Laughing at Myself Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto or the characters. Once again, this is a yaoi fanfiction featuring Haku and Zabuza.

Chapter 3: Waters

I woke up the next morning to fog. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised, considering where I came from. I looked around, but Zabuza was no where to be found. I shakily rose to my feet, and pulled out clean clothing. I changed in silence, replacing my hitai-ate and grabbed an apple to eat for breakfast.

I sat down and began another fire.

It wasn't bright out, nor was it dark. The clouds cast odd shadows and the fog crept toward me like an invisible predator hunting for its prey.

I thought about Zabuza and his mist techniques... I though of him creeping up on me, but that didn't really make any sense. I shook my head, as the small flames began to leap higher into the air. It was interesting how calm everything was, considering the weather conditions. It looked as if a thunder storm could break out at any minute.

This thought scared me because I did not like thunder. Lightning didn't bother me, it was the thunder that was frightening. I prayed that the weather would not turn to that, and I continued taking small bites out of my apple.

It wasn't until later that I heard footsteps in the shadows.

But they weren't Zabuza's...

I knew this because Zabuza always just appeared... I could hear these. It wasn't him. I reached for some of my needles and my mask. I slowly moved toward where I thought a tree was. Just as my fingers brushed against the bark, my eyes adjusted and I leapt upward and into the coverage of the trees.

I watched as a dark figure moved to where the fire was. Because the fire was now larger, I could clearly see who was standing there. It was one of Gatou's henchmen. He was tall and muscular. He wore hitai-ate, but I knew from past experiences with him that he was a missing-nin.

I crouched down a little more, making absolutely sure that I was not going to be heard. It was then that I threw three needles. All three of them struck exactly where I wanted them to; one in the jugular vein, one at the base of the spinal chord and one where the brain stem met the spinal column.

The body fell limp and tumbled to the ground.

I slowly jumped down from the tree and approached the dead body. He was a scout for sure. I had suspected that Gatou would send someone to hunt Zabuza and myself down. He sent the wrong guy though... he was easy to kill. Or so I thought.

I looked around the make sure there weren't any others, but the fog had grown thicker and I couldn't see where the trees started, and where the path leading away from the clearing was.

I dared not move. If I couldn't see the enemy... then he couldn't see me. At that moment, I looked down and the body was gone. All that was left were my three needles. I realized the dangerous position that I was in and drew some more needles.

"A clone..." I whispered, furrowing my brows as I tried to figure out what to do next.

Unfortunately, I didn't see the scout and the next thing I felt was a sharp and hideously painful blow to my side. I felt the ground catch my body as I fell. Everything went black...

"Haku..." someone was calling my name. I opened my eyes and Zabuza was sitting in a chair next to me. He was smiling and wearing rich looking clothing. Bright sunlight shone through a large white window. Thin curtains fluttered in the breeze and the warm sunlight bathed Zabuza in a gentle glow. He smiled at me and reached toward me. His hand pulled away and in it was a book. I must have fallen asleep while reading again. I looked at him then at the ceiling.

He made a 'tsk tsk' sound and set the book on a nearby table. He got up and walked to a cart by the door of the room. There was a jug of lemonade on it and some glasses with ice in them. He poured the faint yellow liquid into each glass and returned to where I was laying on a couch.

But instead of sitting on the chair, he perched himself on the side of the couch. The brown vest he was wearing was decorated with gold thread. The pattern ran up his chest and to the collar where it formed two dragons, one on each side of the article of clothing. The baggy white shirt he wore underneath was opened slightly, and his flawless skin could be seen.

I blushed and sat up as he handed me the glass. He looked at me and began to speak.

"You know... Haku... this lemonade reminds me of your smile." I was silent, not really seeing the parallel in his comment. He sensed my confusion and explained further. "Well, it's yellow. And yellow is a happy color. Your smile is yellow... because it's happy. And that's how they are alike."

I understood and nodded slightly as I took a sip of my lemonade. It was sour and I made a face. I heard him giggle slightly, which I found very uncharacteristic of him. He leaned in a little closer. "You're cute Haku..." He paused then touched my face.

"Is it sour?" He asked. I nodded again and with that he leaned in a little further. His lips where a mere centimeter's away from mine and I could feel his warm breath wash across my face. His eyes began to close. As did mine.

He whispered my name.

"Haku."

I waited for the kiss.

"Haku?"

It hadn't come yet.

"Haku!!"

I was suddenly aware of hands on my shoulders as I opened my eyes. Everything was blurry and a stab of pain wracked through my body. As things came into focus, I saw Zabuza-san's hard face looking down at me.

I blinked... the dream was still vivid in my mind. It reminded me of one o the chapters from my book.

"Are you alright?" The real, living breathing Zabuza-san asked me as he lifted my back up. He moved me into a sitting position. I winced as he touched my side. He mumbled something incoherently before turning to a dead body behind him. He tore off some of the fabric of the man's shirt.

I was still speechled... and I was still confused.

"What h-happened?" I whispered.

