a reviewer brought it to my attention that some things in ch 8 are a bit confusing:

1) Sev is only teaching the N.E.W.T's class, Prof. Rain is teaching everyone else.

2) I think # 1 sums it all up...so yeah! R&R!

"Hey, Draco?" Harry asked as they sat eating lunch, outside. It was a Saturday, three days since he'd moved in. Harry, surprisingly, had found that he and Draco had a lot in common.

"Hmm?" Draco was just stuffing a rather large sandwich into his mouth.

"When you said that... Ron had a crush on me, were you telling the truth?" Harry asked.

Severus nearly choked on his drink, and Draco chewed his food in silence. "Well? Draco?"

"I wasn't supposed to tell you, not that he scares me or anything, but he was... rather descriptive with his words." Draco sighed as he swallowed. "But... since you know already, I guess it wouldn't hurt. Yes, weasel has a crush on you. I found his diary once, last year, and I read it. You know, to find out who it belonged to."

Harry nodded thoughtfully as he rolled his eyes. Ron had placed NUMEROUS curses and hexes on his journal, he placed his name on the front so anyone who found it would know who to give it to. "I'll have to talk to him, soon."

"Yeah." Severus barked. "I do NOT like to share."

"I guessed that from when you wouldn't let me mooch your breakfast." Harry added.

Draco laughed as Harry and Severus had an all out glaring war.

"Ron..." Harry said softly. "Can I speak to you.... Alone?"

Ron blushed. 'I really don't understand why I never saw it before.' "Sure Harry."

"Come on, lets go somewhere," He looked around the common room. "more....private."

Ron's blush deepened in color. Harry lead him away, walking down random corridors, going up and down stairs; until they reached the Room of Requirements. 'I need a place where it's quiet and no one can hear us... NOTHING ROMANTIC!'

A door appeared in the wall. Upon opening the door, Ron and Harry found a brightly lit room with two wooden chairs in the middle, no paintings or other furniture. "This'll do perfectly."

Ron nodded as Harry took a seat. "Ron, I need to talk to you about something."

Ron shifted awkwardly. "W-what about?"

"You have a crush on me."

Ron stood up and walked towards the door. He reached out and tried to open the door. "It won't open, Ron, I locked it; Alohomora won't work.. Sit down."

Ron reluctantly sat down; he didn't look at Harry. "You hate me now, don't you?"

"What?"

"I like you, so you hate me know. Right?"

"No."

"So... you like me back? You know, you may be bonded to Snape, but we could always have an af-" Ron's face lit up.

Harry interrupted him. "No, Ron, I can't. I don't like you any more than a really good friend. I love you, yes, but only as a brother. I'm sorry."

Ron looked at his feet. "Harry, can...can I kiss you?"

Harry looked a little bit uncomfortable. "I don't know."

Ron nodded and stood. Harry did the same. "So you understand now? The door's unlocked, now."

Ron nodded and wrapped his arms around Harry, who tensed slightly. "I'll always love you, Harry," Tears ran down his cheeks. "even if it means that I can only love you from the sidelines." He quickly kissed Harry on the cheek and walked out of the room, leaving a shocked Harry behind.

Harry touched the spot where Ron had kissed him. He blinked. "That went well." He walked out of the room, quietly closing the door behind him.

"Harry, How is it that this bunch of incompetent fools made it into this class?" Severus asked as he watched the class.

"Hey, you let them in. They got 'O's on their O.W.L's." Harry smiled; he'd finished his potion early and was walking around with Severus.

"Goyle. You're stirring it wrong." Harry noticed the yellow fizzing potion. It was supposed to be a translucent blue. "And you added too many unicorn hairs. How many did you add?"

"Uh...." Goyle paused. "Four."

"You're only supposed to have added one." Harry sighed as he looked into the cauldron. "And stir six times counter-clock wise, not clock-wise. You need to re-make the potion; it's ruined"

Goyle nodded, looking like he was considering hitting the boy in front of him. He eventually turned away and went to go see how Crabb was doing. Harry turned back to the yellow potion to clean it up.

"You know, I think, he either cheated on his test or I'm just really ignorant." Severus sighed.

"Ignorant." Harry chirped.

"Go away."

"Draco, I'd watch your potion more closely." Harry stated as he measured out beetle eyes. "I think they've figured out how to disarm the filter."

