Oh man, good times last chapter. But what will happen now? Will our fearless group(s) of adventurers be able to not stab each other? Do you think Kikyo still carries that knife that she got Inuyasha with in that episode where he used male hugging trickery technique on her? Doesn't that seem like a really good stabbing knife? Do you think maybe it's just for cutting herbs and flowers and stuff, and I just like the idea of stabbing so much that any knife I see is immediately a stabbing knife? Does it bother you that I have the character's lives in my hands and all I can talk about is stabbing knives? And sword-chucks…well, those don't exist, but…
*****
Something Is Real
Part 11
*****
"I was thinking." Kagura ventured as she sat across from her silent companion, eating fish while her Shinidamachuu brought her the occasional soul. "We really need a plan."
"I have a plan." Kikyo told her, voice calm and countenance smooth. Kagura arched in eyebrow and finished her mouthful before venturing to inquire further.
"For real? What is it?" She asked, her red eyes glinting in the neatly constructed fire she herself had made. She liked making things. It made her feel useful.
"We find Naraku. We attack. We die." Kikyo shooed away a final soul carrier, apparently having had her fill. "I go back to hell. Do you want to come with me?"
"You are not as funny as you think you are." Kagura grumbled, biting viciously into her fish.
"I'm not being funny, I'm being realistic." Kikyo blinked at her soberly. "I told you from the beginning what happens to little birds who can't fly away once they've been freed. Their masters eat their souls."
"You're so melodramatic." Kagura tossed the rest of her fish in the fire, feeling angry and frustrated because she knew it wasn't all that dramatic. It was as close to the truth as things could get. They were going after Naraku with no plan, no strategy, no weapons, no hope. It was ridiculous.
"Do you have a plan?" Kikyo asked after some time.
"I don't know. Maybe…I think it's just that there is only the two of us, and you'll do a lot more than me since you know…he can kill me really easily. It isn't going to be very effective." Kagura sighed and bit her lip, staring at the fire. "If we just had more people, then maybe we could come up with something."
"I do not like involving others." Kikyo opined primly.
"Yes, I know that." Kagura rolled her eyes. "But…you know, there are already a lot of people out to kill Naraku! We could just go find some and team up with them. We could help out. It would be better than this suicide plan we have right now."
Kikyo glared at her silently before getting up and walking away from the clearing. Kagura rolled her eyes again and then shook her head in frustration with herself. If she was always challenging Kikyo and saying things like that…maybe the woman wouldn't like her anymore. Maybe she wouldn't want to be her friend anymore. And then…Kagura would be alone. Again. She didn't think she could handle that at this point, with things already going so poorly. Biting her lip nervously she got up and went after the pale woman, who was only a short distance from the clearing, looking out at the moon.
"I know where he is." She spoke before Kagura could say anything. "That is what he does to me. He chains me so tightly, that no matter how far I go, I can feel him. I can sense him at almost any time. He is inexorably tied to my soul. And yet, what is one to do when one's soul is not one's own anymore?"
"Kikyo?" Kagura didn't really know what to say to Kikyo when she was being mysterious and deep, so she settled for curious silence.
"So. More people. I knew that I was making a mistake allowing you along. And now we are comrades, so I cannot simply refuse you." Kikyo let out a long suffering sigh, "And so I suppose there is nothing for it but to go to the man I love and hate more than any other."
"Um…who?" Kagura was at a loss. Didn't Kikyo hate Naraku most? Or was she just being biased?
"Inuyasha." Kikyo turned, her eyes glinting a silver shade of slate in the moonlight, and she headed back toward the fire. "We shall go in the morning if that is what you wish."
"Wait…um, they hate me." Kagura immediately saw problems with this plan. "I've tried to kill them on several occasions, and I don't think they'll let me by."
"Kouga forgave you." Kikyo answered, leaving Kagura stricken and pale at the edge of the clearing.
"No…" she managed, feeling sad and lost and foolish. Why did this bother her so much?
"I will tell you a secret, Kagura." Kikyo spoke up as she sat down next to the fire, getting comfortable as though she honestly needed sleep. "Men are stupid."
