Okay, everyone, raise your hands if you didn't see this coming. Yeah, that's what I thought.
Perhaps you can forgive me a bit of the expected, especially those of you with soft hearts. Tell me what you think of it, when you review (by which I mean in more detail than a binary liked/didn't like). Then brace yourself for a bit of the unexpected.
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Episode XXVIII:
Goku's Journal Date: 67.8.1
Part of me wonders what I can date this journal. Do I count time in another dimension? Does it move faster or slower than our own? In that case, what is the true measure of time? Do I even want to get into the Theory of Relativity? I really cannot answer any of these questions, but it is probably useless speculation.
Its surprising how fast things have gotten back into a routine. Almost as if all the events in the other dimension were nothing more than a strange dream. And that thought would be very believable, if not for the obvious changes. My new arm is a constant proof to myself. It didn't take me long to get the blue lightning thing completely under control. I won't be having any sort of outburst again. However, I notice I am still capable of generating it. Most likely a useless talent, but who knows when we'll stumble onto another world of androids?
Work on figuring out Gero's lock has slowed because of being gone so long and out of the pattern of it, but I'm sure it will pick up faster than ever before because of all my experiences in the other dimension. For now, I am content with the slow progress I am making. Being split into Dark and Light has thrown my power off-balance again, but I think in the end I am stronger for it. My training is going well, the exercise there was good for me.
If I have any say in it, I won't be altering any dimensions in the near future. I've had enough of that for some time now. Of course, all of this leaves some questions unanswered, but such is life.
18's Journal Date: 68.1.3
I can't believe I was in another dimension such a short time ago. As crazy as it seems, it really did happen. What's even crazier is how easily I believe it. For all my knowledge, I never heard of 23, or any other doctor. Of course, it makes sense that Gero would never have mentioned him.
Goku is nearly the same as he was before. I think he finds the schedule comforting, because it keeps his mind off... something. It was bothering him before we left, and it is still there. But he says that he is getting a lot of work done on cracking the code. It could be possible for me to become human within the year, he says.
A world full of androids? A strange thought. But for a while, I was there, and for an even shorter time, I was just a normal person there. The feeling was strange, both pleasant and not. Would life here on earth be the same? I hope I will soon know...
Goku's Journal Date: 72.10.0
Things are quiet, and while I hate to be cliche, I have to say they are too quiet. 18 is out in the city, of course, and I'm mostly alone in the house. Perhaps I'm just paranoid. Then again, perhaps not. I've checked everything with every resource I have, and nothing seems to be out of place. This sense of foreboding could just be an overactive imagination, or it could be the work of a force greater than that which can be sensed.
I have little time to write, between my work and my training. So I fear this is my last entry for a while. With any luck, when I write again, nothing disastrous will have happened.
Goku was up late reading another of Gero's books, making notes as he went, when 18 stumbled in the door.
"What happened?" Goku glanced up, eyes instantly checking for the problem. She was physically fine, but her soul seemed in torment, her eyes were a disturbed, stormy blue.
"There was a family of Nameks living in one of the old broken-down buildings. They were siphoning water off a human family. Just today, someone found out about what was happening. A huge group of them got together and stoned them. Stoned them, Goku! That's ridiculous, ancient, barbaric! And only because they were Nameks. They killed the family they were stealing from too. Just because of an incredible hate."
18 broke down, sobbing. Goku knew what was happening. He had seen this sort of thing too many times to be affected by it, but this was 18's first time. It was always the most painful, the first time. This was one of those times that he felt different, a time when he realized the merciless 18 was indeed a different person. She fell to the ground, looking very sad and alone. Moving down to her, Goku wrapped his arms around her. Crying, 18 hugged back, just needing someone to be there in her time of grief. Eventually she stopped crying into him and moved back. Goku got up and sat in a chair opposite her.
"Are you my friend, Goku?" The question came out of the blue. Goku choked and fell almost to his knees. Friend. He hadn't heard that word since Piccolo. His only friend ever had been killed, his only true friend. From then on, he hadn't allowed anyone to pierce his mental shields surrounding his mind. Everyone was an outsider, just another element to life. But this question hit close to home, somehow piercing the defenses he'd crafted, making him remember everyone he had thought was his friend, all the good times he'd had. How it had all been lost....
