This story is so long!  I can't believe it's hit the 30 chapter mark!  It seems that…

Something Is Real

Part 30

"This is good." Kagura told Kouga as she ate the cooked scallops he had found that day.  "Really tender."

"Yeah, I wasn't sure how to cook them, but I thought boiling would work out." Kouga shrugged, never one to brag about his own passable cooking skills.  "I had some a few times when I was younger, but I never really asked how to make them.  That was the last time I really spent more than a few hours at the ocean."

"Who made them that time?" Kagura asked, blowing on the tender white meat held between the chopsticks she had brought with her for the trip.  Kagura loved eating with chopsticks, because her fingers didn't get dirty, but she could still grab things.

"My mom." He told her.  "She was from the Eastern tribe, originally." He explained, and she leaned forward, eager to hear something about Kouga's parents.  "She loved the ocean, growing up.  Their tribe lives a short run from the nearest beach, so she was the one that taught me about it.  How to swim, avoiding the undertow, waves and things, keeping away from rocks, catching food…" he paused, popping a scallop in his mouth and chewing it up as Kagura continued to listen to him.  "So when she was still alive, she used to take my sister and me out here.  We'd play in the water, she'd teach us the names of birds and animals and stuff like that."

"You…had a sister?"  Kagura nearly dropped her next scallop in surprise at this sudden information.  "I never knew that."

"Yeah, she…actually, she left the tribe when she was still just barely grown up to mate this wolf in the Eastern tribe.  I think she missed mom…after she died, Kinsha would come out here all the time.  I couldn't, really.  Dad had me busy, heading hunting parties, organizing patrols and stuff so I'd be ready when it was my turn to lead the tribe.  She met that guy, and they were mated as soon as she was old enough.  I was gonna come see her when I heard she was pregnant, but then…she…I guess she was out here, and she got too far from shore…some storm came up.  She never did listen to her instincts." Kouga sighed sadly.

"Were you two close?" Kagura asked, her voice soft.

"Yeah.  We were twins, see." He told her, and Kagura made a noise of shock.  So then, Kouga knew what it felt like, losing a sister.  He'd lost his mother too, obviously.  And his father.  So much to lose, and yet, he seemed fine, now.  Maybe the pain would lessen?

"Do you miss her still?" she wanted to know.

"I do." He admitted, tossing aside an empty scallop shell.  "She was…really smart.  Really beautiful.  She looked like mom, a lot.  Black hair, her eyes were blue, but not really like mine.  More purple, you know?  The shape was a little different, too.  And she was a girl, so obviously, she was a lot more pretty than a guy like me.  People said we looked alike, but I don't think so.  They just tried to think we did, since we were twins.  Our hair was close, but that was it.  Her skin was a lot paler than mine, too.  No matter how much time she spent outside, she never really darkened."

"I'm sorry." Kagura moved toward him, her eyes full of sympathy he knew was genuine.  Kagura could obviously understand what it was like to lose a sister.  "It hurts, doesn't it?" her voice shook as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, kissing the top of his head and holding him to her.  He let himself relax into the embrace, realizing that it was just as much for her sake as it was for his.  Of course, Kagura could still feel the pain of losing a sister, and even though Kinsha had died so long ago, he could still remember it, too.  It was something he never talked about.  But then, he talked about everything with Kagura.  Even the things that he had decided to forget.  She saw him, and no matter how many layers he peeled away and showed her the ugliness hiding underneath, she never judged.  She only nodded, in that way that said she knew what it must feel like to think yourself ugly.  But she didn't think he was ugly.  She thought he was a good person, no matter what he told her.

"It's just…shitty, being alone, you know." He sighed deeply, letting his head rest against her chest as she petted his hair slowly.  "I mean, not that I'm alone, really.  But losing your whole family, you know what it's like just as much, I guess."

"Yeah," she told him, watching her fingers glide carefully over his hair, stopping at his ponytail, and starting over again.  "But you know, I think we're like family to each other.  It sounds weird, but…"

"No, it doesn't." he pulled her tighter against him.  "It's not weird at all.  I want you to be my family, Kagura.  In my heart, you already are."

"Is that…what it means?" she asked, lowering herself to meet his eyes, her hand leaving his head to rest on his shoulder.  "For you…loving me, I mean."

