CHAPTER5
Christmas Special
Reality:
Tree Paper Airplanes Mistletoe Fire Crackers Yule log Presents Tables Chairs Food Non-Alcoholic Drinks Stockings Twister Butcher Knife Turkey Pop Popcorn Slush Pogo Sticks Boom Box CD's Ornaments Tin Tinsel Ski-doo's PS2 Anime Manga LOTR (lord of the rings) POTC (pirates of the Caribbean) Canned Beans Chainsaw Methane Gas ETC...
Sam reads over the Mirtrihe Party list carefully
"Yo! Sam! Sam! Sam!" "Guess what! What! What!" "What is it now, Larry and Ted?" (Sam) "I thought you two were trying to find a Mirtrihe tree?" (Sam)
NOTE: In Mordor and middle earth there is no Christian religion so they celebrate Mirtrihe. (Pronounced: Mir-trith)
"Oh! We got the tree, but look what else we found!"
Sam sighs at the little brown ball of fluff in Larry's hands "It's just a rabbit."
"WHAT?!? JUST A RABBIT?! I AIN'T NO RABBIT!! I'M A ..!! I'm a... rabbit.." "See! I told you so! This is not just any ordinary rabbit! It's a talking rabbit!" (Ted) "Wow. Does it have a name?" "Um...no." (Ted) "Isn't it adorable?" (Will who pops out of nowhere) "I'll give it a name!!" (Will) (He's obsessed with cute and fluffy things...) "I'll name it... Bunnie!" "How original..." (Sam) "Bunnie? But my real name is-" (Bunnie) "But you said that you didn't remember your real name!" (Larry) "I don't!" (Bunnie) "Then what is it?!" (Larry) "My real name is-" "See?! You do remember your real name!" "Of course I do!!" Will breaks down into a cry
"Leave the poor bunny alone you bully!!!" (Will) "It's not my fault he's so stupid!" "Let go of the bunny! You're choking him!!" (Will) "Charleson!!!" (Bunnie) "What?" "That's my name!" "Your name is Bunnie now!" (Will) "But...." "Can I hold him?" "Sure. Here, take him." Will smiles and walks off with bunnie
"You two put up the tree and decorate it with the ornaments in that box over there. Okay?" (Sam)
"I'll be in the next room checking on the other guys.."
Sam walks on over to the other room
......... "What are you two doing? Don't you know how to light a fire?" (Sam) "Sure we do! We just thought a little gun powder and propane would spaz it up a little!" (Fred) "What he said!" (Ed) "I'll be over with Sheep and Terry to check on them with the second tree. Don't TRY to get yourselves KILLED. We are running out of souls." (Sam)
"How you doing?" "Great! Sheep's so light and small he can just hop on up the branches and put the ornaments on. Problem is, every now and then when he put's on the lights he-" "AHHHHH!" (Sheep) CRASH!! "Gets all tangled and falls like he's bungee jumping. I think that the past few times he's just doing it for kicks." (Terry)
"Glad to see he's adapting to the surrounding environment of sorrow!" (Sam) "I'd go check on Moe and Will." "Last time I saw them they were sliding down that hill in apple cases with a rabbit in their arms full-speed at a 75 degree angle." "Oh. Thanks, I'll be checking it out now, thanks." "you do that."
"Guys! GUYS!" "WHAT??!!!" "STOP AND GO BACK TO WORK!!" "CAN'T STOP!!!" "WHY?!" "CAUSE YOU'RE IN OUR WAY!!!!" "huh?" "MOVE!!" "uh..." "RUN!!"
CRASH!!! "Told you so!" "What am I doing back here?" (Sam) "These two are crazy!!! They are going to get me killed!!" (Bunnie) "Tell me about it!" (Sam) "Alright, it all started-"(Bunnie) "No! Not really!" (Sam) "Stop this apple crate right now." (Sam) "No can do." "Why?" "Jumps coming up." "WHAT?!" "I SAID-"
"AAAAHHAHHHAHHHHHHHH!!!" (All four include the bunnie.)
PLUNK!
