I don't think anyone is reading this but ... oh well. What can you do?
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Lights blazed down on me, faces I didn't recognize were uncomfortably close to mine, I was wet and cold, and the newt thing I knew there was this burning pain inside my neck as they shoved a tube down my throat. Trying not to gag, I realized I was in a hospital. All the doctors and nurses running around morphed into a blur of colors. Were my eyes watering? A stab of pain rose within my wrist and quickly disappeared. Everything around me was so hectic.
My eyes opened to the bright lights on the ceiling. I must have passed out or something. Footsteps approached the right side of my bed. "Rinoa, why did you do that?" It was Squall. I could recognize his soft voice in my sleep. "Why?" he asked again. I couldn't find my voice to answer him. He sighed and sat down in a chair nearby. I made him upset again. I feel like a horrible person. Poor Squall, always bothering himself with me and my problems. He should really get a girlfriend, or a better friend at least. Dr. Christenson steps in the doorway and dismisses Squall for the time being.
"So, Rinoa," she started, "what made you do what you did tonight?"
I mumbled, "I don't know."
"Did you have a bad day?" I shrugged. "Did something happen?"
"I thought you weren't supposed to come until next week."
"Well when something like this happens, I'd like to know why so I can help."
"You mean it's your job to get into my business."
"Whatever you want to call it," she said. "Do you have anything you'd like to share with me?"
For some reason, I was starting to get mad. "Why don't you tell me what you'd like me to talk about? Do you want me to tell you something sad? Would that make you happy? Well how's this for you: my mom's dead, my dad hates me, and my boyfriends cheating on me! Is that fucking good enough for you?! Huh?!" I burst into tears.
"Is that why you did that? Because of your boyfriend?" I nodded. She placed her hand on my shoulder and I brushed it off.
"Don't touch me."
"Okay, okay. Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not now, maybe tomorrow."
She said, "That's fine." She started to leave.
"Wait," I called to her. She looked at back at me. "Can you do me a favor? I don't think I could handle it if Seifer showed up. Do you think you could-"
"Consider it done. See you in the morning."
Sleep wasn't coming to me easily. I kept thinking about Squall. I wonder if he knows that Seifer is cheating on me. What would he do once he found out? Would he do anything to Seifer? Probably not. I think the most he'd do is lecture me. "We told you not to do anything with him," he'd say. I wonder if Seifer is worried about me at all. I'd be surprised if he even knew I was here. Anyways, I'm sure Squall is worried enough about me for the both of them. My dad would be so pissed if he ever found out. That'd give him another reason to be ashamed of me. He's always blamed me for my mother's death, though I'm not sure why. I sighed and tried to get to sleep.
When I woke up, Squall was sitting next to me again. He looked tired, like he hadn't slept at all. I turned on my side to look at him. I mumbled, "Squall, why are you still here? Why don't you go home?" His eyes met mine and I felt like I could see into his soul but I still had no idea what he was thinking.
"I just came to see how you were," he said quietly. "Why do you always get so mad at me? I want to make sure you're okay."
"Has Seifer come by yet?"
"Nope. Are you expecting him?"
"Kind of but if he comes ... could you keep him away from me?" He nodded and asked me what happened last night. "I'm not ready to talk about it yet," I told him. "Can I tell you later, please?"
"Of course." Dr. Christenson walked in and Squall left the room.
"Squall!" He stuck his head in the doorway. "Come back later, okay?" He nodded.
Dr. Christenson, "Feeling a little better this morning?"
"A little," I lied. "So what do you want to know?"
"What happened? Why did you try to drown yourself?"
"I figured it was my calling. I don't have a reason to live unless you count getting hit every time Seifer gets mad about something."
"He hits you?"
I shrugged and said, "Sometimes."
"Has he hit you recently?"
"I don't wanna talk about that anymore." I changed the subject by feeding her the story of what I saw the day before. It was quiet for a minute before Dr. Christenson asked me how that made me feel. "How does that make me feel?! Are you fucking stupid?! He's fucking around with another woman behind my back! How do you think that makes me feel?!"
She sighed, "Rinoa, I just want you to express yourself. I don't want you to feel like you have to hold anything in. Tell me what you think."
"I think you have no idea what you're doing! You can't help me. The only one who can is me and my way does not involve talking. It involves my arm and a knife!"
"Rinoa, you don't strike me as the suicidal type. You wouldn't have done that in front of all those people if you were serious." I just stared at her. "Didn't you notice the boats and the fisherman around you?" There were fishermen there, huh? Now that I think about it, I remember hearing voices muffled by the blanket of water that surrounded me. She said, "How old were you when your mother died?"
