Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.
Painted
V. Fear Without Change
-
My head is made up of memories,
Most of them useless delusions
-
August 1945
Leather cracked across skin, leaving a trail of streaked blood in its wake. Another deafening crack, and more blood poured. She winced, biting into her sleeve.
"Foolish girl," Naraku said in his honeyed tone. "Common sense. Put the money away once received."
She had drowned out his voice already, and was more worried about the metallic taste of blood in her mouth.
"Well, how much was it?" he taunted. "How much did we - I lose, to be exact," he corrected himself.
An inaudible whisper. Another strike.
"I said I don't know!"
"You didn't count?" asked Naraku in amusement.
"It was fucking foreign okay?" she almost shouted. "How am I supposed to know how much money it is?"
Two consecutive lashes followed this. "You don't use curses Sango. Very unladylike," he commented with a twisted half smile.
It had been three days since the servicemen had approached her. Three days since Miroku had been in to purchase her. Three days into the week-long torture Naraku had punished her with for wasting time and money. Every night she was required to report to Naraku, sacrificing sleep for abuse.
She found that she became numb after the first few strikes with the heavy piece of leather, and therefore pain became more bearable.
Kanna sat in the corner like a porcelain doll, eerily still, observing her with empty black eyes. He smirked, raising his arm again, when a sharp knock sounded at the door, a silhouetted figure visible through the screen.
"Kagura," he stated, slightly annoyed at the interruption.
"Master Naraku," she said, bowing. "There is a man requesting Izumi at the front."
"At this hour?" he asked in disbelief. Something dawned on him as his gaze reverted back to Sango's bleeding back. "Is it that cursed would-be monk?" he asked sharply. "Tell him she is not available tonight."
Sango's eyes widened. "Miroku..." Her heart and mind battled, unsure of whether to be disgusted or hopeful.
As Kagura bowed and left the room, Naraku rounded on Sango. "This man...he seems awfully interested in you," he commented.
He swept the strap across her back, irritating the lacerations. An incoherent choked sound came from Sango's throat. "I don't know," she answered through gritted teeth.
"Masuyo Naraku-sama should know that the same man saw her three nights ago," Kanna's empty voice said.
Naraku's eyebrows rose interestedly. "Is that so?"
She drew her breath sharply as fresh pain tore through her back. "Does he follow you around now?" he taunted. "Or is he so desperate and full of delusions that he thinks you're actually worth pursuing?" he said with a sickening smirk on his lips.
"You need to make-up for the money you lost," he said. "You will continue working, but you will also take charge of the sanitary duties of this building. You will see to it that not a speck of dust doesn't grace my shoulder."
They were interrupted once again by rushing footsteps. "Were you able to get rid of him?" Naraku demanded as Kagura appeared in the doorway.
"Yes, but it was not easy. He wanted to know if she had been bought, and I said no. I offered him another girl, but he refused, saying he'd wait for her. I had to threaten him twice before he physically left the area, and than he offered to buy her completely."
"How much money was he carrying?"
"A substantial amount. It was all crumpled together, but there was a fair sum."
"What is his interest in you?" Naraku asked, circling Sango. He tapped the leather strap in his hands.
"He enjoys my company," Sango spat, with a hint of sarcasm.
"How does your company differ from that of anyone else?"
"I don't know." Another whip crack. "There's a lot of things you seem to not know. " Naraku said thoughtfully. "I wonder why that is."
He let Sango lay slumped on over the bench for a moment longer before summoning Kanna to dispose of her.
--
She lay on her front that night, with her head turned to the side as she tried to find sleep. Pain still seared through her back, even though her punishment had ended over two hours ago.
"Sango...Sango, are you awake?" a whisper prodded her.
"Yes," she responded, keeping her eyes half-closed.
"I'm sorry, I didn't want to shake you or anything because of...well, you know," the voice said uncomfortably.
"Kagome?" Sango asked, attempting to sit up.
"No, none of that. Lie down," Kagome scolded. "And whisper, I don't want to be heard."
"What is it?" Sango inquired, sensing the urgency in her voice.
"The man who approached me in the city," she said quickly. "He is from my village."