Draco nodded and moved to stand closer to his cauldron. He glared at anyone who looked his way.

Severus' voice broke the silence. "I really fail to see how it is that you are in even in this class, if you can't even make this simple transfiguration potion!" He was 'talking' (looked more like he was sneering) to Millicent, who was right in front of Harry.

They were making a potion that helped it's drinker transform into an animal without using an Animagus spells; one still had to buy a permit to buy one though, it was an inexpensive permit that was rarely used because of the potion's expensive ingredients. It worked much like a Polyjuice potion but only with animal parts.

"Your potion is neon green, and it's giving off puffs of blue smoke. The instructions clearly state that it is to be pink and fizz, NOT smoke!" Severus sneered. "Can't you do anything right?"

Harry felt slightly sorry for the girl, she wasn't use to this type of treatment from their professor. This, of course, was quickly smothered as he remembered all the cruel things this girl had put Draco through. He smirked as he turned back to his potion.

"Twenty points from Slytherin, for not payin-" Severus barked just as a loud boom erupted from the cauldron. It exploded, showering the class in the green potion.

Screaming erupted as the potion hit the unsuspecting students. Severus quickly pushed away the pain as he tried to get the class under control. "SHUT UP!"

The class quieted down almost instantly to soft whimpering. "That's better, please form a single file in front of the door. We are going to all go to the Hospital wing; if there are any of you who can't stand please get someone to float you."

The class quickly did as they were told in a shocked daze. Severus quickly marched them all up to Poppy, who went into instant nurse mode.

"Sit and drink this. It'll heal the burns." She barked handing out the potion in small cups.

Harry blinked as he sat and waited for the healing potion. Poppy stopped as soon as she got to him, gasping. "Harry, dear, are you feeling alright?"

Harry frowned. "Except for the burning sensation," He took one of the cups from Poppy and gulped it down. The pain subsided almost instantly. "I feel fine. Why?"

"MADAME POMFREY!" A frantic voice screamed. "Come quick!"

Poppy whirled on her heels. Millicent it seemed, had turned into a ball of black fur. "Oh my goodness! What potion were you making?"

"It was a transfiguring one, Beast Mutation. Somehow, Ms Bulstrode managed to completely ruin and explode her potion." Severus sneered.

"Ah, THAT explains a lot!" Poppy said as she shook her head. "Severus, could you please take Harry and Millicent into the private room? I need you to supervise their conditions."

Severus frowned and nodded. Millicent stood and followed Severus as he went and silently collected Harry.

Poppy went and finished taking care of the burned students, sending any others with.... defects, to Severus.

"Harry, are you feeling okay?" Severus asked gently.

Harry looked at him. "Yeah, fine. Why?"

"YOU HAVE EARS!!" Millicent screeched. Obviously, she could still see and hear, even through all the puffy black hair.

Harry instinctively covered his ears. "Not so loud!" His eyes widened as he felt his ears, they were soft, furry and a LOT larger then they should have been. "W-what happened?"

Severus quickly transfigured a quill into a hand mirror. Harry grabbed it and began to examine his face. "Oh My GOD! I'm a freaking cat!"

"Madame Pomfrey, I think I have a tail." Hermione chirped as she tugged on Poppy's robe.

Poppy whirled around and examined Hermione. She indeed did have a tail, a long, bushy, orange tail. Poppy sent her into the private room to wait.

"I have a tail." Hermione murmured as she walked to the private room Harry had been in when he'd had that relapse. "A tail..."

"I'm a freaking cat!" Harry exclaimed.

Hermione forgot her own problem and looked at Harry as she entered the room. He indeed did look like a cat: Pointed, furry ears replaced his normal ones, deep orange stripes were now painted across his cheeks and bare arms. Upon closer examination: his nails had formed into pointed claws and his teeth were now sparkling new fangs, his eyes were still green but now had slit pupils. He too, had a tail, orange and bushy like Hermione's own.

"Crookshanks." Severus stated as he examined Hermione and Harry.

"What?" Hermione, Harry and Millicent asked.

"Crookshanks, your cat." Severus repeated. "You and Harry both were in contact with him today, correct?"