He remained silent for a few moments then began to speak.

"One of Gatou's scouts came to hunt us down. I was getting something for us to eat and when I returned he had already wounded you. You were unconscious but I took care of him. Don't worry." The occurrences of earlier came flooding back to me.

I remembered waiting in the tree... then coming down and then his body disappearing. Then al I remembered was pain.

"Take your kimono and shirt off." He said coldly as he eyed me.

I looked at him puzzled.

"Well... if you want me to bandage your wounds... then take your kimono and shirt off..." he sounded a little exasperated, but I obeyed.

I reached for the sash around my waist and unwound it. My kimono fell open and I slid it off of my shoulders, careful not to irritate my wounds. I moved to take off my shirt when another searing pain shot through me. I looked at Zabuza-san then away from him as I let my arm fall limply beside me.

I think he got the message when he moved in front of me and grabbed the hem of my shirt. He pulled it up and stopped as he saw my side. I knew it must look awful. I didn't even know what weapon had caused the injury. He shook his head slightly then gently moved my arms out of the sleeve holes. The fabric got lifted up and over my head and I looked down at my own injury.

There was a large gash where my ribs were on the right side and the cut continued onto the back of my right arm as well. The bleeding hadn't stopped quite yet, and I could feel it as it worked itself down my back and sides. It hurt a lot.

Zabuza-san looked at me and sighed.

"I need to clean it. I don't want you dying on me..." he got up and walked away. By now I had noticed that the mist had cleared a bit and I could see a little bit better.

What I saw horrified me.

There were five dead bodies strewn about the place. I thought there had only been one. But then again... why would Gatou only send one when he knew he was dealing with Zabuza-san. The bodies were all laying face down. One of them was half in a bush and the others were cast onto the ground like abandoned flowers after a funeral procession.

Blood seeped from various wounds and puddle around their still forms. I don't know why it bothered me so much. I had seen carnage like this before... but something about this situation was different. It made me feel uneasy.

I felt tears start to well up in my eyes as the pain in my side grew more. I couldn't hold it back any longer. I had held back the tears so many times before. I knew that I couldn't stop myself. I knew that if I did I'd go crazy.

So I cried. As I sat there and bled, pain washing over my body in a constant wave of white, I cried. Tears ran freely down my face. I held my hands up in order to try and hide the fact I was crying. I didn't want anyone to see how vulnerable I was.

I didn't want Zabuza-san to see how childish I was.

But I couldn't stop. I curled up into a ball and hugged my knees, despite the excruciating pain. I bit it back as I sobbed into the soft fabric of my pants. I hurt. At that moment I realized that my heartache was greater than the wound on my side. The pain in my heart was more unbearable than the feel of blood freely flowing from an open wound. Why did I always hurt so much?

I don't understand why I hurt so much on the inside.

I felt someone coming down the path and I knew that this time it was Zabuza-san. I wiped madly at my eyes and tried to cover up my tears.

He approached with a large bowl of water. Once he arrived by my side, he sat down next to me. Using the fabric he had ripped off of the nearest dead body, he washed the cuts on my side. I winced and bit back the urge to scream. He looked into my face as I winced away from his touch.

He stared at me with his black and cold eyes. I looked away. I think he knew that I knew that he knew I had been crying. He didn't say anything and went back to washing the gash.

The bowl of water slowly grew red with my blood and once he was done washing it, he reached back to the body and ripped off some more cloth. He reached around me and tightly wrapped the black cloth around me chest. After he deemed the wound to be covered, he tied a knot in the cloth and reached for another strip to wrap my arm in. Once he had done the same to my arm he sat back and looked at me again.

I again averted his gaze and held back the pain... in my heart and in my side. I never told him how much I was always in pain.

Just like how the Prince in my book never told anyone about how much pain he was always in. I inwardly smirked through the pain at how similar me and the Prince were in my book.

My thoughts were cut short when Zabuza-san began to speak.

"Why were you crying?" he asked quietly. I had never heard him talk like that before. I remained silent, not wanting to answer. "Do the bodies bother you?" I shook my head. I was lying. He knew I was. He got up and moved the bodies somewhere further into the woods where we wouldn't have to see or smell them. Once he came back he sat in front of the fire pit and began another fire.

I hadn't moved.

"I'm not going to push, but if want to tell me... you can." It amazed me that he actually wanted to know. I reach for my clothing but he stopped. His hand grasped at mine. His look hardened and he slowly let me go.

"You shouldn't put your clothes back on. It will irritate your injury." He reached behind him to where his pack was. He pulled out a dark green blanket and placed it around my shoulders. "Here."

I felt myself blush slightly.

Then there was silence.

Then my mouth moved of it's own free will and words came out. The forbidden question.

"Have you ever cried?" I whispered.

He didn't face away from the growing fire.

"Only once." And that was all he said to me.
End of chapter 3

Okay so that was a little weird and very long but oh well. Heheh. Hope you all liked it! R and R please! And thanks to all who have already commented! I thank you!

::huggles::

emoDlolita