Summary: Kathryn is forced to make a decision between her reputation and Sebastian
Authors Note: I know I said I'd have this done Thursday but that was sort of impossible. What can I say I'm busy. Anyway I hope people are still interested in this, let me know. For those who asked, this story will be about 22-23 chapters long.
Chapter 12: What You Hold Dear
"Are you awake?" A husky, yet amused voice whispered in Kathryn's ear.
At the moment she was turned away from Sebastian, laying on her side with her eyes closed but very much awake. Kathryn smiled and waited a few minutes to see if he would wake her. When she felt his mouth on her bare back she moaned appreciably, "all right, I'm up."
"Good morning" he murmured in her ear.
Kathryn turned back to him, touching his handsome face "morning. Have you been up long?"
Sebastian brushed loose strands of her dark hair away from her face as he replied "yeah, for a little while. You'll be happy to know everyone left so we have the house to ourselves."
"Even Blaine?"
He nodded "he went off on some mysterious mission. I was afraid to ask for details."
She snickered "probably a good idea. So what do you want to do, now that we're here all by ourselves?"
Sebastian smiled at her knowingly as he climbed in between her legs and started kissing her neck. "I can think of a few things" he laughed.
Kathryn could feel the cotton of his boxers rubbing against her thigh and she immediately went to work pulling them off of him. "Lets get rid of these first." When she felt his hard on spring lose she purred "that's much better."
Once free from his clothing Sebastian went to work kissing and caressing her body as Kathryn squirmed underneath. When she felt him making his way between her legs she arched her back and moaned. However just when she was starting to let herself go and fully enjoy what he was doing to her, Sebastian pulled away from her navel and asked "do you remember what we talked about last night?"
"Sort of" she told him even though it was a lie. The fact of the matter was Kathryn was very much aware of what he told her last night, it was what kept her up for most of the night before. Sebastian had admitted he loved her and although she appreciated the sentiment it wasn't something she could just flippantly say back to him. There had been plenty of guys before Sebastian who she had said I love you to, but she had never meant it. Sebastian was different from any other guy she'd been with. If she told him she loved him she might actually mean it.
Sebastian placed his mouth back on her stomach as his eyes stayed glued to hers as if he was studying her. She could tell he was trying to read what she was thinking and it was making her nervous. Finally he asked "well do you have an answer for me?"
Kathryn sighed as she looked away from him "it's too early in the morning for this Sebastian. Let's talk about it later."
He sat up a little and told her firmly "just tell me how you feel about me."
Rolling her eyes as she climbed out of bed she muttered "I have to get going."
"Where?"
"School" Kathryn shot back as she slid her panties on followed by her dress. "You might have heard of it, some of us still make it a point to go."
Stilling back against the headboard, Sebastian pulled out a cigarette from his pack and grumbled "I thought we were going to spend the morning together...in bed."
"I forgot there's something I have to take care of. If I hurry I can grab my uniform from home and be at Manchester in time for second period."
"Right" he huffed. "Cause it's not like you're trying to avoid having this conversation or anything. You call me a fucking pussy..."
Kathryn stopped for a minute and glared over at him. She opened her mouth to argue but then stopped herself, instead she shook her head and told him "I'll see you at home later. We can finish our discussion then."
"I look forward to it" he replied, his tone completely cold.
On her way out the door Kathryn looked back at him but he simply shook his head at her before turning away. She told herself then that she would tell him some day what she felt for him. When the time was right she would tell him.
* * * * * *
"Hey Annette" a fellow student council member greeted her as they passed in the hall.
She smiled back and offered her a friendly "good morning" before making her way down the hall way towards the cafeteria. Annette was in desperate need of some coffee that morning. Usually she wasn't a coffee drinker and only drank it occasionally, however after last night she needed it. It wasn't like she got completely drunk but she wasn't really use to drinking so the little alcohol she did have hit her hard and left her feeling completely wasted.
