Okay, I just have to say that as much as I love Bill Murray and I thought Lost in Translation was a good movie, but when he beat Johnny Depp and got the Golden Globe, I was forced to shout "injustice!" because NO one can defeat Captain Jack Sparrow. And seriously, think about it. Johnny is just three billion times sexier. Oh yeah. Also, I feel they should have a "most glompable" category, and Billy Boyd will win because I love Pippin with all of my heart! I know, I seem like a dork right now, but I'm sure anyone reading anime fanfiction (or writing it, for that matter) is far past the stage of worrying whether or not they are a dork. At that point, it is simply too late. You can't fool yourself if you know that…
*****
Something Is Real
Part 18
*****
Dinner passed in silence, and it seemed everyone was trying to digest the situation, to understand that this might well be their last peaceful night together. Perhaps their last night alive. Certainly the battle ahead was not to be taken lightly. Even Inuyasha and Shippo did nothing to lighten the somber mood. No bickering, no food battles, Miroku did not grope anyone, and no one felt the need to slap him and call him various insulting names. No one did anything to get on the nerves of anyone else. Other than what had happened before Kikyo's announcement, of course. After some time, those gathered grew restless and seemed to dissipate into the surrounding woods to have some time alone.
Kagura didn't realize at first that only Kouga and her remained sitting beside the fire. She was too busy examining her lacquered nails with limited interest and trying to ignore the acrobatics her stomach was doing at the moment. Then he cleared his throat slightly, moving to sit next to her, and she smiled at him nervously.
"Worried?" Kouga asked her, sitting down and turning his head to speak in a low tone.
"Kanna and I are ready to die." She answered after a thoughtful pause. "I know I am, at least. But it's still…scary. I thought…it wouldn't matter. I thought that I didn't have anything I wanted to do or needed to do other than…just this. Just to be free. But I guess that now…I keep thinking too much about things I've never done. It's stupid, I guess. Even knowing for sure that I'll die…I feel so worried for Kanna. For everyone. For myself. And what if…what if he wins in spite of it all? Can anyone else stop him?"
"Everything's so black and white for you." Kouga snorted slightly. "You don't know you'll die. And even if one of us goes down, you know about Sesshoumaru's sword."
"Like he'd save me." Kagura frowned. "I'm detestable, remember? I should have been nicer to him, I guess."
"No, I don't think so." Kouga disagreed. "You're Kagura. And Kagura always says what she believes no matter what other people think. That's one of the best things about her."
"You…think so?" Kagura looked up at him.
"It's a good way to live. I keep stuff hidden for no good reason, and see what happens? I wanted so much to be with Kagome, but she's in love with Inuyasha. Not that he can talk seriously either…but yeah. And now, there's no time for me to say everything I should to everyone who needs to hear it." Kouga explained.
"Don't feel like that. I keep secrets, too." Kagura told him. "And you can tell me anything you want. I won't get mad. Well, not too mad…I think." Kouga laughed and Kagura felt herself blush as she turned to look away. "Don't laugh. I was being serious."
"Okay, okay." Kouga calmed himself, looking at Kagura as though gathering courage. "It's hard to say."
"What?" Kagura hadn't believed he'd tell her anything, but when she turned to him, his face was serious.
"About before," he started, looking like he couldn't quite find the right words. "About everything…I'm glad. That I met you, I mean. That I got to know you better than most people. I really thought I hated you. But I hated myself for not stopping it from happening. And when I saw that, I realized that I'm not mad at you anymore. I…forgive you, Kagura."
"Really?" It took a long time for Kagura to speak, her eyes wide, her mouth dry.
"I should've told you before." He rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment before any further speech was cut off by a hug so forceful he was almost winded.
"Thank you." Her voice was trembling, but her arms were clutched tight around his neck. "Thank you so much. If I could have asked for one thing before I died, it would've been that." Kouga didn't know what to say, but somehow he felt it was right to let his arms encircle her lightly, to hold her as she continued to cling to him. He felt himself wondering if it was possible to hold the wind. After all, that was what she was, and he had a feeling that it should be something exceedingly difficult. In a way…it was hard. It hurt some part of him, but it was a dull ache, and it somehow felt as though he was touching something tender inside, something that had long been wounded and left untouched and unhealed. How could Kagura touch it?
"I didn't know it meant so much to you." He spoke again after some time, his mind whirling as he tried to place exactly what it was that Kagura's hair smelled like.
"I wanted to be your friend. I don't have a lot of friends, you know, and I really do like you." Kagura's words tumbled out on top of each other. She looked up, her lips twitching in a nervous smile as she let go of Kouga. "Sorry. I'm so…stupid sometimes."
"No," Kouga turned back to the fire, feeling a lot better. "You're just Kagura."
----------
Kagome felt restless, but she hated wandering around without a reason, so she took a flashlight and went to look for some herbs to top off her first aid kit. She had just found a nice patch of plants that numbed pain when a light rustling caused her to look up just as Kikyo sat to help her.
