James interjected to snuff any further bickering. Care to give us a tour, Remus?
Remus blinked and smiled. If you'd like, he said, rising from the mattress, Though there isn't much to see round here. In any case, this is the bed room, he said, making a vague, demonstrative gesture.
So we've noticed, Sirius teased, then adopted a tone much like that of Professor Binns. But what is the significance of this particular area with relevance to your person?
Remus smirked. All right then. Peter, if you'd light the way? Then, by the light of his friend's wand, Remus began pointing out objects of interest. First, the old, cobwebby wardrobe where he stowed his clothes so he wouldn't rip them to shreds when the wolf came. There was a mouldering, moth-eaten duvet on the bed which he wrapped round himself while he waited for the actual transformation. I try to stay up here. That way, the wolf will see the bed and will know it has a place to retreat when the time comes to change back, Remus explained. Waking up on this floor is never pleasant.
The other three looked on as Peter thrust light upon various things at Remus's behest. Sirius, however, was looking at the floor. Dark, crimson pawprint-shaped stains dotted the floorboards, clashing with clawmarks. Some had even made it onto the walls, along with the occasional telltale red splatters that peppered the old wood like birdshot. There were great chunks of wood bitten out of the legs of the bed and wardrobe. One minute, silver sliver of moonlight fell upon one of the red stains on the floor that was shaped like a human hand. Sirius shuddered.
Hoy, Sirius! You coming?
Sirius fairly jumped. He'd become so ensconced in the morbid badges of turmoil and pain boasted by the room, he'd completely missed the other three heading toward the stairs. He promptly dashed to over his friends and followed them downstairs, trying not to think about those red stains, the claw marks and the shy, quiet, odd boy whom he just could not believe was responsible for them.Why do you look at me?
Sirius looked up sharply. He was alone in the Common Room with Remus, collaborating on their History of Magic assignment in the wee hours of the morning. A week had passed since their trip to the Shrieking Shack and Remus had begun to feel more at ease. James was making a point of hanging round him more often than usual, eventually confessing that he found being friends with a genuine werewolf to be bloody nifty. Even Peter was beginning to warm up to him, finally seeming to understand that Remus was Remus, and being a werewolf had nothing to do with it except on that one day each month. Outwardly, Sirius had been the same as ever, but Remus could sense the underlying current of discomfort about his friend whenever he was near. He'd also become a fair bit more distant, at least with Remus and seemed to be making a conscious effort to be wherever the other boy was not. This was no fair bit disconcerting to Remus, especially after what he'd seen in the mirror.
Sirius looked away from Remus, who wasn't glaring, but was not looking very friendly either. I wasn't looking at you, he lied into his book.
You were, Remus nettled, feeling fairly irritated. He did not like being kept up until Dear-Merlin-Above!-o'clock because he'd rather underestimated the time and labour required to complete this assignment. Sleep deprivation made him irritable and Sirius's recent behaviour had been bothering him for the past several days. He put his quill down. You've been looking at me like that all week. Ever since I told you my secret, you've been avoiding me, and when we are together, you're all jumpy and nervous. You've been looking at me like I'm some of sort of monster.
Sirius couldn't respond to that. He'd wanted so say something along the lines of, Well, youarea monster, aren't you? but something told him he'd do best to keep his mouth shut. However, Remus seemed to be able to read his thoughts. I'd bet you don't even know what is most harmful to a werewolf, he said.
I do, too! Sirius shot back defensively, Silver, right? Right after the Shrieking Shack, I checked out a book about monsters and read the chapter about werewolves! In truth, he had done so. What he didn't tell Remus was that all that he'd found out had only served to increase his fear. Remus tilted his eyebrow in contempt and made a derisive noise. One chapter is hardly enough to cover it. Even if you did read up on it a bit, you clearly don't know the first thing about my kind.
What is the first thing? Sirius asked stupidly, then immediately regretted it when a hint of cruel triumph flared in Remus's eyes.
I rest my case. And really, Sirius, if you don't understand, why not ask me instead of staring at me like an animal in a zoo?
Sirius felt a surge of guilt lance through him. Remus was his friend, but hadn't his family always told him that werewolves were not to be trusted? That they were vicious beasts who would sooner rip your head off than look at you? He looked up at the other boy and felt rather mollified. If anyone had ever had stamped on his forehead, Remus certainly was not that person.
At the moment, Remus almost didn't look real to Sirius. He was holding out his hand, a pleading gesture, though even Remus himself was not certain why he was doing it. Sirius felt his own hand rising on its own accord to meet that of his friend. Remus held his breath as he watched Sirius extend his hand toward him, then hesitate. Is it contagious?
Remus shook his head. Only if I bite you hard enough to make you bleed. He smiled. It's a condition, but it's not an illness. You can't spread it by sneezing on someone or anything.
Sirius still looked wary. And how do I know you won't bite me right now?
Because I won't, Remus said simply. A lot of people are scared of werewolves because they think we're monsters every day, day and night, but that's just not true. You do have to watch out when I actually change into the wolf, but that's it. The only time I'm a wolf in any shape or mindset is under a full moon. Every other day of the month, I'm just . . . He shrugged.
When Sirius did not show any sign of being convinced, Remus sighed. Look at it this way. You didn't have any idea I was a werewolf till I actually told you. Doesn't that tell you something?
I guess so . . . Sirius said, his voice considerably lighter, but still blemished by skepticism.
Remus knew he should be satisfied with as much, but he wasn't. Thinking quickly, he took out his wand and handed it to Sirius. Here, take this. Now, which is your dominant hand? Sirius held up his right hand, with which he was holding the wand.
