Oh no! Vicious doom battle! Things are moving pretty fast, so what will be the result of all this fighting panic? Is Kanna really gone? Will everyone be able to recover? Is Kikyo really going to sacrifice herself like this? Will Inuyasha's singing voice be forever ruined? Will Kagura have a nervous breakdown? Is she already having one? She just needs to breathe and see for herself…
*****
Something Is Real
Part 24
*****
One hit was all she was able to throw, but when she saw her blades cut through Naraku and Kikyo indiscriminately, Kagura collapsed. She was screaming again, a tormented sound that pierced through the wind and the ground splitting and the spells and the blows landing and being thrown. How was this fair? How was this right? She had said she would be one of the first to die. She had died, but now, she was fine. No one else could enjoy that, though. Naraku had seen to that. Even if they could be saved, what about Kanna? She was lost inside of him. Kikyo would go to hell, and she would not leave a body behind. Her body, as it was, could not be revived in any case except through the healing powers of souls.
Her wounds wouldn't hurt her for long. She'd be in hell, soon. Tormented for eternity, paying for sins that Kagura felt sure could not warrant so much pain as what the woman had already suffered through. Or maybe she was spared that, and existed peacefully enough, waiting for the time when she would be reincarnated. Into Kagome…someone so different, and so similar all at once. As long as Kagome could be saved, Kagura was saving a piece of Kikyo, wasn't she?
Or maybe she was just going crazy, breaking under the pressure even though they were so close to the end. Through tears, she could see the light escaping the ground, Kikyo's soul snatchers forming a mournful, intermingling dance over their mistress' head as she sank deeper, blood pouring and seeping and mixing with that of the monster she clung to so desperately. It was all down to her, it seemed. She would end it all with her selfless sacrifice. It seemed so like Kikyo, to save them quietly, without asking for anything.
What are you looking for?
An answer…she needed an answer. Was this all worth it? What were they even fighting for, really? Did Naraku really matter so much? Would she be willing to lose Kikyo's life so that Naraku might leave? And Kanna's as well?
Something real. Something that makes me feel alive. Something that lasts. Something wonderful. I can't lose it now.
What was true, anyway? What was real? Nothing. Nothing lasted. Nothing was wonderful. Everything was death. Everything hurt.
It makes life sweeter to have hardships.
Maybe. But it still stung. It still ached so deep that it felt like she was being pulled apart. But to know that Kanna was gone, to see Kikyo disappearing into the ground, to feel the ache that left. That ache was not wonderful, but it did make her feel alive. It was something she could feel. Something she could touch. Something real.
But it wasn't what she was looking for. She'd never wanted this.
I will protect your life with my own. I will not let you die without having learned what that thing is.
She was still sobbing brokenly when someone picked her up, wrapping her in a warm embrace, whispering words of comfort that did not reach her, and leaping away from that place that made her insides hurt so much.
Kanna was gone.
Kikyo was gone.
It could have been so much worse, she knew that. But still…
Do…you know?
Yes. Something worth living for.
Was it worth it?
The world was blurring, focusing on the warmth around her and the coldness inside. Those two points opposed each other, but she clung to them.
They made her feel alive. Kikyo had wanted her to find that.
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Kouga had scooped up Kagura and fled the scene almost immediately after the ground closed up and an eerie silence filled the air. His exit prompted motion from the others, though. Inuyasha collapsed in a heap, blood still leaking steadily from the horrible wound on his throat. Kagome ran to his side. Sesshoumaru left as though he had nothing at the site that was of interest, obviously running back to Rin. Miroku moved to help the three unconscious wolves that were on the sidelines of the battle. Ginta stirred as he approached, and he was the first to speak out loud what they were all thinking.
"Is…he gone?" his voice was confused, but the silence was so thick, so oppressive, Miroku had a hard time breaking through it as well.
"Kikyo took him." At his words, Hakkaku stirred as well, finding strength that he'd lost before. "He's gone."
"Gone?" Hakkaku's voice shook slightly, like he couldn't believe it, like he could barely move. Probably both.
"Where's…Ayame?" Ginta sat up slowly, wincing at the pain as he did, and saw the girl still passed out nearby. "Is she…gonna be okay?"
"I will check on her." Miroku moved past the wolf to crouch next to the unmoving girl. Her bite was bleeding, but there was something about it that bothered Miroku more than that. "Her skin…it has turned purple here."
"What's that mean?" Ginta was trying to crawl over, but he wasn't doing a very good job of it. Hakkaku had given up on moving. "Is she…okay?"
"The bite." Miroku was feeling rather scared at the moment, digging through his robes for some sort of youki canceling spell that could get rid of the poison without killing Ayame in the process. "It was poisonous…Naraku's miasma is inside of her right now."
"That's bad…" Ginta had managed to get close enough to see the angry purple flesh now. "Right?"
"Indeed." Miroku stood and ran to Kagome, who was making the same discovery as him in relation to Inuyasha's wound. "Do you have anything?"
