Disclaimer: I had twenty dollars. Now I have a battery for my camcorder. *waves good-bye to her twenty* I still don't own YYH or IY, and I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, either.
Lemon: The Ultimate Comfort Food
Nervously, Kagome entered Naraku's courtyard, her only solace the petite demon behind her. Well, him and the lemon squares. She loved lemon, especially when it was in regular geometric shapes, such as triangles or squares. Lemon was almost as good as chocolate...
"Hn," Hiei coughed, bringing her back to reality.
"We're here," she whispered. She had been here too many times *not* to be uncomfortable; this was the place where an entire pack of wolf demons had been slain, the place where Inuyasha and Kouga had fought a battle nearly to the death, the place where... oh, she couldn't remember. But it was bad.
"Good afternoon, Kagome and... Kagome's companion," a woman with a deep voice said smoothly. Kagura. The wind apparition bowed before opening the door into Naraku's fortress for the two of them.
Kagome bowed to her as she passed, though Hiei just nodded his head, a frown on his face. He seemed more focused on examining her to be certain that she didn't offer a threat to his "friend."
Kanna was waiting for the two of them as they entered the castle, Kagome clutching her lemon squares as though they were the only thing protecting her from Naraku's wrath. Hiei was nervous as well; his hand was poised above his blade in a ready-to-draw position.
The two of them entered a smallish room containing nothing more than a low table and cushions upon which they were clearly to sit. Two others were already seated at the table; one Kagome recognized as Naraku, and the other she didn't know.
Naraku had a solemn look on his face, even as he pulled a packet of cards out of his kimono ("Hey!" Kagome thought. "Those are mine from back home!") and began shuffling them, all while staring at the two of them calmly. His companion, most likely the apparition that Sango had predicted would be awaiting them, was equally sober.
All-in-all, it was a very somber image, or at least until Naraku opened his mouth. "Iseethatyouhavearrived!" he announced quickly. Kagome couldn't understand a word he was saying.
"Um," she murmured, exchanging a look with a confused Hiei.
This is the all-powerful demon Kagome was referring to? Hiei wondered.
"What Master Naraku would like to say is that he sees that you have arrived, Kagome," the figure beside him said.
"Oh..."
"And you are?" Hiei snarled virulently.
"I'm one of Naraku's apparitions. The name's Bob," he said, holding out a hand to Kagome. She took it and shook it nervously, wondering what in the world this fellow could do.
"Bob?"
"Yes. Bob," he reiterated.
"Pleasure to meet you, Bob..." Was it just her, or was Naraku losing it?
"And your friend is...?"
"Hn," Hiei snorted, looking away.
"'Hn.' What an interesting name. Was your mother on drugs when she gave it to you?" Bob joked. He never even saw the fist that collided with his face, knocking him back. Kagome elbowed Hiei, reminding him to mind his manners.
"SoIseeyoufoundacompanionforyourgame?" Naraku commented casually, his mouth still moving at a million miles a minute.
"Um... Sure!" Kagome wasn't certain what she was agreeing to, but she thought that she had heard something about a pickled broom. She could be wrong, though.
"Andyoubroughtlemonsquaresmyfavorites!" Naraku cried, eyeing her precious squares, which she clutched tightly to her chest. These were *hers*. She snarled at him as his hand crept towards her plate of the treats.
Hiei, seeing Naraku's hand moving in the direction of Kagome, drew his katana. "Touch her and you'll never touch anything again," he threatened.
Kagome, seeing the sudden tenseness that filled the room, promptly said, "Lets play cards, shall we?"
*
Hiei and Kagome watched as Naraku and his apparition took their turn. "You sunk my battleship!" Bob exclaimed as Naraku did an impression of a fish. This was the most complex game Kagome had ever seen; it wasn't the Go Fish she was accustomed to. It had taken all of thirty seconds for the two teams to realize that they were playing two completely different games; while Kagome and Hiei played Go Fish in a traditional sense, Naraku and Bob were playing some sort of early version of Yu-Gi-Oh cards.
First, Bob would play a card face-down on the table, then Naraku would play an ace while crying "Go, my precious Blue-Eyes!" Then when Kagome or Hiei had attempted to do the same thing, they had been informed that they were cheating. Naturally, Naraku and Bob were winning, as they actually knew the rules of the game. At least Naraku was talking more normally.
That's when Kagome noticed it; every time Naraku played a card, he made some sort of ridiculously overdone movement with his arms as he did so. She watched him closely as he placed the six of spades on the board calling, "Dark Magician!"
Making up her own crazy movements, a complex series of twisting and turning her entire body with extreme caution, she finally drew a card at random from her hand and played it on the board with a much overdone shout of, "Exodia!"
"NOOO!" Naraku shrieked, doubling over as he clutched his head. "How could I have lost? I had every advantage! How could I have known that she knew the ultimate card's dance?"
He writhed in pain on the ground for a moment before Bob noticed what he was doing and began mimicking his movements. The two of them were like that until Kagome tentatively tapped Naraku on his shoulder. "Excuse me," she murmured softly.
"I HAVE LOST!!!" Naraku screamed, causing Kagome to cover her ears. Hiei just watched the whole scene, nervous that he had been infected by their insanity.
"Excuse me, Naraku," Kagome repeated.
"HOW COULD I HAVE LOST?!!" Naraku hollered, hurting Kagome's ears even more. Her eye twitched.
"NARAKU!" she yelled in his ear. That stopped him. Immediately sedated, he sat up, bopping Bob as he did so to prevent the fellow from continuing his agonistic writhing.
"Yes?" he sounded perfectly calm.
"I won. Jewel Shards, please." She extended her hand to him.
"Who says you won?" Naraku wondered aloud.
"You just did!"
"Did I?"
"Hanyou, give her the shards and be done with it," Hiei snorted disdainfully.
"You didn't win!" Naraku denied.
"As a matter of fact, we did. You were just writhing on the ground in agony a moment ago shouting it."
"No I wasn't." Naraku was clearly the King of Denial.
"Yes you were," Kagome retorted.
"Hn. Don't lower yourself to his level, Kagome," Hiei said.
"Well, it doesn't matter! Bob!" Naraku called. Immediately, the apparition stood and shoved Kagome and Hiei back into a closet, locking the door with a click.
"Hey!" Kagome cried through the door. It was dark in here... and stuffy... and small...
"Serves you right!" Naraku's jeer was muffled by the door. "You cheated, I know it!"
"Great," Kagome mumbled.
"Yes, isn't it marvelous? I absolutely adore this closet," Naraku stated. "It's another incarnation of mine, you know. I like to call it my 'Closet of Doom.'"
"And..?"
"It's really, really small! Kukuku!"
"I fail to see the 'Doom' in your statement," Kagome drawled.
"Kukuku! I think that your claustrophobic friend is finding this far more trying than you!" Naraku laughed. Wait. Claustrophobic friend?
Kagome's eyes had adapted to the darkness, and now she saw Hiei, huddled up on the ground, his legs pulled to his chest as he shivered there. "So... small..." he stuttered.
Kagome heard Naraku leaving the room and then realized that she and Hiei were going to be in there for a *long* time. Would that really be so bad? she wondered. No, wait. This is just a Closet of Doom. Now if it were a Janitor's Closet of Doom....
Meanwhile, Hiei was wondering what had gone wrong. He, who fought demons on a daily basis. He, who should be unafraid of anything. He, who was terrified of small spaces. At least he was with Kagome.
At least I'm with someone I like, both of them thought in unison, though neither was about to come out and say it...