CHAPTER 4
ENTRIES13 to 15
Entry 13
Dear diary, A few days ago I got the new computer, and with spare time, I have managed to get it up and running with in a day.
FLASHBACK REALITY: "Hey guy's, guess what?"(Sam) "What?" (all in sync.) "Got the new PC UP!" "Awesome!" (Fred) "Radical!" (Ted) "Tubular!" (Ed) "Spadoodalar!" (Sheep)
All crowd around computer
"Alright. Lets go online..." "Look! What's that?!" "A pop-up ad." "Wow.." (Ed) "Delete!" (Sam) "No! Lets read!" "Hey! Look! Another!" "Delete." "Another." "Delete." "Ano-" "Delete, delete, DELETE!!"
PAUSE
"Alright then..." "Look!" "DELETE!!" "Let's send an e-mail!" (Sam) "To who?" "I have a cousin in Cuba!" "Alright. Now I press send." CLICK "Will it take long to get a reply?" "About a day." "Then what's that?" "That. Was fast." (Sam) CLICK "Hey it's blank." (Moe) "Look! He sent another!" "Blank." "Five more." "All Blank." "21 more." "Blank." "Who's your cousin?" "dunno..."
"Let's go browsing!" (Sam)
LATER
"Hey, this looks like a good site." (Larry)
"NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" (All)
"Elmo!!!"
"EXIT, EXIT, EXIT!!!" (Sam)
"All is okay..."
Pause
"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" ( ALL )
"POP-UP AD BARNEY!!!"
"NNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
"Ed just had a heart attack!"
"Told him to lay off clam chowder and tofu!!"
(Terry)
"We'll him later, till then we can use him, I mean
his body, as a piñata!"
END
Entry14
"Wait guys, stop. "(Playing piñata) (Sam)
"We need an empty soul to revive Ed right?"
"And the soul are in Sarumans office right?"
"Yeah." ( All )
"We blew up the place!!"
"NNOOOOO!!"
"Okay, here's the plan..."
MISSION BREAK IN!: Saruman has a top-secert storage room, which sheep knows the location. Break in and steal a soul to revive Joe.
"Alright! Fall out!" LATER
"Yo! There's like a picture..."(Larry) "That's the secret entrance." (Sheep) "That?" "Oh well. How we get it open?" "Gotta use magic." "Magic? Ha! Who needs magic!" "Pry bar?" "Here." "Screwdriver?" "got it." "Blow torch?" "Yep." "Chair?" "Ditto." "Floss?" "Check."
"Alright! I think we're ready!"
LATER
"Got the soul?" "Yep." "Let's get out of here..." "These rainbow colours... are getting to me..." "He is Saruman the rainbow." (Book version.)
"True."
"Alright! Whew! We are out!" (Sam)
"You say alright too much." (Moe)
"Well, what do you want me to say?" (Sam)
"All's cool."
"Alri- All's cool then."
"We better make our way back..." (Jerry)
BACK AT THE WRAITHS LOUNGE
ROOM
"Alright give this soul to Ed.."
"Alright?"
"All's cool!"
"All's cool then! How you felling Ed?"
"What?"
PAUSE
"YAAAYYY!!! ED' S BACK!"
Entry15
Dear Diary, Sam the ring wraith here I teamed up with Moe to write and publish a newspaper to be circulated around Mordor.
I inserted the paper in here. Your friend in pain,
Sammy.
The Wraith Daily
December edition 17th 2003, $2.00 for a whole junk of useless knowledge
Sam the second ring wraith here to report the tragic event of the unusual number of pink buffalo in the area of Mirkwood. The cause of this is still unclear even the reason why there are buffalo in middle earth. Yet one thing is for certain, the elves have been quite amused by the sightings of these bizarre creatures. These buffalo tend to make their nests in trees. Due to their size they are quite easy to see and has attracted many tourists to the area. Some of the elves are considering building a hotel for these on-lookers. Already they have started the production of this hotel with the ground work set out and the lumber put in place when ready for construction on the hotel. The due date of this hotel is this time next year. Lets just hope the buffalo don't fly south this year. Some of the buffalo cannot support their weight while making this long journey to the south. Many of them fall into tar pits or even into the ocean. One farmer in the shire has reported a buffalo among his wheat-crop. These buffalo are very annoying, they tend to eat entire corn fields for a rest-stop during their long journey south.
