Title: Not Quite Myself
Author: Roxanne Kowalchuk
Feedback: roxettemts.net
Category: Romance/Humor
Pairing: S/G (Sara/Grissom)
Disclaimer: I don't owe anyone.
Spoilers: IE. Just the Job.
Summary: Sara is having a bad day.
Notes: I gotta stop writing while on a sugar rush. Gotta love Hallowe'en
candy. :)
An Extra Big Thank You: To Kelly, my beta reader.
Archived: Yes, please!
Feedback is welcomed.
....................

Sara slept the day away, as her body still had her working the night shift.
As she opened her eyes, she noticed she wasn't alone.

"When did you get here?"

"Half an hour ago."

"Why are you here?"

"Couldn't get enough of you."

He was always flirting with her. "Missed me that much, huh?"

Opening his arms, the person answered. "This much."

Noticing a tray on her nightstand, she continued on. "Is that my supper?"

"I guess so. Never peeked. Didn't want my fingers cut off."

"Good boy," she answered as he pushed the stand over.

"Need help sitting up?"

"No, I'm not very hungry. I just want to take a peek."

Pulling the lid off, the person spoke. "Can I have anything that looks like
food?"

Sara laughed. "You are a riot, Greg."

"Of course, I am," Greg said as he picked up her fork and poked at
something.

The food didn't interest her. It actually made her stomach flip-flop around.
"You can have it."

Putting the lid back on, Greg refused. "No, that's okay. It's all yours."

Pushing the stand away, Sara took a deep breath. "I take it Brass brought
you home earlier?"

"Yes, I took the bus back to get my car."

"Oh ya, forgot about that. But I didn't want you to drive," Sara told him.

"Oh I know. I wouldn't want me to drive while I'm asleep, either," Greg
joked. "So seriously here, how you doing?"

"Good. My side hurts a bit but it's my arm I'm worried about."

"It takes time to heal."

"Oh ya, I know," Sara said. "How's work?"

"Peachy."

"That bad, huh?"

"Everyone seems to think I'm the perfect person to yell at. So I'm yelling
back."

"Grissom must love that."

"I'm not scared of Grissom anymore Sara, I could care less. They have to
start treating us like human beings, not machines without emotions," Greg
explained.

Reaching out her good hand, Sara took hold of Greg's. "We're in this
together."

"I know. But I have to go, work calls."

"Call me if you get a chance," Sara told him as she squeezed his hand.

"Sure, take it easy," Greg said as Sara let go of his hand and he left her
room.
..........

Grissom had gone in early. He wanted to re-read a few things and go back
over her case. He figured that they had missed something.

"Grissom?"

Looking up and over at his door, he saw Doc Robbins. "What brings you this way?"

"I have more information on those two vics," Doc said as he walked into
Grissom's office.

"Have a seat," Grissom offered. When he was sitting, he continued. "So?"

"Well the victims were killed with a blunt object to the back of the head."

"That's what Nick said," Grissom reported.

"Ya I know, but I wasn't sure what it was until I did some more searching,"
Doc said as he handed a file to Grissom. "With Nick's help, I managed
to match a piece of wood I found in the woman's head to a cane Warrick found at the scene."

"Her own cane was used on her."

"It seems to be."

"And the man?" Grissom asked.

"If you find the shotgun, I'll probably be able to match the wound at the
back of his head to the butt of the gun," Doc explained. "Blow to the back
of the head, killed him. They both had arthritis and weren't strong enough
to fight back."

"The fight was one sided."

"Oh ya," Doc replied. "How's Sara?"

"Ah, doing okay, I suppose."

"You suppose?"

"You should ask Greg, she doesn't want to see me right now," Grissom
explained. Holding back info from the Doc won't be any good, rumors always flew around the lab.

"That bad, huh?" Doc said as he got up. "I'll be in the morgue."

"Thanks," Grissom said as he started to read the file Doc Robbins had given
him.
..........

As he had been reading her case file over, Grissom had decided that it was
about time to talk to her. He knew she was mad but he needed to talk to
her.

Walking into her room, Grissom spoke softly. "Sara?"

Sara had been lying in her bed, with a sheet pulled over top of her. She
really hadn't been sleeping due to the fact that she had the hiccups, but
she still jumped when she heard his voice. "Grissom, get the hell out."

He ignored that. He knew she'd tell him so, he really did know her. "I was
told you were sleeping, but some one can't sleep with the hiccups."

She ignored that too. She just wanted him out. She wasn't ready to face him.
She had too much anger still built up against him. "Get the hell out. I
don't want to see you."

