Shuuichi fell to the ground as he slipped on some wet pavement from the rain. He tore open a part of his jeans and he laid on the ground, on his hands and knees, slightly sobbing. Of course, the downpour of the rain hid his tears but not the heartbreak look on his face. It had been raining for the past hour after Shuuichi had left Yuki's home. Shuuichi's drenched clothes seemed to add an extra ten pounds of weight to his already weak-from-exhaustion-and-hunger-body.

"Yu... ki..." He said quietly while he sobbed. Placing a hand on his chest, he tried to soothe the pain from within; from his heart. It did not work. "Yuki! Itai desu, Yuki!" Shuuichi then broke into a new wave of tears. "I can't take this anymore." He said between his sobs. On the ground, his fists then clenched tightly and shook. "I can't handle being away from Yuki. But I can't... I can't go back..."

"Shi-- Shindou-kun?" In surprise, Shuuichi raised his head. His eyes were widened slightly as he looked around at who had said his name. His eyes then fell on someone who looked familiar. "Shindou-kun! I thought it was you!" The girl ran over to him and knelt down on the ground beside him, trying to dry him off but failing to do so.

"Aya-- Ayaka-sama?" Shuuichi asked. He had not gotten over his shock at seeing the young Kyoto beauty again. He had never thought to see her again. Ayaka smiled at the Bad Luck vocalist.

"Hai." She said sweetly. "It's me. Demo... why are you here, Shindou-kun?" Once again, Shuuichi was taken aback. He had not expected that question to be asked and he was not prepared for it. Once his brief shock did surpass, he lowered his head and his eyes. He sniffed. Ayaka was concerned. "Shuu-- Shuuichi-chan?" Shuuichi said nothing but threw himself into the arms of Ayaka and cried. It was her turn to be taken aback. "Na-- nani?"

--Back at Yuki's home--

Yuki's eyelids fluttered as he opened them and looked around the room. It took him a few moments to realize where he was and recall what had happened. His face fell and his depressed demeanor returned. His aura was filled with sadness and gloom. He did not want to be awake anymore. At least while he had been asleep, he could pretend like nothing had happened that day. He could pretend that Shuuichi was with him and not gone...

The last thought jerked Yuki awake and he sat erect instantly, his eyes opened wide. "Shu-- Shuuichi..." He said silently. Looking frantically around him, he did not see Shuuichi anywhere. Seeing none of his belongings bothered Yuki even more. Where was he? Yuki had this strange and heart-tightening feeling. He knew something was wrong. He was beginning to panic when it became more apparent that he would not find Shuuichi and that his gut feeling was truly right; that something could indeed have been wrong with Shuuichi. "Where are you, Shuuichi?" Yuki demanded, his heart pounding in angst. He got up and made way to leave the room when he heard a light crumpling of paper beneath his bare feet. Looking down, his eyes fell upon the note that Shuuichi had written. Recognizing the handwriting, Yuki knelt down, picked up the note and read what it said.

'Eiri-- I have decided to go away. I can not explain why and I would rather not take the time to if I could. But while you were sleeping, I realized that everything that has happened to you has been my fault. I knew that all along, but I only just realized that I was killing you slowly when today ended. You looked so hurt and miserable when you were crying and those tears were a direct result of me. I know that your life would be a lot better if you had never met me. Thus said, I have decided it's for the best if I leave you now. Gomen. I have been a horrible burden to you, Yuki. But I will always love you, even if we never meet again. Aishiteru, Shuuichi-san.'

Yuki crumpled the letter within his fist and tried desperately to hold back the tears that threatened to fall from his eyes. "Shuuichi..." He said quietly. He lowered his head and cried silently as his body shook for several minutes until raising his head again and screaming, "SHUUICHI!!!!!!!!"

--With Ayaka and Shuuichi...--

Ayaka had taken Shuuichi back to her own home after he had thrown himself at her and had sobbed. She was worried about him and he was destrught. Leaving Yuki was his own idea, but it caused so much pain to him that he could barely move without feeling it throughout his entire body. Ayaka had brought him home with her because she had felt sorry for him and she did not want him to get sick by staying out in the rain. When they had reached Ayaka's house, Ayaka led Shuuichi into the livingroom, given him a towel and boiled some water for the tea. She then sat with him as he tried to control his tears and wipe off all the water from his hair and his clothes. Nothing was said between the two of them and all that was heard in the quiet house was the sniffling of Shuuichi every once in a while. After the pot began to whistle and Ayaka had given Shuuichi his tea, he drank it and began to feel a little better. With some dried clothes, he was able to feel less wet and the atmosphere of the house was very cozy, despite the fact that her family also ran a temple.