"I was—"
"I know." The dead miko cut Kagome off, plucking the plants carefully from the patch where they were growing, not looking up from her task. "Fear is thick tonight. Excitement as well. Anticipation."
"Kikyo, how old were you when you…" Kagome realized what she was going to say about halfway through the question and stopped herself, blushing furiously. "Sorry, you probably don't like talking about death and all that."
"I don't mind." Kikyo answered. "I have been dead far too long for it to be a touchy subject. I was seventeen."
"I just wondered because…you know so much." Kagome felt embarrassed, but pressed on. "Were you this wise when you died?"
"Maybe if I had been, I wouldn't have died." Kikyo paused to look at Kagome. "I see much of who I was when I look at you. With training, you could be a great miko indeed. But it would change you, just as it did me."
"What do you mean?" Kagome asked.
"You have trust and more compassion than ever I remember. You truly love Inuyasha, in a way that I never was able to. Trust in that, Kagome, and there is nothing to fear. A heart that is strong may yet triumph over all." Kikyo stood then, and without another word she was gone, leaving Kagome to mull over her thoughts.
----------
Tomorrow it would end. Inuyasha stared at the clear night sky as he rested high in the treetops. Tomorrow he would make sure. No more escapes. No more tricks. Inuyasha would die if it gave him the vengeance that he had sought for so long now. But he had Kagome to think of. Kikyo, who he owed his life to. Sango, Miroku, Shippo. His family.
"Inuyasha." The smooth baritone nearly made the hanyou fall, but he collected himself admirably and turned to the nearby intruder, perched only feet from where he had been lounging.
"What do you want?" he spluttered angrily, standing so that Sesshoumaru would not look down his nose at him in that regal manner he always affected.
"I wish to speak with you." The answer was so surprising Inuyasha gaped for nearly a full minute before recovering.
"About what? How you don't need my help and how I'm probably going to die tomorrow?" Inuyasha's tone was shaken, but still snide.
"It is true that you may die. That is why I must be frank." Sesshoumaru sighed slightly, seeming very put out indeed. "I made a promise to father long ago, and I will not have you die without fulfilling my obligation." Inuyasha fell silent at this, though he was clearly searching for the proper scathing remark with which to respond. "He told me once that it might fall upon me. He explained that he would not live to see you as an adult. I thought him foolish at the time, or perhaps overly cautious. I could not see how such a great lord would ever die. But I suppose that I was young, and he did die in the end. I hated you then. He died protecting that human wretch and her whelp."
"You mean me." Inuyasha interrupted, looking rather irate.
"Of course." Sesshoumaru seemed insulted at the very insinuation that their father might have sired more than one hanyou child. "Anyway, he wanted me to protect you and be sure that you grew up strong. Even though I blamed you for his death, I fulfilled those promises. It is true that we have done nothing but fight for as long as you might recall, but I did make sure that you were safe in my own way. I thought that if you knew you were under my guard you would become…difficult, and so I was secretive about my actions. I trained you thoroughly and now you have grown into a capable fighter, just as father requested."
"Why tell me all this now?" Inuyasha wanted to know.
"He made a third request that I have yet to honor." Sesshoumaru admitted. "I thought it was idiotic, and had thrown it away from me, but now I have decided to finish what father started. I am…supposed to tell you."
"Tell me what?" Inuyasha asked, actually curious at this point.
"He wanted you to always remember that there are two parts to you that are of equal importance. Your youkai strength and honor, giving you the ability to defend yourself and others, to fight for what you believe in and win those things most important to you." Sesshoumaru paused then, looking hesitant before he continued. "And your human side. Sensitivity, compassion, and love that is so powerful it can be blinding. He said he envied you those things, and that they were his gift to you. What is the use of having so much power if you have nothing to defend and no one to care for? He wanted you to remember this."
"That's so stupid." Inuyasha grumbled.
"Inuyasha!" Sesshoumaru's anger flared then, bright white and stronger than Inuyasha had ever seen outside of battle. "You are a fool to ignore our father's advice! He was much wiser than you will ever be. Even now, I learn things from him."
"Fine." He backed down. "I was just kidding, anyway." There was a long silence as Inuyasha leaned casually against the tree. "So…yeah, tomorrow."
"The end of all this." The older youkai was still standing with his back straight as a board. "It has been a long time coming, and I must admit that I never imagined that I would have so many…"
"Companions?" Inuyasha supplied, an ironic smirk on his face.
"Exactly right." Sesshoumaru ignored the jibing tone in which it had been said. "I have long since stopped depending on others. But I must say this, Inuyasha." There was a silence, a wait, anticipation in the air, though Inuyasha looked like he was lounging, he was clearly taking his brother seriously. "I would be proud to have you at my side on that day."
"Same here."