She paused, apparently waiting for any comments. When none came, she continued.
"He wants to help me escape. Imagine, all the things we wanted to do-"
"What are you saying?" Sango cut in.
"Oh Sango," Kagome whispered, laying a hand on her arm. "I want you to come with me."
She heard no excitement at this. "Sango? Aren't you happy?"
She looked away, though Kagome couldn't tell in the darkness save for the sound of shifting sheets.
"I tried to run away before Kagome. You know what happened."
"But it'll be different this time, Sango," she insisted. "I'll be with you, and we have help. Real help."
"Help?" Sango said dubiously.
"Inuyasha - that's his name - he said he will be waiting near the main street in a covered wagon. He knows the layout of the grounds, and - "
"How did you plan all this behind Naraku's back?" Sango couldn't help but feel slightly impressed.
"Well...ever since the city, I've waited until Naraku brought you in for punishments...that's when..." she trailed off.
"I see," she said slowly.
"So, will you come?" Kagome spoke up.
"I want to," Sango began. "But it will be difficult. Naraku calls on me for punishments, and if Miroku comes back to try and purchase me-"
"Miroku?" Kagome asked curiously. "The monk that specially requests you?"
"Never mind that. We'll leave after the punishment. That way if Miroku comes to purchase you, you can service and Naraku will think you have gone straight to bed."
Sango ran through the plan twice in her mind before confirming, though she still felt a lingering skepticism. She just hoped that Miroku wouldn't unexpectedly arrive like he did today.
Something inside wanted him to know she was escaping. There was a funny feeling in her stomach that told her she couldn't do it without him.
--
That afternoon Sango was drawing water for the vases when the soft patting of approaching footsteps alerted her. She whirled around quickly into someone's chest and spilled her bucket of water all over their fronts.
"I'm sorry," she mumbled, keeping her head down.
"It's quite alright...Sango," the voice said softly. Her eyes traveled up towards his face.
"Miroku-sama!" she breathed. Tensing, she gripped her hands in a fist.
"You shouldn't be here!"
For a moment, he said nothing as he gazed at her with mixed sadness and uncertainty in his eyes. She wanted to tell him to get the hell away from her, and her lips moved to do just that, but the words wouldn't come out.
"Sango," he said again, reaching towards her shoulder. She twisted away from him, shuddering slightly from the coldness of the water soaking her front.
Again, she wanted to tell him not to touch her, but she couldn't.
"I'm sorry." She regarded him with the same hurt expression from three nights ago.
"For what?" she asked. "You're a pig like the others. There is nothing to apologize for."
He looked down at this. "It just shocked me to see-"
"Shocked you to see what?" she exploded. "I'm a whore. That's what whores do. You knew that. You knew about that..." She didn't notice the frustrated tears in her eyes.
The inclination to hold her crossed through his mind, but he disregarded it.
"When I saw, it just- it made everything hit."
"It did, did it?" she said, still angry. "Because you never wanted to talk to me about it. I told you everything. I didn't want to, but I did. Something....I felt like I trusted you."
He continued to gaze at her, sopping wet and angry.
"And even so," she continued her tirade. "How does the sudden realization of your now ruined life inspire you suddenly grab and grope the closest thing to you?"
"What I think," he interrupted, holding his hand out in an attempt to silence her. "Is that I didn't know what to think, what to do. Sango, I realize it now, that I can't be of much help to you. I am practically worthless. Somehow, thoughts of you...they kept me from insanity. To see you violated...humiliated..."
She looked down at this, as if in shame.
"I thought that if they got to have you...Well, I had nothing left. You even said it yourself. I knew I lost everything. So I grabbed the closest thing to me and held on tight, so I wouldn't lose it."
"That still doesn't explain it...it doesn't..." she said over and over. She shook her head and brought a hand to her temple.
"You better leave Miroku-sama. I might be caught."
He tipped her chin up suddenly, and her eyes grew wide with surprise, fear, anger, and maybe excitement. How had he come so close?
