********Thanks SO much to everyone for all the helpful and kind reviews.
Yes, I know Arnold was slightly out of character when he got angry with
Lila, but then again, he's seeing for the first time how paper thin she is
AND he's annoyed in general with all this poetry stuff. Hope that explains
what perspective I was trying to come from. Also, I know I could have done
much better with the poetry, but you will see why it's not exactly award
winning prose very VERY soon! On with the show!
Chapter 16 Round and Round We Go
" Well I personally think the dark blue sweater with the white turtle neck and navy blue jeans would be the perfect ensemble for the slightly cool fall weather," Phoebe piped up thoughtfully, a finger to her slightly tilted chin. She sat cross-legged on Helga's pink bedspread, mounds of clothing surrounding the tiny Japanese girl.
" Phoebe, you are not understanding what I'm trying to accomplish here," Helga called from the recesses of her walk-in closet. She flung random shirts and skirts as she spoke.
" I'm not trying to be attractive," Helga continued. " I'm TRYING to be utterly and completely repulsive!" Her eyes were wide with agitation as she emerged from the stacks of clothing surrounding the bed.
" That hardly seems the correct way to proceed with this delicate situation," Phoebe smiled smugly. " Why not forgo the date all together?"
" I can't," Helga muttered. " My dad won't hear of it, and Miriam's so excited about it that she actually never mentioned Olga or smoothies all night last night."
" My, that is a dilemma," Phoebe frowned lightly. " I'm not quite sure what alternative route you could take,"
" Oh, I have a plan, Pheebs. With any luck, by this time tomorrow Barnie will be begging Lila to take him back," Helga's eyes glinted with a wild light, a puce tee shirt and olive polka dotted skirt in hand. " Now help me with this curling iron, would ya?"
Arnold paced the hallway on the second floor of the boarding house, running his hands through his already wildly mussed blonde mop. He'd been up most of the night comparing handwriting samples from the previous season's yearbook. He'd just made it past the T's in the girls before succumbing to the overwhelming need for caffeine and nourishment.
The phone rang and jolted his nerves, causing him to jump haphazardly into the path of his grandmother's vacuum.
" Sunset Arms, Arnold speaking," he answered a little winded. He smiled a lopsided grin in apology to Pookie, but she paid him no heed and continued down the hall whistling the tune to " You'd Better Not Touch My Gal,"
" Forget about her," a monotone voice replied lowly.
" Forget about who? Who is this and what do you want?" Arnold's eyes narrowed in anger and suspicion.
" You know who I am and what it is that I want. Forget about Helga. She hates you, don't you see that by now?"
" No I don't. What business of yours is she anyway?" Arnold whispered through gritted teeth. His knuckles were rapidly losing color with the tight grip he maintained on the phone receiver.
" More than you could ever know. Leave her alone, or else I will follow up with my promise to make you very sorry,"
Arnold thought he caught a faint glimpse of familiarity in the voice just then, but chose wisely to ignore it for the moment.
" Maybe you think you know me, but you don't," he shot back vehemently. " I am no quitter and I certainly will not give up until I figure out who you are and what you are really up to," his hands trembled now with pure unadulterated rage.
" Fine, have it your way. You were warned," the voice answered deadly calm. The clicking of the phone rang like a gong in Arnold's ear.
" Bring it on," Arnold breathed raggedly, slamming his end of the phone down as he headed downstairs for a quick bite to eat.
" Helga! Get yer keister down here, little lady," Bob roared lightly. He'd been trying new anger management techniques as of late at his wife and daughter's suggestion, but old habits die hard. He smiled contentedly at the figure in his doorway.
" These are for you, Mrs. Pataki," Barnie smiled sappily up at the vibrant middle aged blonde in front of him. He extended a freckled hand filled to capacity with a huge arrangement of sunflowers.
" Why thank you, young man" Miriam smiled in return, her voice as kind and sugary as ever. She beamed her approval in her husband's direction as she took her good will token to the kitchen to find a vase.
" Okay, here goes nothing," Helga took a deep breath, winking at Phoebe as she did so. " What do you think?"
Phoebe gave the thumbs up sign. " All systems go, Helga. Operation Eye Sore to the rescue!"
" And then the farmer said, " Whatever you do, don't smell that cow," Barnie deadpanned as he finished his joke. Bob and Miriam Pataki roared with laughter.
" Oh, that's rich," Bob guffawed, wiping tears from his large gray eyes. " Where do you come up with this stuff?"
" An old acquaintance told me that one," Barnie sniffed, the smile fading from his lips. " We no longer speak, I'm afraid." His voice trailed off as though deep in thought. His head snapped upright at the creaking of the top stair. "Well here comes your lovely daughter now," Barnie interjected robustly.