Harry and Hermione nodded; Harry had been helping Hermione with her library books during lunch and had petted Crookshanks as he left. He'd gotten covered in cat hair. Hermione owned him, why wouldn't she have come in contact with him?

"Well, it would seem, as if the potion reacted to the hair on your robes. Ms Bulstrode has made the potion so that it now is activated just by contact with human skin, congratulations." Severus smirked.

The black puff that was Millicent shifted uncomfortably under Severus' fierce gaze. "Harry, can you read this?" Severus thrust a piece of parchment with writing in front of Harry's face.

"Yeah, it's an essay." Harry replied. "On fungus and it's uses. Why?"

"You like asking that don't you?" Severus sneered. "Well, fortunately, you haven't totally changed. Cat's eyes can't focus very well on things close up. Reading is impossible for them."

Hermione nodded knowingly. "I guess, I only got a tail out of the deal."

The door opened, at that moment, to reveal Poppy. She smiled at the four. "I guess you've gotten some idea as to what happened?"

Severus nodded and explained their hypothesis. Poppy nodded her agreement. "I think, we should get the headmaster."

"Well, Harry, I must say! Those ears do look quite handsome on you." Dumbledore smiled as soon as Poppy and Severus had finished explaining everything.

Harry growled, in a very cat like manner. "Yes, but how do we fix it?"

"I guess we could get Professor Rain to work on the anti-dote." Hermione chirped.

"Yes, a brilliant idea, Hermione." Dumbledore smiled. "I'm sure she wouldn't mind."

Severus nodded. "I'm okay with that as long as I can help too."

"As long as it gets done." Harry grumbled. "I don't need anything else weird happening to me."

"Oh, and you think I want to walk around looking like a cat's hair ball?" Millicent growled suddenly.

"Whatever."

"Well, Ms Granger, Mr. Snape, I do believe, If Poppy has nothing else, that you two may go back to your lives." Dumbledore said. "Ms Bulstrode, we will think of something to make you look less....like a 'hair ball' as you put it."

Harry sighed as he followed Hermione and Severus out. "It's too bad it's not Halloween yet. We'd have really realistic costumes."

Hermione smiled. "Tell me about it."

"Well, Ms Granger, this is where we leave you." Severus said as they reached the corridor where Harry and Sev had to turn off into so they could reach to dungeons. "Good night."

"Night, 'Mione." Harry waved.

"Good night you two." Hermione called as she waved at them.

The pair walked in silence until they reached their shared rooms. "On the weird scale, this... this rates a nine."

"Nine?" Severus asked.

"Nine? Nine what?" Draco asked, sitting up in the couch. "Why do you have cat ears?"

"I had a slight reaction to the potion, and Crookshanks' hair." Harry explained. "It rates a nine on the weird scale that is my life. Nine, only because I'm stuck like this for a bit."

"Cat boy..." Draco smiled. "Hmm, has a nice ring to it. Don't you think?"

"Don't forget, I've got claws now." Harry grumbled.

"Was that a threat, Potter?"

Severus snorted. 'We should probably tell 'em about the name change...shouldn't we?'

'We'll tell them.... later.' Harry smiled. "If you wanted it to be, Draco. Now, if you excuse me, I would like to finish my homework, eat and head off to bed."

Draco smirked. "Sure, Potter, sure."

A loud screaming yowl erupted from the Gryffindor table. It was supposed to be quiet Friday afternoon meal, until someone stepped on Hermione's tail.

"Oh! Hermione!" Ginny exclaimed guiltily. "I'm so sorry! I totally forgot to look out for your tail!"

Hermione cradled her tail gingerly. "It's okay, Ginny."

Harry winced as he watched from the Staff's table. "Poor 'Mione."

"Just be happy it wasn't you." Severus grumbled. "Such a Gryffindor, Too empathetic."

"Git."

"Prat."

"Idiot."

"Moron."

"Children." Minerva interjected.

"Whatever." The two teens growled.

"Oh joy. Trelawney first." Harry groaned.

"I fail to see why that woman needs to tell you in at least five different ways in which you will die tomorrow." Severus replied.

"Hobby, I guess." Harry smiled grimly.

"Professor Trelawney, in her own way, is only trying to look out for you, Harry." Minerva added.

"Who asked you?" Severus sneered.

"You'd best be off if you want to make it to the tower before classes start." Minerva smiled.

