Disclaimer: Strangely enough, the situation hasn't changed – and I still don't own Thunderbirds. If for some reason Carlton and Gerry Anderson decide to turn the rights over to me, you will be the first to know! But I still own any original characters appearing!

Special thanks to the people who reviewed – thank you! It was really appreciated!

Chapter Two – Somewhere Down The Crazy River

Catch the blue plane

Places never been before

Look for me

Somewhere down the crazy river…

Somewhere Down The Crazy River by Robbie Robertson

Scott sat fidgeting with the sheet of the hospital bed he was sitting on. The gauze patch across his head wound itched, but it was a small price to pay for a clean bill of health. The doctors had done a thorough check and had found nothing wrong, so now it was just a waiting game 'til he was given the all clear. He'd called home – they'd already known he was okay courtesy of the French media. Usually the press were his worst nightmare, but this time they'd come in handy. And now Virgil was on his way in the jet – he'd be here within the hour.

"Knock knock" Petra appeared round the curtain "How's the head?"

"Good, thanks"

"Manage to persuade the doctors there's something up there then?"

"Huh" he pretended to be offended. Petra wasn't fooled.

"Someone coming for you?"

"Yeah, I'm being picked up in a while. How about you – don't you need to get back to your tour group?"

She waved a dismissive hand as she sat down "Sent them on a shopping spree in the Champs-Elysee. Unless you wanna get rid of me?"

"Heck no! My French is pretty rusty – I'd have been real stuck"

"Gee, imagine that. An American who doesn't speak any language other than his own. What a surprise"

"Lady, my talents are in flying, not linguistics"

"I thought flying involved keeping the plane in the air?" Petra grinned

"Oh very funny. So I had an off day – sue me. Are you telling me you never get them?"

"Didn't you get the memo? Danny I'm female – we're always perfect"

Scott laughed "I won't answer that"

"See? Who says Yanks can't learn" her eyes sparkled "So what exactly is a Tracy Enterprise pilot doing in Europe?"

"Testing one of our jets. 'Fraid I can't say much more"

"A man of mystery, huh?"

"You have no idea" he chuckled.

The curtain shifted, and a doctor approached.

"Monsieur Harper?"

"Oui"

"Donc, les resultants des examens sont…"

"…the test results are…" Petra translated. The doctor stopped

"Ah, you are the American gentleman, non? I will speak in English for you – le test results are all clear as you were told, and you are now free to go. I advise you rest for at least a few days – no more flying for a little while, yes?"

"Okay" Scott grinned.

"And your company 'as picked up the medical bill – you need to sign zese forms, and then you can leave"

"Thanks, Doctor. Appreciated"

The doctor left Scott to sign.

"So who's picking you up?"

Scott made a mental note to remind his father he'd signed the forms under an assumed name "A co-workers flying in"

"Which airport?"

"Huh?

"Paris has more than one"

"Uh…"

***********************************************************************

"I'm at Roissy-Charles de Gaulle" Virgil chuckled "Man, I can't believe you managed to crash the Fox. Didn't you say that thing was…"

"…virtually uncrashable, I know" Scott sighed "How much teasing am I in for?"

"Oh, it's gonna reach a whole new level. Gordon's been finding all the plane jokes he can on the Net" Virgil grinned "Nice bandage by the way"

"Shut up"

Virgil had arrived by cab at the hospital minutes ago, and having said his goodbye's and thankyou's to the staff and to Petra, Scott had met his brother in reception and the two headed back out into the Parisien sunshine.

"So what happened?"

"Well, I got taken here by the paramedics – and this real nice tour guide stayed with me to translate. She was…"

"I meant the crash" his brother raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, uh – I dunno. Everything was fine, I was talking to John, then something just…"

"Blew?"

"I don't know. No sparks, no weird burning smells, the controls just went dead. By the time I'd got some control over the jet, there wasn't enough time to pull it back out of the dive"

Virgil shuddered "Thank god you landed in the river"

"I know. Can you imagine the damage if I'd crashed in the streets of Paris? Shit, Tracy Enterprises would be under fire from…"

"…and you would've been toast"

"Don't go there"

"Grandma already did. She's been going on about it to Dad – I think you just replaced Alan as favourite grandson"

Scott laughed as they stopped to hail a taxi, succeeding almost immediately.

"Charles de Gaulle airport, s'il vous-plait" the driver was told as the two men seated themselves in the backseat.

"How long did it take you to get here?"

"From the airport? About twenty minutes."

"And they didn't give you any trouble about landing there unannounced?"

Virgil shrugged "Just called ahead and explained. They were very accommodating when I told them it was TE business"

"What about the Fox?"

"Boss has it sorted, don't worry"

"He mad about it?"

"Nope – just relieved you were okay. We all were"

Scott caught the tinge of concern in his brothers tone.

"I'm fine, honest"

"I know. So, what's all this about a tour guide then?"