You know how to do a Stun Spell, right? Remus inquired and Sirius nodded, his expression quizzical. All right. Now give me your other hand.
Sirius eyed him questioningly, then lifted his hand toward Remus who took it into his both of his own. If you think I look like I'm about to do something funny, you can Stun me. He then brought Sirius's hand to his lips and closed his mouth over the other's boy's wrist.
What're you DOING?!Sirius yelled. He tried to jerk his wrist away, but Remus's hands tightened round his arm and held him fast. A stern tilt of the eyebrow quelled any further outbursts from Sirius, who regarded Remus with wide, frightened eyes. Remus looked back at him, his own ochre eyes calm and cool.
Sirius heard only the frenzied whoosh of his breathing till his mind began to register the feeling of Remus's mouth on his wrist. It temperate and wet, ringed with warm lips which baileyed blunt, innocent teeth. His jaws did not grip Sirius's wrist, but cradled it very gently, his hands doing most of the work in holding the arm up. A strange, tingling sensation crept beneath the skin that was placed in the humid confines of that soft, dark mouth.
Sirius then remembered the wand in his free hand and he searched Remus's face for any indication to use it. However, there were no twitches, no muscles quickening beneath skin. No hints of animal instinct flickered in the neutral eyes. His calm expression showed no desire to actually sink his teeth into the vulnerable flesh between his jaws. The only movement that entered the intense tableau was that of Remus's breath, ghosting placidly, eerily over Sirius's skin.
For a moment, the two simply regarded each other in taut silence. Remus could feel the minute, frenzied thrum of Sirius's pulse against his lip as he watched the boy before him. Sirius, for his part, felt as though he were suspended in a nightmare, ghastly possibilities whirling and screaming round him, yet, he did not break away. He simply watched in dumb silence as the Remus held his wrist in his teeth, near motionless in the stew of peril.
Finally, Remus lifted his mouth from Sirius's wrist and let it go. The arm fell limply into place at its owner's side like a lifeless soldier. Remus took his wand back and tucked it away. I've had plenty of chances to bite you, he said simply. If I wanted to, I would have done it by now.
Sirius lifted his wrist so that it was at eye level and stared at it in bewildered silence. Remus's teeth had not left the slightest indent in his skin, let alone drawn blood. He had held the limb in his mouth for a full three minutes without showing even the slightest inclination toward taking a bite out of it. No bloodthirsty monster could have resisted such a temptation and Sirius knew it.
Now do you believe me?
Sirius nodded mutely and his wrist tingled. He then realised that his skin was wet and he grimaced.
Remus extended his hand, smiling hopefully.
Sirius smirked. Sure, but next time, keep your drool to yourself. He bypassed the offered hand and wiped his wrist off on the shoulder of Remus's robes.
They both shared a smile and a laugh and, to Sirius's great surprise, Remus shut his book. Forget this, he said lightly, I'm too tired to do any more. Want to meet at the tree at lunch tomorrow and finish it then?
Sirius smirked, slamming his own book shut, Thought you'd never ask.
They packed up their things and made their way toward the boy's dormitory. Remus suddenly stopped Sirius at the bottom of the staircase. Before I forget, I should correct you, Remus said quietly, Silver can kill me, but the most harmful things to a werewolf are ignorance and misunderstanding.
Sirius blinked dumbly, then grinned and ruffled Remus's hair. Well, I think we've taken care of that now.
That night, Remus lay awake in bed, carefully holding his mostly-healed wrist in his teeth. What had transpired between Sirius and himself in the Common Room had been quietly thrilling for him, even to the extent that he had no desire to visit the Mirror that night. While it was, by no means, a ravishing orgasmic experience, there was something softly erotic about holding Sirius so intimately and tasting his skin. He had been granted this pleasure for a precious three minutes, but the afterglow had followed him into bed. Now, under the cover of darkness, Remus could close his eyes and almost imagine that his wrist was Sirius's own. Remus smiled round his own skin, imagining Sirius trusting him enough to get close to him in such a way. Perhaps, someday, Sirius would trust him enough to get even closer.The next day, Remus and Sirius met under the tree as planned to get their project finished. James and Peter, for lack of anything better to do, joined them. Their class had been instructed to choose a significant historical figure that had attended Hogwarts as a Gryffindor and write a report about her or him. Peter had chosen Nearly-Headless-Nick as his subject and rather than panic over a stack of textbooks, simply got all of his information right from the source. Remus and Sirius both wanted to do a report about Brittany and Bridget Edelweiss, who had shared a fantastic singing career in the late 1800's. Because the Edelweiss sisters were conjoined twins, Professor Binns had agreed to let the two boys work together. James had a fairly interesting project, himself.
Have a looksee at this, he said, grinning broadly as he handed his roll of parchment over to Sirius, who unrolled it and read the title out loud.
A History Of How Ace I Am
by James H. Potter
(Complete with eight full colour photographs of me on my Cleansweep, being ace)
James coolly snatched the scroll back. Watch me.The next morning, a beautiful, sunlit Saturday, Remus awoke from a pleasant, dreamless sleep. His eyelids fluttered gently open and his hand ghosted upward to his brow to brush errant bits of hair aside. He took a deep breath, inhaling the soft, clean scent of a new day.
. . . Till a foul odour greeted him by triggering a gagging fit. He threw open the curtains of his bed and staggered out, clutching a hand to his face. Presently, James poked his dark, tousled head out of his curtains, apparently awakened by the commotion, and made a face. Ugh, something in here pongs! he commented in his gruff morning voice. Remus, who had made haste to the window and thrown it open, nodded weakly, slumping against the wall in his faded blue tartan pyjamas.