Severus rolled his eyes as he stood. "Come one, Harry. Let's go."

"Ms McGonagall," Prof. Rain asked.

"Please, call me Minerva."

"Oh...ah, Minerva, is he always like that?" Rain smiled uncomfortably. "Mr. Snape, I mean, is he always so...."

"Rude? Irritable, and totally childish?" Minerva laughed as Rain nodded. "You think it's bad now, wait till he grows up!"

Rain's eyes went wide. "And, I have to work with him...on that antidote...."

"Oh, he's not that bad. he just had a hard childhood. Plus, if he gets really bad, just call for Harry; he'll straiten Severus out." Minerva smiled as she stood. "Now, I'm sorry, but I have to get to my class. Who knows what they'll get into while I'm not there!"

Rain nodded in understanding. "Well, thanks, Minerva."

"Your well come."

Everyone'd been teasing Harry and Hermione about their 'new' costume.

"Very patriotic, Harry! Chudley Cannons would be proud!" Ron had laughed.

Draco even went as far as to get a hold of some catnip, just to see what happened.....Harry had been walking around and acting like he was drunk for nearly an hour afterwards....

Trelawney gasped out as she walked up to Harry's table. "I see darkness in your future. Someone close to you....." She squinted as if trying to see something far off. "Someone you care for.....will be taken.... by the shadows, but light will prevail...." She smiled at him and walked on to see how Lavender was doing.

"Oh yay, I'm guessing 'the shadows' means Voldemort," Severus flinched. "and if I'm going to beat him...again... you know, I think this whole 'Take over England, and kill all who disagree' is kinda getting old, you know?"

"Mr. Potter, I know that my prediction is very fascinating, but please, try to work on the crystal ball." Harry rolled his eyes as he listened to the Professor.

"Yes, Professor Trelawney." Harry smiled sweetly.

"Sickening how Slytherin you seem to be getting." Severus grumbled as looked at the crystal ball. "I really don't get the point of this."

"It's to waste our time, and a punishment for not paying attention all these years." Harry stated as he picked up the ball and began to move it around, as he stared into it. "Every time we do this.... I think I get more confused then before."

"Then why do you take this class?"

"When I signed up for it, it didn't say 'Warning: may result in extreme boredom. May cause drowsiness.' We had to fins out by ourselves. I can't even believe that I got an excetable grade in this!"

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Snape. Detention." Trelawney's voice chirped.

Harry blinked. "I've never gotten detention in this class before. Maybe we should consider pulling a Hermione, eh?"

"Mr. Potter! If you want to be into this class, I suggest you be quiet and work! If you have other things, more important then this; leave." Prof. Trelawney threatened. Parvati and Lavender were glaring at them. "but, of course, I'm willing to give-"

Harry grabbed his textbooks and book bag. He stood abruptly. "Come on, Sev'rus! We're leaving!" Severus enthusiastically grabbed his bag and threw his things into it.

"Ready?" Harry asked as he held out his arm. Severus took it.

"Hell yeah, Cat boy." Severus smirked.

They walked to the trap door as Trelawney stood there in shock. "Good day, Professor!" Severus and Harry chimed as they left.

"I can't believe we still have detention." Harry whined as they walked up to the Divination tower.

"Stop complaining, after this, you'll never have to be in there again." Severus grumbled.

"I don't even think anyone's EVER gotten detention with Trelawney." Harry sighed.

Severus stopped and stared at him. Harry stopped walking and turned. "What?"

Severus rubbed his chin. "Hmm....I wonder...."

"WHAT?!?!?!"

Severus reached up and began to rub Harry's new cat ears. "They're soft."

"What the he-" Harry began but he quickly quieted and began to purr as Severus rubbed his ears. Harry's eyes glazed over and half closed.

"Aww... cute little cat boy's got a weakness." Severus laughed as he let go and walked to the tower again.

Harry looked dazed for a second before snapping back to reality. "What the hell?!?!"

"I never knew you could purr, Harry, kinda girly isn't it?" Severus asked as they reached the entrance to the tower.

"Ah, Mr. Potter and Mr. Snape, how nice of you to show up." Trelawney smiled. "I want you to wash these cups and teapots, then move and rearrange the tables and chairs so that they are in alignment with the consolations in this chart." She pointed to a complicated looking chart with dots, notes and pictures on it. "I hope you're going to think about what you did today. I'm disappointed in you two."