Helga descended the stairs slowly, as though for dramatic effect. Her hot pink sandals glinted in the early afternoon sunshine that poured into the sparkling clean windows. Her legs were clad in lavender tights the aforementioned olive and teal polka dotted skirt, and the puce tee shirt hung stiffly across her narrow shoulders, as though it had never been off of it's hanger until that very moment.
The silence was so severe, Helga thought she could hear the paint actually peeling in the living room.
" Why hello Barnie," Helga smiled sweetly, a huge, deliberate glob of candy cotton lip-gloss smudged across her otherwise pearly teeth. She fluttered her heavily caked lashes at him in mock flirtation. " Are those for me?" she asked stupidly, pointing a long fake fingernail in the direction of the daisies he held in his other hand.
" Uh.....yeah.." Barnie tried to make light of the situation, but his eyes told another story. Helga smiled triumphantly at his horror, but quickly hid her delight behind a mask of simpering valley girl.
" That was just so thoughtful! Momma, would you please put these lovely flowers in water for me?" Helga brushed a stiff strand of blonde hair back into her elaborate beehive. " Thanks ever so much,"
Miriam's mouth hung open in shock, but she nodded lightly and turned slowly towards the kitchen, daisies in hand.
Bob finally broke her parent's unified silence. " Went a little heavy on the war paint, Kimusabee," he muttered. " Aren't you kinda young to be getting all gussied up like that?" Bob wore an expression of confusion intermingled with exasperation and horror.
" Don't be ridiculous, Daddy. Just EVERYONE is wearing their makeup and hair like this," Helga smiled again, causing both man and boy to shudder at the glossy spectacle her teeth had become.
" Now have her back by dinner time, Mister, and just maybe you'll score an invite," Bob joked, punching the wide-eyed Barnie in the shoulder lightly. " Take care of my little girl there," Bob practically sprinted from the room, happy to be out of Helga's sight. " Sheesh! What a mess!" he murmured loudly from the kitchen area.
" Ready?" Helga asked, extending her gloved hand to a very embarrassed looking Barnie.
He gulped, but replied confidently. " More than ready. Let's go!" He grabbed her arm precariously and jerked her out the front door.
Phoebe shook her raven head in amusement as she gently opened the door seconds later to follow them.
" Let the games begin," she chortled, taking care to pace herself slowly behind them.
**************** ARGHH! I know where I want this to go, but my transitional chapters are FRUSTRATING ME!! Well, its an update anyways. I hope you all like, more on Helga's evil scheme, the mysterious caller, and Arnold's plan to come!!
Chapter 16 Round and Round We Go
" Well I personally think the dark blue sweater with the white turtle neck and navy blue jeans would be the perfect ensemble for the slightly cool fall weather," Phoebe piped up thoughtfully, a finger to her slightly tilted chin. She sat cross-legged on Helga's pink bedspread, mounds of clothing surrounding the tiny Japanese girl.
" Phoebe, you are not understanding what I'm trying to accomplish here," Helga called from the recesses of her walk-in closet. She flung random shirts and skirts as she spoke.
" I'm not trying to be attractive," Helga continued. " I'm TRYING to be utterly and completely repulsive!" Her eyes were wide with agitation as she emerged from the stacks of clothing surrounding the bed.
" That hardly seems the correct way to proceed with this delicate situation," Phoebe smiled smugly. " Why not forgo the date all together?"
" I can't," Helga muttered. " My dad won't hear of it, and Miriam's so excited about it that she actually never mentioned Olga or smoothies all night last night."
" My, that is a dilemma," Phoebe frowned lightly. " I'm not quite sure what alternative route you could take,"
" Oh, I have a plan, Pheebs. With any luck, by this time tomorrow Barnie will be begging Lila to take him back," Helga's eyes glinted with a wild light, a puce tee shirt and olive polka dotted skirt in hand. " Now help me with this curling iron, would ya?"
Arnold paced the hallway on the second floor of the boarding house, running his hands through his already wildly mussed blonde mop. He'd been up most of the night comparing handwriting samples from the previous season's yearbook. He'd just made it past the T's in the girls before succumbing to the overwhelming need for caffeine and nourishment.
The phone rang and jolted his nerves, causing him to jump haphazardly into the path of his grandmother's vacuum.
" Sunset Arms, Arnold speaking," he answered a little winded. He smiled a lopsided grin in apology to Pookie, but she paid him no heed and continued down the hall whistling the tune to " You'd Better Not Touch My Gal,"
" Forget about her," a monotone voice replied lowly.
" Forget about who? Who is this and what do you want?" Arnold's eyes narrowed in anger and suspicion.
" You know who I am and what it is that I want. Forget about Helga. She hates you, don't you see that by now?"
