Chapter four:
All Good [and not so good] Things Must Have a Funny Ending Theme Song
As the demon's body shriveled, Kagome ran over and retrieved the jewel shard.
"Yes! We got it!"
The soldiers gave a round of applause, and Sesshomaru stomped off, muttering under his breath something about revenge and a jewel shard and something about Naraku...
"Are you alright?" InuYasha asked Miroku who was still sitting on the ground, cradling his hand.
"Yes, but whatever that thing was, it blocked my wind tunnel."
"Well, here," Kagome said as she pulled up Miroku's sleeve and flipped the "Reverse" switch on the monk's arm.
There was a blast of air and the cannonball shot out of Miroku's hand, landing on the far side of the hill.
"Wow, I never knew I could do that."
"That is one impressive wind tunnel. How do you do that?"
Chamberlain slowly strode over from his perch at the top of the hill.
"Well, it started when my grandfather was cursed by Naraku..."
"That's interesting," the colonel said sarcastically, pushing Miroku aside as he made his way toward Kagome who now stood next to InuYasha.
"Are you alright, dear?" he asked, taking Kagome's hand in his own as if genuinely concerned.
"Yes, I'm fine," she said, pulling away from him. "My friends always take care of me."
"Yeah, I didn't see you trying to do anything to stop that demon," InuYasha commented, folding his arms.
"And you weren't doing anything during the battle, either. You were hiding behind a tree!" one of the Maine men shouted.
"Whoever made you colonel should be shot!" someone else added.
There were more yells from the angry Yankees as a mob formed and slowly moved in on Chamberlain.
"Now, now, fellas. Let's not act so rashly."
But the mob would have none of it and chased the colonel down the hill and all the way to Washington. The few Rebels that had not joined in the mob stood around awkwardly for a moment before dispersing.
"We should probably get going. I still don't know how we got here, so it'll probably take a while to figure out how to get home. Anyone see any wells around here?"
InuYasha started down the hill in the same direction that the colonel had run and was soon followed by Miroku and Kagome.
"Well, look on the bright side, we did find a shard of the Shikon Jewel here, so maybe it's a good thing Kagome had no clue what she was doing."
Kagome scowled at the comment.
"Wait! What did you say?" a Rebel soldier asked as he rushed after them.
The group stopped and turned to look at the man.
"Did you say something about a jewel shard?"
Miroku rolled his eyes and turned to InuYasha.
"Where has this guy been?"
Ignoring the comment, the Rebel pulled something out of his haversack.
"I found this by the shoe factory in Gettysburg. It was nice and shiny, so I picked it up."
Looking at the object in the soldier's hand, Kagome noticed him stroking and cradling a fragment of the sacred jewel.
"That's a jewel shard all right," Kagome said.
"Yes," the soldier hissed. "It's mine, my own, my preciousss..."
The three companions stared at the soldier for a moment before the same thought crossed all of their minds.
"It's very important that we have that," Miroku said, pointing at the jewel shard.
"No, it's mine. It's my birthday, you know. It's my birthday today. I was just showing you. I won't share."
The soldier stood mesmerized by the shard for several moments, staring at it as it lay in his open palm.
"Well, happy birthday, then," InuYasha said as he snatched the jewel fragment and replaced it with a slightly bruised apple from his pocket.
The soldier's jaw dropped, and for a moment the trio feared retaliation. But soon he was grinning as he skipped off singing, "Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me..."
"Two shards in one day!" Miroku said, giving InuYasha a very awkward high five.
"Umm, not quite," Kagome replied. "I think that's the same shard that was in the demon. I must have dropped it when I went to the shoe factory."
"What? When did you go to the shoe factory? We didn't see you leave."
InuYasha looked from Kagome to the shard he held in his hand. Miroku raised an eyebrow and quickly took the shard from the hanyou.
"A girl can never have too many pairs of shoes, and when I spotted the shoe factory I decided to make a really quick stop."
She grinned and held out two plastic bags labeled "Gettysburg Shoe Factory – The Price is No Myth." Both bags were filled with shoes.
"Sorry about that," she finished.
"I've never understood women," Miroku said as he and InuYasha started down the hill again.
"Tell me about it," InuYasha replied as he looked back at Kagome who was struggling to balance herself and her bags on the rocky slope.
"It's okay, I got it," she called.
The sun was setting as the three ventured toward the town of Gettysburg to look for a way to get home.
"Too bad we never got to ask those guys if they knew the way home. They might have been helpful," Kagome sighed, obviously hungry for one of those hamburgers that she had promised InuYasha.
"I don't even know where we were. What was that place called?" Miroku asked, looking back over his shoulder.
InuYasha looked over his shoulder as well and answered, "Well, it was some sort of hill with lots of trees and a little round top."
Miroku nodded, not really satisfied with the answer, but sure that it was the best he would be getting any time soon.
Suddenly strange music began playing as if out of nowhere.
I have to escape, and I will go anywhere if you just lead the way
Escape to a place where we'll be together, together everyday
We have to escape...
The three resisted the urge to dance and continued on their way. It took them many days, but finally they returned home and lived happily ever after. Or something.
