Blood Rose Chapter 17:

The Mayor's Mansion

Vash and the others were all tied to the pilars surrounding the lounge.

"Great job Vash, you got us all captured by a maniac who's trying to whore his way into our wives." Wolfwood remarked.

"Well gee Wolfwood, I didn't know he was really an ass." Vash said.

"Let's just hope our kids come and rescue us." Milly said.

"If Knives and Remus hadn't got drunk first." Meryl added.

Then the door flung open and the Mayor walked in wearing a purple pimp coat with matching hat and cane. He took off his hat and threw it on the bed.

"George, come get my pimp ass cane away, mother fucker." The Mayor said smoothly.

"You don't have to speak like that just because I'm black, I can understand you, I'm not stupid." George replied.

The Mayor gave George an angry look, but George just smiled as he gave him the middle finger.

"Anyway, my evil plan is almost complete, Preparation H has succeeded! MWA HA HA HA HA!!" The Mator said.

After hearing the name of the plan, evryone started to laugh.

"Did you know that your plan is named after the ass cream?" Wolfwood said as he was trying to contain his laughter.

"Oh that Preparation H feels good on my itching hole." Vash said as he was giggling.

Mayor Franco got furious and turned red.

"Enough! My plan has succeeded. Blood Rose will come and rescue her parents then, I will kidnap and make her my wife to be!" The Mayor proudly declared.

Everyone gasped, but not that Rose's life was in danger, but at the fact that the Mayor had sexual fantasies about Vash and Meryl's daughter.

"You sick, perverted freak!" Meryl shouted.

"I'll kill you!" Vash shouted.

"Hey, look who's talking Mr. Love and Peace!" Wolfwood remarked.

"Silence! You will all be watching this beautiful ceremony, that's why I have kidnapped you all. Meryl will handle the wedding plans, Milly will make the dress and The Priest will be our Priest for the wedding and Vash will get the drinks." Mayor Franco explained.

They all cocked an eyebrow at him. Milly couldn't take it anymore.

"You have to be the stupidest villian I've ever met! First you have a crush on my best friend and play it off as an innocent schoolboy crush, while secretly plotting the demise of Vash the Stampede, you rig the trip to New Vegas so that our poor little babies would get captured and hurt, you try to make peace negotiations while trying to seduce me and Meryl away from our husbands, and you capture all of us as your Preparation H plan turns out to be nothing but a Wedding plan while we were panicking because we thought you were trying to take over the world but it turns out to be some stupid plan for a terribly dysfunctional wedding! You are so fucking retarded! Could you have come up with a better super villian scheme, I would forgive you and accept my capture, but you have the most retarded plan on the face of this earth and I hope you are ashamed of yourself for being so stupid!" Milly said.

"That's my Big Girl!" Wolfwood said proudly.

"Damn, I knew she had her moments of rage, but damn." Vash said.

Mayor Franco suddenly had tears in his eyes.

"MOMMY!" He cried as he ran out of the room.

"Gee Milly, don't think you were a little too hard on him?" Meryl asked.

"Oh no, I said the same thing to George W. Bush and he's been out of the White House ever since." Milly commented.

"Wolfwood, you sure know how to pick them." Vash said.

"Damn straight! That's why I married her. How was the New Vegas trip rigged?" Wolfwood asked.

"Hey yeah, MIlly how did you know it was rigged?" Vash asked.

"Yeah I would like to know how it was rigged?" Meryl asked.

"I really don't have time to explain it now if we are going to escape." Milly said taking out a key to the handcuffs and a knife to cut the ropes.

"Dude, I think you married MacGuyver!" Vash said.

"This is nothing, this the same exact stuff we do while we're having sex." Wolfwood commented.

"Okay, that was a little more than I needed to know, thank you Captain TMI." Vash said.

Author's Note: "TMI" stands for Too Much Information.