"That's part of it." He had been thinking about this a lot, lately.  "And then, there's other things.  I put you above me.  When I think of what's important, I mean.  Your life is more important than mine.  And…I would do anything to make you happy.  Just being with you is, for me…it's what I want.  I want to see you first when I wake up, and last when I go to sleep.  I want to feel you next to me, and always know that you're there, waiting for me when I leave, missing me when you leave.  I want you to think I'm the most important.  I want you to love me, too.  I want to know everything there is to know about you.  I want you to trust me as completely as I trust you.  I want to see you smile.  It's a lot of things."

"When you say things like that…" Kagura's voice was low, purring, her breath hot on his cheek as she moved forward.  "It makes me want to be close to you…so close…" she kissed him then, pressing her lips firmly to his, and he responded immediately.  It was long, slow, warm, and sweet.  It was enough to tie Kouga's stomach in knots.  "I want to always be with you, Kouga.  You make me happy.  When you talk, even when we're arguing, you're always talking to me, making me feel special, making me feel important, like maybe I really am worth it.  If you died…if you left me, I think…I don't know what I'd do.  What would be the point, anymore?  You're the whole world, and without you, I don't think I can be who I am.  I'd die, I think.  You're the only one who understands me this way.  The only one I can tell everything to."

"You…do you love me?" Kouga's voice wavered.  She was so close.  This was so close.  This was what he had hoped for, the past two night, lying tucked close to Kagura, with her seeming so trusting and sweet, cuddled against him.  She liked to wake him with soft kisses on the throat.  Her feet were cold when she climbed into bed, so she tucked her knees up in front of her chest and made a little ball, letting his warmth seep into her so she could shift and get closer to him.  She liked to play with his hair, to touch it, to run her fingers through it, to press her face into it.  Everything she did…it drove him crazy, but he couldn't take her.  He cared too much to do that, not if she didn't feel the same.

"Is that what this is called?" she asked, her voice dreamy and soft.  "This feeling like we're connected, and it hurts in my chest for us to be very far apart for very long.  I miss you all the time when I can't see you.  I need you to be there."

"Yeah, that's what it's called." He nodded, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead.

"I must love you, then." She smiled brightly.  "I wanted it to be true.  I wanted so much for you to be happy, to keep looking at me this way."

"As long as I can see you, I'd be happy." He told her, his voice gentle.  "This is more than I really ever expected.  I hoped…but I was never sure."

"This…I think this is what she was saying." Kagura's eyes went wide, and she pulled back to look at him better.  "Before…right before, the night before.  She said there was something you had to show me…something great.  She said she'd die if it meant I could find it."

"Something real?" he asked, his eyes twinkling with the hints of a smile.

"You remember that?" Kagura blushed.  "I was stupid, back then."

"I didn't think so." He assured her.  "I thought you were something new, wonderful.  Different from anything I'd ever known.  That's what kept me coming back."

"And now?" she asked, tilting her head to one side.  "You know all about me.  I can't be exciting anymore."

"Just because I know your story doesn't mean I don't want you anymore." He told her. "At first, I said.  You kept me coming back, and then…then I fell in love with you, and you can't let go of something that means everything to you.  That's what you are to me, not just something new.  Something better than anything else."

"Kiss me again, Kouga." Kagura pleaded.  She hadn't really needed to ask.

Kouga wanted to wait, but that night, it was too much.  The emotions, the way she had to keep kissing him, feeling him, tasting him.

In the morning, they were well and truly mated.

And they were going home together.

----------

"He's so stupid sometimes." Kagura grumbled, sitting at the edge of a ledge with Ginta, who was working on sharpening his belt knife.  "I can do patrols just as good as anyone else here."

"From what I've seen of pregnant youkai, you'd probably be a lot better than even Kouga." Ginta chuckled slowly.

"I already was better." She insisted.  Ginta didn't bother treading on that subject.  They were friends, but he did not want to get involved in a fight between Kouga and Kagura.  Those were terrifying.

"Anyway, you can't really get mad at him." Ginta spoke as comfortingly as he could.  An angry Kagura was a scary Kagura.  An angry pregnant Kagura was a health hazard.  "He's just worried about something happening to you."