"Is... is there something bothering you, Shindou-kun?" Ayaka asked curiously, wanting to get everything into the open since she felt that Shuuichi would feel better if he talked about what was bothering him. He did not, however, and the silence that occurred after that question was even more of a deafening one. Ayaka hurriedly thought of something else to talk about. She had a feeling that his tears had something to do with Yuki, so she was going to stay as far away from that subject as possible. "So, Shuuichi. It has been a long while since I have seen or heard anything about you. How is your band going? Are you doing well? I liked your music before but my little cousin is a big fan of your band. She says that you guys have a new member. Is that true?" Shuuichi said nothing. He stared out into space and quietly drank his tea, the towel draped over his shoulders. She tried yet again; anything to get her to know that he was alright. "Uhm, how is Hiroshi doing? Is he well?"

"Your hand."

Ayaka was taken aback by Shuuichi's comment; and the weirdness of the comment at that. "Huh?"

"Your hand." He said. "There's a ring... on your finger." He then looked at her and his eyes met her own. She gasped lightly as her heart seemed to pop into her throat. Shuuichi looked so heartbroken. His eyes were so out-of-focus that he had a look like he did not care what happened to him anymore. He could die and not even blink or shed a single tear.

Embarassed slightly, Ayaka felt her cheeks redden. "Yes, well..." She fingered her ring nervously.

"Are... you engaged?"

"Well... yes." Ayaka replied, smiling as she thought of her fiancee. "He's a very sweet man. His family runs a temple too and he is a year older than me. I have not known him as long but he is very sweet and very handsome. I must admit that I love him very much." She then brought her clenched hand to her heart. "Even though I love Eiri still and I always will, I think my fiancee will make me very happy." Suddenly she realized what she had said; she had mentioned Yuki's name! Gasping, she covered her mouth and wished and prayed that she could take it back. Worried, she looked over at Shuuichi but her worry was in vein. She was shocked and relieved to see that Shuuichi did not have that blank look of a lost puppy in his eyes anymore. His eyes were starting to come back to life although a major part of them were still clouded and lost in the shrouds. Shuuichi smiled a little at her, but even his smile seemed to break her heart.

"I'm glad." He said. "I really am. You deserve a nice man, Ayaka. If I had not gotten in the way, you would have been very happy with Eiri. You would not have caused him as much grief as I have."

"Shuuichi!" Ayaka gasped. She could not believe what she was hearing. "Eiri would never have been happy with me! It's obvious that he loves you! You are the only one who has ever been able to open up his ice-cold heart and make him smile with true sincerity!" Ayaka suddenly cut herself off when she saw two solitary tears fall from each one of Shuuichi's eyes.

"Maybe," He said. "But he is still upset. Because I am a guy, he has to deal with so much shit from everyone just because I love him. If we had never met, it would have been better for him. It might have been better for me, too."

Suddenly there was a loud snap and Shuuichi's eyes opened wide in shock and even slight horror. His cheek started to turn slightly red and he rose his hand to touch his cheek. Ayaka was glaring at him in anger. She had just slapped him across the face. "Don't say that!" She screamed, scaring Shuuichi. "You love him! Does it matter that you are both guys?! If you love each other, it should not matter! And everyone in love has to go through shit if they're homosexual or not! Don't be so selfish and pretend like you are the only one with problems, Shindou Shuuichi!" There was a fire in Ayaka's eyes that did truly terrify Shuuichi. He remained silent as she screamed at him.

--With Yuki...--

Yuki was still in his pajamas but had thrown on his coat. He was running down the streets of Kyoto like a madman, searching for his lover. He could not hold back the tears that fell from his eyes and they flew behind him as he ran. Every so often, he came across someone and he showed them a picture of Shuuichi. "Have you seen him?" Yuki would demand. "Have you seen this kid? He's shorter than me with short pink hair and wearing... I don't know! Probably miss-matched clothes that make him look so cute. He's nineteen. Have you seen him?!" Yuki never caught a break, however, and he was about to give up when he recognized what road he was on. He was near where Ayaka lived. Not knowing how he got there, he suddenly got an idea to ask her where Shuuichi might be. As he ran towards her house, his heart started to pound harder and even rise. He began to believe that he was getting closer and closer to his lover.

--With Ayaka and Shuuichi...--

Ayaka had calmed down and had stopped screaming. Shuuichi had stopped being terrified of her for the time being and they sat together in silence. Finally, Shuuichi broke the silence by speaking quietly. "Something... something really bad happened." Ayaka was confused. Looking over at him, she asked,

"Huh?"

"You asked earlier what had happened. Yuki... Yuki brought me up here to meet his father. He wanted to tell his father that he was gay and that we were lovers, living together. But something happened and went really wrong. After he told his father, his father snapped. He started hitting Yuki and screaming at him. I interrupted them and his dad attacked me, saying that I was responsible for Yuki's 'preverted behavior'." As Shuuichi began to tell and relive the events of the earlier day, tears came to his eyes and spilled over, splashing onto his lap as he had his head bent. In silence, Ayaka listened. "His dad started choking me and Yuki hit him to make him stop. Before he left the room, his dad said that Yuki was disowned from the family. That he never wanted to see him anymore and that Yuki was no longer his son in his eyes. Yuki started to cry and I know it was all my fault. If we had never met, none of this would have ever happened and he would never have been shunned from his father." Shuuichi then stayed silent and cried silently, his body lightly shaking as he did so. Ayaka stayed silent as well and said nothing. Finally, after several moments had passed, she moved closer to Shuuichi, placed a hand on his back and gently rubbed his back to soothe the pain and make him feel better.

