Title: Attack of the 50 Foot Eyesores

Summary: (Armada) The Autobots and Decepticons must team up to defeat their most deadly adversary...Twin Mary-Sues.

A/N: Yay! More reviews! Okay, here is chapter three!

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformer or the characters, except for all OC's in this fanfic. Now, there's this one thing Carlos says something in this chapter that is from an episode of 'Ed, Edd, n' Eddy.' I'm always teasing my big sister (who likes Carlos) about how alike Carlos and Ed are. (Would've thought they had the same voice actor?) So, yeah, I didn't make up the quote. Odds are you'll know which one it is.

------(Chapter Three: Of Things that are Cuddly)

ShockStar was dead...This was a very good thing. Things weren't back to normal...This was a very bad thing. To make matters worse, Ravenwing was still alive and kicking. Well, not actually kicking. She was too afraid to dent her boots and chip the paint on her toenails, which was weird, because Transformers didn't even have toenails, let alone human type feet that were hidden under fancy metal boots.

Sideways was very angry at the moment. Ravenwing was interfering with his plans, and as he had guess, Unicron was not pleased. This made the Decepticon more bitter than usual, which horribly clashed with what Ravenwing's presence had done to him. He was still nice, and when his anger and happiness mixed, it was a bad combination. He had heard Alexis and Rica compare him to a human female on PMS, whatever that was. Shrugging it off, he had just gone straight to his room and said nothing to no one while doing so.

Demolisher wasn't too thrilled either, but at least the effect Ravenwing had on him hadn't been as atypical. He simply started seeing the better points of being in a threesome instead of all of the bad ones. Who cared if Cyclonus was his best friend? This was something that had never crossed Demolisher's mind before. It had always been 'He's a friend, nothing more. Anything else wouldn't be right' or 'Waverider and Cyclonus are happy together. I'd only get in the way.' So, naturally, when they returned the base that night after ShockStar's death, he had gone into his room and sulked about Cyclonus' behavior. Not that he would ever admit this, but he missed the attention the insane Decepticon gave him.

Tri Blade was satisfied with the way the day had gone. After all, he had received the ultimate privilege of burning ShockStar to bits. He still wished Megatron was back to normal, though. Sure, the real Megatron didn't love him or really even like him very much, but at least he paid attention to him! When he, Sideways, Mogli, Waverider, and Demolisher warped back to the base, he spent an entire hour sitting at his computer, staring at a picture of Megatron that he had saved on one of his more private files.

Waverider wanted to be with Cyclonus. They did everything together, be it drinking energon, recharging, fighting side-by-side, or laughing insanely at nothing. She rarely even recharged in her own room! This had been the longest she had ever been in room since she had come to the Decepticon moon base, and she had honestly never felt so alone. Since Tidal Wave hadn't returned from wherever it was ShockStar sent him, Mogli had instantly come to Waverider, and when they all came back to the base, he had followed her into her room and fell asleep next to her.

"Beep, wheedle?" Mogli was obviously awake.

"Yes, I'm okay," Waverider sighed.

"Beep?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"Beep, beep?"

"No..." Waverider chuckled. "I'm not your mommy. Tidal Wave is."

"Wheedle, beep, wheedle?"

"He'll be back soon...Promise."

"Beep."

"Goodnight."

Yawning, Waverider laid down and began to recharge.

------

"Why are we meeting the Decepticons again?" Carlos asked, as he and the other kids walked to the warp room.

"We need to come up with a plan to kill Ravenwing," Rad said.

"Yeah, since our prank idea backfired," Alexis muttered.

"NOOO, THE JALAPNEO FACTORY!" Carlos sobbed, and Rica rolled her eyes before putting an arm around him.

Alexis typed in the location they needed, and soon they were warping off to the forest again.

"Hey, guys!" Alexis greeted.

"What's wrong with him?" Demolisher asked, looking at Carlos.

"Oh, he's just upset about the whole jalapeno factory thing," Rica said, smirking.

"I really wish we knew how to get rid of Ravenwing!" Rad muttered.

"I know!" Rica sighed. "Jeez, she was singing last night and her voice was...ugh, it was perfect!"

Sideways groaned. "We...must...kill...her."