"He worries too much." She huffed.  "Why should I have to sit around all day and be bored?  This pregnancy is never going to end!  I'll go stir crazy."

"You could learn to cook with all the extra time." Ginta suggested.  Kagura's death glare made him yelp in fright.  "Or…maybe not.  You could just…sit here, then.  That sounds good."

"I think that it's healthy for me to keep moving while I'm all blown up like this." She continued presenting her case.  "Otherwise, I'll end up like a fat old auntie."

"I doubt that." Ginta snorted, blowing shavings off his knife and putting it back in its sheathe.  "You'll never be an auntie.  You'll be young until you die, Kagura."

"Is that a threat?" she teased him, giving him a look of mock horror.  "You wouldn't threaten an innocent, unborn child, would you?" she rubbed at her swollen stomach.  "Kouga would have your head for it if I told him."

"Damn straight I would." Kouga sat down beside her, and Ginta leapt up in shock.  "Calm down, I know it was just a joke."

"Eh, I just remembered." Ginta rubbed the back of his head.  "I have patrols in an hour."

"Good that someone can do them." Kagura sighed heavily.  "Kouga, this is so boring!  You have me totally domesticated!  I'm not a pet."

"It's only until the baby comes." He assured her, leaning over to kiss her cheek softly.  "I would never be able to keep you caged, Kags.  You're the wind, right?"

"Right." She verified, straightening her back, which only made her belly stick out more.  "But I guess for now…this is most important."

"Just let me take care of you." He smiled softly, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.  "You never need my help with anything.  This one time, let me."

"You say the stupidest things sometimes." She told him, rolling her eyes.  "You help me all the time.  What about after Naraku died?"

"That doesn't count." He insisted, his grin broadening as she let herself relax against him, her head lolling onto his shoulder and her arm snaking around his waist.  "That was the one time you couldn't fight me to stop me from doing what I wanted."

"Really?" she arched an eyebrow, her tone teasing.  "What exactly did you want to do?"

"Kagura!  I just meant that I could take care of you without having to fight you every bit of the way." He explained.  "And besides, it makes me feel good, knowing that I can do this for you and for our son."

"Son?" she looked up this time.  "Who said it was a boy?"

"Well, if it's not, we'll just have to keep trying until it is." He tapped her nose, his smile so large a dimple bit into one cheek.  "I need an heir, after all."

"What's wrong with a girl?" she insisted.  "Girls are just as good, if not better than boys."

"It's just tradition." He sighed.  "I don't wanna fight about it."

"We're smarter, better leaders, better judges, and we're better looking!" she told him.  "Not to mention stronger."

"Stronger?" he made a face.  "You saying the aunties are stronger than me?"

"No, but I am." She told him.

"You always say that, but I'll show you one of these days." He countered, his grin back at this familiar banter.

"Oh, sure you will." She laughed.  "Remember that time I trapped you in the dance of the dead with all those samurai skeletons?  You were shredded, absolutely torn up."

"But I survived just fine." He reminded her.  "I remember you running away."

"I did not run away, I was bored." She insisted.  "And I felt bad for you.  You're so pathetic when you're getting your ass kicked by a girl."

"Okay, fine." He rolled his eyes.  "If we have a daughter, and she's as strong as you, she can be my heir."

"Only if she wants to." Kagura stipulated as she stood up and turned back toward the caves.  "She shouldn't have to."

"What do you want from me?" Kouga asked, chasing after her.  "A contract?"

"Hmm…" Kagura pretended to consider before turning into him, going up on her tiptoes and kissing his chin.  "How about a kiss?"

"That, I can do." He told her, leaning down and pouring his love for her into the kiss, the moment.  She smiled as they broke, and she didn't bother heading back, wrapping her arms around his waist instead.

"Thanks." She told him, her voice soft, warm.  Moments like these were precious to both of them.  Times when they were alone, unconcerned with the world outside of each other, and happy.  Completely happy to be with the one they loved most.

"For letting you win again?" he asked, his hand going to her hair as it invariably did.  "Like I stood a chance."

"No, you didn't." she assured him, laughing slowly, letting the sound pour out like honey to wash over both of them.  "But thanks.  And for showing me this."

"What?"

"Something real."

"I knew you'd find it."

"Thanks for waiting, then."

"No problem."

The End!