"Four or five."
"Do you remember anything about her?"
I smiled. "Oh my mom was beautiful and a singer too. She's very talented. My favorite song's called 'Eyes on Me.' I loved to sit next to her on the piano bench and watch her play. Dad always told me it was my fault that she died."
"Was her relationship with your dad good?"
"Um, yeah. I mean they fought once in a while but everyone does that."
"Did he ever hit her?"
"I don't think so. If he did, I would've known the whole city would have talked about it. It would've got around, you know."
"Did she ever wear make up?"
"Only a few times ... what are you getting at?"
"Think about their relationship for a while." I sighed and just sat there stubbornly, but it didn't take long for my mind to pick up a train of thought. I remember one night I couldn't sleep because they were arguing again. I was worried about mom. She was crying and I could hear the unmistakable sound of flesh hitting flesh. How could I forget that? I felt like I'd pushed out an important part in my life. Back then, I had a plan. I was going to get out of that house and take my mom with me. I felt that I was her rescuer, and now I'd forgotten about it. "Rinoa, how did your mom die?" Dr. Christenson asked. Car accident, I tried to say but nothing would come out. "Did your dad do it?" Tears were rising. This was too much.
"Leave," I mumbled firmly. "Send Squall in here on your way out." She left the room and Squall came back in. I threw myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck and crying into his jacket. He stroked my hair a little. I've never gotten this much comfort from Seifer. In fact, he's never tried to comfort me. I can always depend on Squall though. He's never let me down. I couldn't bring myself to talk so I didn't tell Squall why I threw myself in the water and thankfully he didn't ask.
About eight o' clock that night; there was commotion in the hallway. Seifer had finally shown up, unfortunately. He was arguing with the nurses. "She's my fucking girlfriend," he yelled. "I have the right to see her!" Someone told him they had specific orders not to let him through. "What?! Who the fuck ordered that?! Get out of my way! Rinoa! Tell them to let me in!" He came in and looked at me. I shook my head and hid. "Ah you fucking bitch..." One of the guards demanded that he leave. "Alright." Before he left, I heard him whisper, "I'll deal with you when you get home."
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There's the third chapter. Any of you interested in more?
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Lights blazed down on me, faces I didn't recognize were uncomfortably close to mine, I was wet and cold, and the newt thing I knew there was this burning pain inside my neck as they shoved a tube down my throat. Trying not to gag, I realized I was in a hospital. All the doctors and nurses running around morphed into a blur of colors. Were my eyes watering? A stab of pain rose within my wrist and quickly disappeared. Everything around me was so hectic.
My eyes opened to the bright lights on the ceiling. I must have passed out or something. Footsteps approached the right side of my bed. "Rinoa, why did you do that?" It was Squall. I could recognize his soft voice in my sleep. "Why?" he asked again. I couldn't find my voice to answer him. He sighed and sat down in a chair nearby. I made him upset again. I feel like a horrible person. Poor Squall, always bothering himself with me and my problems. He should really get a girlfriend, or a better friend at least. Dr. Christenson steps in the doorway and dismisses Squall for the time being.
"So, Rinoa," she started, "what made you do what you did tonight?"
I mumbled, "I don't know."
"Did you have a bad day?" I shrugged. "Did something happen?"
"I thought you weren't supposed to come until next week."
"Well when something like this happens, I'd like to know why so I can help."
"You mean it's your job to get into my business."
"Whatever you want to call it," she said. "Do you have anything you'd like to share with me?"
For some reason, I was starting to get mad. "Why don't you tell me what you'd like me to talk about? Do you want me to tell you something sad? Would that make you happy? Well how's this for you: my mom's dead, my dad hates me, and my boyfriends cheating on me! Is that fucking good enough for you?! Huh?!" I burst into tears.
"Is that why you did that? Because of your boyfriend?" I nodded. She placed her hand on my shoulder and I brushed it off.
"Don't touch me."
"Okay, okay. Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not now, maybe tomorrow."
She said, "That's fine." She started to leave.
"Wait," I called to her. She looked at back at me. "Can you do me a favor? I don't think I could handle it if Seifer showed up. Do you think you could-"
"Consider it done. See you in the morning."
