A/A****Thanks again to so many of you for the awesome reviews! I know it's
been a while since I updated, so I apologize for that! I am also hoping to
post a one shot that I am currently working on, too. It will be the first
one I have ever done, so I hope it doesn't suck too badly! Once again,
there are some awesome stories out there that I am reading of all of you,
so keep at it! GL to all and as always, on with the show.
Chapter 12 The FUN in Dysfunctional
Arnold's heart was racing ninety miles an hour. What in blue blazes was Barnie Berkowitz doing talking to Helga? He couldn't make out what was being said, but he knew it...
"..couldn't be anything good," Helga whimpered, her eyes wide with fury. " What do you mean, me? News flash, Dudley Dork Face, I don't like you!" Helga screwed her face up in her best scowl.
"Don't try to fight it, Helga. I have seen past your blustery exterior into your gushy, warm-hearted center. There's no fooling me," Barnie winked a sparkling blue eye in her direction. He looked positively lovesick as he gazed at her over the top of the bus seat that separated them.
" I have no idea what you are talking about," Arnold shot back at Gerald as he leaned in for a closer listen. ""I DO NOT have an unhealthy obsession with Helga Pataki."
" You could've fooled me," Gerald muttered back, his game pal in hand once again as they rode home. " You've been stalking her day and night the past 24 hours, and now you're losing your mind at the sight of her talking to another guy. If that's not an obsessive way to act, then I'm Pop Daddy,"
" Puh-lease!" Helga growled in disgust at Barnie's lame advances. On the outside, she was all outraged and piss and vinegar, but on the inside she was screaming in terror. Barnie was the last guy on earth....
" ..who would ever take an interest in her, that's the only reason I find it fishy," Arnold whispered fiercely, his eyes narrowed in distrust. If looks could kill, they'd be arresting him right now for attempted murder. He knew that it wasn't the only reason he was angry. Could he admit to himself that it was ninety percent..
" Jealousy? Why would I harbor anything but disgust for your little girlfriend," Helga spat, her hands clenching and unclenching reflexively. Her grand notions of convincing Barnie to take Lila back and herself riding off into the proverbial sunset with Arnold were fading fast. Who would of thought the girl she had to eliminate would be her?
" It's useless to fight it, Helga. I think you are absolutely amazing, and I don't mind a challenge in the least bit," Barnie winked again before sitting back down, facing away from the two very astonished girls.
" Phoebe, he has lost his goody-goody little mind," Helga moaned, her lips going pale with fright. " I will get that creepy in-bred brain dead little cretin to crawl back.."
"..To Lila if it's the last thing I do!" Arnold vowed, slumping back down in his seat. Gerald cocked an eyebrow in mild annoyance, but said nothing. Arnold was beyond caring if Gerald knew anything that was going on in his head at this point.
" There was a reason for that personality switch, and I am going to get to the bottom of it AND get rid of Barnie all in one fell swoop!" he murmured under his breath, the muscles in his shoulders tensing at the thought of the alternative.
Helga tread lightly as she ascended the stairs to Phoebe's second floor bedroom. She tossed her book bag on the low bed and flopped on top of her bamboo futon in exhaustion. " Okay Pheebs, let's figure out this personality crap that happened yesterday," Helga yawned, her spirit completely drained. It took everything she had not to end up in anger management again. Barnie's orthodontist would have loved her for all the damage he would have racked up.
" According to my documentation, I noted the first marked change in your personality right before we exited the bus yesterday morning," Phoebe spread her notes out in neat piles around her on the spotless hard wood floor.
" Makes sense, I don't really recall getting off the bus yesterday," Helga replied, rubbing the locket nestled beneath her shirt absent-mindedly. " Next?"
"Next, you were all over Brainy, slugging him and biting everyone's heads off," Gerald explained, tossing a baseball back and forth in Jamie O's fortress like bedroom. "You even referred to your Grandma as Gertie,"
" I kind of remember that," Arnold acknowledged. " Anything else severely out of the ordinary?"
" Oh yeah, you called Helga mean names," Gerald chuckled slightly.
" What kind of mean names?"
