By: Sailoranime
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Disclaimer: See the disclaimers for the first five chapters.
AN: I had to write this because it was blocking inspiration for TFtWH. I guess I sorta feel like I didn't finish here, so I can't get out Chapter 7 for TFtWH even though it's all planned out. Anyway, enjoy.
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Sirius woke with a start as he felt something poke his hand. It didn't hurt, but it was definitely enough to shock him into awareness. He lifted his head slightly to look at where his hand had been. Near the foot of his bed sat a white owl. Harry's owl. It wasn't hard to recognize, after all. He'd seen it before.
The bird looked at him for a moment before taking off. Sirius was about to protest, when it landed right in front of him, holding out its leg. Sirius sat up and untied the parchment. He took some of his leftover bread from earlier, and set it down in front of the owl. It picked the bread up with its beak and returned to the foot of the bed.
Sirius unrolled the parchment, wondering how pathetic it was for him to be so eager. He blamed Azkaban, naturally. Much to his disappointment, he saw the letter was quite short.
Good to hear that you're okay. Did you really see a hippogriff? We didn't have a chance to visit Hagrid, actually. It can't have been the same one, though. Hagrid would have sent me a note. But then again, I've been keeping Hedwig busy, haven't I? And it's not like Hagrid has his own owl.
Anyway, I have to go to class tomorrow. I don't think McGonagall is going to let Hermione and I miss one more day. Maybe Madame Pomfrey will let us visit soon. Any idea what's going to happen to you until the trial? Where are you staying?
-Harry
Sirius cursed. Harry had completely ignored what he'd said about Remus. In fact, he seemed to be avoiding the whole subject of what had happened in the shrieking shack. He'd have to try harder. A lot harder, it seemed.
Madame Pomfrey had left some parchment and a quill on the small table next to his bed, so Sirius repeated the process of using his tray as a desk. He scribbled a hasty reply and reread it, trying to see it from Harry's point of view.
Dear Harry,
I'll be staying at Hogwarts until the trial, it seems. I suppose I'll just stay hidden from view in the hospital wing until the end of the term. I guess they'll let me out once the students go home, don't you?
I did see a hippogriff, but who knows if it was the same one? I don't suppose McGonagall will let you miss any more classes. Don't let Snape be too horrible to you, and behave in Remus's class, okay? He's having a hard time right now.
-Sirius
Sirius rolled it up, ready to send it, but suddenly stopped. He reread it and cursed. The heading. Why the hell had he written 'dear'? He had no definite idea of how Harry would react to that. The letter was ready to be sent, it even had Harry's name written on the outside. Mentally slapping himself, he copied out the letter on another piece of parchment, changing the offending heading.
The owl (Hedwig- was it a she?) seemed to sense he was done, because she returned to his side. Sirius held out the two letters. "Which one do I send?" He knew it didn't understand him, but it knew Harry best, right? He sighed and set down the rolled up letter. After dipping the quill in ink, he wrote Harry's name neatly on the front. He set the stuff back on the bedside table and turned back to the owl. It was gone. Sirius gave a very loud 'hey!', and heard the red-headed kid groan something in his sleep that sounded suspiciously like 'Stop it, Fred'.
Sirius groaned. The owl had gone without taking his letter. Now he'd have to wait for Madame Pomfrey to get up. He took his edited letter, which had been clutched in his hand, and set it on top of the food tray. He looked for the first version of the letter with the intention of throwing it away so Madame Pomfrey wouldn't accidentally send it or do anything of the sort. He searched the bed and the table, but it was gone. His stomach gave an odd sort of lurch. Had the owl taken the letter?
He got off the bed, wincing as his feet touched the cold floor. He definitely felt better than he had a week ago, though he couldn't quite say if it was because of Madame Pomfrey's treatment or because he knew Harry and Remus didn't hate him. Sirius lifted the blankets off the bed, hoping he'd somehow lost it in there. He was on his knees, looking under the bed, when he heard the sound of someone running in the corridor leading to the hospital wing. With wild thoughts of Fudge sending orders for him to be taken in the dead of night, Sirius decided to stay where he was.
The door to the hospital wing opened and someone ran in. Realizing Fudge would attempt no such thing right under Dumbledore's nose, he straightened up and made his way to the opening between the curtains. Before he could reach the curtains, they seemed to open of their own accord. Before he could process what was happening, Harry was standing in front of him, his body wrapped in the invisibility cloak, only his head was visible. He was pale, but he looked as if he'd run all the way to the hospital wing. He was grinning nervously.
"Harry? What are you doing here?" Sirius looked at Harry, confused. Harry's nervous grin disappeared.
"I...uh... I couldn't sleep. It just seemed like a good idea." Harry answered apologetically. "I'm sorry if I woke you. Filch almost caught me, and-"
Sirius shook his head, trying to clear it. "I was awake. I was looking for... uh, never mind. Sit down."
Harry took off the cloak and folded it. "Dumbledore gave it back."
Sirius nodded, and climbed back in bed. He'd wanted to talk to Harry, and now he had the perfect opportunity to do so.
"You look better." Harry finally said. Sirius gave him a half grin.
"That's not saying much, I'm told. I don't want to think about how I must have looked to you in the shrieking shack."
Harry seemed to think about it for a minute before turning his attention to the window. "Pretty warm tonight."