Peter was up as well, making his bed. He'd tied a pocket handkerchief round his head so that it covered his nose. He waved to get James and Remus's attention and pointed at the mountains of dirty clothes that were heaped to the side of the room.
Right at that moment, Sirius walked in, fresh out of the shower and wearing nothing but a towel round his waist. James smirked as Remus was suddenly fascinated by his toenails.
Bugger me with a broomstick! Sirius exclaimed, clapping a hand over his face.
James laughed. Careful, Sirius, you might give someone ideas! and Remus shot him a dirty look as Sirius lumbered over to the window and gasped for breath.
It stunk when I got up, but, blimey, I must've still been half asleep or something because it justhurtsme now!
Osgood Klee had awakened at this point and was also visibly repulsed by the smell. I suppose that's what we get for skipping laundry day last week, he said, wrinkling his nose. He then noticed Sirius in his towel and rolled his eyes in a way that clearly said show-off.'
Isn't today laundry day for this week? Remus queried, trying not to look at the damp, near-naked body standing a mere handful of inches away.
Peter nodded and answered from behind his handkerchief, That's right, but I'm not doing it. I did it last time.
S not my go, James said through a yawn, I did it last before Peter.
There was a mutter from Osgood, who was rummaging through his trunk, about it not being his go either.
Remus was about to open his mouth to say it definitely wasn't his go even though he honestly wasn't sure, but Sirius pushed off the windowsill before he could speak. All right, I'll do it. Anything to get it out of here. He went over to his bed and retrieved his wand from underneath his pillow and began magicking all of the foetid clothing into the hamper that was kept in the corner of the room. After that was done and his wand was tucked under his pillow for safekeeping, he picked up the hamper and started for the Portrait Hole.
James eyed his towel-clad friend worriedly. Er, Sirius, are you just going to walk right through school like that?
Sirius laughed and threw his head to the side as he would to toss his hair, which did not happen because it was currently soaking wet and plastered to the sides of his head and neck. Sure, why not? Some of the girls will thank me for it, I'd wager.
With that, he was gone.
While Osgood collected his clothing and headed downstairs for a shower, followed by Peter, James looked over at Remus, his eyebrow at a cocky angle and whistled. Remus actually blushed and lobbed a pillow at James's head. Shut up!
A moment later, Sirius had yet to return, but everyone else was dressed in casual week-end clothes and the other Gryffindors were heading down to the Great Hall for breakfast.
Reeemus, what's the hooold-up? James whined in the style of a three-year-old from the top of the dormitory steps. If we don't get down there soon, there won't be anything left!
Peter made a noise of urgent agreement at James's side. Remus, who was half-hidden under his bed, stuck out an arm and waved at them dismissively. You go on ahead and I'll catch you up. I can't find my tie and badge.
But it's the week-end, Peter moaned, inching toward the staircase. We don't need to wear our robes and ties and stuff when we don't have class.
I know, but when stuff goes missing, I want to find it right away. I hate not knowing where my things are, Remus answered with some effort, hauling himself out from under the bed and dragging his trunk out after him. You go. I'll meet you down there.
James and Peter duly departed and Remus heaved his trunk onto his bed, then sat cross-legged and began to sort through it.
He'd barely begun searching his lacklustre belongings for a hint of scarlet and gold-striped material when he heard hurried footfalls thundering up the staircase. Sirius burst through the door, dragging the empty hamper behind him and holding up his towel - which seemed to have come undone - with his free hand. He was panting in earnest and his face was flushed.
Remus eyed him questioningly. Did you run all the way back here?
Sirius nodded, gasping. McGonagall . . . said it was . . . indecent . . . almost . . . got caught . . .
Remus chuckled in spite of himself. Can't say you wouldn't have deserved it if you did get caught.
Oh, sod off. Sirius had secured his towel and was dragging his own trunk out from under his bed. He retrieved a rugby shirt, pants and some brown slacks, then kicked the trunk back under his bed. He looked up at Remus, suddenly uneasy. Uh, d'you mind?
Remus realised with a start that he'd been staring. Oh, right. Sorry, he half-yelped apologetically and hastily turned so that he faced the other way. Remus's heart raced as he heard the fabric of Sirius's clothes brushing against each other as he dressed. Sirius was sliding into a pair of comfortable-looking slacks just a short ways behind him, pulling a loose-fitting shirt over that smoothly muscled chest . . . Remus felt his face growing warm and wanted to slap himself round the head for it.
Decent now, Sirius's voice drifted across the distance. Remus turned slowly and found even a movement so simple as this to be alarmingly difficult. Why, oh,whyhad he become so tense?
Sirius was fully dressed, and in the midst of pushing his trunk back under his bed. His damp hair mussed from pulling the shirt over his head and his sleeves were rolled up over his arms. Remus found himself lost in awe all over again at those arms, angular and rounded in all the right places with a faint dusting of dark hair. He pulled back one sleeve and looked down at his own arm. It was long, wiry and crisscrossed with scars. As he studied his arm then looked back at Sirius's and looked at his own again, he was filled with a sort of envious shame. He pulled down his sleeve and returned his gaze to Sirius, who was bent over and reaching into the hamper. He pulled out a tie and a badge and something else that he immediately put into his pocket. And, uh, I'm guessing these are yours. They were on your robes.
Oh, thanks. I was just looking for those, Remus said brightly, accepting the tie and badge Sirius handed him. I must've forgotten to take them off last night when I put my robes in the laundry pile. He carefully put the tie and badge into their usual compartment in his trunk, then returned the trunk to its usual place under his bed. When he'd finished, he found that Sirius was still stood by his bed. There's one other thing, he said.
Remus, though still plagued by the proverbial stomach butterflies, managed a casual voice. What is it? He sat on the bed.
