****Thanks for everyone's patience! I had a major case of writer's block
last chapter and therefore forced a chapter out, much to my chagrin. It
wasn't my best work to say the least! I apologize for an uneven plot line
as well; I promise we will come full circle with the personality switch.
This is the longest fic I have written to date and I will try to finish it
up within five more chapters at the most. Thanks again for all the support
and the well constructed criticism, I greatly appreciate both!
Chapter 19 A Slow Boil
Helga rubbed her eyes, causing the heavily caked on mascara to smear into two huge rings of onyx around her striking blue orbs.
Brainy?
Barney crossed his arms defensively. "Just what are you doing here, asthma boy?"
"Uh...(wheeze)..Nothing..." Brainy breathed in reply, his squinty eyes downcast and twitching with delight.
"I see. Alrighty then, let's be on our way Helga," Barney sniffed, shooting Brainy a look of disdain. He despised anyone he deemed less perfect than himself.
"Riiiight," Helga replied slowly, somewhat awed that Brainy had gone as far as to follow her to the park. He normally only tailed her when she was alone. Distractedly, she allowed Barney to escort her to the path leading from the park by the crook of one arm.
Phoebe slapped herself in the forehead. "Where is she GOING?" she wondered aloud. She clutched her supplies in the brown paper bag under her arm: a ball of twine, some fly paper, a box of tacks and a watermelon. How could she pull the tricks Helga had asked her to if they were already leaving?
Just as they approached the path leading out of the park onto the city sidewalk, Helga snapped out of her dream like state.
"Hey, where do you think we're going, bucko?" Helga spat suddenly.
"To the boardwalk, as we discussed only moments ago," Barney replied dryly, as though he were explaining something to a senile old woman for the millionth time.
Speaking of senile old women....
"Eleanor! What a pleasure to see you here!" The crusty old woman was clad in a George Washington wig and full revolutionary war regalia. She had Arnold's pet pig Abner under one arm and what looked like a staff under the other one. She smiled warmly at the towering twelve year old dressed in olive and puce.
"Grandma! I mean, Gertie, how nice to, uh, see you too!" Helga played along, seeing a small but distinct window of opportunity.
"Out on official white house business, I presume," Grandma winked a silvery grey eye in her direction. "I'll keep that under my feathered hat and call it minestrone," she chuckled maniacally.
"Isn't the term supposed to be macaroni?" Barney interrupted the highly unusual conversation. "And wouldn't you have to be Yankee Doodle?"
"TRAITOR!" Grandma shouted at once, drawing a plastic light saber from her sash, dropping the relieved looking pig in the same instance.
Barney's freckled face went ghostly white, while Helga's lips twitched with barely suppressed laughter.
"I was just saying!" Barney stammered nervously. "I'm no Benedict Arnold!"
"Oh, so you even know the treacherous family of which I speak, ey? SPY!!,"
Helga saw her chance, and took it as quickly as possible.
"Come now, General. We don't know what enemy spies maybe lurking nearby, just waiting for the chance to take Valley Forge. Let's let this spy go as. As an example to the enemy. I'll even escort you back to camp as a peace offering. What do you say?" Helga crossed her fingers nervously in anticipation.
"Well....we ARE only fighting this war for freedom from the redcoats. I guess it would be a show of good will not to run you through, teabag," Grandma answered slowly, lowering the tattered lime green light saber. She shoved in back in her navy blue belt sash and narrowed her eyes. "Get thee hence, limey,"
"But Helga, our date," Barney looked at her helplessly. He was torn between running for the hills and continuing his date plans with her.
Helga took the crook of Grandma's arm and smiled sadly as she could muster. "Alas, Brumhilda, I need to escort Arnold's grandmother home before any more innocent citizens are taken under military arrest. I know you'll understand,"
"Well, I .." He stuttered, unable to think of the proper way to defend himself.
"Thanks for the lovely picnic, it was just EVER so enchanting," Helga called as the two of them boarded a horse drawn carriage that had just pulled up. "Au revouir, Barnacle!"
Barney watched as the eclectic but enchanting girl of his dreams rode off with that crazy old lunatic. He rubbed his arm, searching his mind for reason.
Then it hit him.
ARNOLD'S Grandma??
"That's right, your grandma," Stinky and Sid were sitting on a park bench at the opposite end of Tina Park. "She tried to make us sign a peace treaty like, 20 minutes ago. It was weird, even for YOUR grandma," Sid recounted with more than a hint of laughter in his voice.
"You shoulda seen her, Arnold. She had Abner under her arm too. Said she was taking him to the hoosegow for impersonating an officer," Stinky chuckled.
Arnold slapped his forehead, his splayed fingers running the length of his face. He took a deep breath. "Okay, so my grandma is George Washington today, big deal," he murmured impatiently. "You still haven't answered my question. Did you see the person I was talking about?"
"Yeah, yeah. About 10 minutes before that, 'round the pond area on the south bank," Sid replied through choked giggling.
"Thanks, guys. I appreciate your help," Arnold grabbed his backpack and stalked away.
"What's his problem?" Stinky asked Sid, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes as they watched their friend storm away.
He knew it was a long shot, but he had to try. He approached the south bank of the pond, searching the scenery desperately for any sign of his suspect. Nothing.
He sat down on a nearby bench in a huff, frustration finally taking over him.
Why did this have to be so difficult?
