The good news is that the thug who tried to kidnap me bird ends up with his head on a pike. The bad news is, yers truly is beaten and strung up in chains in a dungeon. It really don't seem fair. I hang there by me wrists for a while – which if ye've never experienced it, I can tell ye, is not that pleasant - until me poor back stops smartin' quite so bad and I can think clearly again. I get the idea that scrawny as I am, I can slip me wrists out of the chains. Just as long as I don't mind losin' some skin. What I'll do about the locked door and the guards, I don't know. One thing at a time, Jack, I tells meself.

While I'm slowly slidin' the manacle off over me right hand, and not havin' a very easy time of it, who do ye think shows up but Mister Phillips. Of all me mates from the Bristol Maid, he's the last one I want to see. He stands there with one of the guards, glarin' at me. I can't imagine why. None of this is my fault.

"Jackie. Oh, Jackie," he says, shakin' his head.

"Mister Phillips," I says. There don't seem to be much else to say to him.

"I told ye to stay out of trouble. What are ye up to now ?" he asks.

I don't answer, seein' as on the one hand, it's obvious. Any fool can see that I'm just hangin' around. And on the other hand, which I'm tryin' to get the manacle off of - well, it don't seem wise to say so in front of the guard, just in case he might understand English, savvy ?

Phillips leans against the bars of me cell. "Ye've run afoul of one of the Sultans, Jackie," he informs me. "Molestin' his daughter. I don't know if I'll be able to get ye out of this."

It really wasn't fair. "I was savin' her from bein' kidnapped," I point out. "And drownin'. It's not me fault that she had a busy mornin'."

"Keep yer spirits up, boy," he says to me, "I may be able to bribe someone..." I can tell he's tryin' to think of a plan, and I start not to hate him quite so much.

"Where's the Cap'n ?" I ask. Phillips just laughs, no longer glarin', actin' just as though he don't care. And then he goes away and leaves me there. I hate him.

After a long time I manage to get me right hand free, at the cost of a lot of skin and a little blood. And there's still the locked cell door. I decide to rest for a while. Me poor back hurts - the guards had beaten me worse than Mister Phillips ever had. I wonder if he's makin' any progress. Just then, the same guard comes back, along with the tallest, fattest man I have ever seen. The guard unlocks the door and proceeds to unchain me left hand. His eyebrows go up when he sees me right hand is already free, but he don't say nothin', just unlocks the empty manacle.

Then he shoves me toward the huge man, who grabs me by the scruff of the neck and hauls me out of the gaol. I'm glad to be out of that cell, but I'm gettin' tired of just anyone grabbin' hold of me neck whenever they feel like it. This latest fellow drags me along for a while without comment. "So where are we goin' ?" I ask him finally. To me surprise, the giant answers in English. His voice is strange - soft, sort of high-pitched, and his accent is thick, but I can understand most of what he says.

"You saved the life of the Sultan Ibrahim's daughter," he replies. "The Princess Saleha wishes to thank you." He don't seem too happy about it.

So me little bird is a princess. It don't surprise me, really. It's nice to finally know her name. Saleha. The huge man keeps on draggin' me along by the scruff of the neck. I'm really gettin' tired of it. I tries to wriggle away from him, but he just cuffs me with his other hand. Then I try to make conversation with him, but I don't get any more out of him but his name, Azizi. We follow the same route Phillips had led me the night before, but turn down a different alley. Azizi drags me through a little courtyard and up a flight of stairs into a large room with curtains and rugs and pillows on the floor and a balcony. I can't tell for certain but I suspect it's the same room where I had first caught sight of Saleha.

There's a whole gaggle of people here too. After a confused moment or two I realize somthin' interestin'. They're all female. They're gigglin' and twitterin' along, makin' no sense to me. Azizi pushes me down on me knees on a rug. And then, there's Saleha, kneelin' right in front of me. She takes me hands in hers and says somethin' to me. I knew without the big fat man tellin' me, that she's thankin' me for savin' her life. "No trouble at all, Saleha me love," I tells her.

The old ratty veil is gone, of course, and she's wearin' some sort of shiny silk clothes and loads of jewelry. Saleha could be wearin' old sail cloth for all I care – she's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. She's smilin' at me, but then she looks down at me hurt wrist and frowns. She snaps some orders and some of the crowd of women leave off their jabberin' and rush around, doin' me girl's biddin'. But then one of them, an old wrinkled hag, comes right up and takes me little bird away, pullin' her by the hand. Saleha looks back at me, sad, I think, but resigned. She lets the old crone lead her out of the room.

I don't like seein' her go, and me prospects look even worse when three or four young girls start bringin' in buckets of hot water and fillin' a bath tub. Then a fat woman comes over and starts man-handlin' me, tryin' to take off me shirt. Now I admit me shirt is pretty much ruined. It wasn't much to begin with, and after bein' whipped back at the gaol, it's just about hangin' off me in tatters. But I still don't like the way things are goin', so I squirm away from the pudgy strumpet.