"I'm sorry," 18 gasped, moving down to him. "I didn't mean to-"
"No." Goku gripped the coffee table and pulled himself up onto a chair. "I'm sorry. That question made me think of some things I'd rather not remember. How I thought everyone was my friend, and how wrong I was. How everyone left me but Piccolo, my old enemy. That's the only friend I've ever had, and your question surprised me. My apology is necessary, not yours."
18 looked into his eyes, which for the first time were totally uncovered. Goku's moment of grief had blow aside all of his mental barriers, at least for a time. Deep within those crystal blue eyes lay layers upon layers of pain, sorrow and suffering. Even deeper, a gleam of the truth glowed. 18 finally saw Goku for who he was, a very lonely, alone person. The next instant it was gone, but neither denied it had happened.
Without knowing what he was doing, Goku started telling his story to 18. He went on and on, allowing his feelings to come out for the first time ever. They had been pent up all this time, just waiting to burst on him, but he had never said a word to anyone. Piccolo could have listened, but he died before Goku could ever talk to him. Now he told 18.
They talked long into the night; 18 taking over and telling about what had happened in her life, at least what she remembered of it. They realized they had both faced horrible things, and came out on top in the end. Their lives had a lot in common, and grief always loves company. Finally, it went past midnight, and both departed to their rooms to get the few hours of rest they did need.
A second before they parted, Goku touched her arm, "18?"
"What?" She turned, eyes questioning.
"You are my friend."
"Thank you." There were tears in her eyes. 18 kissed him, on the lips, then went to her room. More than slightly stunned, Goku went to his.
She lay on her bed, not sleeping, staring up at the ceiling. What had happened? The merciless 18 was still there, unlimited potential for destruction. But that same 18, the deadly one, was now experiencing feelings she'd never imagined. What was it about Goku? He didn't seem to care about her lack of compassion, he somehow seemed to understand. Even if he did, she didn't. 18 rolled over and attempted to go to sleep.
18's Journal Date: 82.6.3
Things have been very different around the house after that conversation that Goku and I had. His eyes are constantly much brighter and he seems to be getting excited about something. His research must be going well, he's started tinkering in the lab. I've thought a lot about the nature of friendship. Goku is a true friend, maybe more then that.
No, I shouldn't lie to myself. He is more then that. This is getting to be something beyond my control. But I'm not sure he has the same feelings I do. I will continue to write, because I definitely need it.
Date: 84.6.1
Goku is staying up constantly without sleeping. He has been sleeping less and less as of late. But he must be getting something accomplished, he now spends most of his time upstairs in his lab. He just found another of Dr. Gero's books, this one seems to be opening up a lot for him. I hope that I can be changed back into a human again soon. Goku seems positive.
Date: 86.4.8
Something has been done. Goku is frantically working and training at a fevered pitch now. He still finds the time, somehow, to get to our nightly training sessions. Just yesterday he relaxed long enough to watch a beautiful sunset with me. He's starting to loosen up a lot more when I'm around. I still don't know how he feels about me, but he hasn't mentioned when I kissed him a few weeks ago. I don't know if no news is good news or not. I can't really get in touch with my emotions enough to say anything.
Just a few minutes ago, he went running up to the lab, muttering something about being almost there. I don't want to bother him, but I'm sure he'll be back down soon, with results.
A soft snow fell lightly over the evergreen forest. Goku walked just atop the snow, not disturbing any of it. Reaching a relative center, he gazed through the branches around him. For once, the world seemed beautiful. Of course, if all this dark ki kept up, this sort of thing would soon be nonexistent. Somehow, out here without anyone else, things seemed so much purer. Yes, it was somewhat of an illusion, he knew, but it still felt that way.
It was nice to just be in something natural. Natural was not the way he had been feeling recently. Getting involved with all sorts of schematics and charts really made him get a bit separated from the world. Worse yet, his experimenting had gone further than just trying to find a way to change 18 back. He had been scanning his own DNA recently, and the results were very disturbing.
Comparing with what little he knew of saiyan genes, Goku discovered that his DNA had actually changed. Ordinarily, he knew, changes in his body didn't effect the way his DNA was structured. Training, for example, had never altered it a bit. But now it had changed a lot, as if his body had been meant to be like this all along. Some parts of his DNA seemed almost copied off of other's. The regeneration genes, for example, were from Piccolo. Already he was developing certain things from 18; he had already noticed he wasn't needing as much sleep. Other things didn't have any explanations though. He had been getting younger, and he had no idea why.