----------
"And this one is good, because it's the color of the tie he uses on his yukata." Rin explained as she picked a deep blue flower to add to the bouquet she was making. "We need more yellow, because that's the color of happiness."
"It's so dark, how can you even see the flowers?" Kohaku was not entirely pleased with the task he had been inadvertently recruited for. "Most of them are closed for the night."
"But if you put them in water, in the morning when he wakes up they'll open up and then they'll be even brighter than before." She explained as she knelt over a patch of flowers and considered each in turn. "And I can see just fine because the moon is giving me light." Rin indicated the waxing ball of light high above them.
"Yeah, but…" Kohaku looked around. He had to say something. He was still young, but he knew that there was a good chance that tomorrow, he might die. And he couldn't let that happen without telling Rin everything he wanted to tell her. However, it was hard to bare his soul when she was picking flowers for the always-important Sesshoumaru. "Don't you think we should get back? It's getting late, and I don't know if it's very safe around here. With Naraku close, and all that."
"Kohaku's here, though!" she reminded him cheerily as she bundled the flowers together and began attempting to tie them with a piece of thick grass. This was something she was still mastering, and one of the few skills Kagura had demonstrated for her that had not sent Sesshoumaru into fits of silent rage. "I'm not afraid."
"Oh…well, that's good, then." He blushed in the dark, wondering if the moonlight was enough to show off the stain on his cheeks. He hoped it wasn't. "Rin?"
"Yeah?" she was on her third piece of grass, which she was frowning out in an adorable fashion as she tried to tie it without breaking it in half.
"Um, do you ever think…of…um, when you grow up?" he began, feeling more than a little nervous. The only thing that kept him going was knowing that if he didn't get it out now, he might never say it to her. Tomorrow, he might die.
"Yeah." She smiled brightly at him and picked a fourth piece of grass, going back to her work diligently.
"Well…I just…you want help with that?" he offered, feeling a bit scared to continue with his line of conversation.
"No, I have to learn how for myself." She insisted.
"Oh. Well." He licked his lips. Why were they so dry? Could she really not see how nervous he was? "Well." There was a long silence, broken only when Rin gasped and held up her bouquet in delight.
"I did it!" she giggled in complete triumph. "Do you think he'll like it? Is it pretty enough?"
"Uh…sure." Kohaku felt so stupid. Why was he even thinking she'd listen to him?
"I'm gonna go show him!" she leapt up, but at the last second, in a moment of panic, he caught her arm. "Kohaku-kun?"
"Rin." He swallowed, licked his lips, then swallowed again. "I'm…we're…about the same age, right?"
"You're a little older." She agreed. "But close to the same, yeah."
"So." He was stuck again. Why was this so hard? "So…do you think…sometimes…if we were older, I mean…Rin."
"What are you trying to say, Kohaku-kun?" her eyes were wide, grey, and utterly guileless. She really had no idea what he was trying to do, did she? "Kohaku-kun?"
"Rin, when we…grow up." This was stupid. He wasn't saying anything. So he did what he thought was best, leaning forward and pressing his lips to hers. The kiss was short, chaste, and somewhat clumsy, but it got his message across, and he came out of it blushing to the roots of his hair. "Will…you…be with me?"
"I…um." Rin now seemed confused, which was very rare for her. She was young, and naïve, but she didn't seem to worried about what she didn't understand. She would have plenty of time to learn those things while she grew up. "Um…"
"What I mean is," Kohaku was feeling more confident now that she was so obviously struck still. "I mean, will you be at my side. Like…like my sister and Miroku? Will you…um…if we…and we're grown up…marry me, that is." Now he was scared again. Terrified.
"Kohaku-kun…wants to marry me?" Rin's voice was still confused. There was a long silence, and he tried to search her face for expression in the dark, but all he could see was how bright her grey eyes were. "But…I can't marry you."
"Why?" he wasn't about to give up now that he'd finally gotten the words out.
"Sesshoumaru-sama wouldn't like that." She began.
"It doesn't matter what he likes! It matters what you want, Rin! You can't just always listen to him and never think about yourself. What is your dream?" he asked her, furious at her view.
"My dream?" Rin was struck, but her answer came swiftly enough that it was clear she already had decided this question long ago. "To grow into a beautiful lady. So that I can marry Sesshoumaru-sama and stay with him forever."
Kohaku dropped her hand. What could he say to that? What was there to say? He couldn't understand it, but there it was. She was obsessed with the lord, and he wondered if she'd really follow that dream. "Oh."
"I'm sorry, Kohaku-kun." She seemed upset that he was obviously disappointed. "But I can't marry both of you."
"No, I guess not." He sighed, then brightened slightly. "If…if you decide that you want me instead…you can always…"
"Yeah." She smiled up at him. He was amazed that she understood. She really was growing up, after all. "Let's go back, Kohaku-kun. It's late."
"Yeah."
*****
The End (Of Part 18, That Is)