Soon enough she was on her way out of he apartment building's door. After the conversation in the kitchen, he gave her some notes and she set off to buy things to fill up both their cupboards. She walked and tried to dodge the array of people who filled the street. She however was deep in thought and bumped into many of them. She even ran into one boy, making him drop his bag and spill the bags contents onto the street. She apologized profusely about how moronic and clumsy she was. He just put on a partial smile that wavered as the other passerby stepped on and destroyed some of the goods he was carrying. She offered him a few of her own notes in comfort but he just said no quietly.
However even with the brief mishaps of the morning she still had a smirk upon her face. She had stood up for what she had believed in and spoke her mind. It had gotten her where she was now, outside on her own. It just reiterated all that she had felt as her view on life. Lana had always been sure that what you try for you will soon attain. However she had always felt too shy to truly prove this point. Thus her values had been shaken lately by what her parents said and with them forcing her into new situations.
However she felt herself once again drifting from the task at hand. Already feeling she had ruined the boy's day she felt the need to pay more attention to her surroundings. She soon found herself at the market picking out things that she liked to eat, not what her parents chose for her to eat. Lana was truly enjoying her newfound independence. For years she had dreamed of escape but had never found the willpower to do so. She had always been rather pessimistic feeling that even if she did find her escape she would just end up back where she came from. This proved to her once again that she was truly free. Feeling for the last time, the crisp notes Christian had given her, she paid for the purchases and began home. She was incredibly careful remembering the boy's plight. Once again she was afraid; afraid that if she did not deliver all back to Christian intact that she might lose this small independence she had gained.
The sky was a deep blue which was swiftly turning black. She had begun to ponder all that had happened during the day. She brought out her journal and began to write all that had gone on in her head. The independence she had felt. The pride she felt, as she placed the food in her and Christian's kitchen's. Also the pure joy that she received from Christian's gentle smile; which was given when she asked what else needed to be done. She was told to go and enjoy the rest of the day which she tried to do. She sat in her new apartment unpacking and daydreaming. She wanted to just sit and write but felt that it wasn't the right time. She soon was drawn to her notebooks. However in the new apartment was filled with chores and ideas. Soon she found the need to get out of there in order to fully concentrate on her reflection. That was what led her out of her apartment and onto the roof. She found a want to see the stars. She had at first tried the balcony attached to her apartment, however it wasn't equivalent to her needs; she could still see lights and the sounds of the city. I was too much for her and she had to go to a more secluded place to see the stars. She wanted to actually see them, like she had in the countryside of England. Thus she soon found herself drawn to the roof of the apartment building. All of her fears that she wasn't allowed up there quickly drifted away when she took her first look at the sky. It was more beautiful then she had imagined back in her room. She quickly sat down in one of the dry spots of the roof, and released her journal from her bag. With swift movements of her pen she wrote all that she felt, all that truly encompassed her.
Something about the stars just inspired her. Darkness itself seemed to inspire her as well. She felt all aspects of her being drifting from her and onto the pages she wrote upon. She enjoyed every minute of it. She began writing as a means of losing herself, however now it was so much more. Not only did she lose herself but she gained many aspects of herself. Also it helped to dim that deep down sad feeling that she had always seemed to be afflicted with since it happened.