Chapter Three: Falling Apart
You can't stop what has begun
Signed, sealed, they deliver oblivion.
We all have a dark side, to say the least,
And dealing in death is the nature of the beast. --Pink Floyd
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The next time Severus' face appeared in the fire, the rest of him came with it. "Could you two have carried on a bit longer, do you think?" he asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "I would hate to get any sleep. It would simply destroy my night."
"Alright, alright. I'm sorry," Alex raised her hands in mock defense. "Why don't you just spill it and get your surly ass to bed as quickly as possible?"
"Quite right, Miss Borgin," he responded in a businesslike fashion. "It is simply this: The time has come for you to make a decision."
"About what?"
"You know perfectly well 'what,'" he snapped. "The Dark Lord is out of patience with us both. He requires an answer----now." He rubbed his forearm unconsciously. "It is likely that he will summon me before the night is out, and I must know your decision when he calls."
Alex grew numb as he spoke. So, it had finally come down to this. She had known all along that she would be faced with this situation sooner or later, but was still somehow caught off guard. This was so sudden, so unreal.
She sank into the chair by the fire, eyes glazing over with disbelief. "I don't suppose he'll just let me stay where I am? I mean, I've acquired some great items for him, I've gathered information when he's asked me to. Can't he just let it go at that? What does he want from me?"
Severus took a deep breath and released it slowly, knowing how she would respond to this. "Specifically, he demands that you sign another contract negating the last one so that you may be answerable for your actions within his circle. He also intends to brand you with the Dark Mark so that you may be summoned to his side when he requires you. Finally, he demands that you follow through on the assassination he assigned to you last year as confirmation of your allegiance. Anything less than that, and he has requested that I inform you of his intention to become----'personal.'"
Severus was surprised that he made it to the end of the Dark Lord's demands, assuming that Alex would fly into a temperamental snit over the first item on the list and never allow him to reach the others. But she was strangely quiet, curled in her chair, staring up at him in what could have been disbelief, shock, resentment, or a combination of the three.
He had decided that it was the latter when she rose stiffly, tossed a handful of floo powder into the fire, and stated very calmly "Severus Snape's bedroom." The flames immediately turned a brilliant shade of green. This completed, she turned to him with the last words he expected on her lips.
"Get out."
Black eyes darted from the fire to Alex's face and repeated the gesture, not sure she was serious, but her rigid expression indicated that she most certainly was. Never one to overstay his welcome, Severus stalked to the fire. Just before he entered the hearth, however, he heard Alex call out behind him. "And, you can tell that son of a bitch you serve that I said to go to Hell."
Severus let himself be swept away without even turning around as Alex threw herself back into the chair, furiously cursing both her lover and his master.
Minutes ticked by; Alex slowly tapping the arm of the chair with a single finger, staring into the flames, her expression gradually evolving from bald anger to petulance to mild annoyance and finally to regret. Poor Severus. He was under so much pressure and the best she could do for him was throw him out while she took time to pout? Rolling her eyes at her own childishness she tossed in more floo powder, determined to apologize, no matter how much it hurt her pride and talk this out until they came to a mutually beneficial solution.
He wasn't immediately visible in his room, so she called for him, softly at first, then with increasing intensity, a tiny, panicked voice whispering away in the back of her mind. She pushed it aside.
Surely, he was in the office. But, he wasn't, neither was he in his lab. She rechecked the bedroom hearth, then the other rooms again, every one that had a floo connection, calling his name and pleading with the silence until her throat burned from the ash and the strain. There was never an answer, just the echoes from ominously empty rooms, and an invading sense of dread building within.
Severus was already gone.
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Three intensely anxious hours later, he returned----thrown from her hearth and onto the stone floor with a sharp cry of pain followed by a long, low groan. Alex was beside him in a heartbeat, checking him for wounds, though certain that she would find none. The pain was magical, she knew, residue from torments that poured from the wand of a powerful wizard, and she had sent him there with no defense, no recourse but to admit failure and accept the wrath of the most evil wizard to ever live.
