Author's Note: I normally don't update so soon, but I thought I better get this written before the idea escapes me. I had some trouble finding the right way to write Ryan and Marissa's initial reunion, so feedback is welcomed. More to come soon about Seth and Summer and the rest of the cast and what happened in Chino. Enjoy

Brokedown Palace
Chapter Two
Michelle Drake

With a deep breath Ryan slowly began to walk up the driveway. The hum of Teresa's car engine was still prominent in the background. Ryan paused and could feel Teresa holding her breath, waiting for him to turn around, urging him to come back with her. Turning his head, he looked back at her, eyes; sad but hopeful. He turned back around and opened the car door.

"It's not what you think," he said sullenly.

"Then what is it?" The hopeful look in her eyes was replaced by the cold reality of their situation. She knew exactly what Ryan was thinking, and it killed her little by little.

"Not now. I can't-" He looked toward the house with a lump in his throat. "I can't go back. Not yet."

Teresa put the car in drive, already knowing where the next destination would be.

. . .

Marissa continued to stare out at the ocean until everything became a blur as the alcohol set in. From her balcony she could see a couple walking on the sand below, holding hands, stealing kisses in a blissful state of infatuation. Both of them were wrapped in the moment and the beauty of what they had. A perfect moment accented by the setting sun on the golden ocean that Marissa could barely stand to look at anymore.

Another drink and they turned to a blur in a mix of alcohol and salty tears.

Helplessly alone, Marissa retreated back into her bedroom, ready to collapse on her bed and hope that tomorrow would be a different day, a day that didn't end like every other day, her in tears waiting for her pain to be numbed.

Turning away from the scene of the beach, she let out a tiny gasp.

"Ryan?" she questioned quickly wiping away a tear before it was noticed.

"Hey."

"You don't call, you don't email, you don't so much as-" her words slurred together slightly and the world started to spin. She paused a minute to collect herself, and looked at him with glazed eyes. "That's all you have to say? I have to say, you haven't changed a bit Chino," she noted bitterly. "Ryan Atwood, man of words," she scoffed sarcastically.

Ryan stood silently in front of her, all confidence that he had about reuniting with her had disappeared. Maybe going to her first was a bad idea. He had expected her to be angry, he expected her to not want to see him, he had even expected her to kick his ass all the way back to Chino, but he hadn't expected to find her drunk and broken. Looking at her unfocused eyes, a pang of guilt surged through his body. What happened while he was gone?

"I wanted to call- I thought that-" he began with a hushed, serious tone trying to explain something that couldn't be explained. He had wanted to call, but it was always the wrong timing. He had dialed her number so many times, but always hung up before the call could be completed.

"What are you doing back?" she interrupted him with a sharp edge, the alcohol making her much more confrontational.

"I- it-" he looked for the right words. "It's a long story."

"That explains a lot," she remarked, pausing before asking once more, "Why didn't you call?"

Ryan began to realize just what a mistake coming back was. Even more he was beginning to see what a mistake it was leaving in the first place. He had left everything with everyone completely open and unresolved. The same feeling he had when he first came to Newport, the awkward uneasiness of being a fish our of water, an outsider in a world that wasn't his, was starting to wash over him.

"What are you doing here?" she continued interrogating him. "Did you realize that Teresa was just using you? Did you realize that she was just jealous of the life you had? Or did you realize what a complete and total mistake you made just leaving like that-" she continued in a stream of consciousness of words and thoughts that she had been waiting to voice since Ryan left.

"It wasn't like that-" Ryan began.

"What are you doing here?" Marissa asked again more forcibly, her blue eyes cutting deeply into Ryan's troubled gaze.

Ryan paused, looking down at the floor and then back at Marissa. He knew she was drunk, but she still deserved to know that truth. He had already come this far and turning back now wasn't an option.

"I missed you," he said softly, staring at her intensely, still feeling uncomfortable and out of place in the only place he had ever been happy.

"You didn't call. You didn't write. You-" Marissa voice cut in, suddenly full of emotion, her eyes welled up with tears suddenly.

"I'm sorry."

"I don't want your sorry. You just left me all alone," she spoke sadly, letting a tear run down her cheek. "Do me a favor, and do what you do best. Just leave."

Ryan reached out with a trembling hand to wipe her cheek but Marissa pushed him away. Ryan quickly stuffed his hands in his pockets and continued to stand in front of her awkwardly in the heavy silence, not knowing what was next.

He was finally close enough to touch her yet she had never been more unreachable. How could he begin to explain to her what he was doing back and just how much he had missed being with her. There were so many reasons he had to come back to Newport, and on his list, she was number one.

Marissa brought her hand to her eyes as the world spun again, blurred by the tears and alcohol. She visibly swayed, causing Ryan to quickly move to her side.

"Don't touch me, I'm fine," she slurred.

"No you're not," Ryan countered, mentally kicking himself for ever leaving her. "Sit down," he instructed, helping her sit on the edge of her bed.

"No. Just leave me alone, and get out. You can't just come back and start trying to take care of me! Where were you when I need you most? You can't just try to fix things after not calling, and just . . . If I didn't love you so much I would hate you. You- you just, and-" There was so much on her mind that nothing was making any sense anymore.

"I'm sorry," Ryan repeated, his voice wavering slightly at how broken they were. "You're right. I- I am going to go," he slowly surrendered, knowing that nothing would be the same between them again. They had been though so much, but after everything that had happened, he knew that things would never be fully put back together again.

"No," Marissa whispered tearfully, suddenly laying down on her side on her bed. "Please stay," she said in her drunken state, not wanting to be alone any longer. She didn't want to talk anymore, she just needed to be held.

Ryan nodded a silent yes and crawled into bed next to her, wrapping his arm around her, burying his face in her hair, the smell of her shampoo the first familiarly comforting things he encountered since he arrived back in Newport. He breathed in deeply as a shudder ran down his spine. Everything was so messed up and wrong since he had arrived, yet laying in bed with Marissa in his arms was exactly what he needed.

. . .

In the moonlight, Seth was laying a blanket out on the beach below, miles away from the massive estates and gigantic mansions of Newport, the boat he had been using all summer tied to a nearby dock.

"Just me and the waves," he said to himself, taking companionship in his own loneliness as he breathed in a deep breath of cool, ocean air.

Staring up at the stars above, his mind wander to Summer and his mom and dad. He hadn't contacted them once since the day he left, and he knew the summer was drawing to a close. He missed them but he was sure they were getting along fine without him.

"I don't have to go back," he whispered to the darkness. "As much as I love them, I am not going back."

. . .

Author's note: More to come soon. Feedback and comments always welcomed.