*********************************************************************

Scott's arrival back on Tracy Island was loud. The moment he set foot into the lounge his family descended on him – his father's eyes inspecting the damage to his first-born, reassuring himself he really was alright. Grandma pushed herself to the front to smother her eldest grandson with hugs and kisses until in desperation Scott pulled himself free and promised he'd eat everything she served him to prove his health hadn't suffered.

Kyrano offered him a drink and the couch as a greeting. Scott gratefully sat – his grandmother still fussing over the bandage on his head 'I really should check that Scott, you can't trust those European doctors you know'. Tin-Tin welcomed him back with a kiss on the cheek – she was very fond of all the brothers, some more than others Scott noted as she chose to sit next to Alan. Alan, like the rest of his brothers, was strangely quiet until the fuss had died down. This made Scott nervous – a quiet Alan didn't bode well. He wasn't disappointed.

"Good to have you back in one piece, bro'" Gordon grinned "Though I can't say the same for the Fox"

Here we go, Scott thought

"Hey, we should celebrate!"

Virgil, who'd been quietly discussing events with his father, broke off to listen to his youngest brothers. They were obviously setting each other's lines up.

"Great idea Alan, what do we need?"

Tin-Tin stifled a giggle. Alan nudged her as he answered "Well, Grandma and Kyrano prepared a load of food…"

"…and we've got the company right here…" the red-head indicated the gathered family just as Brains emerged to watch the proceedings.

"I know what we need!"

"Music!" the two chimed together. Scott threw a suspicious look at them. Gordon quickly found the remote for the music centre – a little too quickly, his father observed, and hit a button. The all-too familiar strains of 'Rocket Man' flooded the room. Scott groaned.

"Guys, please!"

"Not good huh? Okay, how about…"

The song changed "…so take these broken wings, and learn to fly again…"

"Oh come on!"

"Nope? Try again Gordon" Alan was barely managing to contain his laughter at his brother's face.

"…'cause I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again…" Alan and Gordon sang – badly. Virgil chuckled, knowing what was coming next – he'd had a hand in the joke, helping his brothers in finding the appropriate songs by giving directions from the jet.

"How about another classic? Something a little more bouncy this time?"

The Weather Girls 'It's Raining Men' was too much. Alan lost it, cracking up on the sofa.

"No more, no more!" Scott was half-lying on the opposite sofa, eyes closed in despair.

"Yeah" Alan was struggling to speak through the gales of laughter "Better stop there Gordon, or we might drive him in-Seine, geddit? Insane, in-Seine…?"

By this time Virgil was having to lean on the desk to stay upright, and Tin-Tin was almost on the floor from giggling. Scott threw a cushion, which Alan managed to avoid. Even Jeff was grinning.

"Scott, lighten up man. You brought it on yourself"

Gordon changed the music again. 'Smoke On The Water' started a fresh wave of laughter. "Oh cry me a river. You love us really – hey!"

This comment earned him a cushion smack in the face.

"You have really bad taste in music" Scott informed them.

  The rest of the afternoon continued in this fashion. Scott couldn't enter a room without Alan or Gordon bursting into song, or making a joke of some kind involving planes or rivers.

"Hey Alan, d'ya hear the one about the jet?"

"No Gordon – do tell"

"I didn't either. Scott crashed it before I heard the punch-line"

Virgil was the only one who sympathised with his brother – he was getting tired of hearing 'Take Me To The River' every few minutes. Jeff was no help – he promised to have a word with his two youngest, but still chuckled every time one of them sang an appropriate song. Scott even caught his grandmother humming 'Somewhere Down The Crazy River' when he sought refuge in the kitchen.

"Give it up!" he begged.

"Aw, but it's so much fun!"

"Besides, we're saving the best 'til last"

'Their best' turned out to be a rendition of 'Captain Crash And The Beauty Queen From Mars' at dinner. Once their grandmother had admonished them for singing at the table and Jeff had stopped chuckling, they were asked about the significance of the song. Virgil went pale and asked to be excused, but couldn't get away quick enough as Gordon explained that Scott's new call-sign should be 'Captain Crash' and the 'Beauty Queen From Mars' was to do with a very good-looking tour guide. This resulted in Virgil having to leave the table at a speed worthy of Thunderbird One, his infuriated elder brother hard on his heels. Alan and Gordon exchanged a high-five as grandma gave up completely on a quiet meal. As Jeff said, wiping tears from his eyes, sometimes you just had to 'go with the flow', causing them all to fall about laughing again, Scott's enraged yells still audible in the distance.

So whaddya think? Review and let me know!

Thanks for the people giving advice on making it more readable – mucho appreciado!

The song versions I used were:

'Rocket Man' by Elton John, 'Broken Wings' by Mr. Mister, 'Leaving On A Jet Plane' by Chantal Kreviazuk, 'Its Raining Men' by the Weather Girls, 'Smoke On The Water' by Deep Purple, 'Take Me To The River' by Andrew Strong, 'Somewhere Down The Crazy River' by Robbie Robertson, and 'Captain Crash And The Beauty Queen From Mars' by Bon Jovi. Enjoy!

And yes, it should be 'blue train' and not 'blue plane' – but plane seemed more appropriate!!!