Stupid, stupid, stupid!
After he spat out the mouthful of restorative she tried to give him, Alex realized that there was nothing to be done but allow the tremors of pain to stop with time.
She levitated him to the bed as gently as possible, and curled around him protectively, sobbing for his anguish and her own stupidity. In trying to explain, she only succeeded in muttering gibberish into his hair, soon settling for begging for absolution from the guilt that was clawing at her reason. "Sev, I'm sorry. I tried to call you back. I tried. I swear. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, love. Gods, I never wanted him to hurt you." On and on she chanted confessions and regrets in a whisper, rocking him softly as her tears and his moans slowly subsided.
Her last thoughts before drifting off to sleep, still possessively cradling her lover, was that she would get word to Voldemort in whatever way she could, through Lucius if she had to, first thing tomorrow. She would beg his forgiveness, offer herself up for punishment, plead with him to give her a chance. How could she have thought that she was untouchable? Her thoughts drifted unbidden to her father's demise. How many had to suffer and die for her stupidity?
Never again, she thought. Whatever Voldemort wanted, she would give him.
The shouts coming from beneath the window and beyond awakened her before the banging at the door could. Gods, how long had she slept? It felt as though she had just closed her eyes. And, what the hell was going on outside? The violent hammering had thoroughly ripped away the fuzzy remnants of sleep from both Alex and Severus, leaving only the pounding of their hearts as Snape dragged himself to the window and looked down, his face lit by an eerie green glow. He surveyed the scene below for only a moment before directing his gaze skyward and Alex swore she saw him age ten years in an instant. "Oh, no," she heard him whisper before turning her way. "Stay here," he stated flatly before heading for the stairs.
"Oh, hell no!" Alex retorted. She was down the stairs before her lover even reached the first step, bounding across the shop to throw open the door on three very concerned faces.
"Miss Alexandria Borgin?" asked the first, an elderly gentleman who looked a bit less flustered than his companions, two young men who alternated between staring at her, gaping at Severus behind her, and keeping a nervous watch on the frantic crowd in the street behind them.
"What the hell's going on?" she asked without any preamble, having to raise her voice over the noisy crowd.
"Are you Alexandria Borgin?" he asked again.
"Yes, she is," stated an already pulled-together Snape. "Will you please answer her question?"
"There's been a----an unfortunate incident, Madam." Alex's heart dropped. "Could you come with us, please?"
"Who are you? What does this have to do with me?"
"We represent the Ministry of Magic." Oh, no. Not them. "Just come with us. Quickly, if you please, Miss Borgin."
With a glance at Severus, who was looking like a statue for all the emotion displayed on his features, she stepped out of the shop, not even bothering with the wards. Trying not to notice all of the stares and whispers that followed her as she rushed along behind the three strangers, trailed closely by Severus, Alex played every worst-case scenario she had ever imagined in her head. Nothing, however, prepared her for the swell of absolute horror that overwhelmed her as she rounded the corner and saw the huge crowd of weeping wizards and witches gathered right outside Nina's shop.
Looking back on that night, she never recalled running, exploding into the crowd, parting the people so violently that she was knocking wizards twice her size to the ground. But, the sight that met her eyes as she flew into the shop would haunt her for the rest of her days.
She saw the picture in pieces before her mind would put the appalling scene together, glancing over the bloodied form on the floor and acknowledging who it was without really feeling it. The overturned tables and chairs, she registered numbly. Poppy Pomphrey, sobbing beside the body, Albus holding her shoulders as they shook with grief.
No. It's not her. It's someone else. Please, let it be someone else.
It wasn't until Poppy looked up, noticed the newest arrival, and dragged an accusing glare to the wall that Alex was crushed by the enormity of what had happened here----and why. The writing on the wall was a particular shade of red, unmistakable, and the words were damning; condemnation to a lifetime of unrelenting guilt. Two simple words that changed everything in her universe in an instant: FOR ALEX
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"Any word, Severus?" Albus asked gently, placing a steaming mug of tea before the bedraggled man in black who was crumpled into the red velvet chair like a macabre rag doll.