But what did it mean? For all the data he'd gathered about it, it ultimately meant nothing. The changes left him feeling the same, but he knew that he was different. Of all things, his metallic arm disturbed him the most. He still hadn't managed to find a reason why he could shift to and from its metal form. Somehow, the metal was actually part of his arm, but that made no sense. From his observations, he knew that his hand was actually made of millions of tiny robots, each of which he controlled. Maybe the robots could change themselves to look like a hand. Either that, or his hand's cells could make themselves look like metal.
To a certain degree, it was probably pointless speculation. All these things did was make him stronger. Yet, in this endless evolution, would he lose his-. Goku cut off the thought abruptly. He had been about to say "humanity." Whatever the corresponding word would be for saiyans, it might somehow be lost.
Further compounding the entire matter was the situation with 18. Goku shook the thought from his mind, actually physically shaking his head, dislodging snow flakes from his deep black hair. Right now, he didn't need to think about that. There were too many uncertainties. Too many choices to make, on both sides. Sighing one more time, his breath visible in the air, Goku turned and walked slowly from the forest.
Behind him, the perfect snow remained untouched.
Goku's Journal Date: 82.23.7
I am finally getting to the experimenting stage in my research. Dr. Gero's puzzle is making sense now, it doesn't seem nearly as complicated as it once was. I think it is only a matter of time; even different test tubes show progress. Dr. Gero's final fortress cannot stand for long.
18 and I have an odd relationship going now. I'm not sure what we really are, but more than just friends. Ever since that kiss, I think I've known about her feelings, but I do not want any room for error. Any. We were good friends before this, and I wouldn't want to ruin it. At this point there is far too much at stake for anything of that nature.
Date: 85.15.6
Another of Dr. Gero's books has triggered something in me. I read the entire thing, and I think I have a clue as what to do. Every day that goes by, his puzzle seems easier and easier, and I'm less impressed with his intelligence. Also, by now I barely even sleep, except for a few minutes after a hard day. I took the time recently to relax with 18 and watch a sunset. It was beautiful, and I enjoyed it. I think she did as well. She has an emotional wall, one without mercy or regard for life, but there's something about it that isn't so bad. And deep beneath that, the emotionless monster is still capable of feeling emotion...
I found her journal sitting out one day, and, being the nosy person I have a tendency to be, I read it. It seems that my suspicions are correct; our feelings are almost the same about each other. But before I say anything, we need to see how this operation plays out. One choice could make all the difference.
Date: 86.4.9
At last! I believe that I have found my key to a very difficult puzzle. After rushing up to the lab, I am now about to conduct the final experiment, if this works. If not, I will work even longer. I am now going to mix both of my chemicals and all of my formulas. If everything turns out right, the mixture should turn red. They have just finished settling now.
Yes! It worked. After adding all of them together, the liquid is red. Now for the final ingredient. When I add this one, if all went well, my formula should turn blue. If not, I have failed. Now is truly the time to see if Dr. Gero is the smartest man on Earth or not. If this works, that means that my model will be better than his in every way, he'll have finally met his better in intelligence. I don't know where it is all coming from- wait, the liquid has almost set. I'll try...
...I have succeeded! I am now holding a vial of blue liquid. After capping it off carefully, my work is done. I have proved that even a lock that Dr.Gero himself could not undo can be undone, and that I have undone it. No matter what happens after this, I'll feel good, just for having beaten him.
Next is taking the vial to 18. After she drinks it, she'll be asleep for 24 hours, then when she wakes up, she'll be fully human again. This is so much better than anything I have done before. I look back on my first operation as almost primitive. I'll regret the loss of another warrior to help me, but right now I'd do almost anything for 18. I have to give her the choice, if she really wants to do it. For better or for worse, here goes.
18 glanced up. Goku was standing in her doorway, holding up a vial of a blue liquid triumphantly.
"It is complete," he said, unsmiling. "All you would have to do is drink this."
"And then I'm human?" 18 asked incredulously.
"No." Goku shook his head. "You'd be put to sleep for 24 hours. At the end of the time, the transformation will be complete."
"Could I now?"
"Yes." Goku paused, swirling it around in the vial. "There is only one thing left."
"What is that?"
Goku walked over and set the vial down on her desk. "Consider carefully. Do you really want to?"
And then Goku was gone, moving back to his own room.
