Disclaimer: I don't own anyone or anything from Joan of Arcadia. Just me having fun and passing the time.
Summary: Two jobs, summer vacation and a new boyfriend… How can one girl cope?
Author's Note: Adam and Joan have to say goodbye, but will it be for good? Please Read and Review. You know I love it.
Sitting around at the dinner table that night, Joan was aware of the stifling tension that hung in the air like a black cloud. For some reason unknown to her, her parents were going through a 'disagreement' as they would call it. Joan could never figure out why they just didn't admit to themselves and each other that they were fighting, but if that's how they avoided the issue, then so be it. Normally she would be playing twenty questions to find out the dirt and then try to fix it, but tonight she just wasn't in the mood to deal with someone else's problem. She had a big enough one herself – Adam and Iris. She sighed quietly to herself, swirling her fork around in her lumpy mashed potatoes while staring down at it with distaste. Potatoes shouldn't be lumpy, but then again, it went well with the rest of her day.
Her two brothers were lost in their own struggles, ones that she didn't pay enough attention to. Probably girl troubles, that's usually what most of their problems were anyways – trying to get the girl, trying to keep the girl, then trying to get rid of the girl. A big loop. She refused to lump herself in that same category, believing that what she and Adam had transcended anything her brothers could hope of attaining in their lives.
She nearly wept with joy when her young brother mumbled his excuses and got up to leave the room. She quickly followed suit, but rather than head upstairs to mope in her bedroom like Luke, and more than likely Kevin, she took a different path that led her back to the very spot she had occupied just that morning. Instead of sitting on the swing, she stood at the base of the tree gazing up to the leaves above her, seeing nothing in the falling darkness. Adam was due any moment, and she had no idea how she felt. She wasn't upset with Adam, but in a way she was. For being him, he would go into this whole trip with the understanding that he and Iris were friends, that she was okay with Joan and Adam being together… But in reality, Joan had a feeling that Iris was waiting on the sidelines for Joan to mess up, and then she could step in to console him.
Joan clenched her hands into fists and silently challenged the tiny brunette with a baby voice to try and take him away from her. Realizing how juvenile she seemed, she relaxed her stance, her shoulders drooping under the strain. She turned to head towards her house when she saw a shadow shift off to the right. Opening her mouth to scream, she blinked in surprise to see Adam emerge from the bushes and around the corner of the house towards the backdoor. She cleared her throat, her mouth having gone dry, before calling out to him. His hand paused in the air, poised in the act of knocking when he heard her voice. He turned to look at her, watching as she walked over to meet him at the bottom step.
"Hey, Jane."
"Hey."
Suddenly nervous around each other for different reasons, they stood staring at the other as the awkward silence stretched out before them. Joan was the first to break the quiet. "Congratulations on the trip…"
"Uh… thanks. I guess your mom told you?"
"I overheard her talking to Iris about it. She um… she told me that you are all going to the city for a month.. to show off your art?"
"Yeah…" He grew a little pensive at the mention of Iris, detecting the slight note of apprehension and jealousy in Joan's voice when she mentioned the other girl's name. When Adam had talked to Helen that morning, he never once thought that Iris would be invited along. He was more wrapped up in figuring which pieces he wanted to take… and how to explain to Joan about him accepting without talking to her. "Listen… I probably should have talked to you first-"
"Why? You don't have to ask my permission…"
"Cha, it concerns both of us, Jane. I know we had plans to hang out this summer, and they aren't over… they're just delayed-"
"I-I got another job – weekends at the Nursing Home. It was sort of, you know, spur of the moment thing. I wasn't expecting to get accepted as quick as I did."
"So, we're not going to see each other at all this summer?" Adam frowned at the sound of that, but knowing that he couldn't place all the blame on her and her busy schedule. He had a hand in causing this problem by accepting the offer. He looked down into Joan's eyes, and he saw his own emotions reflected back – disappointment, frustration, anger, and a bit of fear. He reached up to lay his hands on either side of her face, his thumbs sliding along the smooth flesh to wipe away the stray tears that escaped her eyes. "Jane… You… you don't think that something will happen between Iris and I, do you? Don't you trust me?"
Joan closed her eyes briefly at his question, the very question that had been plaguing her since she had first found out about their month long sojourn to the city. She raised her arms to slide around his waist, stepping closer into his embrace. Before their lips met, she whispered softly, "I trust you, Adam…" He kissed her softly, hugging her tightly to him as if this was their final goodbye. She held onto him, as the thought flittered through her mind. 'I just don't trust Iris, and your judgment when it comes to her.' She pushed back the twinge of guilt for that betraying thought, but she couldn't change how she felt. Iris could manipulate Adam without him even knowing or realizing until it was too late. She could only hope that God for once would be on her side in this and keep Adam safe. She felt a warm, gentle breeze stir about the backyard, caressing the curve of her throat and along her face, and she felt as if God was answering her prayers.