"Rad and me had a fight, and she gave us a friendship speech!" Rica growled.

"Aw, friendship." Waverider paused a moment. "I MISS CYCLONUS!"

"Hold on..." Demolisher gasped. "Who killed ShockStar?"

"Ravenwing...duh," Alexis answered.

Waverider poked him. "What are you getting at?"

"Well, won't the other Decepticons want to avenge her death?"

"Affirmative. But they won't stand a chance against her, especially not in their current conditions," Tri Blade pointed out.

"Slag," Demolisher muttered.

"...You look very cuddly, Demolisher!" Waverider said, suddenly.

Everyone stared at her, eyes or optics wide.

"I beg your pardon?" Demolisher asked, startled.

"I blame Ravenwing," Sideways said, twitching.

"Cuddle!" Waverider grinned, clinging to him. "Cuddle, cuddle, cuddle!"

Tri Blade tilted his head to one side. "Um...Cuddle?" He looked deep in thought, and Sideways nearly fell over when he heard him mutter something about cuddling Megatron when things were back to normal.

"Friendship for everyone!" Waverider beamed.

"This is scary," Rad said, as he and the kids took a step back.

"Smell the love!" Waverider declared, spinning about.

"Did she find Cyclonus' energon stash?" Tri Blade whispered to Sideways, who shrugged.

"Smell the love? That sounds like a catch phrase for some cologne," Rica muttered, raising an eyebrow.

"Look, we're getting off task!" Demolisher said. "Waverider, calm down! Stop hugging me like that! AH! Let go of my arm! You're reminding me of Cyclonus!"

Waverider looked hurt. "You don't want me to be your friend anymore?!" She started bawling.

"No, I want you to be my friend! Oh, great...Please stop crying!" Demolisher attempted to comfort her, and Rad and Alexis couldn't help but fall over laughing.

Sideways was obviously fighting back laughter as well, but he refused to let Ravenwing's effect on him get any worse than it already was. Tri Blade just stared at them, confused, shocked, and amused.

"She is acting very strangely, yes?"

"Yes, Tri Blade," Sideways chuckled. "She is."

"Rica is my idea of a friend!" Carlos said, and hugged Rica. "Soft and cuddly like mashed potatoes...yum."

"...We need to kill Ravenwing," Sideways said.

"No...no, this is how he usually acts," Rica replied.

"I doubt we're going to get anything done today," Alexis said, standing.

"Probably not," Rad agreed. "Cuddle?"

"Touch me and you die," Alexis warned.

"Bunny!" Carlos said, dropping Rica. "BUNNY!" He chase after a small, fuzzy blur and disappeared into the trees.

Alexis groaned. "Let's just go home!"

Tri Blade and Sideways managed to pull Waverider away from Demolisher.

"We'll call you if we think of anything," Sideways said.

"Ditto," Rica said, nodding.

The Decepticons warped away and the kids went in search of Carlos.

"Bunnies are cuddly!" Rica said, quite randomly.

------

"Primus," Tri Blade gasped, optics wide. "What...what are they doing?"

"Ack! My optics!" Sideways' hands flew over his face.

"That's...not right," Demolisher said, taking a small step back.

"COOL!" Waverider said, beaming. "I never realized how nice Thrust looked with a pink paint job! And Cyclonus, too? Hm..."

"We are wearing this colour to mourn for the loss of ShockStar..." Thrust sighed.

"Did...Did Lord Megatron do this as well?" Tri Blade asked.

"Slag, no. He's already mostly purple, what more do you want?" Starscream asked, glaring at him from the corner of the room.

"I should send a picture of this to Alexis..." Tri Blade laughed.

Starscream stood before them, pink, purple, and was that glitter?

"They should me mourning for their dignity!" Waverider said, sighing as she shook her head.

"Did they ever even have dignity to begin with?" Sideways muttered.

"Odds are? No," Demolisher stated, flatly.

"I am going to go search for Lord Megatron," Tri Blade said, walking out of the room.

"Demolisher, wanna go cuddle?" Waverider asked.

"NO!"

"I was just kidding!"

Sideways left the room, deciding he would go contact Unicron...