"I believe he called you brow girl, pinky, monkey face, and oh yeah, pigtails," Phoebe explained, her face coloring in embarrassment for Arnold. " It took some time to decipher that it wasn't really Arnold saying all of that,"
" And Helga was being all nice yesterday, like she didn't sock Brainy once, and she even gave out semi useful advice from what I hear from Rhonda, Park and Nadine," Gerald shoved a handful of sugar chunk cereal into his eager mouth. " It's like she.."
"..was someone else yesterday," Phoebe concluded, setting her notes aside in a neat stack.
" Sounds like I was too," Helga gulped. " Hey Pheebs, I kind of remember some things, but not everything. I have to ask you...did I ..tell him?"
" No,"
" Oh thank God above," Helga smiled weakly. " Then he doesn't know how I feel!"
" But how do you explain that locket thing then?"Phoebe, her smile fading into nothingness.
" What locket?" Arnold stuttered nervously, certain that only Lila and he had seen it.
" That key chain locket thing. Unless I've been suddenly stricken with glaucoma, I think that was Helga's picture on it, too."
Arnold was silent. " See what I mean about obsessive?"
" Gerald! Phone for you!" Mrs. Johannsen called down the hallway.
" Got it, Ma!" Gerald yelled back, picking up the football shaped phone in his older brother's room. " What's shaking, Phoebe baby?" Gerald purred into the receiver.
" Nothing is shaking, and this is NOT Phoebe," a harsh voice on the other end of the line corrected. " Is your odd shape headed friend there?"
" Who is this and who you calling odd headed?" Gerald muttered in an angry voice.
" Just put him on," the mysterious voice demanded.
" Whatever," Gerald held the phone out to Arnold. "Some jack ass for you,"
" Huh? Who?" Arnold narrowed his eyes, tilting his head towards the receiver. " Who is this?"
" I think you know," the voice replied. It sounded neither male nor female, just monotone and angry. "I know about your crush on Helga Pataki, and I suggest you give it up,"
Arnold nearly dropped the phone in astonishment. " Who is this?" he whispered almost inaudibly.
" Let's say.. a friend. Leave Helga alone, she doesn't love you,"
" And what if I don't?" Arnold was totally freaking out, but he kept his voice calm and even.
" You'll be very VERY sorry,"
Click!
@@@@ I know, another cliffie! I'm starting to like writing those! Anyways, I promise to update soon, a week tops! Gots to go, I'm working on that one shot as we speak! Later days!
Chapter 12 The FUN in Dysfunctional
Arnold's heart was racing ninety miles an hour. What in blue blazes was Barnie Berkowitz doing talking to Helga? He couldn't make out what was being said, but he knew it...
"..couldn't be anything good," Helga whimpered, her eyes wide with fury. " What do you mean, me? News flash, Dudley Dork Face, I don't like you!" Helga screwed her face up in her best scowl.
"Don't try to fight it, Helga. I have seen past your blustery exterior into your gushy, warm-hearted center. There's no fooling me," Barnie winked a sparkling blue eye in her direction. He looked positively lovesick as he gazed at her over the top of the bus seat that separated them.
" I have no idea what you are talking about," Arnold shot back at Gerald as he leaned in for a closer listen. ""I DO NOT have an unhealthy obsession with Helga Pataki."
" You could've fooled me," Gerald muttered back, his game pal in hand once again as they rode home. " You've been stalking her day and night the past 24 hours, and now you're losing your mind at the sight of her talking to another guy. If that's not an obsessive way to act, then I'm Pop Daddy,"
" Puh-lease!" Helga growled in disgust at Barnie's lame advances. On the outside, she was all outraged and piss and vinegar, but on the inside she was screaming in terror. Barnie was the last guy on earth....
" ..who would ever take an interest in her, that's the only reason I find it fishy," Arnold whispered fiercely, his eyes narrowed in distrust. If looks could kill, they'd be arresting him right now for attempted murder. He knew that it wasn't the only reason he was angry. Could he admit to himself that it was ninety percent..
" Jealousy? Why would I harbor anything but disgust for your little girlfriend," Helga spat, her hands clenching and unclenching reflexively. Her grand notions of convincing Barnie to take Lila back and herself riding off into the proverbial sunset with Arnold were fading fast. Who would of thought the girl she had to eliminate would be her?
" It's useless to fight it, Helga. I think you are absolutely amazing, and I don't mind a challenge in the least bit," Barnie winked again before sitting back down, facing away from the two very astonished girls.