"Sara, we need to talk," Grissom pressed on.

"Talk. No, we have nothing to talk about." She was mad. He wasn't listening
to her.

"I think we do," he tried.

Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, Sara opened her eyes and stared,
well glared at Grissom. "Listen to me Grissom. Get the hell out of here. I
don't want to see you or talk to you for that matter."

He was fighting with himself. He knew he should go, but he also knew he
wanted to try talking to her. Get her to listen to him. "I'll only stay for
a few minutes."

He could be so stubborn and so could she. Looking away from him, she stared out her window. "You getting a thrill out of doing this?"

"A thrill?" He didn't understand.

"Yes. I told everyone, almost everyone in this hospital, that the only three
people I wanted to talk to were Greg, Brass and Billy. Not you, nor Nick,
Catherine and Warrick. Why can't you get that through your thick head?" Sara expelled exasperated.

"Because I care," Grissom replied as he walked around the bed so that he was blocking her view.

Looking like she was staring straight through him, she spoke. "My ass you
care."

He knew she'd be mad but hadn't expected her to be this mad. "Sara, let's ca
lm down here."

"I am calm. I'm just pissed at whoever let you in."

No one had let him in, he had let himself in. "Well I'm not leaving till we
talk."

If she was standing in front of him and was armed, she'd do something
drastic to him but she wasn't. She was lying in bed with nowhere to go. So
since he wanted to talk, she decided she'd do the talking and he do the listening. "You wanna talk. Fine! Let's begin with this. I should be thanking you. I've heard that they can't do surgeries with a person on a full stomach. If you remember, you didn't give me time to let me eat my dinner. I also thank you for that. And you can't say I wasn't doing my job, because I was. I was doing everything by the book. We were going out to serve a warrant and yes I was armed, and no I had no clue he was armed. Billy saved my life. Although I bet, if you would have known I was going out to serve a warrant, you might have gotten Nick or Warrick to go instead and leave me back at the lab. You have no respect for me whatsoever. No one does. I work damn hard in that lab, for once I wish some one would notice."

"We do notice," he tried.

"No you don't," Sara said as she took a deep breath. She had to remember not to pop any stitches. "You just yell at me, you all do. Greg and Brass are
about the only ones who give me any respect."

"That isn't true, Sara," he tried, again.

He wasn't getting it. He didn't understand it. "Yes it is," she replied with
a deep sigh. "You know what Grissom, you are just scared."

That surprised him. "Scared? Of what?"

"Of loosing me."

"Loosing you?"

"Yes, just think about, but do it somewhere else," she said as she closed
her eyes. She was in pain. Her side was hurting.

"Sara."

"Go away Grissom."

He could see she was in pain. Turning, he walked out of her room. He didn't
want to hurt her anymore.
..........

He sat behind his desk, rubbing the bridge of his nose. What she said to him
haunted him. Was she right? Was he loosing her?

"You know, if you keep pinching the bridge of your nose, you might not have circulation up there anymore."

Dropping his hand a bit, Grissom was startled. He hadn't heard her come in.
"Catherine."

"Gil, you look like hell," she commented from the doorway.

"I feel like it," Grissom admitted.

"You saw here, didn't you?" she asked. She could read his body language.

"Yes, I saw her," he admitted.

"Didn't go well?"

"No, not really," Grissom said as he continued to rub the bridge of his
nose.

"That doesn't sound good, Grissom."

"She's mad," Grissom told her. "Mad at me, mad at you, mad at Nick and
Warrick."

"I figure she was," Catherine replied. "That would explain why she doesn't
want to see us."

"Yes," Grissom agreed.

"So how did it go?" Catherine continued on.

"Well besides her telling me to go, she kind of thanked me for getting her
in that mess."

"What?" Catherine was surprised.

"I didn't let her eat dinner that night," Grissom explained. "I had yelled
at her to get back to work."

Catherine understood the eating part. Most operations couldn't be done on a
full stomach, but they would have operated on her any ways. "What else?"

"She said that if I had known she was going out to serve a warrant, I would
have sent Warrick or Nick," Grissom continued on. "And left her at the lab."

"Would you?"

"No, that was her case," Grissom answered. "And she also said I don't
respect her."

Catherine had to think about that a minute. "You have been hard on her."

Dropping his hand, Grissom defended himself. "Hey, you were the one who said be tougher. I took your advice."

Holding her hands up, she spoke. "Okay, sorry. But she said something else
didn't she?"

He hated the fact that Catherine knew him so well. Returning to rubbing the
bridge of his nose, Grissom answered. "She also said I was scared."