"And?" Kagura was waiting for something a lot more enlightening than that. She had figured that out when she was barely a week old.
"They say stupid things they don't mean. You must learn to hear the things they do not say." Kikyo told the wind youkai, who took a curious step into the clearing.
"What do you mean?" Kagura wanted to know. She wanted to hear Kikyo tell her something that would make her heart light. She wanted to know something real. And Kikyo was always telling her things like that. It made Kagura value her friendship all the more.
"I watched you two." Kikyo explained as Kagura sat down next to her, eyes wide and curious as a child's. "I heard the words, but the eyes told a different story. He does not hate you so very much, Kagura. You should allow your heart to hear what your ears cannot."
"I…see." Kagura didn't really understand, but she wanted it to be true. Kouga didn't hate her? She wanted that to be true, and yet… "I'll probably never see him again."
"Do not judge so quickly, sweet bird." Kikyo's lips quirked in the barest of smiles. "The red string of fate has brought so many lives together, and it cannot be snapped as simply as you suggest. I would not be surprised if the wolf is seen hunting again."
"Do you always have to talk like that?" Kagura asked, dropping her chin into one hand, letting out a long breath in exasperation.
"Like what?" Kikyo blinked at her as though honestly confused, and Kagura felt herself smiling. It was amazing how someone with seemingly no sense of humor could make her do that so often. Maybe she was just so happy to not be alone…
"Never mind." Kagura settled herself down for the night and yawned slightly. "Kikyo?"
"Yes?" the woman wasn't pretending to sleep. She wouldn't sleep even when Kagura got up for her shift watching out for enemies. She never slept.
"I hope we win." Kagura offered the solemn woman a bright smile before closing her eyes, not expecting any sort of response even as Kikyo eyed her, blinking in surprise before her face softened and she gave a short nod.
"Me too."
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"Please, if I could talk to you for a moment." Kohaku had waited until he was sure that Rin was asleep before approaching her eternally glaring guardian. "I need to ask a favor."
"I think you are in no place for asking favors of me." Sesshoumaru told the boy, his voice a tad sharper than normal. He didn't feel well about that boy standing close to his Rin, always smiling and laughing and talking with her and seeming so friendly. Rin was perfectly happy with Jaken and him and she had no need for throwaway extensions that were shadows of youkai girls and crazy taijiya boys that should be dead. She only needed him. And Jaken, that was acceptable as well, he supposed. Jaken did a fair job of watching out for her when he was indisposed, although he had obviously failed this afternoon. And as a result, they were now dragging two tagalongs with their party, and while the girl was not nearly as irritating as that damnable noisy boy, he would rather they had both been swallowed by the earth before they had a chance to intrude upon his perfectly constructed world.
"No, it's not something…I don't think you will mind it much." Kohaku was afraid to meet Sesshoumaru's eyes still. Sesshoumaru noted this with no small amount of satisfaction. Would it not have been endlessly amusing if he had accidentally slashed the boy in two with his cursed sword instead of Tenseiga. Well, certainly Rin would have cried, and that was never amusing, but it might have been worth a temporary sadness on her part to be sure that endlessly aggravating boy never came near her again. And why did he always insist on letting her grab his hand? Could he not tell her that he was not someone who could care for her in any situation, and therefore if she wanted a hand to hold, Sesshoumaru still had a perfectly good one on his intact arm. It was much stronger than this stupid weakling human boy's arm.
"What is it?" Tearing his arms off would be exceedingly simple as well as intensely satisfying. In addition, he would still be alive, and therefore Rin would not have a reason to cry. Also, she would not hold his hand if he did not have hands. Also, he would be rendered incapable of accepting the flowers that Rin handed him, so careless of the fact that she had picked none for her lord and master, the great Sesshoumaru. It was not as if he enjoyed having flowers picked for him. He was a terrifying youkai lord who could kill hundreds with the careless swipes of his poisoned claws, and he did not care for daisy crowns or wildflower bouquets, but he was still appropriately gracious of her efforts to please him. He may not thank her with words like that uppity whelp of a castaway tool, but the tilt of his head, acknowledging her fully, was certainly more than enough expression of his thanks. And he did usually carry the flowers, no matter how undignified it seemed, simply because it was the gracious thing to do.