"Health general says that there has been reports showing that there has been a intoxicating level of lead in the wines, ales and brews drunken daily at the Prancing Pony."
Owner of the Prancing Pony; Mr.Butterbur says he does not remember putting any coal in the wines and brews. Though some people say he remembers nothing, past yesterday, when a pink buffalo fell through the roof and hit him on the head. There was no known cure to this form of poisoning, except for a blood trans-fusion. This requires three things: another person/relative preferably, horse vein and you! The procedure of this is very gruesome ( this is what they used to do back in the old days. Back at North America.) You see they would get the horse vein, put a needle at the end, stick it into someone and the other end into someone else. Many of the drinkers who have drank this poisonous ale and brew, at the Prancing Pony are going with this method for they do not wish to die. While others turn it away. No charges are being held against Butterbur for he claims it was an honest mistake.
There has been a new fab food, raging across Middle Earth. Coast to coast, house to house, town to town, woods to woods. The inventor of this new food's name is Rose Gamgee. The name of this fabulous gourmet meal is called: Macaroni. The procedure of making this food is quite fragile and frustrating. But, in the end it turns out as delicious, scrumptious and wonderful tasting as one can imagine at ones extent. Yet it is not all it is cracked up to be. We are here to tell you the terrible news of what originally went into those noodles when made originally by Rose Gamgee. Ingredients: Eggs. Raw. Left-over salt pork. Spoiled wheat. And milk that was 5 days over due! Rosie gladly told us all about how she amazingly perfected this recipe from its horrible original state.
NEWS AT MORDOR:
The orcs have completed discussing the argument of whether or not to close the nursery. The nursery will be torn down at approx. 1 p.m. on Saturday. Though this is a very late time it will also be followed by a bonfire.
Sam the second Ring Wraith with the super-fast typer Moe, we are signing off without a sign.
( no, that is not illegal. Or is it?)
As you might already know, dear readers; that there really is no entry two. Why? Do not ask. For I myself don't know why I forgot to put a entry 2. Also there is soon to be a Christmas special and a self- dissecting science class in the upcoming chapters.
ENTRIES13 to 15
Entry 13
Dear diary, A few days ago I got the new computer, and with spare time, I have managed to get it up and running with in a day.
FLASHBACK REALITY: "Hey guy's, guess what?"(Sam) "What?" (all in sync.) "Got the new PC UP!" "Awesome!" (Fred) "Radical!" (Ted) "Tubular!" (Ed) "Spadoodalar!" (Sheep)
All crowd around computer
"Alright. Lets go online..." "Look! What's that?!" "A pop-up ad." "Wow.." (Ed) "Delete!" (Sam) "No! Lets read!" "Hey! Look! Another!" "Delete." "Another." "Delete." "Ano-" "Delete, delete, DELETE!!"
PAUSE
"Alright then..." "Look!" "DELETE!!" "Let's send an e-mail!" (Sam) "To who?" "I have a cousin in Cuba!" "Alright. Now I press send." CLICK "Will it take long to get a reply?" "About a day." "Then what's that?" "That. Was fast." (Sam) CLICK "Hey it's blank." (Moe) "Look! He sent another!" "Blank." "Five more." "All Blank." "21 more." "Blank." "Who's your cousin?" "dunno..."
"Let's go browsing!" (Sam)
LATER
"Hey, this looks like a good site." (Larry)
"NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" (All)
"Elmo!!!"
"EXIT, EXIT, EXIT!!!" (Sam)
"All is okay..."
Pause
"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" ( ALL )
"POP-UP AD BARNEY!!!"
"NNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
"Ed just had a heart attack!"
"Told him to lay off clam chowder and tofu!!"
(Terry)
"We'll him later, till then we can use him, I mean
his body, as a piñata!"
END
Entry14
"Wait guys, stop. "(Playing piñata) (Sam)
"We need an empty soul to revive Ed right?"
"And the soul are in Sarumans office right?"
"Yeah." ( All )
"We blew up the place!!"
"NNOOOOO!!"
"Okay, here's the plan..."
MISSION BREAK IN!: Saruman has a top-secert storage room, which sheep knows the location. Break in and steal a soul to revive Joe.