"Scared?"

"Scared that I'm loosing her."

Catherine didn't have a comment.

"Not a good time to be speechless, Catherine."

"Sorry Grissom," Catherine apologized. "Are you scared you're going to loose her?"

Dropping his hand again, Grissom stared at her.

"Your look says it all."

"I was afraid of that."

"But you know, I'm also scared I'll loose her friendship."

Arching an eyebrow, Grissom questioned her. "Why?"

"I yelled at her too that night."

"You did?"

"Yes, I blamed her for something I shouldn't have."

"You aren't the only one," a voice from behind Catherine said.

Turning around, she spotted Nick and Warrick. "What did you do Nick?"

"I yelled at her too. It wasn't even her mess. The case Warrick and I were
on was getting to me. So I released my anger on Sara," Nick answered.

"Warrick?" Grissom questioned.

"And I yelled at her too."

"That explains her anger," Grissom told everyone.
..........


"Not many deputy's wear their vests," Brass commented.

"Cop instincts," Billy told Brass. "I just had a weird feeling. And we were
serving a warrant. You never know."

"True," Brass agreed. "How are you doing?"

"Bruised ribs," Billy told him. "Better than Sara."

"True, but she'll be fine."

"I know," Billy said. "I was about to go see her before I go."

"I was headed there too," Brass replied. "You go on first, I have to make a
call."

"Okay, thank you."
.........

"So what do we do Grissom?" Nick asked as the silence started to build.

"I don't know, Nick. Apologize, I guess," Grissom answered. When it came to Sara, he was baffled.

"Kind of hard when she won't see us," Warrick commented.

About to say something, Grissom caught sight of some one. "Nick, grab Greg."

Nick was the closest one to the door. Stepping out, he called out to the lab
tech. "Hey Greg, Grissom wants you."

Stopping, Greg's shoulders slumped forward. Just who he didn't want to see.
"I have work to do."

"It'll take a minute," Nick semi lied. He didn't know how long it would
take.

Groaning, Greg turned around and headed into Grissom's office. Squishing
pass Catherine, Greg faced Grissom across his desk. "Yes boss."

He could hear the sarcasm in his voice. "How's Sara?"

"She's fine."

"When is she getting out?" Nick asked from behind him.

"I don't know. Greg said as he peered over his shoulder at Nick.

"Greg," Grissom started as he got his attention. "I suppose you owe us an
apology."

He had been waiting to hear Grissom say that he owned him an apology, not
the other way around. "Me? Oh, no way. I'm not apologizing to any of you."

"Greg," Grissom continued.

"No way," Greg said as he pushed pass Nick and Catherine as he exited the
office.
.........

"Any one home?"

Turning away from the looking out the window, Sara smiled when she saw who it was. "Hi Billy."

"Hey, how you doing?"

"Better. You?"

"Good, bruised ribs is all I have," Billy answered. "And I get to go home."

"Lucky you."

Billy chuckled. "You'll be out of here soon."

"I hope so, have you seen what they serve for food?"

"Oh ya," Billy agreed. "I can't stay to long. The wife is waiting for me."

"All right," Sara replied. "Thank you again."

"No problem, Sara. I'd do it again," Billy told her as he kissed her on the
cheek. "I'll come back and visit you."

"Sure, bye Billy."

"See ya," Billy said as he left her room.
.........

After everyone had left his office, Grissom was at the point where he didn't
know what to do. She was driving him up a wall. He cared for her. But she
was so mad. And knowing that Greg was the only one that she would talk to
was actually making him jealous. But she wasn't his.
Or was she?

Just as she was starting to doze off, a voice called out to her.

"Sara?"

"Ya," she answered as she opened her eyes again.

"It's me Brass."

"Hey."

"Did I wake you?" Brass asked as he stopped beside her bed.

"Yes and no. I was almost asleep," Sara replied. "Don't worry about it. What
can I do for you?"

"Just checking up on you."

"For you or Grissom?"

"Not for Grissom," Brass answered.

"I'm doing good, I start physio tomorrow."

"Good to hear," Brass told her. "Any idea when you get out?"

"No, not yet. Hopefully soon, because I can't eat another bite of what they
call food here." Brass smiled. "Let me talk to your doctor. Maybe I can
bring you a salad or something."

"That would be great, thanks Brass."

"It's no problem," Brass said. "Now go back to sleep. I'll see you later."

"Okay," Sara said as she closed her eyes. She was asleep even before he left
her room.
....................

Feedback welcomed! :)