"Try this…Jinenji made it…I don't know if…" Kagome was crying, her shoulders shaking. It wasn't hard to see why. Inuyasha was not resisting, totally unresponsive as she pressed bandaging against a wound that had to hurt horribly. He wasn't moving at all, though. Miroku took the packet she handed him and ran back to Ayame's side, where Ginta was curled up, trying to tell her something, whispering in her ear.
"Not right now." Miroku moved him away as gently as he could. "Right now she needs this."
"Please…please save her." Ginta begged, utterly pathetic and not even worried about his dignity at the moment. "She means…a lot to me."
"I understand." Miroku did understand. If Naraku had bitten Sango this way, he would have been frantic. "I will do all that I can."
"Did…where's Kouga?" Hakkaku spoke up again. "So many are gone…"
"They're fine. Sango was hit, as was Kohaku, if you recall." Miroku summed up what they had missed. "They were sent back to the camp with Kirara, Shippo, and Jaken. They should all be fine. Kouga left with Kagura. She was…rather upset. Kikyo and Kanna were the only losses, and they were both…quite important to her. It must be a shock."
"Shock." Ginta nodded, still clutching at Ayame's cold hand. "Yeah."
Miroku set down, determined to fix this, to make it better. They had not wanted any losses, and while each was prepared to die, none of them were prepared to give up on what might be saved. That was how he felt.
He would save her.
He had to.
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"Calm down, Kagura." Kouga was really starting to worry about her. She wouldn't look at him, she wouldn't say anything. She had stopped crying quite as violently as before, but now she was just laying where he was holding her, next to the fire, hoping she would snap out of her daze and talk to him. Tears coursed down her face, and every once in a while, she would let out a low moan, at least letting him know she was still alive. Rin had run up to them when he had landed, but now she was tending to Kohaku and Sango without any further questions. She didn't seem to want to interfere as he cradled Kagura to him and rocked her soothingly, brushing the hair from her face and trying to keep her tears in check. "Calm down, please."
"Rin." Sesshoumaru landed in the camp as though he had never left. However, Rin immediately dropped the water she was carrying, running past Shippo and leaping at Sesshoumaru, who at the last moment caught her with his arm and brought her in close.
"Sesshoumaru-sama!" she had wrapped her arms around his neck, burrowing against his chest happily. "You're safe!"
"Of course." He answered, but he did not drop her. He did not loosen his grip. Even with one arm only, it was not hard to hold her. It felt…strangely nice. "I told you I would always return."
"You said you'd try." She reminded him. "You didn't promise for sure."
"I'm sorry to have worried you." He lowered her then, setting her on her feet. "I will always return to you, I promise."
"I love you," she threw her arms around his neck, planting a kiss on his surprised cheek. "I'll never leave you, either, Sesshoumaru-sama."
"I…am glad." He answered, seeming a bit embarrassed as Jaken, Shippo, and Kouga watched the scene unfolding. Kagura, of course, was so lost in herself that she saw nothing.
"Is everyone else okay?" Rin asked, letting go of Sesshoumaru so he could straighten and regain his dignity.
"Well…" Sesshoumaru wondered suddenly about Inuyasha. That wound had not been inconsequential. Perhaps he could go and check. It had just seemed most important at that moment to see Rin, to let her know he was coming back to her, to be sure that she was all right. She had long been the most important thing to him, he just didn't know how it had happened. "Two were lost."
Kouga had thought that Kagura was dead to the world, but at Sesshoumaru's words, she broke out in a long, low wail. He gave Rin and Sesshoumaru an apologetic look. "I'm sorry…she's still…really upset."
"To say the least." Sesshoumaru leaned down to tell Rin who was gone. Her face went pale and she bit her lip for a moment before turning around and running to Kagura, hugging the girl despite her awkward placement in Kouga's arms.
"Kagura," she let tears spill down her young cheeks as she spoke. "I'm sorry, I know you loved them both."
"Thanks, Rin." Kouga patted the young girl's head as she kissed Kagura's slightly twitching brow. "She's still…pretty sad."
"It is regrettable that not all of us could live to see this moment when Naraku is gone." Sesshoumaru spoke, more sympathetic than Kouga had ever expected him to be. "But all of us were willing to pay the price. We cannot choose who is to stay, and who must leave this world."
"That's true." He agreed. It had not been his intention for things to end this way. Of course, they had all expected the fight to be not completely successful, but they had never really understood that not all of them could survive. It was almost easier to think of dying yourself than having to deal with the deaths of your comrades. And while Kikyo had been a bit strange and Kanna was also rather odd, Kouga hated the fact that they could not either of them be saved. It made him feel like a failure, to himself, to his comrades, and mostly to Kagura, who was now so utterly crushed. Broken. Like a feather held too tightly and too roughly.
But he would not discard her. She was his comrade. His
friend. His…Kagura…
She was special to him.
"You…guys?" Sango's voice broke through his reverie, and he looked over to see her sitting up unsteadily. "Where…is Miroku?"
*****
The End (Of Part 24, That Is)