18 glanced again at the vial. It sat there, almost humming with energy, with potential. Taking it from the shelf, 18 took the top off and looked inside. The liquid looked harmless enough. She raised it to her lips- and faltered. Even now, she wasn't strong enough. Goku's final comment, while intended to guide, now was keeping her from doing anything. 18 set it back down and put the lid back on.
Taking it with her, 18 moved out to the balcony and sat down, watching the sun set on the horizon, long shadows covering everything. Sitting on the rail, 18 held the vial up in front of her, looking through it. What could she be possibly forgetting? She wanted with all her heart to be human, didn't she? Yes, to finally be accepted into the city itself. Maybe she could save everyone there and evacuate them into the dome. Stars were beginning to come out and she still hadn't made any progress.
"Can't decide?" the voice startled her. Glancing around, 18 didn't see anyone. Deep shadows covered the balcony, she couldn't see much of it. Suddenly in the shadows beside her, two glowing eyes opened. Slanted eyes. Goku had been here before she had decided to come out here and she hadn't noticed the entire time.
"No," 18 said. "I can't. Why should it be so difficult? I want with every bit of essence I have to be human again!"
"Do you?" The response was harsher and sadder than most of Goku's. He sounded tired, not at all like himself. There was more bitterness than ever before. 18 said nothing, considering the sentence. Did she?
"You'd be accepted into society. They wouldn't give it another thought. You can go in their minds from evil killer to ally- hate is a random thing. I can guarantee they would."
"Then what's the problem?"
"Do you want to be accepted into society?" The sentence hit something within her directly. 18 turned to him, forcing herself to look into those eyes. They seemed to grow, overwhelming her, and suddenly memories started bubbling up inside her, things she couldn't remember or didn't want to.
The humans killing each other even as the androids eradicated them. A mob of humans throwing rocks at Goku when he got too near the city. The rocks and cries of "android" when she had gotten too close. The stoning of the Namekiian family, the look on the tiny Namek's face as he was crushed. Dr. Gero creating the androids in his hatred and committing near genocide on the saiyans. Gero using all of them on the earthlings, Gero now considering them "expendable." Hercule taking credit for Goku's actions.
18 fell to the ground, tightly gripping the vial. Different things started coming to mind. Goku wrapping himself around the planet core to save all the Nameks who hated him. Goku killing Vegita to protect others who hated him. 17 dying, because his hatred was more than Goku's tortured mind could bear. The people throwing rocks at him shortly after he had just defeated Cell. Their hatred of everyone.
The tiny Namekiian child came to mind, the images flashing through her mind, hundreds of them. More than she could bear. Finally they settled on Goku's sacrifice on Namek, on Earth every time his being scorned and mocked by people who didn't care. How he had just taken it, absorbing the hatred.
Shaking in anger and incredible feeling, 18 moved over to the rail and looked at the vial. Tears flowing freely from her eyes for the first time, 18 dropped the vial. She opened her hand and watched the blue glimmer fall to the ground, then shatter in a brief sparkle of glass that caught the last remaining sunlight. Even as the sunlight faded the choice was made and set forever.
Turning again, 18 fell to the ground, sobbing and completely spent. After a brief instant, she felt two strong arms wrapping around her. Crying, more than she ever had, 18 wrapped her arms fiercely around Goku's shoulders. Goku just stayed there, holding her slender frame gently close to his. At last she opened her eyes, looking out toward the stars. There was a change, her eye slant was different now. It was like Goku's.
"Would they really have accepted me?" she asked quietly. Goku nodded.
"The race would have been enough, it's really is only a facet of what's wrong with this planet. So many minor things, hate coming in every way. Anything that can cause more hate is used to the extreme; we just feel the brunt of the race difference. But there are so many others, creating such shallow people."
"I had thought I wanted to be returned to what I was," 18 said. "But now I don't feel the need at all."
"You never wanted to be human," Goku whispered softly, "you wanted humanity."
"Do I have it?" she asked.
"Yes," Goku said, even softer. "You think, you reason, you understand. You feel emotions. There is nothing that humans have that you don't. But you have things they will never have, understanding of the truth, and ultimately, humanity."
"Thank you," was all 18 could whisper.
Still holding her, Goku kissed her this time. 18 kissed back, and in that moment, they both understood and accepted completely. There weren't any misunderstandings anymore, and everything would be all right. And for an instant, standing in the starry sky, holding each other, two hearts were one.