"I have to leave." Kohaku told him, and Sesshoumaru was momentarily surprised. However, he had spent so much time hiding his emotions and reactions so completely that the boy had no way of spotting the shock that his words inspired.
"Yes you do." Sesshoumaru decided to pretend that Kohaku was simply smart enough to obey the wishes that the youkai lord had been thinking on all afternoon. "Is the favor that I spare your life for you to escape and never return?"
"Uh…well, I was thinking you'd throw that one in. I don't think either of us wants to upset Rin." Kohaku's face softened, and it was obvious even as he stared at the ground. "She's so innocent…I just wanted you to tell her that I have to find my sister. Tell her that when I do, I can see her again."
"You think I will allow you to return? Interesting." Sesshoumaru arched a regal eyebrow the slightest amount, so that he seemed only vaguely intrigued by this irritating thorn in his side.
"She'll miss me." Kohaku insisted.
"You think too highly of yourself, boy." Sesshoumaru retorted.
"You think too highly of…no, I'm sorry." Kohaku was at this point so afraid that he was visibly trembling. "Never mind."
"Speak freely, boy. You have no need of bruising my self-image." Sesshoumaru spoke in a tone as snide as it was icy. "It is clear that you like me as little as I like you, though you owe me your life."
"I do, that is true." Kohaku agreed, calming slightly. "But that doesn't mean you can be so condescending all the time."
"Boy, you hardly deserve—"
"Not to me, to Rin!" he hissed vehemently, jumping back in shock at his own forcefulness. "I just…think that if you care so much about her, you should be nicer to her. She's only a little girl. Do you understand what it is to be a child and have no one to listen to you? No one to love you? Did you even know what happened to her family before she met you? Did you ever bother to ask?"
"She is my retainer, I have no need of such knowledge." Sesshoumaru insisted haughtily.
"That's the attitude that'll make her leave you. She can do that, you know. She adores you, but I could take her away so easily. She's afraid of you, at least a little. Doesn't that bother you?" Kohaku wanted to know.
"It is a healthy fear. I am not someone she could ever stand up against." Sesshoumaru wondered at the sinking in his chest.
"Should she ever have to stand up against you?" Kohaku shook his head. "She loves you more than anything else, but she'll still leave if you treat her this way. You need to open your eyes and see the world beyond your own nose."
"You need to mind your own business." Sesshoumaru spoke back. "Will you leave now, then?"
"Yes. Kanna's ready. I just wanted…to tell you." Kohaku shook his head and backed away. "Remember what I said. She's a very special girl." And with a leap, he was gone. Sesshoumaru's golden gaze fell to a small girl sleeping awkwardly on Ah-Un's saddle, one hand acting as a pillow, her other holding onto he edge in the practiced way that she always kept from falling off while sleeping. Sighing deeply, he stood and straightened his immaculate clothing.
Rin, leave him. It was ludicrous. He was her entire world. Her universe. And yet…the idea still bothered him. It still nagged at the back of his head. It made him nervous and anxious, and it caused strange thoughts to enter his head. Ideas like picking her up and letting her sleep in his lap, telling her how important she was to him, giving her a kiss on her cute little forehead. She was his Rin, and he would protect her from all things that might threaten. And that was more than enough.
She knew that he loved her.
And that had to be enough.
He knew it was enough.
And yet…his heart ached. He could not lose a child so dear.
He reached forward to pick her up, but stopped halfway and simply patted her head. That was more than enough to convey his affection. It bordered on inappropriate, though she was still a child, she was his servant and never allowed to touch him casually.
But were there any rules about him touching her?
Her hair smelled like daisies. It calmed his heart.
*****
The End (Of Part 11, That Is)
This chapter is dedicated to the totally freaking sweet Kris-chan who drew me a beautiful picture that rules. I love it!