"I have nothing better to do," he sighed.

------

"How's Ravenwing?" The kids heard Hotshot ask.

"She's still very upset," Red Alert replied. "Would you like to see her?"

"Thanks."

"OH, HOTSHOT MY LOVE!" They heard Ravenwing half shriek, half sob.

"That hurt my ears," Rica said, twitching.

"Wait a second..." Alexis raised an eyebrow. "Would you guys say the Ravenclaw is a noble person?"

"Unfortunately yes," Rad answered. "Why?"

"Think about it...Look how close she it to Hotshot!"

"Um...what are you getting at?" Carlos asked.

Rica elbowed him. "Let her talk, cuddle boy."

"Here's the plan!" The huddled in and Alexis began whispered.

"That might work!" Rad said, smirking. "Let's go call the Decepticons and tell them!"

------

"So we kidnap Hotshot, which will bring Ravenwing out to save him, and then open fire on her? Why didn't I think of something like that? It's simple, yet so...Effective!" Sideways said.

"We're pulling this off tomorrow, since we can get Hotshot away from Ravenwing right now," Alexis said.

"We've wait this long...I guess we can wait another night," Waverider sighed.

Demolisher stifled a yawn. "It's getting late. Let's recharge."

"I'm down with that!" They heard Carlos say from somewhere behind Alexis.

"See you guys tomorrow!" Alexis said, quite cheerfully.

(The Next Afternoon)

"Oooh, Hotshot!" Alexis called.

"What do you want?"

"Ravenwing wants to meet you on a...date," Rica said, smirking.

"Ravenwing?! Why didn't you say so!" Hotshot followed them to the warp room, then they were off.

"Hey! Where's Ravenwing?" Hotshot demanded.

"Oh, she'll be here in a bit...But for now...GET HIM!" Rad called.

Sideways and Demolisher leapt out from nowhere and pinned down Hotshot.

"AH! DECEPTICONS! I AM TOO WEAK AND UNLIKE RAVENWING TO DEFEND MYSELF! HEEEEELP!"

"What a cry baby," Waverider muttered.

"I HAVE A WIFE AND TWO KIDS!"

"Carlos!" Rica smacked the back of his head. "Shut up!"

"Heh. Sorry!" Carlos said, grinning. "Couldn't resist. But one of these day, I'll have a wife and lots of kids!" He winked at her.

"Not...now," Rica mumbled, blushing.

"Is he..." Sideways' voice caught their attention. "...cuddling my leg?"

They looked down, and indeed, Hotshot was clinging to Sideways' leg, crying desperately for Ravenwing to save him. While it was a comical sight, it was also very pathetic and would definitely be used a blackmail later on.

Rolling her eyes, Alexis crossed her arms. Everyone watched Hotshot for awhile, and it wasn't long before they were bored.

"Who knew watching Hotshot cry and cuddle Sideways would be boring?" Rica asked, throwing in a dramatic yawn.

"Really," Rad muttered.

"I'll go tell Ravenclaw that we captured Hotshot," Waverider said, warping back to the Decepticon moon base.

"Now what?" Carlos asked.

"We wait," Demolisher replied.

And they did wait...for nearly an hour it seemed. Finally, Waverider warped back and stood next to Demolisher, looking bored, annoyed, and very aggravated.

"Lemme guess...She was crying for about an hour before she actually got up and left?" Sideways said.

"Bingo," Waverider sighed. "She'll be here soon. Kids, you better hide. This could get ugly."

"If we're killing Ravenwing, I doubt it!" Rica protested.

"Whatever...But if she sees you here, helping us, that's another hour of her whining and giving a friendship speech."

"We're gone!" Alexis said, dragging the other three kids behind a large cluster of big rocks.

"So...what do we do until she gets here?" Carlos whispered.

"Cuddle!" And Rica latched onto him.

It was silent. They waited for Ravenwing, wondering what was taking her so long. They suddenly saw a set of jumbled colours appear, that began to take the shape of an obviously female seeker.

"It's show time," Waverider whispered.

------

A/N: Next chapter: The death of Ravenclaw. Only one chapter left...Huh. Interesting. Anyways, I hoped you liked this chapter and please review!