'Oh dear god.' Severus thought sarcastically. 'She's 'disappointed in us'. How ever shall I manage to live now?'

"I'll be back in an hour to check on you." Trelawney said curtly as she walked to the door. "I hope you think long and hard about what you did."

Harry smiled as he picked up some cups and dipped them into the bucket of warm soapy water, cringing as he did. His tail puffed out, and his ears seemed to flatten against his head.

"What are you doing?" Severus asked.

"Detention." Harry growled. "This is so gross....the water feels so.....yuk!"

"You're a wizard you idiot! Use magic!" Severus said as he took out his wand. "Mundus."

"Oh...." Harry blinked. He pulled his hands out of the water and dried them on his robes. "Right....Mundus...."

The pile of dishes was wiped clean. Harry smiled. "Now, what did she mean by the....'aligning with the consolations in this chart' part?"

Severus walked up to the chart and studied it for a moment then sighed. "I donno, I guess we pick one and arrange the tables into that consolation."

"Okay, pick one." Harry said.

"Okay... this one, the goose... looks easy."

They set out into making the duck which was just a really big cross. They were almost finished when Harry stopped and studied the remaining chairs and tables. "We should leave a few to do by hand," they'd been using magic to move everything. "So it doesn't look like we used magic."

Severus nodded. "I like the way you think."

Harry smiled as he began to push the remaining tables into place. A few moments after they'd started, Trelawney popped back in. "I see your making progress."

"hmm." Severus grunted as he pushed a very large, cushy chair into place.

"When you're done you may leave." Trelawney smiled as she sat down.

The two boys finished quickly and listened impatiently to Trelawney's last little scolding. "I do hope you've learned your lesson! I really don't like giving you two, bright, young lads detention. I hope to see you in a better frame of mind next class; You may go."

Harry could barley keep from skipping all the way down to the dungeon. "YAY! I'M FREE!!! FREE! FREE! FREE! FREE!! I'M FREE!"

"Calm down, you." Severus smiled. "I'm glad you feel liberated or something but, seriously, you're giving me a headache."

Harry stopped running around and contented for walking with a skip and constantly smiling.

"Saying it in your mind is even worse, Kitty." Severus jeered.

Harry glared at him. "I wouldn't talk! At least, I didn't do this by myself and I am NOT a Potions Master, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!"

Severus glared. "Whatever, Potter."

"Why do you still call me that, if technically, I'm no longer 'Mr. Potter'?" Harry asked whipping around so he was walking backwards.

"Old habits die hard...Speaking of which, when should we tell the rest of the school?"

Harry shrugged. "When the time comes, we'll tell them."

Rita walked aimlessly around the school. "Where is that damned office?"

A familiar looking girl walked by, she looked at Rita, a quick look of recognition flashed across her face as she suddenly turned and ran in the opposite direction. Rita shrugged it off.

"This is going to take all bloody day isn't it?"

A woman walked by, she was holding a large tray of potions. Rita sighed. "Excuse me, but where is the headmaster's office?"

The woman paused slightly. "I'll lead you there as it is in the same direction as I am heading."

Rita smiled as she followed the woman. "Are you the potions master here?" She'd been sure it had been a guy... Snake...no... Snape, yes, he was a suspected Death Eater.

"Yeah," The woman answered curtly.

"What happened to the old one, Snape, I believe?" Rita asked politely.

"He had a potions accident and will no longer be able to teach." The woman smiled as they came up to a large gargoyle. "Swedish chocolate is the best chocolate in the whole world."

"Excuse me?" That had been SO weird.

"Oh sorry, that's the password, he should be up there." The gargoyle had jumped away to reveal a large passage way.

"Thanks."

Rita walked the short hike up the stairs. She reached the door and was about to knock when it swung open.

"Ah, Ms Skeeter, how nice of you to drop in." Dumbledore's smiled was forced and falsely sweet, a very rare thing with him. "Here for Harry's interview, I assume?"

"Yes." Rita smiled brightly, flashing as many teeth as humanly possible. "I do hope I haven't come at an inconvenient time?"

"Oh, no of course not, I shall get him for you, if you'll kindly wait here." Dumbledore smiled as he stood.