As she paid for her coffee and then headed to her next class she began to recall the previous night. If having Sebastian break up with her for good hadn't been bad enough, she also had to deal with him and his former evil step sister showing up at her house, then to top it off walking in on them fooling around in her bedroom. She cringed at the memory but also at how she acted in front of Sebastian. He probably thought she was a complete spaz and she didn't blame him. Still she reminded herself that she was putting Sebastian and her feelings for him in the past. She did still care for him but it was becoming evident that he wasn't about to return her affection any time soon.
Annette was about to go into her western civ class when she spotted Cecile standing out on the terrace. Deciding she could afford to be a little late Annette went out to check on her. As she approached she realized the younger girl was crying. "Cecile is something wrong?"
Turning around with her big brown eyes full of tears Cecile attempted a smile "hey Annette, I'm fine. I'm just a little...." Before she could get the sentence out she once again began to burst into tears. "No I'm not all right" she wailed. "My life is over!"
Putting a comforting arm around her shoulder Annette led her to a bench. "Okay why don't you start from the beginning and tell me what happened. It can't be all that bad."
Cecile shook her head "but it is. Last night Ronald came over my house, since my parents were out for the night. I thought it was so we could be together but he told me he only came over because he didn't want to do it over the phone. He told me he doesn't want to see me anymore!"
"Oh Cecile" Annette sighed sympathetically as she pulled a handkerchief from her school bag, the same one Sebastian had given to her. "Did he tell you why?"
She blew her nose loudly before explaining "he told me it was too hard and that I was too young for him. Ronald told me he still cared about me but we weren't meant to be together. He's going to some fancy school in London instead of Juliard. I told him I loved him and asked him to stay but he said it was too late, he already made up his mind. God, I'll probably never see him again and it's all HER fault!"
Annette looked at her a little confused "who?"
"Kathryn!" Cecile exclaimed. "Ronald told me one of his 'friends' convinced him to go and I just know it was Kathryn. She couldn't have him so she made sure I couldn't have him either. I hate her Annette! I hate her so much. She ruined my life!"
"Okay, calm down" she soothed her although Annette found she was just as angry. Although Cecile was being a little dramatic she was probably right about Kathryn being the one to convince Ronald to leave. It was just another way to exert her control and screw over anyone she saw as week.
As the brunettes tears began to cease she got to her feet suddenly and said "I'm going to get her back for this. I might not be as smart as Kathryn but I will get her back for hurting me and Ronald. Can you help me Annette?"
Annette wanted to help her but she was also eager to leave Kathryn and Sebastian in the past. She had learned her lesson dealing with them but on the other hand her heart went out to Cecile and she couldn't help but want to help her. Standing up beside her Annette asked "what did you have in mind?"
"I don't know" she shrugged. "I'm not really good with the planning stuff but it has to be something good. There has to be some way to hurt her."
Annette sighed as she began to rack her brain for some ideas. Everything she thought of was either too cruel or not mean enough. She didn't want to destroy Kathryn, just take her down a peg or two. Make her realize that she couldn't just go around treating people like they were her personal puppets.
As she was looking back to see if her class had started yet, Annette noticed something above the doorway. It was one of the new security cameras that had been installed over the summer. Suddenly she flashed back to the night of the Manchester benefit and a slow smile appeared on her face. "Bingo"
* * * * * *
Kathryn arrived at the townhouse a little after four when she was sure Sebastian wasn't around. Actually she made the driver drive around the block twice so she could make sure his jag wasn't there. She had spent most of the day trying to avoid him and she was in no mood to be ambushed as soon as she walked in the door.
Like she told him, Kathryn went to school that morning but didn't stay. After fourth period she spotted Sebastian coming down the hall and she immediately went the other way pretending she had somewhere important to go. The truth of the matter was she was so freaked out about having to talk with him she was purposely avoiding him. Instead of finishing the day Kathryn left and spent the day shopping instead. Yes it was all a little extreme and melodramatic just to avoid a conversation but she wasn't quite ready to have that particular talk with him and until she was Kathryn would avoid him.
The doorman and driver set her packages down in the living room when they arrived. Kathryn grabbed a couple and then headed to her room to take a nap. However when she arrived she realized she wasn't alone. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
Annette who was sitting on her couch, still dressed in her Manchester uniform, smiled pleasantly at her. "I came to see you Kathryn, I hope you don't mind."