LATER THE NEXT NIGHT BEFORE THE PARTY:
"Nnooooo!!! I said tomato juice! Not potato juice!" ( Sam) "Why can we not have carrot juice?!" ( Bunnie) "Sigh... I give up!.." (Sam) "No! Don't give up!! Never give up!" (Sheep) "I sincerely believe he has gotten into the Pepsi again..." ( Will) "I found him hanging by his cloak from the chandelier in the sitting room this morning." (Ted) "Talk about Pepsi! Who needs vegetable punch anyway?" (Ed) "Yeah! We could just give them some Pepsi!" (Fred) "I'm sure the orcs will love that!!" (Ted) "I don't think that that is a good idea.." (Moe) "Have you all forgotten that-"(Sam) "Gone to the cellars!" "See you in a bit!" "Pepsi!!" "Oh no..." (Bunnie) "Bye!!"
PAUSE
"Guy's come back here!" (Sam) "Oh what is it? I can't remember-"(Moe) "Can't remember what?! The point that the Orcs are sugar intolerant! Drink that Pepsi and they will be so hyper the place will be giant pile of rocks by morning!!" (Sam) "Oh my..." (Moe) "We must stop them at any costs!!" (Sam) "You know the guys! Once they get their idea on something they stick to it! We can't stop them!!!" (Moe) "We'll see about that!" "This wouldn't be by chance one of those crazy, insane, suicidal, ideas that you only have every year or so through a lack of excitement and always nearly gets us killed?!?" "That's it." "WHAT DID I HEAR JUST NOW?!?" (Bunnie) "What are you doing here?" "I begged Will to put me down...!" "Oh!" "I over heard you two talking about some crazy, insane, suicidal, idea to get the Pepsi out of the hands of those mischievous little locomotion's...!" (Bunnie) LATER: "Put me down!!! PUT ME DOWN!!" (Bunnie) "No! Now shut up!" (Moe) ".........." (Bunnie) "Alright, as you might already know, ring wraiths have only one weakness!" (Sam) "I do not know what their weakness' are! I only just found out what a ring wraiths is! You expect me to know all this!" (Bunnie) "No I don't!" (Sam) "Clearly you wraiths should lean how to speak English the proper way!" (Bunnie) "We will, but not now!" (Sam) "As far as ring wraiths go, we are very dark and evil. We can't stand happy white stuff, that's why we wear black cloaks, right? Catching on here?" (Sam) "Yes, I think so..." (Bunnie) "If we turn their cloaks white it'll drive them crazy!" "How do you expect us to turn their cloaks white?!" "Javex." "You expect us to just walk on up to them and pour on some Javex and bleach their cloaks white, and make them go crazy, just like that?" (Bunnie) "Yep." "Sigh... Alright then let's go and get this over with.." (Bunnie) "I knew you would see it my way!" "Lets get going before it's too late! (Moe)
LATER
"Hummmm.." (Sam) "You really think there's Javex down here?!" (Moe) "There's gotta be! It is the janitors closet you know!" (Sam) "Dear I say this janitor of yours is very unorganized!" "There's stuff all over the place..." "Look! Popular Science Magazine! 1969...!" (Sam) "Wow, looks like someone has seen the ages!" (Moe) "AHHHHHHH!!" (Moe) "Socks." (Moe) "It's not our fault that you are afraid of socks!" "Guy's! Look I found it! The Javex!" (Sam) "Great! Now let us avoid all this animal poison and toxic glue, and get out of this place!" (Bunnie) "You heard the rabbit! Let's get out of here!"
AT THE CELLARS
"Why are we down here again?" (Bunnie) "We have to sneak up on the others and pour these giant barrels of Javex on them." "Man, I feel like a traitor..." "It's for the best if you want to see Mordor again." "Shhhhhhhhh! Be quiet! There they are!" (Bunnie)
"you think that there's enough pepsi in here to give to the whole army of Mordor?" (Larry) "You never know!" (Terry)
( Sam ) "on the count of three we pour the Javex on them. Okay?" "one...two...three!"
CRASH! "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!" "It burns! It burns!" "The light!!!" "Noooooonoooononoooo!" "Pain! Immense pain!!!" "Gack!" "Guys? Alright...." (Sheep) Sheep isn't affected because he isn't really pure wraith yet.
"Our job here is done!" (Sam)
"MISSON COMPLETE!!!" (Moe) "joy." (Bunnie)
Dear Diary,
In the end, the others wraiths recovered and the party was a success. They apologized and learnt today's lesson: DON'T GIVE PEPSI TO ORCS.
