Seifer's threat stuck in my mind and I was afraid to go back. I told
Squall and Dr. Christenson that I was going to stay at a hotel in Timber
for a while. Squall said he wanted to go with me. When I thought about it,
I didn't know how well I could defend myself if Seifer came after me, so I
told Squall yes. Before we left, Dr. Christenson said she'd come by to see
me in a few days. We boarded the train. Neither of us spoke the whole way
there. When we arrived, Squall asked if I wanted him to sleep on the floor.
I said, "No I'd be more comfortable if you stayed in the bed with me. I
mean, if you don't care."
"That's fine," he answered shyly. It had been a few days since he'd smiled. I tried to think of something to say to bring it out.
"You know Squall, you can't get aids by sharing a bed."
It worked, he smiled. "Are you saying you have aids?"
"Nope. Just thought I'd tell you. See what you were worried about Actually; I just wanted to make you smile. I love your smile."
"You should've told me that before, maybe I'll do it more often." Never have I wanted to kiss a guy so bad. Okay, so I did want to kiss Seifer but that ended when our relationship got ugly. Now I just do it because that's what couples do. They're supposed to hug and kiss. That's just how it is. For some reason, talking to Squall reminded me of the first time we had a serious conversation. We connected through our loss of people important to us. I lost my mother and he lost his "sister". I say "sister" like that because the girl wasn't actually related to him, or at least, I don't think so. Well, we were sitting on the small balcony in the balcony in the back of the Training Center. Apparently that's the make out spot in Garden. Thankfully nobody was out there when we were. I'm not sure how the conversation started exactly. I think I asked Squall if he ever saw his parents.
"I've never seen my parents," he'd confessed quietly. "I grew up in an orphanage."
"Did you have any family?" I asked.
"Just sis. She disappeared one day though. Never saw her again."
"Do you know what happened to her?"
"No. No one does. Everybody was sad when she left. Then we all left the orphanage because Edea was taking us to Garden. Why did you come here?"
"To get away from my dad," I told him. "He's hated me since my mom died in a car accident when I was little. I miss her so much. We were close even though I was really young."
"I don't think sis is dead but I doubt I'll ever see her again." He shifted uncomfortably and added, "Sorry about your mom." There was more to the conversation but I can't remember the rest.
Now when we talk, we don't seem to say a lot but we don't have to. Squall's been a little sad lately, or that's how his "aurora" feels. If I ask him, he'll either lie or clam up on me. I'll take my chances. "Squall," I said quietly. "Why are you so sad? I mean, you seem so distant."
He said, "I- I don't think we should talk about that. I'm fine. How are you feeling?"
"Okay." Silence hung between us for a few minutes. This felt like hell. I don't know why. Maybe I'm thinking too much. Sometimes that can ruin my mood, even if I'm not thinking about anything upsetting. I need a distraction. A knife, sharp edge, something, anything. I have to stop thinking. This is driving me insane. When I finally stand up I head for the bathroom and shut the door. There has to be something in here. I started going through the medicine cabinet. Nothing but hotel soaps and shampoos. Maybe I can find a store that sells aspirin or something. I came back out of the bathroom and told Squall I was going for a walk. He volunteered to go with me. "No that's fine," I said. "I just want to go see if they have any, uh, feminine products anywhere. You know." He nodded and looked away, obviously embarrassed by the topic. I retreated outside without trying to seem eager.
The air was cool, the wind was blowing, and dark clouds were beginning to take over the sky. It was going to rain. Couldn't come at a better time too. For some reason, I felt like crying. Emotions are weird aren't they? Sometimes you feel something and have no idea why. At least, I get that way. I quickly made my way to a small side shop by the town's pub. When I asked the lady if she had any aspirin she said, "This ain't no drug store."
I felt my face flush as I said, "Well I just thought maybe-"
"Well you thought wrong, girlie. Why don't you go back home? I'm sure it's passed your bedtime." She gave me a smug grin.
"Yeah well maybe you should think about changing your business. You're right by the pub. You might be able to get a drunk guy to pay you for sex. Don't get your hopes up though." She growled. I went inside the pub and ordered a bottle of whiskey. The man asked me for some I.D. so I offered him an extra forty bucks. He agreed. After that, I sat by the train tracks. I broke the bottle against the curb and watched the liquid trickle down the edge, forming a pool of booze and glittering pieces of glass. I broke it again to make a piece I could use then slid the sharp edge against the skin concealed by my arm warmer. Warm blood immediately surfaced. Drops of water began to hit me gently on the head. As I let the pain sink in I stared at the dark pit that the tracks led to. What would it be like to jump in front of a train? Having the last thing you see be the bright lights of the front car? And what if has soon as you jump, you wish you could take it back and end up dying anyway? What would the last thought in your head be? How long would it hurt?