Sirius said, flopping back on Remus's bed a little more heavily than was necessary. You're a poof.
The smile fell from Remus's lips like a water droplet from a spigot. Panic beat its thorny wings somewhere in the pit of his stomach. The patterns on the carpet beneath his feet swam before his eyes till he no longer saw them. He steadied himself by clasping his hands in his lap, though he found he could not meet Sirius's eyes. What gave you that impression?
Little birdie told me, Sirius answered, sounding for all the world as though Remus were quizzing him for practice before an exam. It was not a casual matter to Remus, though, and Sirius's carefree attitude was beginning to anger him to the extent that he hurt inside. A little birdie named James Potter, I suppose? he said darkly.
Sort of, Sirius replied, sitting up. He reached into his pocket to extract whatever he'd put there a moment ago. When he brought it out, Remus's eyes widened and his blood ran cold. The parchment James had left him in the hospital wing . . .
That fell out of your pocket when I was getting the badge off your robes, Sirius explained, handing Remus the folded bit of parchment. Remus accepted it mutely, staring at it like it was his death warrant. He knew Sirius was looking at him, expecting something from him, but he simply could not look up in return. He felt shame draping its iron cloak over him and humiliation warming its crucible somewhere in the vicinity of his stomach, making him nauseous. Somehow, Remus felt that it would have been better for Sirius to be shouting, calling him foul names, even physically hurting him than to act like he just didn't care at all.
Well, say something, Sirius said, his voice slightly more urgent. At least look at me. Or is the floor sexier than I am and you'd rather look at it?
Sirius, please . . . Remus managed to utter through a strangled shard of a laugh. Damn you, Sirius, for having a sense of humour in a situation like this,' He thought.He wanted to find the proverbial rock to crawl under and die.His hands were clasped so tightly together they were trembling slightly.
Sorry . . . he heard Sirius say, and he sounded like he meant it. Remus still could not look at him. So . . . Sirius said, at length, Care to explain what James was talking about in that note?
Remus made a short, clipped noise in his throat, struggling to speak against the lump that had formed in it. You're being really nosy.
Sirius snorted. Well, you're the one who said I should ask you things if I didn't understand.
Remus blinked at this and realised Sirius was absolutely right. Besides, he really did have a right to know. What parts do you want to know about?
He felt the shift in limbs beside him as Sirius shrugged. Anything in it that's about me, really. But, for starters . . . Remus's heart began to pound as the other boy inched closer and leaned toward him. He could feel the warmth of Sirius's flesh as if it were against his own. He imagined he could even feel the other's pulse along his own veins. Sirius's outstretched hand entered Remus's downturned line of sight as he reached for the note. As he took hold of the parchment, their fingers brushed. Remus felt a warm shiver at the contact. Sirius either did not notice, or pretended he did not notice. He opened the note and skimmed a few lines with his index fingertip and pointed toafter seeing how nasty you got over the whole thing last night, I've got to say I hope you do land him.
You got nasty? Sirius queried, Over me?
Remus nodded. James came up to me a while back, saying he knew my secret. I thought he meant . . . well. He faltered as the words stuck in his throat. He just couldn't say it out loud. He meant he knew that I was a werewolf, but I thought he meant . . . about this, and I got really angry at him. I even yelled at him, said some pretty bad things, I suppose.
Like what?
Remus shuddered. I don't want to say. I just got really upset and I wasn't thinking straight.
No pun intended? Sirius snickered. Remus sighed diminutively, somewhere between impatient and amused, then finally looked up at him, though it was out of desperation. This is no laughing matter. Not for me.
The mirth left Sirius's face and he backed off, clasping his own hands between his knees as he propped his elbows on his thighs. he said, his tone a bit more down to earth. Sorry. I didn't know you were so upset about . . . all of this.
Well, I am, Remus said simply, not really knowing how else to respond. He returned his gaze to the floor.
You must really like me a lot if you're so worked up about it, Sirius commented through a sigh. Remus took a deep breath as if praying for strength. He wanted to talk at length with Sirius, to tell him everything that was in his heart. He wanted to tell Sirius of every need, desire and ache the other boy had inspired in his friend. However, he found that all he could manage was a small nod.
It's funny, Sirius mused aloud, How you never really know how much something means to you till you get really upset over it.
Remus toyed with a small rip in his trousers.
In any case, Sirius continued, trying to sound comfortable and considerate at the same time, you probably want to know how I feel about this whole thing, right? Well, to tell you the truth, I really don't know. I've never gone with another boy before.
You haven't ever gone with a girl either, Remus noted timidly, forcing himself to face Sirius. Sirius seemed glad to see Remus actually looking at him. James said so in his note and he's known you longer than I have. Remus went on, feeling a bit bolder, I know that lots of girls like you, but I've never seen you actually have a girlfriend.
Sirius smirked. That's because Sirius Black will never be tied down to one girl! It just wouldn't fair to the rest of them!
Remus said nothing and averted his eyes. His breath hitched when Sirius hooked a finger under his chin and gently tilted his head up. Sirius was grinning thoughtfully and studying Remus's face. Maybe . . . He leaned in till his forehead rested against his friend's. Remus could barely breathe. His heart was beating so furiously that he could feel its cadence resonating at the back of his throat.
Remus gasped softly as Sirius's lips touched him, gently kissing the corner of his mouth, the touch eliciting a rise of warmth and colour in his face. Remus was trembling in spite of himself, lips parted slightly in disbelief. Sirius took advantage of this and kissed him again, this time boldly advancing into the warmth of Remus's mouth. Remus, for his part, wasn't entirely ready for that. However, shock yielded to lustful instinct and he felt himself responding to the kiss, his lips moving against Sirius's, his hand rising boldly to grasp the nape of Sirius's neck. The hand on Remus's chin slid along the soft flesh of his throat to rest beneath his jaw. When they broke apart, Sirius smiled to himself. It could work.
