CC: Okay. Hiei smells like roast beef because I just associate it with him. Naturally, I associate Hiei with fire, and I associate fire with roast beef due to a complicated story involving lizards and my neighbor's house... I'd rather not explain more than that. Thanks for all your reviews! Hope you like the new chapter.
Disclaimer: I still own nothing. Sigh. But look! A shiny new penny! Gasp! ^^
The Caffeine Experiments
Naraku eyed the yellow bag that had been left behind by Kagome when she had last vanished down that well of hers. It had all sort of miraculous things in it, like the mysterious "Ramen" substance that was that damn half-demon's only weakness. He knew that if he got his hands on it, he would indeed be the most powerful creature in existence. He also knew that Inuyasha would most certainly give up his jewel shards in exchange for his precious "Ramen."
With this sinister knowledge, Naraku seized up Kagome's oversized backpack, and staggering at its weight, he ran off at a lopsided sort of gait, trying to balance the weight on his back while "Kukuku"-ing all the way. I just adore evil plots like this. They make things so much more interesting, he thought. Unfortunately for him, he didn't see the Naraku's Bane, conveniently labeled "instant coffee," hanging out of the bag.
*~*~*
Kagome just ran. She couldn't do anything else; she had seen how inhumanely fast the fellow was. All she could do was hope that he had given her enough of a head start that she could escape this experience with her life. Somehow, though, she doubted it. Geez. What's his problem? It was just a hug!
As soon as his friends had left her and Hiei alone, saying that he might want some private time with his dearest girlfriend, the diminutive fellow had informed her that he would count to one-hundred slowly before coming after her to kill her in the most unpleasant way possible. She had no doubt that death was exactly what awaited her when he caught her, too. The way he had said it made it sound like he was completely and utterly serious. Dead serious. Pardon the pun...
She didn't know why, but she was running home. That would be the first place he would be looking for her, and yet she was heading straight there. Wait, she realized. I know a place where he can't follow! Kagome had never looked at the well as an escape from trouble on her side, but hadn't she run down it plenty of times to escape to her own time from nasties who were after the jewel shards?
With an evil cackle, she reached the top of the stairs, coming to a complete stop when she saw who was waiting for her, arms crossed over his chest. His normally adorable face was as still as a stone, cold and furious. I am in such big trouble...
"Hn. What took you so long?" he jeered.
Kagome took a step back, unaware of three pairs of eyes watching her and Hiei's every move. Though she didn't hear it, one said, "I was correct! He does like her!"
"Wait. Going homicidal on her for a hug is 'liking'?" another voice wondered.
"I'm confused," a third added.
Ignoring the third person, the first person said, "You don't know Hiei like I do, Yusuke."
"I'm still confused," the third voice repeated.
Meanwhile, Kagome clutched the jewel shards she carried, gauging the distance between her and the well. Hiei stood between her and her safety, but she was certain that she could make it if she really ran. The style's called 'Run Like Hell,' Kagome thought, and I am its master.
She had done this often enough. She could even outrun Inuyasha, when it came down to that. It was her greatest ability, and she had been practicing it since her first visit to the Feudal Era. "I can defend myself, ya know," she warned Hiei, drawing back into a fighting stance. Sango had taught her a few simple moves with which to defend herself, enough that Kagome could make it look as though she knew what she was doing.
He just smiled and moved into a similar stance, beckoning her to attack. He was prepared for anything... except what she did next. Kagome came at him full speed, moving from a fighting stance to a running one in mere seconds. His only reaction was to dodge, sending her off into the old well-house situated behind him at full speed. Coward, he snarled inwardly. I wasn't going to harm her before... much... but now...
He leapt after her, landing at the entrance to the well house, where she was in the process of jumping into the well. Did she intend to hide? He easily reached forward and caught her shirt, but he misjudged her weight and lost his balance, flying into the darkness still holding onto her. The well is deeper than it appeared at first... he thought, and then something amazing happened...
*~*~*
Naraku scoured the backpack belonging to Kagome, but found nothing labeled "Ramen." Clearly, that hanyou had stashed all of the precious substance in some special spot should Naraku attempt something like what he now did. Silently, Naraku cursed the person who had given that mutt the idea to hide his mysterious Ramen, for the dog couldn't have conceived the idea on his own. He had most likely needed help for that ingenious idea that so easily foiled Naraku's complex-ly evil plot.
Suddenly, Naraku's eyes fell on a strange package laying on the ground amid piles of clean underwear and miniature kimonos like the one Kagome wore. It was labeled "instant coffee," whatever that was. He picked the strange package up, testing its weight. It felt light as a feather, yet its mass suggested that it should weigh more. This strange "instant coffee" must have little or no density of its own. Naraku saw something written on it: "contains caffeine." Wait. He had heard of this substance in the past...