Rita nodded and flopped down, gracefully, into the nearest chair. These heels were killing her.

"What do you mean I have to have an interview with Rita Skeeter right now?!?!?!" Harry growled.

"She's here." Dumbledore said calmly. "You have to."

"Hey, what about me? You think I want to have my face plastered next to yours in the paper?" Severus growled, he was in a particularly fowl mood, for no particular reason.

"No one cares." Harry grumbled back, his cat tail flicking back and forth in annoyance. Severus made a rude hand gesture at Harry's back. ]

"I ask that you 'break' the news to her gently." Dumbledore smiled as he opened the door to his office.

"Hello, Harry. It's been such a long time since I last saw you." Rita Skeeter smiled.

Harry rolled his eyes. 'Great, perfect. Just kill me now' Harry settled down on Dumbledore's desk, leaning on the edge. Severus sat actually on the desk, next to him.

'Gladly.' Severus sneered bitterly.

Harry glared at Severus.

"You know what will happen," Dumbledore's voice pulled Harry and Severus back into the real world. He glanced at Rita. "let's hope it all goes over well when it's printed."

Harry nodded. "Okay."

"I'll leave you then. Good day." Dumbledore smiled as he walked out of the room, leaving Harry, and Severus alone.

Rita's gaze instantly snapped to Harry, then up at Severus. "I wish to have a PRIVATE interview with Harry Potter."

"Severus stays, or no interview." Harry barked.

Rita smiled. "Of course." She pulled out her Quick-Quotes Quill and quickly set it up with a fresh piece of parchment. Harry glared at her as she did this. "Rita Skeeter's interview with Harry Potter."

The quill quickly began to write in its brilliant green ink.

The beautiful and very talented Rita Skeeter in an exclusive, private interview with the famous Boy-who-lived.

Harry rolled his eyes. 'I hate that quill.'

"Mr. Potter, I'd like to ask you a few simple questions now, so please just ignore the quill." Harry rolled his eyes again as he nodded. "Now- What are your thoughts on the return of He-who-must-not-be-named?"

"Voldemort..." Rita and Severus both flinched." He's evil...Like I get that he hate Muggles and stuff, but I think he kinda...crosses the sane line a bit... You know? Going around killing innocent wizards and Muggles just because they don't like your ideas. Really, it gets kinda old." The quill wrote this all down...kinda.

Harry's brilliant green eyes flash with anger as we head towards the topic of He-who-must-not-be-named. "The.. Thing..." Harry's fists clench as he grinds out his words. "Killed my family and destroyed the better half of the Wizarding world! He deserves to die in the most gruesome way-"

"Ignore the quill- Harry, how do you feel about your parents, do you think they would approve of you know?" Rita leaned closer to Harry.

"Er...I really don't know...uh..."

I turn the topic towards Harry's late parents. Harry turns away to hide the tears that begin to streak his face. "I don't really remember them... but I miss them, I'm so jealous of other kids, they have..." Harry must stop as he breaks into sobs. I try my best to comfort him.

"Interesting things you get out of 'I really don't know'." Severus sneered.

Rita turned her gaze on Severus. "And, who are you? What is your relationship to Harry?"

"There is something I'd think we'd best get out of the way, Rita...." Harry interjected just as Severus opened his mouth to answer.

Rita turned her attention back to Harry. "Yes? What would this be?"

"I have an announcement to make, and a confession.... of sorts." Harry sighed.

Rita's face lit up. "I can see it now! 'The real Harry Potter: Confessions. Start from the beginning. What was your home life like?"

Harry looked at Severus, who took Harry's hand. "I was raised by muggles...as most people know, but... There's something about them that you don't know. They...They beat me." Harry felt Severus squeeze his hand reassuringly. "For a major part of my life, before I got my letter, I was only told lies. I was told that my mum and dad died in a car crash, that I got my scar in the same way. I was told that magic wasn't real, and that it didn't and couldn't exist. They told me... everyday... that I... That I was a...." Harry felt a tear run down his face. "They told me I was a freak. After they learned of Cedric's death.... they called me a killer, and that I didn't deserve to live."

The quill scribbled madly, for once writing the truth.

Harry's brilliant eyes fill with frustrated tears as he describes the horror he lived with during his childhood. This reporter is stunned beyond words as he tells about how he was beaten...