"Alright! Fall out!" LATER
"Yo! There's like a picture..."(Larry) "That's the secret entrance." (Sheep) "That?" "Oh well. How we get it open?" "Gotta use magic." "Magic? Ha! Who needs magic!" "Pry bar?" "Here." "Screwdriver?" "got it." "Blow torch?" "Yep." "Chair?" "Ditto." "Floss?" "Check."
"Alright! I think we're ready!"
LATER
"Got the soul?" "Yep." "Let's get out of here..." "These rainbow colours... are getting to me..." "He is Saruman the rainbow." (Book version.)
"True."
"Alright! Whew! We are out!" (Sam)
"You say alright too much." (Moe)
"Well, what do you want me to say?" (Sam)
"All's cool."
"Alri- All's cool then."
"We better make our way back..." (Jerry)
BACK AT THE WRAITHS LOUNGE
ROOM
"Alright give this soul to Ed.."
"Alright?"
"All's cool!"
"All's cool then! How you felling Ed?"
"What?"
PAUSE
"YAAAYYY!!! ED' S BACK!"
Entry15
Dear Diary, Sam the ring wraith here I teamed up with Moe to write and publish a newspaper to be circulated around Mordor.
I inserted the paper in here. Your friend in pain,
Sammy.
The Wraith Daily
December edition 17th 2003, $2.00 for a whole junk of useless knowledge
Sam the second ring wraith here to report the tragic event of the unusual number of pink buffalo in the area of Mirkwood. The cause of this is still unclear even the reason why there are buffalo in middle earth. Yet one thing is for certain, the elves have been quite amused by the sightings of these bizarre creatures. These buffalo tend to make their nests in trees. Due to their size they are quite easy to see and has attracted many tourists to the area. Some of the elves are considering building a hotel for these on-lookers. Already they have started the production of this hotel with the ground work set out and the lumber put in place when ready for construction on the hotel. The due date of this hotel is this time next year. Lets just hope the buffalo don't fly south this year. Some of the buffalo cannot support their weight while making this long journey to the south. Many of them fall into tar pits or even into the ocean. One farmer in the shire has reported a buffalo among his wheat-crop. These buffalo are very annoying, they tend to eat entire corn fields for a rest-stop during their long journey south.
"Health general says that there has been reports showing that there has been a intoxicating level of lead in the wines, ales and brews drunken daily at the Prancing Pony."
Owner of the Prancing Pony; Mr.Butterbur says he does not remember putting any coal in the wines and brews. Though some people say he remembers nothing, past yesterday, when a pink buffalo fell through the roof and hit him on the head. There was no known cure to this form of poisoning, except for a blood trans-fusion. This requires three things: another person/relative preferably, horse vein and you! The procedure of this is very gruesome ( this is what they used to do back in the old days. Back at North America.) You see they would get the horse vein, put a needle at the end, stick it into someone and the other end into someone else. Many of the drinkers who have drank this poisonous ale and brew, at the Prancing Pony are going with this method for they do not wish to die. While others turn it away. No charges are being held against Butterbur for he claims it was an honest mistake.
There has been a new fab food, raging across Middle Earth. Coast to coast, house to house, town to town, woods to woods. The inventor of this new food's name is Rose Gamgee. The name of this fabulous gourmet meal is called: Macaroni. The procedure of making this food is quite fragile and frustrating. But, in the end it turns out as delicious, scrumptious and wonderful tasting as one can imagine at ones extent. Yet it is not all it is cracked up to be. We are here to tell you the terrible news of what originally went into those noodles when made originally by Rose Gamgee. Ingredients: Eggs. Raw. Left-over salt pork. Spoiled wheat. And milk that was 5 days over due! Rosie gladly told us all about how she amazingly perfected this recipe from its horrible original state.
NEWS AT MORDOR:
The orcs have completed discussing the argument of whether or not to close the nursery. The nursery will be torn down at approx. 1 p.m. on Saturday. Though this is a very late time it will also be followed by a bonfire.
Sam the second Ring Wraith with the super-fast typer Moe, we are signing off without a sign.
( no, that is not illegal. Or is it?)
As you might already know, dear readers; that there really is no entry two. Why? Do not ask. For I myself don't know why I forgot to put a entry 2. Also there is soon to be a Christmas special and a self- dissecting science class in the upcoming chapters.