Naraku was watching Kagome and her companions like he usually did, being the freakish stalker that he was. Normally, he didn't watch them so intently, but Kagura had just suffered yet another crushing defeat at their hands, thanks in part to Kagome's purifying arrow. What he wished to know was how she managed to be so alert early in the mornings when he himself, powerful as he was, was always at his weakest after just awakening. Sure, he wasn't a morning person, but in general, he knew that she wasn't either. Kagome had as much trouble some days waking up as he himself did, yet on others, she was like this.
Then enlightenment came in the form of Kagome's voice, making a comment to her friends. "Another victory thanks to caffeine! I don't know what I would do without it..."
Immediately, Naraku had wished for some of this caffeine. If it could make Kagome as powerful as she was, imagine what it could do to him! He wouldn't need the Shikon Jewel if he had caffeine! The only problem was that he didn't know how to get his hands on it.
Quickly he made a wise decision to keep an eye out for the substance...
For weeks now he had been hoping to get his hands on the stuff, and now here it was, the source of Kagome's power! With a quick, "Kukuku!" Naraku began reading the instructions for eating the coffee on the back of the package. Soon he learned that all he had to do was mix it with hot water. One part coffee to four parts water. Quickly he had a simmering vat of the stuff, smelling delicious in an addictive way. That is the smell of power!
Naraku looked at the instructions on the side of the bag and immediately saw that the serving size was one cup, whatever that was. With a shrug, he downed the whole thing. For a moment, he stood there stunned, his eyes closed as his body ingested the liquid power. "Wowowowow! Icanfeelthepoweralready!" he cried, opening his eyes, which were now veined with brown coffee... "NowthatIminvincibleIdontneedtheJewelanymorebuttheyllbecomingforitthenIcangetthem!!!" Kagura watched her master from around a corner, wondering exactly what he was saying.
*~*~*
Inuyasha rubbed his sore back, which still ached from the last time Kagome had visited him a few days ago. Struggling to his feet, he headed outside, suddenly catching a very familiar scent on the wind. She was back! With an evil grin that suggested revenge, he headed off towards the well, not even noticing the other scent that the wind carried, that of a demon.
*~*~*
"Get off me, you..." Kagome threatened. She wasn't quite sure who was on top of her, only that someone was, and it was bugging her to death. She was laying flat out on her stomach, with the other person similarly situated on top of her, effectively pushing her down into the mud that was at the bottom of the well.
"And what if I don't want to?" a male's voice drawled, presumably that of the person laid across her back. Kagome knew that voice. Hiei.
Kagome rolled over, managing to knock him off her into the mud. Now they both looked like some sort of marsh demons, Hiei more so because his eyes appeared red in the light. She also noticed coolly that the bandanna he always wore around his forehead was gone, revealing a third eye. Probably a tattoo, she decided.
"Oi, wench! It is you," a most unwelcome spectator announced. He was looking into the well, dangled precariously over the edge in such a way that...
"Sit, Inuyasha!" Kagome yelled, effectively bringing the half-demon down to her level with a satisfying splat. He landed on top of Hiei, killing two birds with one stone. Kagome made her way out of the well quickly, heading straight back to the village. She hoped that Inuyasha hadn't hurt Hiei too much by falling on him, but it was a necessary evil. She ran to the village, hoping that the two of them hadn't recovered yet. Inside Kaede's hut was safety. The elderly woman had declared this when she had realized that otherwise no one would ever stop arguing long enough for her to speak with them seriously.
She made it, where she saw Sango and Miroku sitting at opposite sides of the room, Miroku rubbing a lump on his head while Sango menacingly polished her boomerang. Kaede was seated next to Miroku, speaking with the monk. She was saying something about keeping his hands to himself. He just grinned and shrugged, receiving a glare from Kaede.
"Hello," Kagome said, causing all their eyes to be focused on her. They were all staring. No, not at me, she realized. At the black-clad hand perched on my shoulder.
"I still owe you for that hug," Hiei informed her coldly. His headband was back in its proper position, covering that disturbing tattoo.
"Hug? And you say I'm cheating on you with Kikyou?!" Inuyasha screeched. It looked as though both of them had followed her from the well.
"Um... Kaede's hut is a safe zone?" She suggested. Hiei's hand tightened on her shoulder, but he said nothing more. Inuyasha bit the small fellow's hand, probably his way of saying, "Get your hands off her!" Suddenly, Hiei pushed Kagome away from him, sending Inuyasha his Glare of Death, which she was quite familiar with. However, this time it seemed much more dangerous. Even Kagome could see the unspoken threat behind it.
Kaede was the one that broke the tension. "Who's your friend, Kagome?"
"His name is Hiei," Kagome began, but was interrupted by said person.
"And he can speak for himself," Hiei said. Inuyasha moved closer to Kagome, wrapping his arms around her protectively. Hiei notice this, and continued. "He would also like to inform the hanyou that if he doesn't remove his hands from Kagome, he will have them removed."
Kagome watched as their gazes met, locked together, and then to her surprise, Inuyasha turned away, overwhelmed by the intensity of the smaller boy's glower. He released her slowly, backing away.
"Kagome... where are we?" Hiei now asked, his voice deadly calm.