"It's understandable behavior." Ayaka said sadly. "His father is a monk, after all. But it does not help that he personally hates homosexuals with a passion. He has never been able to stand them and he fears them. That is why, even though Yuki and Tatsuha are bi, they could never tell their father because he would probably kill them. Without hesitating, as well." Shuuichi still cried. With a softer and more consoling voice, Ayaka continued. "But Shuuichi, it is not your fault that this happened to you. Yuki wanted to come out to his father about your relationship because he wanted to be accepted by his father. Yuki is a very complicated person. But I know that you are not a burden to him. You are his inspiration. You make him want to please his father and you make him want to be honest with himself as well as with the people he loves." Shuuichi was surprised and the look on his face expressed exactly that as he looked up at Ayaka and met her eyes. She smiled at him sweetly and her eyes were soft. She was being honest. "Yuki does not get along with his father at all, Shuuichi. But you make him want to."

"I.. I do...?"

Ayaka laughed lightly and smiled. "You honestly have no idea how much you effect Eiri, do you?" The blank look on his face showed the answer and made Ayaka laugh again. "Make him tell you sometime. Force it out of him. You'd be surprised how much he really loves you. Even if he won't admit it." Ayaka then stood up, leaving the poor Shuuichi in a state of shock and speechlessness. She picked up the two cups of tea which were empty. "More tea?" She offered. Dumbly, Shuuichi nodded his head. Ayaka smiled as she left the livingroom and went to the kitchen to make some more tea for Shuuichi. In the process of this, the doorbell chimed. Shuuichi was pulled roughly out of his amazed state and he looked automatically over at the door. There was even loud and urgent pounding on the door. "Coming!" Ayaka called, trying to get the person who was pounding to stop. When she opened the door, even she was surprised to find who was standing there. "Eiri."

"Yuki?" Shuuichi said, feeling his heart skip at least two beats and jump into his throat in excitement. He heard a voice and knew it was Yuki.

"Where is Shuuichi?"

"Well..." Ayaka was a little hesitant to let him in. She was not so sure that Shuuichi was ready to see him. He was still upset.

"Tell me where he is, dammit!" Yuki said angrily. "I know he's around here somewhere!" Ayaka tried to hide Yuki's view but he looked around her hurriedly, trying to catch a glimpse of his lover within her home. He spotted a flash of Shuuichi as he hid behind the couch hurriedly. Barging in, Yuki thrust Ayaka aside and made his way into the livingroom. "Shuuichi!" Scared and unsure, Shuuichi slowly came out from behind the couch. His head was bowed. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHIT?!" He screamed, thrusting out his arm. Shuuichi looked up and he recognized the lettering and what it said.

"My... my letter..."

"What the hell is it?!" Yuki demanded. "You expect me to believe this shit? What the fuck were you thinking?!"

"I didn't want to be with you anymore!" Shuuichi screamed, clutching the towel in his shaking and clenched fists, holding it close to his chest as tears fell from his eyes. Yuki was shocked. "I couldn't hurt you! I don't want you to be in pain anymore because of me!"

It took a moment to respond, but Yuki finally did. With his eyes narrowed, he said coldly, "A little late for that, wouldn't you say?" He asked icily. Shuuichi was caught off guard and looked up at his lover. "This is what I think about your bullshit letter." He then took the letter in both hands and ripped it to shreds. Shuuichi's mouth dropped open in astonishment. Ayaka, who was watching from the hallway, also felt her jaw drop. After throwing the ripped pieces to the floor, he walked up to Shuuichi. He cupped his hand under his chin and pulled his face closer to his own. "I don't care what happens, Shuuichi. I don't care if my bastard father disowns me a hundred thousand times. I will still want to be with you. And I will always say I love you over and over and over again until I can't talk anymore; if only it will make you happy." Shuuichi felt tears well up in his eyes. He raised his own hand and placed it on top of Yuki's.

"Aishiteru, Yuki." Shuuichi said quietly. "Gomen ne." Yuki smiled a little and then kissed his lover, brushing his tongue against his. Shuuichi still cried as they kissed and Yuki wrapped his arms around Shuuichi, pulling him closer to himself. Ayaka stood in the background, smiling sweetly. She knew that they were both in love. And she knew that Shuuichi was the only one who could open Yuki up after so much pain and allow Yuki to feel love again.

--ending notes: This story is drawing to a close, I think. Maybe one more chapter, maybe two. But I love this chapter. I love seeing Yuki romantic and so in love with Shuuichi. It's so cool! ::gleam; shoujo-bubbles:: Anyway, PLEASE REVIEW!!! Thank you to all my loyal fans! I love you all! ::blows kisses:: Ja! ((oh yeah: the line 'say I love you over and over again until I can't speak anymore'... I stole that from the anime, Full Moon wo Sagashite. Gomen!))