"What I'm trying to tell you, Sango..." he bent forward and swept his lips over hers. It was barely for a second but he tried to pour everything into the brief moment. Passion, care, warmth, everything a kiss should make one feel. He hoped she found it as sincere as he made it.
Trying not to be forceful as he held her arms down from where they were struggling to perhaps punch him, he held her until she eventually grew limp.
He gently set her on her feet and was gone before she could say a word.
"Hey..Wait - You had no right to do that!" she started to explode, but he was already too far away.
She had seethed for a few more moments, before leaning against the side of the well, her legs suddenly feeling like jelly. Her hand rose to her lips, eyes closing.
'What are you thinking Sango...this is...what is....' A heavy coolness on her chest reminded her of her wet front. She bent picked up the fallen bucket, and after setting it back on the rope and drawing a fresh bucket, she turned towards the main house with the intention of changing after filling the vases.
That's when she saw her. As she walked up from the small hill outside the main house, a small pale girl dressed in all white stood silently and stiffly on the porch. Sango unconsciously gripped the bucket tighter. As Sango approached the steps, she stopped before Kanna, who's expression, as always, betrayed nothing. Had she seen?
Not taking any chances, she bowed quickly and ran inside to change the water.
--
The light in their cabin was dim as the late afternoon faded into the evening, and two girls remained within. Kagura had granted them special allowance to tend to Sango's wounds.
Sango pulled her decorated kimono to her waist and lay on her front on her bed, the sight of skin whipped raw and dried blood eliciting a wince from Kagome.
"Ouch."
"Trust me, it feels much worse than it looks."
Kagome dipped a towel in a tub of warm water and wrung out the excess. Gingerly, she tried to clean the slashes, but she held back, afraid of hurting her friend even more.
"Just clean it Kagome-chan. Don't worry. You don't want me to get an infection right?" Sango gripped the sheets in front of her.
A few moments had passed where both just concentrated on their tasks.
"I know this is obvious, but Naraku is so stupid," Kagome said suddenly. "Why would he do this to you? It's like, he wanted you to be disfigured this way!"
She threw the dirtied rag aside, and grabbed another.
"Just look at the business he runs," she continued to rant. "One where he constantly advertises beautiful girls, yet he doesn't put any effort into maintaining that beauty. Someone should tell him this is bad for business."
Kagome turned a small bottle of alcohol upside down onto a wad of gauze. "I'm sorry Sango-chan, but this is going to sting."
She waited for the quick bob of Sango's head before carefully wiping around the edges of the cuts, trying to ignore the way her entire body was tensing.
"And what will happen once I'm done here, cleaning you up and putting on some bandages? You're going in for another punishment!" Kagome exclaimed, trying to distract both of them. "I bet that he didn't authorize this break and Kagura's getting into a spot of trouble."
She chose another cloth and started to pat dry the wet areas.
"I'm so sorry you have to go through this again, but it'll be the last time," she promised. "I'll be so glad when we get out of here-"
"Wait...Kagome. I have to tell you something," Sango interrupted. Her eyes looked downcast. "I can't come with you."
"What do you mean you can't come?" she said indignantly. "You want this even more than I do."
"No, listen Kagome," Sango continued, turning her head to the side so she could see her friend better.
"Miroku came to see me today."
Kagome made a noise of surprise. "He came...Sango, you know that's not allowed!"
"I know, but-"
"What did he say?" she asked excitedly, her hands pausing in mid-air from where she had been preparing to tear apart a package of bandages.
Sango was taken aback. "Excuse me?"
"What did she say?" Kagome repeated in the same tone, now dropping the package on the side of the bed.
"Well...he apologized for what happened-"
"What happened?"
"Well he - he's been through a lot. And...he just made a bad choice."
Kagome gasped. "He didn't...did he?"
"No, he has no money to pay me, but he tried to...at first...I didn't let him."
"But he always comes to see you," Kagome pointed out.
"He does, but we never...He doesn't ask, we just...talk."
"I heard you tell Kanna you did him service."
"I lied. What could I say? That he went into the room, said hello, and left again?"
"But still, why was he there...and why did he come to see you today, outside of hours? It's not a coincidence at all."