By time all these questions passed through my mind it was raining harder. I slipped my arm warmer back on, kicked the glass near the tracks and made the walk back getting soaked along the way. When I stepped into the room, Squall looked up. "It's raining," I told him.
He said, "I can see that. Rinoa, where were you?" He paused and took my arm. I tried to pull away but he had a firm grip on me. "You're bleeding. You cut yourself again didn't you?" I didn't answer. He slipped the arm warmer off and found something to bandage my cut. The worried look on his face saddened me. Why does he always have to bother himself with my problems? He'd probably be a lot happier if he'd just forget me. Sometimes I wanna scream in his face. Scream so much he'll want to be away from me. I don't want to ruin his life too.
"I'm not worth your time," I mumbled. He just looked at me, showing no sign of annoyance or thinking I was an idiot.
"Why do you say that?" I just shrugged. What did he want me to say? I don't know how to explain myself without making him mad. He sighed a little, apparently giving up, an asked, "Do you have any extra clothes to wear?" I shook my head. "Do you want me to find something for you?"
"No I can manage 'til tomorrow." In the bathroom I threw all my wet clothes in the bathtub with the exception of my shorts and tanktop. Then I climbed in bed next to Squall. My eyes sting because I'm tired but I don't want to go to sleep. Squall is still awake too. I wish I could touch his hair and rest my head on his chest. I shouldn't be thinking that kind of stuff. I have a boyfriend.
It took me a while to fall asleep and I had a weird dream. I was walking through Timber, making my way to the train tracks. It was cold and the sun was just starting to rise but there wasn't the blend of colors in the sky that usually shows up early in the morning. My goal was to throw myself in front of the train. When I arrived at the tracks, I saw the bright headlights coming down the tunnel. I sucked in a breath and got ready for the fall. When the timing was right, I jumped. The last thought in my head was, "I didn't get to tell Squall..." When the train hit me, I shot up in bed, screaming myself awake.
Squall jumped and asked me what was wrong. To tell the truth, there was nothing wrong. I wasn't upset and I wasn't scared. I'm not sure why I screamed, I just ... did. Squall sat up. "Rinoa, what's wrong?" he repeated. "Please tell me." I shook my head and told him it was nothing. He seemed disappointed. He probably thought I was keeping something from him, like I don't trust him. I do trust him, but ... what would his reaction be if I told him I had a dream I jumped in front of a train? I convinced him I was okay and he went back to sleep. I stayed awake the rest of the night.
Dr. Christenson came to see me the next day. She brought some clothes Squall had Selphie pick out. Selphie was about my size. I went in the bathroom and changed. A white jean skirt, a white short-sleeved vest, and a black tank top to go with it. When I came back, Dr. Christenson was sitting on a chair. Squall left earlier to go talk with the others. They were all hanging out on the bridge above the train tracks until my session with Dr. Christenson was over. After that they were coming to visit with me. I took a seat on the bed. I smiled. "So Dr. Christenson, what brings you here?"
"You know why I'm here, Rinoa," she said. "Let's talk a little."
"Okay. About what?"
"Let's start with your father, General Caraway. What happened after your mother died?"
After my mother died, huh? That could easily be summed up. "He hated me."
She sighed, "I thought you'd say that. Tell me when you saw the change."
"There wasn't really a change. It was just more noticeable, you know? Well, I remember the funeral wasn't until the weekend after she died. That week was hell. The day the news reached me about my mom, I cried in my room. One of the servants had to tell me because my dad left right after hearing it. I've always assumed he went to the hospital to see her but..." I shook my head. "With him you never know. Anyway, I cried the whole night. The next day when I woke up, my dad was back. I silently wished he would hug me but I already knew that he wasn't going to happen. I climbed up on a chair next to him. He was reading the paper. When he noticed me, he said, 'Pretty soon your mother's name will be listed in the obituaries.' At the time I had no idea what an obituary was so I didn't say anything back. I wouldn't have anyway.