"Of course I mind" Kathryn snapped opening the door behind her. "Get the fuck out, NOW!"
The blond didn't even flinch at her. She simply rose to her feet, arms crossed defiantly and replied "no. There's something we have to discuss first and I have a feeling you'll want to hear it."
Kathryn slammed the door and then turned to her "okay fine, I'll play. What do you have to tell me?"
"Well you see it's not so much what I have to tell you as it is what I have to show you." Pulling her brown leather book bag out, which Kathryn noticed looked surprisingly expensive, Annette produced a videotape. "I'm here to offer you a choice Kathryn. I can either show the entire school this videotape at next weeks assembly, which I promise will severely damage you in many people's eyes or you can give Sebastian his journal back."
"Blackmail Annette?" Kathryn asked in a mocking tone. "I thought such a thing would be above you."
"Until I met you it was" she shot back. "But I'm sick of me and everyone else being your victim."
Kathryn nodded "well it's nice to see you'll throw all your pathetic little morals away just to get your boyfriend back."
"This has nothing to do with getting Sebastian back"
She scoffed "of course it does, don't kid yourself."
"Fine, think what you want. So what's it going to be?"
Kathryn eyed her a moment realizing that Annette was really serious about black mailing her. However Kathryn wasn't one to roll over for anyone, let alone some hick from Kansas. Pretending to be bored by the whole thing she said "I want to see what's on this so called tape first."
"Okay" Annette said walking over to the VCR and putting the tape in.
What appeared first were some black and white images of two people standing out on a balcony at night. As Annette was adjusting the sound on the TV a third person appeared on screen. It took Kathryn a moment to realize that person was her and what she was looking at was a video of the Manchester benefit a few months earlier. She was trying to think why Annette would find this damaging to her when she suddenly recalled.
Cecile, turning on her with tear filled eyes asked "why did you do that? I thought you were my friend."
"Yes, you did think that didn't you."
"Why are you acting like this!"
Taking a step towards her Kathryn whispered menacingly to her "because it's fun. Come on Cecile did you ever think I would really be friends with a loser like you? You are a no nothing, insipid little school girl just like all the other losers at this school. The only reason I even pretended to tolerate you was to get back at Court."
Shaking her head in disbelief Cecile muttered "all those things you made me do...you were just trying to hurt me?"
"Of course and look how well it all turned out! Not only with Court never have anything to do with you but now I have Ronald as well."
"You bitch!" Cecile screamed as she went to hit her.
Before she could make contact Kathryn grabbed her hand and pushed her away. "Don't EVER touch me you stupid cow."
Cecile's brown eyes went as wide as saucers "I'm going to tell everyone what you've done."
"Oh I don't think so." Stepping closer to her Kathryn explained "if you open your mouth about any of this I'll destroy you Cecile. You think you feel like shit now? You have no idea the kind of pain I can inflict on you. All it would take is a few well chosen words by me to totally turn your little world upside down. Since you are so incapable of keeping your mouth shut maybe I should go tell your mother what you've been up to."
"No!" Cecile yelled blocking Kathryn's exit. "Please don't tell her or she'll send me back to that all girls school."
"Then I guess someone is going to keep there mouth shut, aren't they?"
Nodding as tears fell down her face she complied "I won't say anything."
"Good girl, maybe you aren't as stupid as you look. I'll make sure to tell Ronald that when he's going down on me tonight."
Cecile's looked at her in horror before turning and running off of the balcony. As she did Kathryn clasped her hands together and laughed in triumph.
At that point Annette reached over and turned the tape off while Kathryn just stared at the monitor in disbelief. Not only at the fact that she was totally screwed but that Annette of all people had out maneuvered her. Still she tried to appear as nonchalant as possible. Shrugging her shoulder she told her "so what? I look like a bitch, that's hardly illegal."
"Oh please Kathryn" Annette sighed rolling her eyes. "The student body of Manchester along with the faculty get one look at this and you're ruined. Everyone at that school thinks you're perfect, once they see this they'll realize the truth. So are you going to give me the journal or not?"