All Good [and not so good] Things Must Have a Funny Ending Theme Song
As the demon's body shriveled, Kagome ran over and retrieved the jewel shard.
"Yes! We got it!"
The soldiers gave a round of applause, and Sesshomaru stomped off, muttering under his breath something about revenge and a jewel shard and something about Naraku...
"Are you alright?" InuYasha asked Miroku who was still sitting on the ground, cradling his hand.
"Yes, but whatever that thing was, it blocked my wind tunnel."
"Well, here," Kagome said as she pulled up Miroku's sleeve and flipped the "Reverse" switch on the monk's arm.
There was a blast of air and the cannonball shot out of Miroku's hand, landing on the far side of the hill.
"Wow, I never knew I could do that."
"That is one impressive wind tunnel. How do you do that?"
Chamberlain slowly strode over from his perch at the top of the hill.
"Well, it started when my grandfather was cursed by Naraku..."
"That's interesting," the colonel said sarcastically, pushing Miroku aside as he made his way toward Kagome who now stood next to InuYasha.
"Are you alright, dear?" he asked, taking Kagome's hand in his own as if genuinely concerned.
"Yes, I'm fine," she said, pulling away from him. "My friends always take care of me."
"Yeah, I didn't see you trying to do anything to stop that demon," InuYasha commented, folding his arms.
"And you weren't doing anything during the battle, either. You were hiding behind a tree!" one of the Maine men shouted.
"Whoever made you colonel should be shot!" someone else added.
There were more yells from the angry Yankees as a mob formed and slowly moved in on Chamberlain.
"Now, now, fellas. Let's not act so rashly."
But the mob would have none of it and chased the colonel down the hill and all the way to Washington. The few Rebels that had not joined in the mob stood around awkwardly for a moment before dispersing.
"We should probably get going. I still don't know how we got here, so it'll probably take a while to figure out how to get home. Anyone see any wells around here?"
InuYasha started down the hill in the same direction that the colonel had run and was soon followed by Miroku and Kagome.
"Well, look on the bright side, we did find a shard of the Shikon Jewel here, so maybe it's a good thing Kagome had no clue what she was doing."
Kagome scowled at the comment.
"Wait! What did you say?" a Rebel soldier asked as he rushed after them.
The group stopped and turned to look at the man.
"Did you say something about a jewel shard?"
Miroku rolled his eyes and turned to InuYasha.
"Where has this guy been?"
Ignoring the comment, the Rebel pulled something out of his haversack.
"I found this by the shoe factory in Gettysburg. It was nice and shiny, so I picked it up."
Looking at the object in the soldier's hand, Kagome noticed him stroking and cradling a fragment of the sacred jewel.
"That's a jewel shard all right," Kagome said.
"Yes," the soldier hissed. "It's mine, my own, my preciousss..."
The three companions stared at the soldier for a moment before the same thought crossed all of their minds.
"It's very important that we have that," Miroku said, pointing at the jewel shard.
"No, it's mine. It's my birthday, you know. It's my birthday today. I was just showing you. I won't share."
The soldier stood mesmerized by the shard for several moments, staring at it as it lay in his open palm.
"Well, happy birthday, then," InuYasha said as he snatched the jewel fragment and replaced it with a slightly bruised apple from his pocket.
The soldier's jaw dropped, and for a moment the trio feared retaliation. But soon he was grinning as he skipped off singing, "Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me..."
"Two shards in one day!" Miroku said, giving InuYasha a very awkward high five.
"Umm, not quite," Kagome replied. "I think that's the same shard that was in the demon. I must have dropped it when I went to the shoe factory."
"What? When did you go to the shoe factory? We didn't see you leave."
InuYasha looked from Kagome to the shard he held in his hand. Miroku raised an eyebrow and quickly took the shard from the hanyou.
"A girl can never have too many pairs of shoes, and when I spotted the shoe factory I decided to make a really quick stop."
She grinned and held out two plastic bags labeled "Gettysburg Shoe Factory – The Price is No Myth." Both bags were filled with shoes.
"Sorry about that," she finished.
"I've never understood women," Miroku said as he and InuYasha started down the hill again.
"Tell me about it," InuYasha replied as he looked back at Kagome who was struggling to balance herself and her bags on the rocky slope.
"It's okay, I got it," she called.
The sun was setting as the three ventured toward the town of Gettysburg to look for a way to get home.
"Too bad we never got to ask those guys if they knew the way home. They might have been helpful," Kagome sighed, obviously hungry for one of those hamburgers that she had promised InuYasha.
"I don't even know where we were. What was that place called?" Miroku asked, looking back over his shoulder.
InuYasha looked over his shoulder as well and answered, "Well, it was some sort of hill with lots of trees and a little round top."
Miroku nodded, not really satisfied with the answer, but sure that it was the best he would be getting any time soon.
Suddenly strange music began playing as if out of nowhere.
I have to escape, and I will go anywhere if you just lead the way
Escape to a place where we'll be together, together everyday
We have to escape...
The three resisted the urge to dance and continued on their way. It took them many days, but finally they returned home and lived happily ever after. Or something.