Remus knew he must've been as red in the face as the stripes on tie and he was probably wearing the most drunkenly pleased expression allowed in Hogwarts, but he did not care.
Sirius had kissed him.
He was positively quivering with the thrill and nearly collapsed on himself when Sirius clapped him round the shoulders. Well, I guess that does it, he stated matter-of-factly, getting up and making his way toward the staircase, grabbing his still-damp towel from his bed.
Where're you going? Remus asked, still sat on the bed.
Sirius replied simply.
Remus laughed.
The first one was warm and involved a lot of herbal shampoo. This one's going to be cold. Very cold, Sirius called over his shoulder. Oh and Remus . . . He stopped at the doorway. You're a good kisser, but from now on, let's save it tillafteryou've brushed your teeth, all right?
As Sirius disappeared down the stairs, Remus clapped a hand over his mouth to stifle a stream of embarrassed swearing.It is too a balanced meal! James was bickering with Peter at the breakfast table, Look, there's fruit in the fruit tart and that takes care of the Vitamin C, the pastry shell has starch, and the glass of milk has calcium and protein.
Peter gave up, but still eyed James's breakfast of a single fruit tart with disapproval then resumed tucking into his own healthy portions of sausages, eggs, fried tomatoes, bacon and toast. So, why you are suddenly going on a diet?
James grinned as he began to cut a slice out of his tiny breakfast. Gotta keep myself sexy. He cocked his head toward the end of the table where a cluster of girls including Lily Evans were sat. And if you don't mind my saying so, Pete, he added as an afterthought, You could do with a little minimising yourself, mon pudding.
Peter reddened beneath a scowl. I am not fat! It's this jumper. He jabbed at thumb at the overlarge, ludicrously purple number he was wearing. It makes me look all poofy.
Fine, you've got fat clothes, but still . . . James trailed off, taking a swig off his glass of milk. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Remus enter the Great Hall wearing a khaki-coloured turtleneck jumper and frayed corduroy trousers. Speaking ofpoofy. . . James muttered, soft enough so as not to be heard by Peter. A minute or so later, Remus sat down next to Peter with a plate full of eggs, fried tomatoes and toast. His face was a smooth mask of forced calm, which suggested he was trying not to grin all over himself.
Morning, Rem! James greeted him cheerfully, by now nearly finished with his fruit tart.
Remus nodded his own greeting to James as he took an enormous bite of toast, and waved with his free hand when Peter said Good morning, as well. He swallowed heavily.
James forked the final bit of fruit tart into his mouth. Is Sirius coming?
Remus took a second to roll this innocent little phrase over in his mind a few times. He grinned very softly.
At that moment, Lily and a girl with curly dark hair got up from the table. James whistled at Lily as she passed. She stopped and regarded James as if he were an oversized slug sat at a breakfast table, then turned on her heel and followed her friend out of the Great Hall.
James made a huffy noise and turned back to his empty plate, which he suddenly seemed to find appalling. Oy, Peter, be a mate and lend us a bite? he said more than asked, not waiting for Peter to answer and snatched a fried tomato off his friend's plate. Peter watched this with mounting objection in his wide eyes. He opened his mouth to speak but James cut him off with a friendly clap on the back. Thanks, you're the best, he said round a mouthful of tomato and helped himself to some of Peter's eggs.
Remus grinned. Tough luck, that, he remarked coolly, jerking his fork in Lily's direction. I suppose you'll just have to find a girl who's got no taste.
Peter grinned snidely as James flipped him off. He tried his luck with Peter's toast only to have his hand pushed away. Aww, c'mon now, Pete, he simpered, his fingers inching toward the toast again. I'm a man and I need breakfast. One fruit tart isn't a man-sized breakfast! Peter smiled and showed his sympathy by stabbing at James's hand with his fork.
A soft, subtle edge of girlish giggling entered into the general hum of the collective chitchat in the Great Hall and James saw that Sirius had arrived. Speaking oftarts, he muttered before waving. Hoy, Sirius! Over here, mate!
Sirius took note of the waving and sidled over to his friends. He quite literallytooka seat between Remus and James, pushing them apart with his knee and muscling in between them. Remus shivered slightly as Sirius's cold, damp hair brushed over his ear. Morning, you lot. He then he turned to Remus and his expression brightened, Say, Rem, how about sharing some of that with a mate? He pointed to Remus's breakfast, half of which was already gone.
Remus raised his eyebrows and his tone was quietly playful. And why don't you get your own?
Can't be arsed. Sirius shrugged, then grinned pointedly at Remus. Besides, we do everything together.
Do we? Remus asked lightly, trying to sound skeptical, though he couldn't help but smile.
But of course.
Peter eyed them strangely as Sirius picked up a piece of bacon with his fingers, took a bite off of one end, then held it out to Remus who smiled and took a bite off the other end. James took the opportunity to filch another tomato off of Peter's plate, then looked curiously at his two friends.
Had Remus . . . ? James suppressed a shudder at the imagery swimming about his head.
As Remus was holding out a forkful of egg to Sirius, Sirius noticed that the girls at neighbouring tables were pointing and whispering. When they noticed he was looking at him, he winked at them.This is going to be fun,'he thought to himself, then offered Remus some toast with a little more gusto than was necessary.