" Phoebe, he has lost his goody-goody little mind," Helga moaned, her lips going pale with fright. " I will get that creepy in-bred brain dead little cretin to crawl back.."
"..To Lila if it's the last thing I do!" Arnold vowed, slumping back down in his seat. Gerald cocked an eyebrow in mild annoyance, but said nothing. Arnold was beyond caring if Gerald knew anything that was going on in his head at this point.
" There was a reason for that personality switch, and I am going to get to the bottom of it AND get rid of Barnie all in one fell swoop!" he murmured under his breath, the muscles in his shoulders tensing at the thought of the alternative.
Helga tread lightly as she ascended the stairs to Phoebe's second floor bedroom. She tossed her book bag on the low bed and flopped on top of her bamboo futon in exhaustion. " Okay Pheebs, let's figure out this personality crap that happened yesterday," Helga yawned, her spirit completely drained. It took everything she had not to end up in anger management again. Barnie's orthodontist would have loved her for all the damage he would have racked up.
" According to my documentation, I noted the first marked change in your personality right before we exited the bus yesterday morning," Phoebe spread her notes out in neat piles around her on the spotless hard wood floor.
" Makes sense, I don't really recall getting off the bus yesterday," Helga replied, rubbing the locket nestled beneath her shirt absent-mindedly. " Next?"
"Next, you were all over Brainy, slugging him and biting everyone's heads off," Gerald explained, tossing a baseball back and forth in Jamie O's fortress like bedroom. "You even referred to your Grandma as Gertie,"
" I kind of remember that," Arnold acknowledged. " Anything else severely out of the ordinary?"
" Oh yeah, you called Helga mean names," Gerald chuckled slightly.
" What kind of mean names?"
"I believe he called you brow girl, pinky, monkey face, and oh yeah, pigtails," Phoebe explained, her face coloring in embarrassment for Arnold. " It took some time to decipher that it wasn't really Arnold saying all of that,"
" And Helga was being all nice yesterday, like she didn't sock Brainy once, and she even gave out semi useful advice from what I hear from Rhonda, Park and Nadine," Gerald shoved a handful of sugar chunk cereal into his eager mouth. " It's like she.."
"..was someone else yesterday," Phoebe concluded, setting her notes aside in a neat stack.
" Sounds like I was too," Helga gulped. " Hey Pheebs, I kind of remember some things, but not everything. I have to ask you...did I ..tell him?"
" No,"
" Oh thank God above," Helga smiled weakly. " Then he doesn't know how I feel!"
" But how do you explain that locket thing then?"Phoebe, her smile fading into nothingness.
" What locket?" Arnold stuttered nervously, certain that only Lila and he had seen it.
" That key chain locket thing. Unless I've been suddenly stricken with glaucoma, I think that was Helga's picture on it, too."
Arnold was silent. " See what I mean about obsessive?"
" Gerald! Phone for you!" Mrs. Johannsen called down the hallway.
" Got it, Ma!" Gerald yelled back, picking up the football shaped phone in his older brother's room. " What's shaking, Phoebe baby?" Gerald purred into the receiver.
" Nothing is shaking, and this is NOT Phoebe," a harsh voice on the other end of the line corrected. " Is your odd shape headed friend there?"
" Who is this and who you calling odd headed?" Gerald muttered in an angry voice.
" Just put him on," the mysterious voice demanded.
" Whatever," Gerald held the phone out to Arnold. "Some jack ass for you,"
" Huh? Who?" Arnold narrowed his eyes, tilting his head towards the receiver. " Who is this?"
" I think you know," the voice replied. It sounded neither male nor female, just monotone and angry. "I know about your crush on Helga Pataki, and I suggest you give it up,"
Arnold nearly dropped the phone in astonishment. " Who is this?" he whispered almost inaudibly.
" Let's say.. a friend. Leave Helga alone, she doesn't love you,"
" And what if I don't?" Arnold was totally freaking out, but he kept his voice calm and even.
" You'll be very VERY sorry,"
Click!
@@@@ I know, another cliffie! I'm starting to like writing those! Anyways, I promise to update soon, a week tops! Gots to go, I'm working on that one shot as we speak! Later days!