"I don't have it"
"You can't lie your way out of this. I know you have it so just-"
"I did have it" Kathryn interrupted her. "However I burned it."
Annette stared at her in disbelief "you what?"
"I destroyed it" Kathryn explained with a simple shrug as she walked over to the fireplace and picked up the burnt piece with Sebastian's initials on it.
Annette took it from her and studied it sadly for a moment. "How could you do this?"
"Quite easily" she sighed. "Now if you want to run off and tell Sebastian what I did don't bother, he already knows and he's over it. So you see your pathetic attempt at blackmail is pointless."
"Not necessarily" Annette told her. "How much of his past did you inform him about?"
"Everything" Kathryn lied.
"I don't believe you"
"It's the truth Annette. Sebastian knows everything and if anything it's only brought us closer together."
"Right" Annette said gathering her bag. "So if I go and tell him right now about the part you played in his accident he won't be angry at all? It won't be a surprise to him." When Kathryn simply stared her down she shrugged "well I'll guess we'll find out, won't we."
Just as she opened the door Kathryn cursed under her breath knowing Annette wasn't bluffing. Before she left Kathryn called after her "he'll hate me."
Slowly Annette turned around a triumphant smile on her face. "Yeah he probably will but I've decided to be kind and rather than go tell him myself I'm going to give you the opportunity to tell him."
Looking away from her Kathryn replied softly "I'll lose him if I do."
"And if you don't tell him you'll lose your reputation, so the question is what do you value more Kathryn? Your reputation or Sebastian?"
* * * * * *
A few days later Kathryn had made her decision. She spent hours and days agonizing over what she would do but in the end there was really only one choice. No matter what her feelings for Sebastian were she was going to have to tell him the truth. Kathryn just couldn't risk her reputation, not after all the time and energy she put into perfecting it.
Since that morning she ran out on him Kathryn hadn't spoken much to Sebastian. She pretended to be too busy for him and when they did run into each other at dinner or in the hall way they barely spoke. It seemed strange to Kathryn at first but then she realized he was most likely waiting for her to come to him rather than the other way around. Although Sebastian claimed to be sick of playing games, he wasn't above using them to get what he wanted.
The day after tomorrow was the school assembly where Kathryn was slated to give a speech. If she didn't tell Sebastian the truth by then Annette promised to show the tape to the entire school so it was now or never. Dressed in her typical skimpy nightgown, figuring it might help if she looked sexy when she told him, Kathryn went to Sebastian's bedroom and raised her hand to knock. However she stopped herself and instead walked right in deciding now was no time to be polite.
When she stepped into the room she found Sebastian behind his desk reading a book. Without looking up he greeted her "I figured you'd show up sooner or later."
"Why's that?" she asked stepping further into the room.
Sebastian shut his book then walked around the desk so he was standing in front of her. "Kathryn you've been avoiding me almost all week. Now I didn't push you because I wanted to give you time. Since you're here I assume it's because you're ready to cut the bullshit and tell me how you really feel."
Turning away from him Kathryn looked in the mirror that was over his bed. She could see him staring intently back at her, all of the cockiness and arrogance off of his face. Looking at him just made everything all the more painfull. Darting her eyes to the ground she asked him "have your feeling for me changed?"
"Of course not" he sighed. "I still love you"
"Well you shouldn't!" she told him as she turned to face him suddenly. "You shouldn't love me, it's wrong."
"Wrong?" Sebastian repeated with an amused smile. "Look I'll admit we don't have the most conventional relationship but who cares? Despite everything we've gone through these past months and everything we've done to each other, I love you Kathryn. You can't change that, believe me I've tried."
She sighed "that's what you think now but-"
"No that's what I know. What I feel for you Kathryn won't go away in a month or a year it's permanent."
"Something tells me you won't feel that way after you learn the truth" she told him cryptically.
Leaning against his desk asked "what are you talking about?"
"The truth Sebastian" she exclaimed. "Isn't that what you've been after since the beginning? You've accused me of keeping things from you and as it turns out you were right."
Sebastian sighed "yeah I know the bet and the journal."