All throughout the day, Remus and Sirius carried on in this way. Between classes, they followed each other round like puppies. During their lessons, they sat next to each other, suspiciously absorbed in what they were writing. During Transfiguration, James was sat next to Peter in the row behind them and he was watching them closely. He happened to glance under their desktops and saw a bit of parchment flicker between them as Remus passed Sirius a note. He blinked. Remusneverpassed notes. The only thing Remus did during class was feverishly copy down everything the teacher said.
Right at that moment, James received a nudge to the foot and saw a note coming his way from Peter. Pretending to accidentally drop his quill on the floor, he bent under the desk and retrieved the quill with one hand, discreetly snatching the bit of parchment from Peter with the other. When he'd returned to his desktop, he carefully slid the note half under his open textbook so that it looked like he was reading from the pages.
Remus and Sirius are acting very funny. Any idea why?
James looked up at Peter whose features had confusion writ largely over them. Something turned over in James's stomach. He felt he probably had a very good idea as to why his friends were acting very funny, but he didn't rightly know if he should share what he knew with Peter and certainly not without asking first. James might not exactly approve of that sort of thing, but it didn't change the fact that they were his friends and he wasn't about to go blabbing on them without their consent. . . . Not on purpose, anyway,' he amended to himself. Even troublemakers have moral values.'
He very quickly scratched a one-word message on the bit of paper with his quill and passed it back under the table to Peter.
Maybe.
Peter looked questioningly as James, his inquisitive gaze positively grilling the other boy for details, but James mouthed and tilted a brow warningly toward Professor McGonagall. He then went about subtly packing his things up as best he could so that he could leave quickly when the class was dismissed.
When the lesson was over, while Peter was putting his textbook in his satchel and looking the other way, James inconspicuously pushed Peter's inkwell off the desk. Peter jumped at the noise and swore when he saw the glittering black mess of shards and splattered ink. James took advantage of this distraction and jumped up from his chair. When he got to their row, James saw that Remus was about to bend down to help Peter, but Sirius, seeing the meaningful look in James's eyes, stopped him by placing a hand on his shoulder. Looking between them quickly, James rattled off, Toilet. No Peter. Now.
Both knew their friend only talked that way when it was important and there wasn't a second to lose. The two hastily scooped up their books, parchments, quills and inkwells in their arms and followed him without question, charging through the other students and making a beeline for the boys' toilet.
Once they were inside and the gaps beneath the stall doors had been checked for feet that might be attached to any unwanted eavesdroppers, James turned to his friends, still panting a bit from the run. So, are you two . . .? he held up his hand and crossed his index and middle finger.
Remus's mouth fell open a bit at that, but Sirius raised his eyebrows and smiled admiringly at his friend. Straight and to the point as always, Jimbo, he commented. Remus looked off to the side. James could see he was trying not to smile.
So you are, then, James confirmed, trying to sound indifferent, though the way he was subtly shifting his weight from his left foot to his right suggested otherwise. That's cool. He shrugged for effect. So what d'we tell Peter?
Remus opened my mouth to speak, but Sirius answered first. Who cares? If he's really our friend he'll be all right with it.
I'd be a bit more careful if I were us. Remus cut in, touching Sirius's arm, Peter is our friend, but he's not exactly . . . well, reliable. I think we should know how he feels about this sort of thing before we tell him. When Sirius eyed him impatiently, Remus added, I speak from experience, an apologetic tone edged into his voice as he looked at James, If I had a choice, I'd have liked you not to have found out. I can tell you don't like it.
Ouch. James stared guiltily at his feet. You're right, I don't like it. But you're my friends so I can deal with it. He looked up and smirked. You can return the favour by keeping the goo-eyes and full-frontal snogging to a minimum when I'm within fifty cubic feet.
Fair enough, said Remus, immediately putting a placating hand on Sirius's shoulder when he looked as if he were about to object. So, the idea is to find out how Peter would react if he thought Sirius and I were going out.
They all thought for a moment in silence. Sirius leaned backward against a sink, craning his neck so that his longish hair ghosted darkly over his shoulders. Remus fell into a relaxed slump against the wall and traced the caulking between the tiles with a fingertip. James crossed his arms and stared pensively round the room. Whether the other two knew it or not, he had his own reasons for doubting Peter with sensitive information . . . All at once, inspiration flickered in his hazel eyes. I've got it!
Remus positively chirped and Sirius looked expectantly at his friend. James grinned wildly. Let's just say I've lifted that rule about snogging at least until the end of Defence . . .
After hurriedly eating their lunch and successfully evading Peter as they did so, the three trooped off to the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom a few minutes early. Relieved to find that Professor Ayne had not yet come in, they all took seats next to each other in the front row and saved one for Peter, deliberately sitting him between James and Sirius.
You ready? James asked of the other two. They grinned, Remus a trifle nervous, but excited and Sirius worryingly eager, and nodded. Right, get by the desk then and I'll stand watch.
In a moment, they were in position. Remus and Sirius were leaning casually against the desk and James was stood by door, peeking out into the hallway. He chanced a glance over at the two in time to see Sirius clasp Remus's hand bracingly. He quickly returned his gaze to the hallway and saw four of their classmates, not one of which was Peter, approaching.
Someone's coming! He hissed across the room and the two looked up sharply. You'll need to improvise till Peter gets here.
Remus and Sirius looked faintly panicked, but nodded and turned to each other.
Let's play Truth-or-Dare, Sirius said loudly just as Mhairi Stewart, Blaire Ingle, Hans Eberhart and Simon McKollic came into the room, passing James who nodded his hello to each of them.
Right, sounds like fun, Remus agreed. He turned to the others. Want to play? James'll keep watch and warn us when Professor Ayne is coming.