But no luck. Azizi, lookin' pleased for the first time since I've met him, gets a good grip on the scruff of me neck, and before I know it, Fatty has gotten me out of not only me shirt but me britches too. In front of all those women, who laugh and carry on as if they'd never seen a man before. And even though they took me caged bird away, they let the rest of the girls stay and watch. It really isn't fair.

Azizi throws me into the tub and the whole crowd of strumpets descend like a flock of harpies. I fight like a madman but it don't do me no good. Gigglin' and yammerin', they commence to washin' with great vigor until I'm sure most of me skin has been scrubbed right off. Then they start in on me hair, and yank and pull until it wouldn't have surprised me if I'd come out of that tub as bald as me old Cap'n. I'm half drowned by the time they're done. And Azizi just stands there and laughs. I'm really beginnin' to dislike him.

Finally those she-devils ease up a bit with the scrubbin' and let me get out of the tub. One of 'em brings some kind of salve for the welts on me back, which feels cool and soothin', and one one of 'em wraps a bandage around me wrist. Finally they bring me some red silky trousers and a kind of short blouse. I'm more than happy to cover up by now – the way they all kept lookin' and gigglin' was really disconcertin' – but I can't help but notice they'd brought me girl's clothes. At least the women of Singapore wear baggy trousers and not skirts. "Where's me own clothes ?" I ask Azizi.

"They were disgusting," he says, all haughty-like, "and besides, this is the Sultan's hareem. The women's quarters," he adds, seein' as I don't savvy. "There are no men allowed here."

"But yer a man," I points out.

He kind of grimaces at me. "I am here to guard the women of the Sultan's household," he says coldly.

I grin at him. "Ain't that like the fox guardin' the hen house ?" I ask. "Ye are a man, after all."

Azizi goes a bit red in the face. "I am a eunuch," he replies.

"Eh ? Wot's a eunch ?" I ask, but just then the fat wench comes up with a tray of cosmetics. She sits me down on me knees and proceeds to put rouge on me face, accompanied by plenty of chatterin' from the other women, all givin' her advice on how best to make me up like a girl, apparently. I'm not happy about it, but I don't raise too much of a fuss. Because if I'm disguised as a girl, I get to stay here with Saleha, savvy ?

Just then the old crone comes back with me lovely princess, and she sits right down beside me. I'm so glad to see her, even though it is a bit embarrasin', her havin' returned just as I'm havin' me face powdered, apparently to hide me few whiskers. I'd like to hold me pretty bird's hand, but now Fatty is puttin' some black powder around me eyes, usin' a little pointy stick. I keep still as a stone until she's done, not wantin' to give her any excuse to poke me eye out. Then Saleha holds up a looking-glass for me to see the effect. I could do without the rouge and the powder, but I do like the black around me eyes very much.

Now the other wenches' jabberin' has reached a serious pitch and one of 'em brings out a pair of scissors and brandishes 'em at me head. "Oh, no, not me hair," I tells 'em. I won't stand for it. Cap'n's always tryin' to get me to cut off me hair. It's not me fault that it tangles and knots up and won't stay in a proper queue. I waves me hands at the harpy with the scissors, tryin' to shoo her away. "Ye ain't cuttin' off me hair !"

Me little princess comes to me rescue. She issues orders and everyone scurries again. Then Saleha kneels in front of me and smooths me hair back from me face with her hands. A shiver runs down me spine. We're lookin' into each other's eyes, practically nose to nose. She smells like flowers. Come to think of it, so do I. She doesn't seem to mind.

The women bring out combs and brushes and boxes of jewelry and then step back to let her try her hand at fixin' me up. I'm just as happy as can be, kneelin' here with me pretty bird, watchin' her lips move and the expressions crossin' her face as she talks to me. Azizi keeps interruptin', tryin' to translate into English for me, but I finally tells him to stow it. I don't need him to tell me what me own girl is sayin' – I understand her meanin', if not her words. I think Saleha feels the same way – she appears to understand me too. And besides, I just want to listen to the sound of her voice.

Saleha braids some of me hair and threads beads into it – silver trinkets and colored ones that might be jade, or maybe coral. The old hag stops her when she tries to put gold beads on me head. I get the idea that even though me girl is the princess, this old lady rules the roost here. When she's not lookin', I takes Saleha's hand. I place a kiss in her palm. She blushes and smiles at me and I just smile back at her without a care in the world. Through the doorway out to the balcony, I can see the sun is settin' and I wonder if the Bristol Maid is puttin' out to sea. I don't think me Cap'n would leave me behind. But I don't even care.

Finally Saleha covers the bandage on me wrist with a heavy silver bracelet and ties a red silk scarf around me head and me disguise is complete. Or nearly complete. After all that work, the fat one brings out a big veil and they muffle me from head to toes. Ye'd never know if it were Jack Sparrow under there or Queen Jezebel herself.