"He kept making dumb little comments like that. I didn't get it then but when I think about it now, it hurts. That weekend was the funeral. I cried through the service. My tears were stronger than the laughter I felt about the man in the dress. I didn't understand he was a priest and he was in a rock not a dress." I smiled a little at the memory but my smile faded quickly as I continued, "I remember seeing my mom's parents there and I begged them to take me with them. My dad had to force me away from them. We left right after that. I was still crying when we got home. He hit me to get me quiet but that didn't work. One of the servants took me away to calm me down. My dad ordered her out of the room. He told me things were going to change. 'You're going to start doing some work around here,' he'd told me. 'Make yourself more useful. The servants will give you something to do.' So I did."
"No of course not. It always happened if I didn't do something right, or if I said the wrong thing ... you know. Things like that. I guess I deserved it a majority of the time."
"Why do you say that?"
"Because it's true. Are we done now?"
"Well Rinoa I think it'd be best if we pressed on a little more," she said. "If you quit now it'll be harder to come back to it. We may not even discuss it again." That's the point, duh.
I sighed, "Okay. I'll talk a little more but that's it. A few of the servants didn't like me, or, at least they treated me like shit when my dad was around. I think they wanted to get on his good side or something, you know. They liked to play little pranks on me. My revenge on them backfired and they got me even worse. It was little things. Told me wrong things to give guests, tripped me a few times, broke a few things and blamed it on me. I suppose you wonder why that's so bad. Well it was during a meeting, in front of important guests. He was even more ashamed of me. Oh did I get a punishment that night. I had bruises on my face and arms. It was painful but not the worst."
"What was the worst?"
"No, I'm done. Maybe next time or maybe not at all."
"Alright. I wont push you. You've talked a lot today."
"Unfortunately," I said. "I feel exhausted. I really didn't do that much. Now I have to make the walk to the ..."
"What? Rinoa, what's wrong?" she asked.
"I just had a weird dream last night. If you walk me to the bridge. I'll tell you about it." She agreed and I stuck to my word. I also added that I had been thinking about what it'd be like to jump in front of a train and I had no idea what it was I needed to tell Squall.
"You probably do. Maybe it's something you need to think about it. You could've buried it within yourself."
"What does that mean?" she dismissed the question because we came to the bridge. She left me with the others. Selphie hugged me then Quistis hugged both of us. I didn't know what to think and I just let my arms hang loosely around Selphie's shoulders.
"I'm sorry about Seifer threatening you," Selphie whispered in my ear.
"It's okay. Don't worry about it," I told her. When they let go of me, I leaned against the rail. "What have you guys been up to?"
"Not much," Quistis said first. "Well, not me anyway. You know homeroom and all, helping Dr. Kadowaki at the infirmary. Just the same routine."
Selphie spoke next, "I've been worrying about you and making plans to kill Seifer."
"Same here," Zell said. "More training so I can help Selphie kick Seifer's ass next time I see him."
Irvine sighed, "Trying to keep them calm the first few days was quite a job. Selphie was ready to run right after him as soon as she heard."
"How do you guys know about that anyway?" I asked.
Squall cleared his throat, "Dr. Christenson and I told them so if they saw Seifer, and they could keep an eye on him. Just in case he came after you and I wasn't around for some reason, they'd be there."
"Oh, well thank you. You guys don't have to do that but I appreciate it." Squall put his hand on my shoulder. He's always doing things for me and I never do anything in return. But, what could I do for him? Rid him of me? That'd be a start. No more problematic Rinoa to pull him down. I let out a silent sigh, making sure no one heard it so they wouldn't ask me what's wrong. I listened to them converse with each other. I think Zell likes Quistis. Just the way they talk and look at each other makes me think there's something going on there. Selphie was holding onto Irvine's arm like if she let go, someone was going to die. Maybe it'd be me. Squall, I just noticed had his eyes fixed on me. He seemed to be studying me or something. I felt my face flush and I immediately lowered my gaze to the ground. When I saw the tracks, I got nervous so I stared at the house across the bridge. Quistis was asking me something.
"I- I'm sorry," I stuttered.
"I said, 'When are you going to come back to Garden?' I hope soon. Believe it or not, we all miss you," she told me. I felt like I was being lied to. Ever since I saw Seifer with that girl I've had trouble deciphering the truth from the lie.