The others happily joined in and they got a very enjoyable game started. They all oohed and aahed appreciatively as Blaire went up to the hinkypunk tank in the left corner of the room, reached into the creature's magic-made paludal environment and deftly snatched the lantern from its hand. They applauded when Mhairi and Simon ran out into the hall and danced a jig whilst singing an obscene song about hedgehogs being the world's most virginal creatures. They all howled with laughter when Hans, upon being dared to do so by Sirius, drew a picture of Snape in a hot tub full of bacon grease. More students trickled in and joined in the game till almost the entire class, except Peter, had assembled.
Finally, just after Hans had dared Gillian Moore to trade pants with Andreas Glove, James strode briskly toward the cluster of young persons as the front of the room. Mind if I join in? I've a got a dare for Remus, he said, covertly throwing a meaningful look at Sirius and Remus. Cottoning on immediately, Remus smiled. Sure. Do your worst,Jimbo.
James smirked, I'll make sure it's an absolute stinger just because you called me that. He squared his shoulders and raised his eyebrows. Remus Lupin, I dare you to- The door opened behind them with a minute creak.
Am I late? squeaked a familiar voice, shrill with dread. Everyone turned to see Peter entering the room. Sirius and Remus waved at their friend. Don't wig out, mate, we're early, James explained, gesturing dismissively. Just playing a little Truth-or-Dare before Ayne comes in. Wanna play? It's my turn and Remus is in the hot seat.
Er, no thanks, Peter shook his head. He was not the outgoing sort, so games such as this really did not suit him.
All right, well, feel free to be a spectator then, James said cheerfully. We've bagsied you a seat by us, he informed his friend, indicating the seat they'd claimed for him in the front row. Peter made his way over to the offered chair, gave it the usual one-over, then sat.
Right, then, James said, returning his attentions to Remus. Remus Lupin, I dare you to kiss Sirius Black.
The other students exchanged varying looks of shock, disgust and amusement and a few hissed whispers at one another as they stared between the two in question. Remus looked effectively surprised, but Sirius merely raised his eyebrows and smirked. All right then, Jimbo, he said. If that's what floats your boat.
Oh shut up, you prat, James said, And no pecking or quick stuff. I wanna see some tongue here, so make it good.
At that, the others were beginning to chatter and snicker animatedly amongst themselves. They knew they were in for quite a show. Remus thought he even heard a few of them commenting on breakfast that morning and he smiled ever so slightly. He turned to Sirius. Right, then. Black, desk. Now.
Sirius resisted the urge to laugh at Remus's pompous, military-esque tone and obediently bent backward over Professor Ayne's desktop, which was the only one in the room that was big enough for the purpose. He braced himself with his elbows as Remus leaned over him, standing on tiptoe to accommodate their height difference and supporting himself with his hands planted on the desk. He lowered his lips onto Sirius's waiting mouth and their classmates broke out into applause and cheers. Their volume escalated when Sirius lifted his leg and draped it over Remus's lower back for a finishing touch, pulling him closer still.
WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!
Everyone jumped and whirled round. Professor Arbroi was stood in the classroom doorway, glaring at the two bent over Professor Ayne's desk and looking absolutely livid. Remus and Sirius sprang apart. Sorry, Professor, Sirius said quickly, Just playing Truth-or-D-
Silence, Black! Arbroi snapped. The entire class scrambled to their seats as the tall, angular woman strode briskly toward the front of the classroom, her clubfoot doing little to hinder her menacing appearance. This sort of display is not written in any rules that I know of, she started fiercely, turning to face the class once she'd reached the desk, which she seemed loathe to touch. But I do not believe I am out of line in taking thirty-five points from Gryffindor for inappropriate conduct. She rounded on the four friends sat in the front row as if daring them to object. They all remained silent and perfectly still in their seats.
A girl named Aimee Green in the row behind them timidly queried, Please Professor Arbroi, where is Professor Ayne?
Professor Ayne had to leave on business with the Ministry of Magic, so I will be teaching your class today, Arbroi answered beadily. I shall not be happy to inform him of what I have seen just now, but I'm afraid I must. She rounded on the four again, though specifically on one of them. And honestly, Mr. Lupin, I would have expected a great deal more common sense from you, of all people.
When the lesson was over, the students poured out of the classroom in a talkative mass.
Merlin all-mighty, someone needs to yank out whatever pole Arbroi's got lodged up her-
I didn't know Ayne was an Auror! Even just an Auror in training . . .
You'd think he was too . . . You know,floofyto be one!
Can youbelievethe assignment Arbroi's given us?!
Two rolls of parchment!
Toward the rear of the crowd, James, Peter, Remus and Sirius were engaged in their own conversation.
Well, that went well, James remarked, though it was difficult to tell whether he was being sarcastic or not. He was feeling rather guilty at having forgotten to resume his watch at the doors after he'd announced his dare.
Thirty-five points is going to hurt our chances at winning the house cup, Peter commented glumly. James, Sirius and Remus all felt like slapping themselves upside their respective heads. Between the ire of Professor Arbroi and all the commotion their little stunt had caused, they'd completely forgotten about Peter! Also, after their encounter with a teacher, James's personal qualms about Peter had deepened to the point that he privately thought that Peter shouldn't know about the other two's new relationship at all.
Sirius clapped Peter round the shoulders and said in a buoyant voice, Sooo, Pete what'd you think of our little snogfest?
Peter seemed slightly mollified at this and he all but squeaked, Er . . . I dunno.
Aw c'mon, don't you think Rem an' me would make a right corking couple? Sirius wheedled, releasing Peter. A split-second later, Remus yelped in surprise as he received a smart slap on the rear.
Uh . . . As Peter was opening and closing his mouth, trying to say something intelligible in response, an enraged voice rang out behind them.