"I've been seeing a lot of him. The truth is...the first time I tried to run away, four years ago, I met him. By accident, he came here, and it took a while, but I remembered him."
"And?" Kagome pressed, obviously intrigued.
"He lost a lot because of the war too, his temple. He decided that he really wanted to help me get through this, but really...he wanted to forget what happened to him."
Kagome continued to stare wide-eyed at Sango, egging her on.
"When those servicemen...approached, he-"
She paused to sigh deeply.
"He saw everything. And I don't know how, but it apparently triggered some sort of emotional breakdown for him. I've thought about it, and I still don't understand."
"And what happened today?"
"He came while I was drawing water for the vases. He apologized, tried to explain his actions...then he...and I let him..."
Her fingers rose to softly touch her lips.
"He..."
"Kissed you?"
Sango blinked as though she hadn't heard.
"I knew it! I knew it from the moment you touched your mouth."
Sango adjusted her head on her pillow, trying to seem indifferent.
"That's romantic Sango-chan...but it was still dangerous. In broad daylight too. You could have been seen!"
"That is why I can't come with you," Sango explained. "I think that Kanna could have seen. I don't want to take any chances of ruining your plan."
"But Sango-chan!" Kagome argued. "I'd feel guilty forever if I left you here, knowing I could have taken you with me!"
"And I'd feel guilty knowing that I was the reason you had to give up a chance to escape," Sango countered.
"No," Kagome said stubbornly. "So what if Kanna saw? There might still be a chance that Naraku won't suspect anything of you."
"He's already suspicious enough of Miroku as it is," Sango responded. "If he knows we were together today, against his rules, he's going to be watching me like a hawk!"
Sango started to prop herself up on her elbows, and before Kagome could scold her to lie back down, she locked eyes with her. "Kagome-chan, I'm sorry but my decision is final."
Kagome picked up the forgotten package of bandages and finished opening it half-heartedly. She knew that once Sango had made up her mind, there was no more arguing.
As she smoothed the last tan coloured bandage over her back, Kagome admired her handiwork. Sango's back was still in need of better attention, but with the cleaning and bandaging, it looked much neater.
Dark thoughts returned when she remembered that all her hard work would soon go to waste.
She looked back to where Sango was not concentrating on swiping the red ended brush over her lips.
"Sango-chan," she whispered, causing her to look up.
Kagome fought the urge to hug her, not wanting to inadvertently hurt her, and instead took her hand and squeezed it tight.
"Take care of yourself, okay?" Kagome said with a small smile. "I want to see you again soon."
Sango didn't respond to this. "Good luck tonight, Kagome-chan," she said, squeezing her hand in return. "And thank you."
--
"You're late," Naraku stated shortly after Sango hurried into the main room.
"Apologies," Sango offered, bowing quickly.
He ignored this. "Why?"
She kept her head down. "Kagura-sama granted me extra time to prepare, Masuyo-sama."
"I didn't know of this," he said in response.
"I'm sure that if you ask her, she'll tell you that -"
"Come with me," his cold voice cut in.
"But, Masuyo-sama, don't I have to - "
"Do not question my authority."
Sango mentally cursed Kagura for not making it clear she had given permission for Sango to be late tonight. But then again, maybe she did, and he just chose to conveniently forget.
As she followed him into the familiar room of punishment, she almost bumped into Kanna. She stared hard at her, trying to decipher by her face whether she had told Naraku or not.
She probably had told him everything.
"Leave us, Kanna," he requested. "And if that...monk shows up, kindly inform him that Izumi is...feeling a bit ill this evening."
And then they were alone.
He indicated the familiar bench she had draped herself across to receive her punishment, and with a heavy sigh, did just that, dropping her kimono to her waist as usual.
"Bandaged yourself did you?" He noticed with slight amusement. "Waste of time, for both of us."
Sango was prepared to tune out from his comments when he said something else that brought her hard back to reality.
"You think you're above yourself here? That you can break the rules?" He asked icily.
"You always were foolish. During the middle of the day, in a place as obvious as the well outside. Meeting men."
She suddenly had a throbbing headache.