"I don't know when. Maybe in a few days or something." She nodded and they tried to include me in on the conversation. I keep drifting off though. This all seemed surreal. Having a conversation with all of them about meaningless things. For a moment it seemed as if none of us had anything to worry about. I almost had a sense of comfort run through me. Everyone was smiling except Squall. I joined them to change that.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
That's it for chapter four. Trust me there will be more.
"That's fine," he answered shyly. It had been a few days since he'd smiled. I tried to think of something to say to bring it out.
"You know Squall, you can't get aids by sharing a bed."
It worked, he smiled. "Are you saying you have aids?"
"Nope. Just thought I'd tell you. See what you were worried about Actually; I just wanted to make you smile. I love your smile."
"You should've told me that before, maybe I'll do it more often." Never have I wanted to kiss a guy so bad. Okay, so I did want to kiss Seifer but that ended when our relationship got ugly. Now I just do it because that's what couples do. They're supposed to hug and kiss. That's just how it is. For some reason, talking to Squall reminded me of the first time we had a serious conversation. We connected through our loss of people important to us. I lost my mother and he lost his "sister". I say "sister" like that because the girl wasn't actually related to him, or at least, I don't think so. Well, we were sitting on the small balcony in the balcony in the back of the Training Center. Apparently that's the make out spot in Garden. Thankfully nobody was out there when we were. I'm not sure how the conversation started exactly. I think I asked Squall if he ever saw his parents.
"I've never seen my parents," he'd confessed quietly. "I grew up in an orphanage."
"Did you have any family?" I asked.
"Just sis. She disappeared one day though. Never saw her again."
"Do you know what happened to her?"
"No. No one does. Everybody was sad when she left. Then we all left the orphanage because Edea was taking us to Garden. Why did you come here?"
"To get away from my dad," I told him. "He's hated me since my mom died in a car accident when I was little. I miss her so much. We were close even though I was really young."
"I don't think sis is dead but I doubt I'll ever see her again." He shifted uncomfortably and added, "Sorry about your mom." There was more to the conversation but I can't remember the rest.
Now when we talk, we don't seem to say a lot but we don't have to. Squall's been a little sad lately, or that's how his "aurora" feels. If I ask him, he'll either lie or clam up on me. I'll take my chances. "Squall," I said quietly. "Why are you so sad? I mean, you seem so distant."
He said, "I- I don't think we should talk about that. I'm fine. How are you feeling?"
"Okay." Silence hung between us for a few minutes. This felt like hell. I don't know why. Maybe I'm thinking too much. Sometimes that can ruin my mood, even if I'm not thinking about anything upsetting. I need a distraction. A knife, sharp edge, something, anything. I have to stop thinking. This is driving me insane. When I finally stand up I head for the bathroom and shut the door. There has to be something in here. I started going through the medicine cabinet. Nothing but hotel soaps and shampoos. Maybe I can find a store that sells aspirin or something. I came back out of the bathroom and told Squall I was going for a walk. He volunteered to go with me. "No that's fine," I said. "I just want to go see if they have any, uh, feminine products anywhere. You know." He nodded and looked away, obviously embarrassed by the topic. I retreated outside without trying to seem eager.
The air was cool, the wind was blowing, and dark clouds were beginning to take over the sky. It was going to rain. Couldn't come at a better time too. For some reason, I felt like crying. Emotions are weird aren't they? Sometimes you feel something and have no idea why. At least, I get that way. I quickly made my way to a small side shop by the town's pub. When I asked the lady if she had any aspirin she said, "This ain't no drug store."
I felt my face flush as I said, "Well I just thought maybe-"
"Well you thought wrong, girlie. Why don't you go back home? I'm sure it's passed your bedtime." She gave me a smug grin.
"Yeah well maybe you should think about changing your business. You're right by the pub. You might be able to get a drunk guy to pay you for sex. Don't get your hopes up though." She growled. I went inside the pub and ordered a bottle of whiskey. The man asked me for some I.D. so I offered him an extra forty bucks. He agreed. After that, I sat by the train tracks. I broke the bottle against the curb and watched the liquid trickle down the edge, forming a pool of booze and glittering pieces of glass. I broke it again to make a piece I could use then slid the sharp edge against the skin concealed by my arm warmer. Warm blood immediately surfaced. Drops of water began to hit me gently on the head. As I let the pain sink in I stared at the dark pit that the tracks led to. What would it be like to jump in front of a train? Having the last thing you see be the bright lights of the front car? And what if has soon as you jump, you wish you could take it back and end up dying anyway? What would the last thought in your head be? How long would it hurt?