JAMES POTTER ! ! !
The four stopped, and James broke out into a grin upon hearing the familiar voice. He turned round, running a hand suavely through his hair. Wotcha, Evans.
Lily was storming towards the four, her face red with fury. Really, how low can you get?! Daring them to put on a stunt like that, and in aclassroom!On ateacher'sdesk!
Oy, don't give him all the credit, Sirius cut in sounding affronted, pointing at himself and Remus. We're the ones who did the actual work!
Shut up, Black, I'll get to you in a minute! Lily snapped without looking away from James. You, Potter, are an insult to your House, putting ideas in their heads like that! If I didn't mind sinking to your level, I'd slap you into next week! She rounded on Sirius. And you, Black, are an arrogant prat. Constantly dogging Severus is not going to win you any popularity contests. And what you did to his hair was just cruel.
You know, Evans, when you're right, you're right and you're right, Sirius said, nodding sagely. I should've gone with green. It suits a slimeball like him.
James snickered and Lily shot them each a filthy look before turning on Remus, who actually flinched at her tone. As for you, Lupin, I think what Professor Arbroi said covered it. I know you've got a brain in your head and for your own sake, I hope you use it the next time one of these gits tries to get you to put on another disgusting display like that.
As she turned to leave, she called acidly over her shoulder. And thanks very much for losing us thirty-five points. Good day, gentlemen! With that, she stormed off. Peter watched her go, his mouth hanging open. James scowled haughtily and crossed his arms over his chest. Remus seemed to be caught between the traumas of having his rear slapped and Lily's tirade. Sirius called cheerfully after her, You're welcome!
As they started on their way down to the Great Hall for dinner, Sirius noticed the forlorn, abashed look on Remus's face and clapped him on the back. Aw, c'mon, we'll win the points back. Lighten up! Besides, he leaned in close to Remus and whispered, mission accomplished.
Remus frowned and whispered back, What're you talking about? We never got any sort of a reaction out of him.
Not out of Peter, Sirius agreed, looking over his shoulder and making sure James and Peter were far enough away that they wouldn't hear. But we did get a pretty good reaction out of someone else. Now, we do know how dear Miss Evans feels about our disgusting display'.
Remus blinked at this realisation.
Are you okay? Sirius asked, touching Remus's arm tentatively. He sounded like he was trying to be caring without sounding too un-masculinely concerned. Does it bother you? That she said it was disgusting', I mean.
Not really. Remus shook his head. He then smiled a bit. I just don't much like being yelled at is all. He looked up at Sirius. Why? Does it bother you?
Sirius grinned and shook his head, his hair swinging smoothly about his ears. Not a bit. I don't give a flying arse what anyone thinks. He paused thoughtfully, considering what he'd just said. Not if it's bad, he ammended quickly.
Remus laughed, Sirius's hand still on his arm as they headed down to dinner.That night, Remus lay awake in his bed, far too content to sleep. One would think that feeling satisfied and at peace with the world would help one to sleep more easily. Remus, however, had been troubled his entire life and, between the coming of the full moon and worries at being discovered, there was almost never a night when he did not climb into bed without a worry of some sort nagging at him. He'd grown quite accustomed to falling asleep with troubles of all sorts hanging over him. However, now it was different. He'd garnered three kindred spirits, shared the burden of his affliction with all of them, and just now begun to share his heart with one of them. Climbing into bed and feeling so free was all very new and strange to him. He liked it.
He jerked, startled when he felt his mattress shift beneath a new arrival. Grinning, he whispered softly into the darkness.
The familiar voice answered him softly, roguishly.
Remus's heart felt light and fluttery as an autumn leaf as Sirius slipped under his duvet and inched closer to him, close enough to just brush his lips over Remus's ear. I've brushed. Hope you have, too.
It was all Remus could do to hold back a train of giggles that was jammed at the back of his throat. Boys don't giggle, he reminded himself and answered, I have.
Shush, not so loud, Sirius reprimanded, his voice almost seductively quiet as his lowered his lips onto Remus's own. They kissed very slowly and softly so as to make as little sound as possible. Remus tempered his breathing to a near inaudible volume and Sirius did the same. It was all very beautiful to the both them, not seeing each other, barely hearing each other, simplyfeeling.
Remus sighed into a mouth he could not see as it worked against his own. He lifted his hands into the darkness, reaching for soft hair he could only trust was there. His fingers found their mark and gloried in the sleek, brushstroke texture they encountered.
When they broke apart, Remus could tell that Sirius was looking down at him, trying to see him through the darkness. Remus couldn't see at all, and his blindness only heightened his tactility. The weight of an arm came to a rest across his waist, promptly followed by the palm of a warm hand with five points of concentrated heat, fingertips pressing against his hip. The lips returned, this time to prey on his neck and he arched into the blossoming warmth of the touch.
Sirius was lost in the impenetrable blackness, yet he was inescapable. Black was all round Remus, enveloping him, invading him. It had the hushed quality of fresh snow and the heavy warmth of a humid summer's day. It was cloying, terrifying and beautiful.
As Sirius's actions slowed, Remus slid his hands beneath Sirius's shirt, running them along the length of his back. His palms and fingertips delighted in the smooth, firm warmth they encountered in the dip between his shoulderblades, the arching channel of his spine, the contours of his hips.
Remus's lips were taken once more for a final good-night kiss. See you tomorrow, then, Sirius whispered dreamily from far away. The mattress shifted for a moment, then became torturously still as Sirius gingerly lifted his weight from it and Remus heard him padding quietly back to his own bed.
A cruelly empty darkness sprawled before Remus's eyes and he longingly stared into it till sleep took him, searching it for a hint of black.