"No it's more than that Sebastian, much more. I don't even know where to begin but maybe I should just tell you the worst of it first. The thing is, I-"
Before she could tell him anything Sebastian suddenly reached over and pulled her into a kiss. Kathryn was too shocked to respond or push him away. However when her mind eventually remember what she was suppose to do she broke away from him and said "Sebastian this is serious. I'm trying to tell you something."
"And I'm trying to tell you that I don't care. What happened is in the past and I don't care anymore. It was another life time ago and I just want to forget it ever happened."
"But it did happen and I have to explain. I don't have a choice."
"Why? You suddenly feel like unburdening your conscience?"
Kathryn shrugged "something like that."
"Well too bad" he told her his face completely serious. "I don't care and I don't want to know."
"Sebastian-" She tried to get it out once again but he was once again kissing her. Then as she attempted to pull away again he picked her up and carried her to the bed. Sebastian climbed on top of her and yanked down the straps of her night gown. "Don't" Kathryn protested "not now."
"Now" Sebastian growled in her ear. "It's in the past Kathryn and that's where it's going to stay."
She tried to think of a way out of this, after all she this wasn't how she thought the night would end. However when Sebastian suddenly pushed himself inside her slender frame Kathryn began to forget all the things she was suppose to do. "Fuck it" she muttered as she pushed him onto his back and began to ride him.
* * * * * *
Later that night in the darkness of his bedroom Sebastian listened to Kathryn's soft breathing. She was asleep and had been for some time but he however could not fall asleep. His mind was too cluttered at the moment with everything that was going on. Namely all her numerous betrayals and what he was going to do about it.
Rising from the bed, making sure he didn't wake her in the process, Sebastian grabbed his robe and slid it on. He then crept over to the burro next to his desk and removed the small camera that had been hidden behind a plant. Keeping his eyes on Kathryn's sleeping form he removed the tape and sat behind his desk. Sebastian opened the top drawer, hiding the tape away and pulling out the leather bound journal. It was new and looked nearly identical to the old one. The one Kathryn had destroyed.
He thought about that as he opened it and looked at all the blank pages waiting to be filled. Then he looked back at Kathryn and his expression hardened. Sebastian never thought it was possible to love somebody but hate them just as much. He did indeed love her, so much so that it was almost painful. However the hate was there as well. God how he hated her.
It had been less than a week ago, on a night very similar to this, that Sebastian had gotten his memory back. It had been the same night he told her he loved her. Sebastian had been laying in bed watching Kathryn sleep when he started to drift off, but just before he could suddenly he was hit with a flood of memories. Not just images of the past but feelings as well. He remembered everything and everyone. The bet, Annette and the intense feelings he had for her but most of all he remembered the hell Kathryn had put him through and how she had lied about it. She was the one responsible for the accident and making sure he never regained his memory. She filled his head with lies and false facts just to keep herself out of trouble.
As angry as Sebastian was over this and even though his feelings for Annette had resurfaced, Sebastian was willing to forget about it. In the past months he had fallen in love with Kathryn. Even though she was too afraid to admit how she felt towards him he still wanted a future with her and he was even willing to over look the past.
Then he over heard Annette blackmailing her. It had saddened him to think he had turned the once moralistic Annette into a blackmailer but what really concerned him was what Kathryn would do. Her choice was simple, she could choose him or her reputation. Sebastian had decided then that if she didn't tell him the truth and sacrificed herself to be with him, then he would tell her the truth about regaining his memory and that it truly didn't matter anymore. He loved her and what happened in the past was over with.
Sebastian knew though that Kathryn wouldn't go through with it because in the end the only thing Kathryn truly cared about was herself. It killed him when she came to him ready and willing to tell him everything. He knew then he couldn't allow her to do that so he quickly shut her up and took her to bed. They had rough, passionate sex for hours before she finally fell asleep and Sebastian plotted his next move.
Everything could have been different if she just would have chosen him for once over herself. Sebastian did love her but now his hate outweighed his love for her. Kathryn had ruined his life and he wasn't about to let her walk away from that. It was time he made her pay.
- to be continued (Please Review)