He gave a dejected shake of his head, then allowed it to fall back onto the wing and closed his eyes. Albus had never seen him so depressed. His own torture by Voldemort, Nina's murder, and Alex's subsequent disappearance all within a few hours had drained him so thoroughly that he couldn't even manage a sneer when Dumbledore told him that he knew how much Snape had cared for her. He had only sighed and dragged himself from the room.
This meeting was more to get the potions master out of his room for the first time in days than to find out whether Alex had contacted him. He had several people working on the location of Alex Borgin. At last word she had sold her shop and everything in it to the Ministry and left immediately for the United States where she had promptly vanished.
What the young thief was thinking was a mystery. She had given no indication at all the night Nina was murdered. Dumbledore had apparated to the scene with the school nurse and had seen Alex's abrupt arrival, though he doubted she even noticed that he was there. She had looked around blankly, every detail stopping at her eyes, taking a very long time to reach her heart. It had been terrible to see her finally begin to comprehend that Nina was dead, and that she was the reason.
The Ministry officials had tried to question her, but received only blank stares in answer. Soon she shoved past them, past Severus, past the crowd outside, stopping only once when she spotted Lucius Malfoy leaning casually on a building across the street, arms crossed, looking vindicated. Dumbledore touched her mind then, and immediately recoiled, seared by the hatred that burned there. Alex had paused only for a few moments, Dumbledore fully expecting her to reach for her wand. Instead she met the Malfoy's cold gaze with one of her own, something passing between them that only they seemed to understand; then she trudged back to her shop, sealing the door and permanently severing the floo connection. Two days later she was gone.
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Rycca Wolfbane: Oh, thank goodness you're starting to like the Malfoy scenes! The Malfoy boys feature prominently in this story. Yes. I'm sure that Nina is aware of how Severus makes Alex 'glow.' I doubt she dwells on it. Kind of moot at this point, though.
Arwen78: Your insight serves you well, young Jedi. How did you guess?
Lady Jenilyn: Snape has all kind of issues, true. He'll just have to work them out on his own, though. If I wrote Dr. Phil into the story, it would only be as fodder for a big, explosive dark spell. Oohh---I like the sound of that. I agree with you about the Malfoys. There is always a reason for people to behave the way they do. Lucius and Draco may have a different agenda, and they be ruthless, but there's a reason. They're not just two-dimensional bad guys.
Kitora Crysta: Thanks for the plushies! Yay!!!! Your advice about Draco has been duly noted. I will try to keep him as close to canon as possible. He's one of my favorites, too. I do not see him loving Harry, like ever, though one of my favorite fics makes mention of just such a situation. Weird, huh? Having a little crush on the only girl who's ever raised a hand to him--maybe. It's unlikely, but maybe. Bad boys do tend to go for girls who stand up to them.
Silverfey: This is indeed, right after the events of OOTP. Lucius, as Alex predicted, did almost no time at all, the other Death Eaters just walked out of Azkaban shortly after he bought his way out, and the war has yet to really begin. As to your thanks for continuing, thank YOU for reading and reviewing! It keeps me going. And, thank you so much for the compliment on my writing style! I'm blushing. In answer to your question. I am currently working on an original work, and because of the confidence you guys have given me, I'll probably attempt to have it published. So, thank you!
FleurK: I winced when I read your review of chapter 2, and I feel I owe you a major apology for killing Nina just as you warming up to her. As she's the only character in the story who's remotely like I am (yes, I'm really that maternal, well, more big-sister--ish) it was a blow to have to kill her, but it had to be done. Please forgive me.
IntelEwok: Aaawww! That's so sweet! Thank you! Can you tell that I really hate Narcissa?
PPP: I am so attracted to men who can cook. I just HAD to put that in! Glad you appreciated it, and I'm glad you like Draco. He'll be around quite a bit in this story.