" No I don't. What business of yours is she anyway?" Arnold whispered through gritted teeth. His knuckles were rapidly losing color with the tight grip he maintained on the phone receiver.
" More than you could ever know. Leave her alone, or else I will follow up with my promise to make you very sorry,"
Arnold thought he caught a faint glimpse of familiarity in the voice just then, but chose wisely to ignore it for the moment.
" Maybe you think you know me, but you don't," he shot back vehemently. " I am no quitter and I certainly will not give up until I figure out who you are and what you are really up to," his hands trembled now with pure unadulterated rage.
" Fine, have it your way. You were warned," the voice answered deadly calm. The clicking of the phone rang like a gong in Arnold's ear.
" Bring it on," Arnold breathed raggedly, slamming his end of the phone down as he headed downstairs for a quick bite to eat.
" Helga! Get yer keister down here, little lady," Bob roared lightly. He'd been trying new anger management techniques as of late at his wife and daughter's suggestion, but old habits die hard. He smiled contentedly at the figure in his doorway.
" These are for you, Mrs. Pataki," Barnie smiled sappily up at the vibrant middle aged blonde in front of him. He extended a freckled hand filled to capacity with a huge arrangement of sunflowers.
" Why thank you, young man" Miriam smiled in return, her voice as kind and sugary as ever. She beamed her approval in her husband's direction as she took her good will token to the kitchen to find a vase.
" Okay, here goes nothing," Helga took a deep breath, winking at Phoebe as she did so. " What do you think?"
Phoebe gave the thumbs up sign. " All systems go, Helga. Operation Eye Sore to the rescue!"
" And then the farmer said, " Whatever you do, don't smell that cow," Barnie deadpanned as he finished his joke. Bob and Miriam Pataki roared with laughter.
" Oh, that's rich," Bob guffawed, wiping tears from his large gray eyes. " Where do you come up with this stuff?"
" An old acquaintance told me that one," Barnie sniffed, the smile fading from his lips. " We no longer speak, I'm afraid." His voice trailed off as though deep in thought. His head snapped upright at the creaking of the top stair. "Well here comes your lovely daughter now," Barnie interjected robustly.
Helga descended the stairs slowly, as though for dramatic effect. Her hot pink sandals glinted in the early afternoon sunshine that poured into the sparkling clean windows. Her legs were clad in lavender tights the aforementioned olive and teal polka dotted skirt, and the puce tee shirt hung stiffly across her narrow shoulders, as though it had never been off of it's hanger until that very moment.
The silence was so severe, Helga thought she could hear the paint actually peeling in the living room.
" Why hello Barnie," Helga smiled sweetly, a huge, deliberate glob of candy cotton lip-gloss smudged across her otherwise pearly teeth. She fluttered her heavily caked lashes at him in mock flirtation. " Are those for me?" she asked stupidly, pointing a long fake fingernail in the direction of the daisies he held in his other hand.
" Uh.....yeah.." Barnie tried to make light of the situation, but his eyes told another story. Helga smiled triumphantly at his horror, but quickly hid her delight behind a mask of simpering valley girl.
" That was just so thoughtful! Momma, would you please put these lovely flowers in water for me?" Helga brushed a stiff strand of blonde hair back into her elaborate beehive. " Thanks ever so much,"
Miriam's mouth hung open in shock, but she nodded lightly and turned slowly towards the kitchen, daisies in hand.
Bob finally broke her parent's unified silence. " Went a little heavy on the war paint, Kimusabee," he muttered. " Aren't you kinda young to be getting all gussied up like that?" Bob wore an expression of confusion intermingled with exasperation and horror.
" Don't be ridiculous, Daddy. Just EVERYONE is wearing their makeup and hair like this," Helga smiled again, causing both man and boy to shudder at the glossy spectacle her teeth had become.
" Now have her back by dinner time, Mister, and just maybe you'll score an invite," Bob joked, punching the wide-eyed Barnie in the shoulder lightly. " Take care of my little girl there," Bob practically sprinted from the room, happy to be out of Helga's sight. " Sheesh! What a mess!" he murmured loudly from the kitchen area.
" Ready?" Helga asked, extending her gloved hand to a very embarrassed looking Barnie.
He gulped, but replied confidently. " More than ready. Let's go!" He grabbed her arm precariously and jerked her out the front door.
Phoebe shook her raven head in amusement as she gently opened the door seconds later to follow them.
" Let the games begin," she chortled, taking care to pace herself slowly behind them.
**************** ARGHH! I know where I want this to go, but my transitional chapters are FRUSTRATING ME!! Well, its an update anyways. I hope you all like, more on Helga's evil scheme, the mysterious caller, and Arnold's plan to come!!