By time all these questions passed through my mind it was raining harder. I slipped my arm warmer back on, kicked the glass near the tracks and made the walk back getting soaked along the way. When I stepped into the room, Squall looked up. "It's raining," I told him.
He said, "I can see that. Rinoa, where were you?" He paused and took my arm. I tried to pull away but he had a firm grip on me. "You're bleeding. You cut yourself again didn't you?" I didn't answer. He slipped the arm warmer off and found something to bandage my cut. The worried look on his face saddened me. Why does he always have to bother himself with my problems? He'd probably be a lot happier if he'd just forget me. Sometimes I wanna scream in his face. Scream so much he'll want to be away from me. I don't want to ruin his life too.
"I'm not worth your time," I mumbled. He just looked at me, showing no sign of annoyance or thinking I was an idiot.
"Why do you say that?" I just shrugged. What did he want me to say? I don't know how to explain myself without making him mad. He sighed a little, apparently giving up, an asked, "Do you have any extra clothes to wear?" I shook my head. "Do you want me to find something for you?"
"No I can manage 'til tomorrow." In the bathroom I threw all my wet clothes in the bathtub with the exception of my shorts and tanktop. Then I climbed in bed next to Squall. My eyes sting because I'm tired but I don't want to go to sleep. Squall is still awake too. I wish I could touch his hair and rest my head on his chest. I shouldn't be thinking that kind of stuff. I have a boyfriend.
It took me a while to fall asleep and I had a weird dream. I was walking through Timber, making my way to the train tracks. It was cold and the sun was just starting to rise but there wasn't the blend of colors in the sky that usually shows up early in the morning. My goal was to throw myself in front of the train. When I arrived at the tracks, I saw the bright headlights coming down the tunnel. I sucked in a breath and got ready for the fall. When the timing was right, I jumped. The last thought in my head was, "I didn't get to tell Squall..." When the train hit me, I shot up in bed, screaming myself awake.
Squall jumped and asked me what was wrong. To tell the truth, there was nothing wrong. I wasn't upset and I wasn't scared. I'm not sure why I screamed, I just ... did. Squall sat up. "Rinoa, what's wrong?" he repeated. "Please tell me." I shook my head and told him it was nothing. He seemed disappointed. He probably thought I was keeping something from him, like I don't trust him. I do trust him, but ... what would his reaction be if I told him I had a dream I jumped in front of a train? I convinced him I was okay and he went back to sleep. I stayed awake the rest of the night.
Dr. Christenson came to see me the next day. She brought some clothes Squall had Selphie pick out. Selphie was about my size. I went in the bathroom and changed. A white jean skirt, a white short-sleeved vest, and a black tank top to go with it. When I came back, Dr. Christenson was sitting on a chair. Squall left earlier to go talk with the others. They were all hanging out on the bridge above the train tracks until my session with Dr. Christenson was over. After that they were coming to visit with me. I took a seat on the bed. I smiled. "So Dr. Christenson, what brings you here?"
"You know why I'm here, Rinoa," she said. "Let's talk a little."
"Okay. About what?"
"Let's start with your father, General Caraway. What happened after your mother died?"
After my mother died, huh? That could easily be summed up. "He hated me."
She sighed, "I thought you'd say that. Tell me when you saw the change."
"There wasn't really a change. It was just more noticeable, you know? Well, I remember the funeral wasn't until the weekend after she died. That week was hell. The day the news reached me about my mom, I cried in my room. One of the servants had to tell me because my dad left right after hearing it. I've always assumed he went to the hospital to see her but..." I shook my head. "With him you never know. Anyway, I cried the whole night. The next day when I woke up, my dad was back. I silently wished he would hug me but I already knew that he wasn't going to happen. I climbed up on a chair next to him. He was reading the paper. When he noticed me, he said, 'Pretty soon your mother's name will be listed in the obituaries.' At the time I had no idea what an obituary was so I didn't say anything back. I wouldn't have anyway.