Never Again,
Sammy the Second (Ring Wraith)
Christmas Special
Reality:
Tree Paper Airplanes Mistletoe Fire Crackers Yule log Presents Tables Chairs Food Non-Alcoholic Drinks Stockings Twister Butcher Knife Turkey Pop Popcorn Slush Pogo Sticks Boom Box CD's Ornaments Tin Tinsel Ski-doo's PS2 Anime Manga LOTR (lord of the rings) POTC (pirates of the Caribbean) Canned Beans Chainsaw Methane Gas ETC...
Sam reads over the Mirtrihe Party list carefully
"Yo! Sam! Sam! Sam!" "Guess what! What! What!" "What is it now, Larry and Ted?" (Sam) "I thought you two were trying to find a Mirtrihe tree?" (Sam)
NOTE: In Mordor and middle earth there is no Christian religion so they celebrate Mirtrihe. (Pronounced: Mir-trith)
"Oh! We got the tree, but look what else we found!"
Sam sighs at the little brown ball of fluff in Larry's hands "It's just a rabbit."
"WHAT?!? JUST A RABBIT?! I AIN'T NO RABBIT!! I'M A ..!! I'm a... rabbit.." "See! I told you so! This is not just any ordinary rabbit! It's a talking rabbit!" (Ted) "Wow. Does it have a name?" "Um...no." (Ted) "Isn't it adorable?" (Will who pops out of nowhere) "I'll give it a name!!" (Will) (He's obsessed with cute and fluffy things...) "I'll name it... Bunnie!" "How original..." (Sam) "Bunnie? But my real name is-" (Bunnie) "But you said that you didn't remember your real name!" (Larry) "I don't!" (Bunnie) "Then what is it?!" (Larry) "My real name is-" "See?! You do remember your real name!" "Of course I do!!" Will breaks down into a cry
"Leave the poor bunny alone you bully!!!" (Will) "It's not my fault he's so stupid!" "Let go of the bunny! You're choking him!!" (Will) "Charleson!!!" (Bunnie) "What?" "That's my name!" "Your name is Bunnie now!" (Will) "But...." "Can I hold him?" "Sure. Here, take him." Will smiles and walks off with bunnie
"You two put up the tree and decorate it with the ornaments in that box over there. Okay?" (Sam)
"I'll be in the next room checking on the other guys.."
Sam walks on over to the other room
......... "What are you two doing? Don't you know how to light a fire?" (Sam) "Sure we do! We just thought a little gun powder and propane would spaz it up a little!" (Fred) "What he said!" (Ed) "I'll be over with Sheep and Terry to check on them with the second tree. Don't TRY to get yourselves KILLED. We are running out of souls." (Sam)
"How you doing?" "Great! Sheep's so light and small he can just hop on up the branches and put the ornaments on. Problem is, every now and then when he put's on the lights he-" "AHHHHH!" (Sheep) CRASH!! "Gets all tangled and falls like he's bungee jumping. I think that the past few times he's just doing it for kicks." (Terry)
"Glad to see he's adapting to the surrounding environment of sorrow!" (Sam) "I'd go check on Moe and Will." "Last time I saw them they were sliding down that hill in apple cases with a rabbit in their arms full-speed at a 75 degree angle." "Oh. Thanks, I'll be checking it out now, thanks." "you do that."
"Guys! GUYS!" "WHAT??!!!" "STOP AND GO BACK TO WORK!!" "CAN'T STOP!!!" "WHY?!" "CAUSE YOU'RE IN OUR WAY!!!!" "huh?" "MOVE!!" "uh..." "RUN!!"
CRASH!!! "Told you so!" "What am I doing back here?" (Sam) "These two are crazy!!! They are going to get me killed!!" (Bunnie) "Tell me about it!" (Sam) "Alright, it all started-"(Bunnie) "No! Not really!" (Sam) "Stop this apple crate right now." (Sam) "No can do." "Why?" "Jumps coming up." "WHAT?!" "I SAID-"
"AAAAHHAHHHAHHHHHHHH!!!" (All four include the bunnie.)
PLUNK!