"The Feudal Era of Japan," she explained. "We fell through the well. Probably the fact that you were holding onto me as I fell caused you to join me here."
"Hn. And you are able to travel through time because...?
"Well, you know how you and your friends are searching for the Shikon Jewel?" She paused, waiting for him to nod his head. "Well, you see, I'm its guardian... except I sort of... shattered it." Kagome held up her Jewel fragments so that he could see. "Right now, we're collecting the shards of it to restore the whole Jewel. Only there's a very powerful baddie named Naraku who's after them. It would be in your best interests if I just gave you one of these so you could go home."
Hiei scowled at her for a moment before opening his mouth to speak, but before he could do so, there was a knock at the door of Kaede's hut, and without waiting for anyone to answer, Kagura the wind demon entered.
"Hello," she said, ignoring open-mouthed stares.
Inuyasha drew Tetsusaiga, but before he could attack, Kaede shrieked, "Safe hut! Remember what happened last time there was a fight in here? I don't intend to rebuild my home again!" She stood between Inuyasha and Kagura, though the half-demon wasn't affected in the least. He lunged at the wind demon and would have hit her, too, had he not crashed into the ground when Kagome told him to "sit."
"What do you want, Kagura?" Kagome asked, wary of the red-eyed woman.
"I extend to you and a friend Naraku's most humble invitation," Kagura explained.
"Invitation to...?"
"My master wishes for you to come to the castle for a friendly game of cards."
"Cards?" Kagome exclaimed.
"Indeed. I fear my master may be... an arrow short of a full quiver, if you know what I mean," the demon sighed.
"We shouldn't go," Sango said, fingering her boomerang. "Knowing Naraku, it's probably some intricate plot."
"Who said you were invited?" Kagura taunted. "I am only to deliver the invitation to Lady Kagome."
"I don't see how you can make a trap using a card game..." Kagome murmured.
Hiei said nothing. He was just watching them like they were all mad. As a matter of fact, they all probably were.
"It is no trap," Kagura assured her. "Naraku wishes to gamble for the remaining Jewel Shards, as you are the only party aside from he himself who still possess them. He feels that a fight would be pointless."
"Jewel Shard poker..." Kagome mused. "How... odd of him."
"Actually, if you wish to be technical, it is more of a Jewel Shard version of 'Go Fish,'" Kagura informed Kagome.
"Oh."
"Three O'clock sharp. You know the place. Naraku will be expecting you to bring Lemon Squares." Kagura turned to leave. "Oh, yes. Bring a friend. The more the merrier. Naraku says that you may not bring Inuyasha, Sango, Miroku, the kit, Lady Kaede, Kilala, or that wolf, Kouga, but any other friend is fine."
With those words, she was gone, leaving Kagome alone with her friends.
"Don't go, Lady Kagome. I fear a trap," Miroku warned her. Even though his gaze was locked onto her own, Kagome could see that he was inching his way towards Sango, bit by bit, so slowly that she hadn't even noticed.
"Indeed. It is without a doubt a trap to steal the Jewel shards." Now Sango had noticed the monk's proximity and neatly bopped his hand, which was a bit too close to her derriere for comfort.
"Gambling for Jewel shards... this quest could be over in a matter of hours!" Kagome cried joyfully.
"If you ask me," Inuyasha drawled, "you shouldn't go. You can't take any of us. Who does that leave? Sessoumaru? If he didn't kill you, he would be more trouble than he's worth. He doesn't even know how to play cards!"
"Inuyasha, ye has a point," Kaede stated. "However, perhaps we should contact your brother."
"It doesn't make any difference how skilled the card player is. I'll bet Naraku will have an incarnation playing with him. One able to see your hand," Sango said, bringing up a valid point. "Naraku isn't about to play fair."
"Hn. Then neither should you," Hiei suddenly piped in. Everyone looked at him suspiciously.
"What do you mean?" Kagome wondered. "It's not like one of us can prevent him from seeing what's in our hands. Or even return the favor! And even if one of my friends could, they can't come."
"This... Naraku fellow left one of your... friends... out of his plans," Hiei told her. The way he said friend, it sounded like he didn't like the idea of being associated with Kagome.
"Hiei, if you're talking about yourself, you can't come... do you realize how powerful Naraku is?" Kagome asked.
Instead of answering her, Hiei turned to Sango. "You're a demon exterminator, correct?"
"Hai."
"I thought so. You wear their uniform."
"How is this significant to the matter at hand?" Miroku questioned.
"Have you heard of the Jagan Eye?"
Sango froze. "Back away from him very slowly, Kagome."
"What does that mean?" Kagome said.
"It means that he's a demon, and a very dangerous one at that." Sango had gotten to her feet and now clutched her boomerang.
"Does it also mean that he can help us?"
Reluctantly, Sango answered. "...hai." She was so focused on glaring at Hiei that she didn't even notice as Miroku's hand gave her rear a good, firm squeeze.
"Come on, Hiei, lets go. Do you know how to play cards?"