"Hey, what are YOU doing here?"
********That's it for now! Sorry it didn't cover a lot of the story. I had to get this transitional chapter out of the way in order to get to a conclusion soon! Hope you all like it!********
Chapter 19 A Slow Boil
Helga rubbed her eyes, causing the heavily caked on mascara to smear into two huge rings of onyx around her striking blue orbs.
Brainy?
Barney crossed his arms defensively. "Just what are you doing here, asthma boy?"
"Uh...(wheeze)..Nothing..." Brainy breathed in reply, his squinty eyes downcast and twitching with delight.
"I see. Alrighty then, let's be on our way Helga," Barney sniffed, shooting Brainy a look of disdain. He despised anyone he deemed less perfect than himself.
"Riiiight," Helga replied slowly, somewhat awed that Brainy had gone as far as to follow her to the park. He normally only tailed her when she was alone. Distractedly, she allowed Barney to escort her to the path leading from the park by the crook of one arm.
Phoebe slapped herself in the forehead. "Where is she GOING?" she wondered aloud. She clutched her supplies in the brown paper bag under her arm: a ball of twine, some fly paper, a box of tacks and a watermelon. How could she pull the tricks Helga had asked her to if they were already leaving?
Just as they approached the path leading out of the park onto the city sidewalk, Helga snapped out of her dream like state.
"Hey, where do you think we're going, bucko?" Helga spat suddenly.
"To the boardwalk, as we discussed only moments ago," Barney replied dryly, as though he were explaining something to a senile old woman for the millionth time.
Speaking of senile old women....
"Eleanor! What a pleasure to see you here!" The crusty old woman was clad in a George Washington wig and full revolutionary war regalia. She had Arnold's pet pig Abner under one arm and what looked like a staff under the other one. She smiled warmly at the towering twelve year old dressed in olive and puce.
"Grandma! I mean, Gertie, how nice to, uh, see you too!" Helga played along, seeing a small but distinct window of opportunity.
"Out on official white house business, I presume," Grandma winked a silvery grey eye in her direction. "I'll keep that under my feathered hat and call it minestrone," she chuckled maniacally.
"Isn't the term supposed to be macaroni?" Barney interrupted the highly unusual conversation. "And wouldn't you have to be Yankee Doodle?"
"TRAITOR!" Grandma shouted at once, drawing a plastic light saber from her sash, dropping the relieved looking pig in the same instance.
Barney's freckled face went ghostly white, while Helga's lips twitched with barely suppressed laughter.
"I was just saying!" Barney stammered nervously. "I'm no Benedict Arnold!"
"Oh, so you even know the treacherous family of which I speak, ey? SPY!!,"
Helga saw her chance, and took it as quickly as possible.
"Come now, General. We don't know what enemy spies maybe lurking nearby, just waiting for the chance to take Valley Forge. Let's let this spy go as. As an example to the enemy. I'll even escort you back to camp as a peace offering. What do you say?" Helga crossed her fingers nervously in anticipation.
"Well....we ARE only fighting this war for freedom from the redcoats. I guess it would be a show of good will not to run you through, teabag," Grandma answered slowly, lowering the tattered lime green light saber. She shoved in back in her navy blue belt sash and narrowed her eyes. "Get thee hence, limey,"
"But Helga, our date," Barney looked at her helplessly. He was torn between running for the hills and continuing his date plans with her.
Helga took the crook of Grandma's arm and smiled sadly as she could muster. "Alas, Brumhilda, I need to escort Arnold's grandmother home before any more innocent citizens are taken under military arrest. I know you'll understand,"
"Well, I .." He stuttered, unable to think of the proper way to defend himself.
"Thanks for the lovely picnic, it was just EVER so enchanting," Helga called as the two of them boarded a horse drawn carriage that had just pulled up. "Au revouir, Barnacle!"
Barney watched as the eclectic but enchanting girl of his dreams rode off with that crazy old lunatic. He rubbed his arm, searching his mind for reason.
Then it hit him.
ARNOLD'S Grandma??
"That's right, your grandma," Stinky and Sid were sitting on a park bench at the opposite end of Tina Park. "She tried to make us sign a peace treaty like, 20 minutes ago. It was weird, even for YOUR grandma," Sid recounted with more than a hint of laughter in his voice.
"You shoulda seen her, Arnold. She had Abner under her arm too. Said she was taking him to the hoosegow for impersonating an officer," Stinky chuckled.
Arnold slapped his forehead, his splayed fingers running the length of his face. He took a deep breath. "Okay, so my grandma is George Washington today, big deal," he murmured impatiently. "You still haven't answered my question. Did you see the person I was talking about?"
"Yeah, yeah. About 10 minutes before that, 'round the pond area on the south bank," Sid replied through choked giggling.
"Thanks, guys. I appreciate your help," Arnold grabbed his backpack and stalked away.
"What's his problem?" Stinky asked Sid, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes as they watched their friend storm away.
He knew it was a long shot, but he had to try. He approached the south bank of the pond, searching the scenery desperately for any sign of his suspect. Nothing.
He sat down on a nearby bench in a huff, frustration finally taking over him.
Why did this have to be so difficult?
"Hey, what are YOU doing here?"
********That's it for now! Sorry it didn't cover a lot of the story. I had to get this transitional chapter out of the way in order to get to a conclusion soon! Hope you all like it!********