Sleep wasn't coming to me easily. I kept thinking about Squall. I wonder if he knows that Seifer is cheating on me. What would he do once he found out? Would he do anything to Seifer? Probably not. I think the most he'd do is lecture me. "We told you not to do anything with him," he'd say. I wonder if Seifer is worried about me at all. I'd be surprised if he even knew I was here. Anyways, I'm sure Squall is worried enough about me for the both of them. My dad would be so pissed if he ever found out. That'd give him another reason to be ashamed of me. He's always blamed me for my mother's death, though I'm not sure why. I sighed and tried to get to sleep.
When I woke up, Squall was sitting next to me again. He looked tired, like he hadn't slept at all. I turned on my side to look at him. I mumbled, "Squall, why are you still here? Why don't you go home?" His eyes met mine and I felt like I could see into his soul but I still had no idea what he was thinking.
"I just came to see how you were," he said quietly. "Why do you always get so mad at me? I want to make sure you're okay."
"Has Seifer come by yet?"
"Nope. Are you expecting him?"
"Kind of but if he comes ... could you keep him away from me?" He nodded and asked me what happened last night. "I'm not ready to talk about it yet," I told him. "Can I tell you later, please?"
"Of course." Dr. Christenson walked in and Squall left the room.
"Squall!" He stuck his head in the doorway. "Come back later, okay?" He nodded.
Dr. Christenson, "Feeling a little better this morning?"
"A little," I lied. "So what do you want to know?"
"What happened? Why did you try to drown yourself?"
"I figured it was my calling. I don't have a reason to live unless you count getting hit every time Seifer gets mad about something."
"He hits you?"
I shrugged and said, "Sometimes."
"Has he hit you recently?"
"I don't wanna talk about that anymore." I changed the subject by feeding her the story of what I saw the day before. It was quiet for a minute before Dr. Christenson asked me how that made me feel. "How does that make me feel?! Are you fucking stupid?! He's fucking around with another woman behind my back! How do you think that makes me feel?!"
She sighed, "Rinoa, I just want you to express yourself. I don't want you to feel like you have to hold anything in. Tell me what you think."
"I think you have no idea what you're doing! You can't help me. The only one who can is me and my way does not involve talking. It involves my arm and a knife!"
"Rinoa, you don't strike me as the suicidal type. You wouldn't have done that in front of all those people if you were serious." I just stared at her. "Didn't you notice the boats and the fisherman around you?" There were fishermen there, huh? Now that I think about it, I remember hearing voices muffled by the blanket of water that surrounded me. She said, "How old were you when your mother died?"
"Four or five."
"Do you remember anything about her?"
I smiled. "Oh my mom was beautiful and a singer too. She's very talented. My favorite song's called 'Eyes on Me.' I loved to sit next to her on the piano bench and watch her play. Dad always told me it was my fault that she died."
"Was her relationship with your dad good?"
"Um, yeah. I mean they fought once in a while but everyone does that."
"Did he ever hit her?"
"I don't think so. If he did, I would've known the whole city would have talked about it. It would've got around, you know."
"Did she ever wear make up?"
"Only a few times ... what are you getting at?"
"Think about their relationship for a while." I sighed and just sat there stubbornly, but it didn't take long for my mind to pick up a train of thought. I remember one night I couldn't sleep because they were arguing again. I was worried about mom. She was crying and I could hear the unmistakable sound of flesh hitting flesh. How could I forget that? I felt like I'd pushed out an important part in my life. Back then, I had a plan. I was going to get out of that house and take my mom with me. I felt that I was her rescuer, and now I'd forgotten about it. "Rinoa, how did your mom die?" Dr. Christenson asked. Car accident, I tried to say but nothing would come out. "Did your dad do it?" Tears were rising. This was too much.
"Leave," I mumbled firmly. "Send Squall in here on your way out." She left the room and Squall came back in. I threw myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck and crying into his jacket. He stroked my hair a little. I've never gotten this much comfort from Seifer. In fact, he's never tried to comfort me. I can always depend on Squall though. He's never let me down. I couldn't bring myself to talk so I didn't tell Squall why I threw myself in the water and thankfully he didn't ask.
About eight o' clock that night; there was commotion in the hallway. Seifer had finally shown up, unfortunately. He was arguing with the nurses. "She's my fucking girlfriend," he yelled. "I have the right to see her!" Someone told him they had specific orders not to let him through. "What?! Who the fuck ordered that?! Get out of my way! Rinoa! Tell them to let me in!" He came in and looked at me. I shook my head and hid. "Ah you fucking bitch..." One of the guards demanded that he leave. "Alright." Before he left, I heard him whisper, "I'll deal with you when you get home."
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There's the third chapter. Any of you interested in more?