The days passed in a blur and before Joan knew it, she was standing at the airport saying goodbye to her mom and boyfriend. She stood apart from the group of people – the lucky students, their parents and a few friends – staring at Adam and Helen as they were loading their luggage onto the cart before joining the crowd.
"Ugh… All these people and their hugging. It's like watching a Lifetime movie for chicks, and me without my Rolaids."
"You take Rolaids?" Luke looked over at Grace and arched his brow in inquiry. She rolled her eyes, giving a can-you-believe-this look to Joan before replying. "No, Nerdboy. But if you keep your PDA with the human helium tank, I might need something stronger."
"What Glynis and I have isn't-"
"Save it. I'm not interested in how field mice mate. Here's Rove. Hey man, some words of advice… Don't go walking late at night, don't drink the water, and if you get shot at, use Squeaker as a human shield."
"I'll miss you, too, Grace." Adam nodded at Grace, not expecting anything more mushy and sentimental from his longtime friend. He turned to face Joan and he had to swallow past the lump in his throat before he could say anything. All he could get out was a soft, "Jane…"
"Hey… It's only a month, right? And just think of the experience that'll you get?"
"You're okay with this, Jane?"
"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?" She waves her hand nonchalantly, but deep down she's anything but. Her stomach felt like it was tied into a knot, and she could feel a raging headache waiting to take hold, but for his sake she pasted a smile on her face and hoped that it was believable. When it didn't take the frown off of his face, she knew she had failed, but she wouldn't give in. It was something he wanted, no he needed to do, and she wouldn't let her worries and insecurities get in the way. She gave him a tight hug and a quick kiss before stepping back to say goodbye to her mom. She kept her eyes fastened to a point over Helen's shoulder, knowing if she had to stare into her mom's sympathetic eyes, she'd cave. She gave her the standard hug and a promise to behave, and then the students were off. She waved to two of the special people in her life, along with her young brother Luke. Grace stood on her other side with her arms crossed just glaring at the departing backs. Inside she was a little sad to see Adam leave, realizing that her summer was going to hell with just the two Girardis as company.
She looked over at Joan and had to respect the fact that the girl had the strength to stand there with that phoney smile on her face without attacking the leech that followed close behind Adam. Grace didn't miss the look that crossed over Iris' face as she turned to look at the trio left behind – with triumph, anticipation, victory? Whatever the look, it made Grace take a step forward with her hands clenched into fists. The only thing that stopped her was the fact of the two ticket ladies shutting the door behind the last flyer and locked it so that no one could sneak onto the plane at the last moment. She looked back over at her friend and did something no one would expect Grace to do. She reached up and laid a hand on the girl's trembling shoulder and squeezed it awkwardly in comfort. Then a split second later, she dropped her hand and stalked out of the airport terminal before Luke could stop her with some inane science comment. He wasn't going to ruin her summer plans of avoiding him at all costs. It would be the only thing to save her from… herself.
Joan looked down at the hand that rested on her shoulder for a brief moment before it and the person it was attached to disappeared before Joan could say a word. Maybe it was better this way, as the façade of happiness crumbled and the tears she could no longer hold onto escaped to fall unheeded down her cheeks. She felt the tentative male arm drape over her shoulders and pull her towards the curve of his side, giving her some mutual understanding and comfort. She snuggled into Luke's embrace, pushing all thoughts of the world around her as she gave into her tumultuous emotions.
When she finally composed herself and pulled back with a mumbled thanks, she looked up at her brother who she thought with surprise had shot up a few inches in the past couple of months. She hadn't even noticed the changes of the people around her, completely absorbed in her own life and her relationship with Adam and God. She saw hidden in his own eyes a kindred pain of someone dealing with the uncertainty. She knew all of his problems centered around one female… one strong, forceful, difficult female named Grace.
"You should talk to her."
"I've tried talking to her. I've tried talking, begging, pleading, whatever you can think of I've tried. Nothing works."
"Maybe you're going about it wrong. This is Grace. Take all that you know and have learned about Grace and use it to your advantage."
"You make it sound so simple."
"It is, because you're thinking it's complicated. Grace may be complicated, but the situation isn't. Shock her, surprise her, blow her out of the waters. You've got to take her off her guard so that she'll be open and her true self."
Luke looked down at his sister, arching a brow at her suggestion. It might work, if he could figure out what would shock Grace enough to drop her guard. He gave his sister a big smile before suggesting they go home, his mind sifting through possibilities as he let his scientific brain take hold.