"Wait, not men. Just one man. A certain man who always seems to show up here just for you."
He had picked up the leather strap and it dangled loosely from his relaxed grasp.
"No relationships outside of these rooms."
She jerked as it hit her, pain bursting from underneath the bandages.
"No lies told towards me."
It was a familiar pain, but that fact did not stop it from hurting doubly each time. She grit her teeth and hoped that Kagome would make it out okay.
Her back had started to become numb when he said something that made her blood freeze in her veins.
"If I ever get word - just one word - that you are screwing around outside of my knowledge-"
He emphasized his words with a tense pause.
"I'll kill you."
Painted: Fear Without Change - July 17th, 2004
Vilja - I check to see the first review and I get a nice big long essay. Well, at first I was like, uh oh, I must've done something bad, and then I read it, and realized you were just commenting on the chapter. You even ended up explaining some of the story to me, I think. =) Hmm, when I asked you to beta, it's not for the punctuation/spelling, but for the plot, characterization, continuity, etc. which I think I would benefit from a second opinion. Anyway, thank you for taking the time to write out all that, and I hope that you will continue to give your constructive comments.
Aamalie - One word. Paragraphs. My weakness, ne? The seventh heart attack scare of the day was "This sucks." Don't ever do that again. A few chapters more...but I have the nagging feeling the ending will be me frantically out a synopsis of whatever was supposed to happen over three chapters. Finally, thank you for the beta-work. The only one to not be scared of having to read my chapters before everyone else does.
Fireblade K'Chona - To balance out the chapters, this was was shorter. Just joking, it ended up that way. I thought too much stuff again would burn readers out. Thank you for the positive review.
SangoLancer200 - Well, there isn't really any explicit stuff in this story...just the themes are a bit...questionable and I don't want to get booted off , do I? As long as you're mature. Thank you for your review though!
Lady Sango 7 - I'm exhausted, but I've been full of updates right? Thank you again for another encouraging review, I'm glad that people are understanding how I'm trying to right here. Well, I just got my first flamer ever, so I'm starting to appreciate the good reviews even more. Thanks for all the support you give me. Oh, and I added you to my AIM, if you want to talk to me (or not).
Katrina5 - Those kinds of words make me all warm inside, especially after writing that angsty stuff like chapter six of Void. I will see this story through to the end, and hopefully I'll have it done before the deadline of the YtN fanfiction contest, which this was written for. Thank you for your encouragement, it really gives me a boost.
faltering - And the invasion of the long, flattering reviews continues. =) I'm hoping no one will have the urge to report me, though with that flame I got yesterday, I'm not so sure. Thank you for your amazingly kind words, which are so inspiring that if I got this one review and a hundred other flames, I'd still finish the story just for you.
animefreak808 - Though arguably nothing quite as drastic happened in this chapter, I'm glad that the events of the last one were unexpected but didn't make you want to kill me. Thanks for the positive review and the update is here, two days later.
LiL psYch0 - Yup, I was for sure on vacation, writing helped me get to sleep at night though. Haha, after that 'Hulk' thing, I thought about it too. It made me laugh. This chapter wasn't as long due to some....things happening. But thank you for your support. Oh, and Margo tells me you have AIM?
Anonymous flamer "Sangoslover123," I am responding to you last so that everyone else doesn't have to read this big chunk of writing coming up. I tried to make it clear by dating the chapters that this story takes place well over fifty years ago, not the present day. And by no means did I confirm the soldiers as American. Allied forces were made up of people from many different countries and not just America. By doing a tiny bit of research, I'm sure you'll find that the myth of geisha as prostitutes is partly based on what happened after WWII, because prostitutes did have contact with soldiers, and they called themselves geisha because it what was best understood. Finally, calling me an "damn anti american bastersd" hit me personally, because I happen to love America, I visit New York state every year and pay my respects. And as for my "poor ass country," which happens to be Canada, I'm not stuck here, and I'm not "hatin."
If you are still mad, you can e-mail me, my address is on my bio, or you can leave yours, so I won't have to end another chapter on a bad note.
For everyone else, thank you for your positive reviews and encouragement. I will finish this story.