"He kept making dumb little comments like that. I didn't get it then but when I think about it now, it hurts. That weekend was the funeral. I cried through the service. My tears were stronger than the laughter I felt about the man in the dress. I didn't understand he was a priest and he was in a rock not a dress." I smiled a little at the memory but my smile faded quickly as I continued, "I remember seeing my mom's parents there and I begged them to take me with them. My dad had to force me away from them. We left right after that. I was still crying when we got home. He hit me to get me quiet but that didn't work. One of the servants took me away to calm me down. My dad ordered her out of the room. He told me things were going to change. 'You're going to start doing some work around here,' he'd told me. 'Make yourself more useful. The servants will give you something to do.' So I did."
"No of course not. It always happened if I didn't do something right, or if I said the wrong thing ... you know. Things like that. I guess I deserved it a majority of the time."
"Why do you say that?"
"Because it's true. Are we done now?"
"Well Rinoa I think it'd be best if we pressed on a little more," she said. "If you quit now it'll be harder to come back to it. We may not even discuss it again." That's the point, duh.
I sighed, "Okay. I'll talk a little more but that's it. A few of the servants didn't like me, or, at least they treated me like shit when my dad was around. I think they wanted to get on his good side or something, you know. They liked to play little pranks on me. My revenge on them backfired and they got me even worse. It was little things. Told me wrong things to give guests, tripped me a few times, broke a few things and blamed it on me. I suppose you wonder why that's so bad. Well it was during a meeting, in front of important guests. He was even more ashamed of me. Oh did I get a punishment that night. I had bruises on my face and arms. It was painful but not the worst."
"What was the worst?"
"No, I'm done. Maybe next time or maybe not at all."
"Alright. I wont push you. You've talked a lot today."
"Unfortunately," I said. "I feel exhausted. I really didn't do that much. Now I have to make the walk to the ..."
"What? Rinoa, what's wrong?" she asked.
"I just had a weird dream last night. If you walk me to the bridge. I'll tell you about it." She agreed and I stuck to my word. I also added that I had been thinking about what it'd be like to jump in front of a train and I had no idea what it was I needed to tell Squall.
"You probably do. Maybe it's something you need to think about it. You could've buried it within yourself."
"What does that mean?" she dismissed the question because we came to the bridge. She left me with the others. Selphie hugged me then Quistis hugged both of us. I didn't know what to think and I just let my arms hang loosely around Selphie's shoulders.
"I'm sorry about Seifer threatening you," Selphie whispered in my ear.
"It's okay. Don't worry about it," I told her. When they let go of me, I leaned against the rail. "What have you guys been up to?"
"Not much," Quistis said first. "Well, not me anyway. You know homeroom and all, helping Dr. Kadowaki at the infirmary. Just the same routine."
Selphie spoke next, "I've been worrying about you and making plans to kill Seifer."
"Same here," Zell said. "More training so I can help Selphie kick Seifer's ass next time I see him."
Irvine sighed, "Trying to keep them calm the first few days was quite a job. Selphie was ready to run right after him as soon as she heard."
"How do you guys know about that anyway?" I asked.
Squall cleared his throat, "Dr. Christenson and I told them so if they saw Seifer, and they could keep an eye on him. Just in case he came after you and I wasn't around for some reason, they'd be there."
"Oh, well thank you. You guys don't have to do that but I appreciate it." Squall put his hand on my shoulder. He's always doing things for me and I never do anything in return. But, what could I do for him? Rid him of me? That'd be a start. No more problematic Rinoa to pull him down. I let out a silent sigh, making sure no one heard it so they wouldn't ask me what's wrong. I listened to them converse with each other. I think Zell likes Quistis. Just the way they talk and look at each other makes me think there's something going on there. Selphie was holding onto Irvine's arm like if she let go, someone was going to die. Maybe it'd be me. Squall, I just noticed had his eyes fixed on me. He seemed to be studying me or something. I felt my face flush and I immediately lowered my gaze to the ground. When I saw the tracks, I got nervous so I stared at the house across the bridge. Quistis was asking me something.
"I- I'm sorry," I stuttered.
"I said, 'When are you going to come back to Garden?' I hope soon. Believe it or not, we all miss you," she told me. I felt like I was being lied to. Ever since I saw Seifer with that girl I've had trouble deciphering the truth from the lie.
"I don't know when. Maybe in a few days or something." She nodded and they tried to include me in on the conversation. I keep drifting off though. This all seemed surreal. Having a conversation with all of them about meaningless things. For a moment it seemed as if none of us had anything to worry about. I almost had a sense of comfort run through me. Everyone was smiling except Squall. I joined them to change that.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
That's it for chapter four. Trust me there will be more.