Friday the Mole

Today, a large sharp solid bludger hit the back of my head. It hurt a lot. Also, I got a measly A for my transfiguration work, and I burnt a hole in my cloak. It is a very depressing thing to realise that no-one likes you (apart from a strange girl) and that everyone would prefer it if you went away and threw yourself, cell by cell, into the Suez Canal (apart from the strange girl) and I should stop thinking about the depressing thought. Because it is depressing.

Anyway, at least I'm not dead.

Evelyn Taylor answered a charms question wrong today. It was extremely amusing to witness her humiliation, as I, Severus Snape, Master of All, got it right. Hah.

She asked me if I was going to Hogsmeade this time. She doesn't give up about the constant going somewhere and doing stuff, does she? I have only been to Hogsmeade once, and I went straight back when I realised that Black and Potter had just bought five pounds of dungbombs.

'No.' I said. 'Why?' she said. 'Because Hogsmeade is dull.' I said, and she said 'what are you doing instead then?' I paused, thought about the game of backgammon I was going to play with Bloody Baron and then the three hours of extra homework activities, and then, maybe if I was feeling adventurous enough, stealing pencils from the Gryffindors. I said: 'Okay. I'll come.'

It wasn't that bad really, later on, after Charms and Bludger and hole in robe. We talked about silly things. You know, quidditch and...transfigurations and the use of moley in potions...

No, I am hiding myself from you...the discussion about moley in potion brewing was quite simply AWE-INSPIRING! A fantastic debate over Hooke's Third Theory and Seed's Conversion Theory and their reliability. And she seemed to think that Seed was in the right! I gave her a correcting earful, and I described to her the experiments I had done to disprove Seed because, you see, as I explained in 1975, when Moley reacts with lacewing, it creates a green smog, completely unlike what Seed predicted!

She said I must have done them wrong! Rightfully, I Raised An Eyebrow.

She bought some lollipops. I Raised Another Eyebrow. I dislike lollipops. They are barbaric.

She wanted to buy some butterbeer. At this, I Rolled My Eyes. She asked me what I wanted to do. I said I wanted to play backgammon. Then She Rolled Her Eyes.

I think it is unfair to assume that every teenager has fallen in love with the silly Madame Rosemerta (who doesn't know a bloody thing about potions) and that every teenager wants a butterbeer. I despise the stuff. It's like molten sugar. I can feel it tearing my teeth apart. Evelyn likes it. But Evelyn seems to like everything except...listen to this...James Potter!

We were born to be together and have many Potter-Hating offspring. And we will live in a cottage and we will all sing the rhyme:

Oh, Potter you are stupid,

And so are Lupe and Black,

You think you are some cupid,

But really you are a sack,

With eyes,

And no brain,

And you farm geese.