Rita gasped at all the right spots and for once, she stayed quiet when Harry stopped talking.

"Everything that went wrong was my fault, at first.. He didn't hit me, my Uncle anyway, then... then one day, he just hit me, and it didn't stop." Harry's vision blurred as he ran through the painful memories. "I was hardly fed, if at all. I was given impossible lists of chores, and expected to do them in a small amount of time. At school, a muggle grade school, I was beaten up and I never had any friends. When I got my letters, they wouldn't let me see them, Hagrid sent thousands of them. I was moved from my cupboard, where I'd lived most of my life, to the second bedroom or my fat, spoiled cousin. Everything I got was second hand, my clothes, my food, even my room." Harry gripped the sheets with his free hand to relieve some of his anger. "It felt so good to come to school, no one hit me. I was fed, as much as I wanted, three times a day. I had friends! Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, and all of my housemates. People who were my age that cared about me. I learned who my parents really were, and what really happened. I got by during summer because of my friends, and the knowledge that I would be going back to Hogwarts."

The quill scribbled away as Rita searched for the words to form the next question. "Do...Do you have a girlfriend?"

Harry smiled at this lighter topic. "Kinda... You see.... I have thousands of girls who would throw themselves at me and be my slaves if I asked them....But I don't care."

Rita's eyes widened. "So, no lucky girl....A luck guy then?"

Severus' eyes flashed as Harry answered. "Yes...and no. yes, I do have a boyfriend...of sorts...then I found out something else about him...and me...."

"Just when you thought life couldn't get any weirder...." Severus laughed.

"It goes and surprises you." Harry finished. "I always had a crush on Snape, but I never really told him.... Then I found out that..."

Severus finished for him. "We're bonded, with the Shadow Bond."

"Oh." Rita smiled sweetly, the smiled look totally plastered on. "So I guess, The title of the most eligible bachelor is a bit out dated?"

Harry nodded. "Just a little."

Rita smiled again and nodded. "So your name is? And how old are you?"

Severus replied coolly. "Severus Snape. I was thirty years old but, due to a potions mix up, I am now currently about Seventeen."

"Oh yeah...I'm now legally married to Sev..." Harry smiled.

Rita nodded. "Harry, now that you're married. What's your last name? Potter-Snape? Or did you keep your own?"

"Harry James Snape." Harry stated in a very rehearsed voice.

"I see." Rita blinked. "And how did you end up...With cat features?"

"Potions accident. Me and a few others are stuck in similar states of...catness. No, I won't tell you their names, they deserve some privacy. I'll have Hermione enforce that too, if you try and find out." Rita's smiled faded as she flinched. "There is an antidote....on the way."

"Huh." Rita murmured.

"Well, if you have nothing other to ask, we have classes." Harry said curtly as he stood.

"Well, good bye then, Mr. Po-Snape." Rita smiled silkily. "I'll have a copy of this sent to you as soon as it's printed."

Harry nodded as he walked to the door. "Good day, Rita."

"Hey! Potter!" A voice sneered as Harry walked by the Gryffindor table.

Harry fought the urge to turn his head.

'Now, Harry, would be a good time to start enforcing to them that Harry Potter is no longer you..'

'Yeah.'

"No one by that name exists, Ms Merdell."

The who table looked confused. "What do you mean, Potter's standing right there."

Harry turned to face his house. "I'm sorry, but I am Harry Snape." Silence.

The whole house, everyone who hadn't been present during Harry's retelling (apparently, Lavender had decided that Harry need his privacy, and hadn't told anyone....other than Parvati...but she'd been sworn to secrecy.), was in shock. Harry had just totally crossed the line there, sure he'd lost LOTS of house points but, who didn't? Now, though, he wa MARRIED to Severus Snape, the biggest, greasiest, git of a Potion Master EVER!

The Slytherins and the Gryffindors, took the news the hardest. 1) Harry was now, by marrrage, a Slytherin. 2) He was MARRIED to Snape, the Head of House for Slytherin. 3) HE WAS MARRIED TO SNAPE!! They were mainly all in shock. Harry Potter...no, Harry Snape was now officially in Slytherin. God, could the world get any weirder?

Apparently, yes, yes it could.

I'd like to send a big huggie out to all of my reviewers, flamers included. R&R!