LATER THE NEXT NIGHT BEFORE THE PARTY:
"Nnooooo!!! I said tomato juice! Not potato juice!" ( Sam) "Why can we not have carrot juice?!" ( Bunnie) "Sigh... I give up!.." (Sam) "No! Don't give up!! Never give up!" (Sheep) "I sincerely believe he has gotten into the Pepsi again..." ( Will) "I found him hanging by his cloak from the chandelier in the sitting room this morning." (Ted) "Talk about Pepsi! Who needs vegetable punch anyway?" (Ed) "Yeah! We could just give them some Pepsi!" (Fred) "I'm sure the orcs will love that!!" (Ted) "I don't think that that is a good idea.." (Moe) "Have you all forgotten that-"(Sam) "Gone to the cellars!" "See you in a bit!" "Pepsi!!" "Oh no..." (Bunnie) "Bye!!"
PAUSE
"Guy's come back here!" (Sam) "Oh what is it? I can't remember-"(Moe) "Can't remember what?! The point that the Orcs are sugar intolerant! Drink that Pepsi and they will be so hyper the place will be giant pile of rocks by morning!!" (Sam) "Oh my..." (Moe) "We must stop them at any costs!!" (Sam) "You know the guys! Once they get their idea on something they stick to it! We can't stop them!!!" (Moe) "We'll see about that!" "This wouldn't be by chance one of those crazy, insane, suicidal, ideas that you only have every year or so through a lack of excitement and always nearly gets us killed?!?" "That's it." "WHAT DID I HEAR JUST NOW?!?" (Bunnie) "What are you doing here?" "I begged Will to put me down...!" "Oh!" "I over heard you two talking about some crazy, insane, suicidal, idea to get the Pepsi out of the hands of those mischievous little locomotion's...!" (Bunnie) LATER: "Put me down!!! PUT ME DOWN!!" (Bunnie) "No! Now shut up!" (Moe) ".........." (Bunnie) "Alright, as you might already know, ring wraiths have only one weakness!" (Sam) "I do not know what their weakness' are! I only just found out what a ring wraiths is! You expect me to know all this!" (Bunnie) "No I don't!" (Sam) "Clearly you wraiths should lean how to speak English the proper way!" (Bunnie) "We will, but not now!" (Sam) "As far as ring wraiths go, we are very dark and evil. We can't stand happy white stuff, that's why we wear black cloaks, right? Catching on here?" (Sam) "Yes, I think so..." (Bunnie) "If we turn their cloaks white it'll drive them crazy!" "How do you expect us to turn their cloaks white?!" "Javex." "You expect us to just walk on up to them and pour on some Javex and bleach their cloaks white, and make them go crazy, just like that?" (Bunnie) "Yep." "Sigh... Alright then let's go and get this over with.." (Bunnie) "I knew you would see it my way!" "Lets get going before it's too late! (Moe)
LATER
"Hummmm.." (Sam) "You really think there's Javex down here?!" (Moe) "There's gotta be! It is the janitors closet you know!" (Sam) "Dear I say this janitor of yours is very unorganized!" "There's stuff all over the place..." "Look! Popular Science Magazine! 1969...!" (Sam) "Wow, looks like someone has seen the ages!" (Moe) "AHHHHHHH!!" (Moe) "Socks." (Moe) "It's not our fault that you are afraid of socks!" "Guy's! Look I found it! The Javex!" (Sam) "Great! Now let us avoid all this animal poison and toxic glue, and get out of this place!" (Bunnie) "You heard the rabbit! Let's get out of here!"
AT THE CELLARS
"Why are we down here again?" (Bunnie) "We have to sneak up on the others and pour these giant barrels of Javex on them." "Man, I feel like a traitor..." "It's for the best if you want to see Mordor again." "Shhhhhhhhh! Be quiet! There they are!" (Bunnie)
"you think that there's enough pepsi in here to give to the whole army of Mordor?" (Larry) "You never know!" (Terry)
( Sam ) "on the count of three we pour the Javex on them. Okay?" "one...two...three!"
CRASH! "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!" "It burns! It burns!" "The light!!!" "Noooooonoooononoooo!" "Pain! Immense pain!!!" "Gack!" "Guys? Alright...." (Sheep) Sheep isn't affected because he isn't really pure wraith yet.
"Our job here is done!" (Sam)
"MISSON COMPLETE!!!" (Moe) "joy." (Bunnie)
Dear Diary,
In the end, the others wraiths recovered and the party was a success. They apologized and learnt today's lesson: DON'T GIVE PEPSI TO ORCS.
Never Again,
Sammy the Second (Ring Wraith)