Sirius stared. The weather? Harry had come to talk about the weather?
"My dad..." he hesitated for second, "What would he have done?" Harry was still facing the window, but Sirius could tell he was looking at him out of the corner of his eye.
"I hate to admit it, but James would have done the same thing you did. He wouldn't have wanted us to hurt Wormtail either."
"That's not what I meant." Harry answered quietly. "I mean, had everything been different... if he hadn't died. If Voldemort had been after one of you and Pettigrew betrayed you, would my dad have tried to kill him?"
Sirius was stuck. He stared at Harry, shocked. He'd expected normal questions like 'what did my dad do for a living?', not 'would my father have become a killer to avenge you?' What was he supposed to say? Harry was studying him quietly, trying to interpret the emotions going through his face. The kid was too bright for his own good.
"James..." Sirius sat there for moment, trying to figure out exactly what James would have done, and if he should tell Harry. "If that red-headed boy betrayed your friend, the curly haired girl, what would you do? You're too young to want to kill-"
"That's not true." Harry muttered, looking away. Sirius mentally smacked himself. Not a good thing to say.
"What I'm trying to say, is that when someone does that to you... Your father knew the value of a human life. Even Peter's. I'd love to tell you that your father would have spared Peter's life and forgiven him, but that's not what you need to hear. You want to hear the truth, and I can't lie to you. Times were different-"
"I get it." Harry answered simply. He took the invisibility cloak and wrapped it tightly around himself.
"There's some blankets at the foot of the bed... I'm not using them, and I know that cloak isn't exactly good for staying warm."
"I know." Harry lifted his feet and put them on the bed frame. He looked quite odd with only his head and shoes visible.
"Are you going to talk to Remus tomorrow?"
"I won't be in his class tomorrow." Harry answered with what Sirius thought must be a shrug.
"You won't be in his class because you're not gonna go, or because you simply don't have him?" Sirius asked suspiciously.
"A little bit of both, I think. I have a lot of work to do, so I'm going to try to miss my first two classes, and I've heard he's resigned."
Sirius practically jumped off the bed. "Resigned?" he croaked. Harry nodded.
"Dean and Seamus were talking about it earlier."
"He can't have resigned," Sirius began with a frown. "He didn't hurt anyone..."
Harry did not answer. Sirius lay back against the pillows. "I caused more damage than anyone."
"You didn't kill anyone."
Sirius frowned. "If he hadn't done it, I probably would have. I hate to do this to you, Harry, but you wanted to kill me for the same crime Wormtail committed," Harry looked down, "I don't see why you would be so angry at Remus."
"I'm not mad at him."
"Well, then, why are you acting like you are?"
"I'm not. I just... I don't trust him anymore. He never even told me who he really was."
"Dumbledore told him not to."
"Why would Dumbledore tell him to keep the truth from me? And even if he did, that shouldn't have mattered. He should have said something anyway. "
" You produce a damn good Patronus, Harry." Harry's eyebrows shot up inquisitively. "Tell me, who taught you how?"
Harry did not answer and instead looked down at his now-dangling feet.
"We were like brothers, your father and us three. I know you've been told this before, but you're very much like James; both in looks and personality. How do you think he felt not being able to tell you anything? I can bet you that after every single one of your meetings he agonized over the fact that he was going against Dumbledore's orders by getting close to you."
Silence.
"You're not making too much sense, Harry. You're mad because he should have been an important part of your life and wasn't, but now you're pushing him away?"
"You were in Azkaban. What's his excuse? He never tried to contact me, and he didn't work at Hogwarts before. Dumbledore couldn't give him orders."
"You think Dumbledore's power over Remus doesn't reach outside Hogwarts? Remus feels like he owes Dumbledore everything. In any case, the ministry wouldn't have let him."
"Well, why doesn't he tell me that himself?"
"Because you haven't given me a chance to," came a soft voice from the shadows. Lupin moved the curtain and stepped into the room completely.
"I came to say goodbye, Sirius, but I see you're busy. I'll owl you as soon as I can."
"Wait, where are you going?" Sirius frowned.
"I'm not sure, really. I'll find a place; I always do."
"You can't leave. Do you think Dumbledore's going to allow it?" Sirius insisted.
"He already has; I resigned earlier today. What happened to Severus?"
"I heard he escaped Madam Pomfrey by threatening her at wandpoint and locked himself in his dungeon."
Harry seemed to forget himself for a second and grinned. His eyes made contact with Lupin's and the grin slid off his face instantly. "I better go, it's late and I have to get up early to catch up on all my work."
Sirius nodded. "G'night."
Harry stood up and wrapped the invisibility cloak around himself. Lupin moved aside to let Harry through, but Sirius noticed he didn't even glance at Lupin as he passed.
Sirius waited until he heard the door to the hospital wing close before taking his pillow and trying to smother himself with it. "Stubborn little berk, just like his father." Sirius mused affectionately, though rather muffled.
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No notes today. Well, only apologies for taking so long. I must admit I totally forgot I had half of this chapter laying around. ^_^ I know it's a bit shorter than usual, but I couldn't find a better place to end it. I'm afraid I stuck humor (or attempted humor) in some odd parts. It was on purpose, I assure you. It's supposed to add to the effect. (keyword being 'supposed to')
Extra thanks to snickerdoodle10201, whose review reminded me I hadn't updated. ^_^