An unwilling damsel by Joy
Reason to put this story on your ALERT list- yesterday and today appears to be at a stand still even though the stories have been updated. Just a thought.
A/N: WARNING: This chapter involves reliving Ginny's attack. I did my best to avoid graphic nature but the emotion is there. For those who don't want to read this chapter but get the gist of what is going on so you can continue with the story (only three chapters left after this) just email me and I will give you a brief overview.
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Double vision12.
Ginny walked Harry through the halls without a word. She let him be a step behind at all times. I can do this. I will do this... and then I will completely tell him off...no dump him. I will dump the 'great' Harry Potter; more like the insensitive git Harry Potter.
Harry noticed they were fairly close to the Gryffindor portal but weren't going in. "Ginny?" Harry called in question. "Gin, I'm sorry about..." He reached to touch her arm but she shook him off.
"Not interested in apologies at the moment Potter," she cut him off coldly. One right turn and Ginny nudged him into a small room with a table and a couple of chairs.
"What are we doing here Ginny?" he asked looking about the darkened room.
Ginny's angry expression told Harry this was an uphill battle. She was beyond pissed at him. "You wanted to know...so you're gonna know. You want my memories. Fine...you can have them," Ginny muttered holding up a small pill and then handed him a glass of water.
"Come on Harry. You want me to trust you, right?" Ginny spoke almost sadistically.
Harry nodded once not liking the way things were going at all.
She continued, "Then this is what you have to do to earn it...take the pill."
Harry's eyes grew big. He knew of no spell that dealt in pill form. Potions he knew about but... Suddenly Snape's words came back to him...absolute trust. Snape created the pill, not Ginny. He had told Harry what to do. So now Harry had to trust his professor and his girlfriend. He took the pill.
Harry's head began to swim. He felt like he was in a bad American B-Movie. Images started flashing behind his eyes but there was no continuity. Then there was Ginny's voice. "Tell me when things are clearer and tell me what you see."
Harry blinked a few times. He was seeing the world through his own perspective only slightly. The second layer...Ginny's perspective and her emotions were over laying reality. "You... You're walking an older guy comes up to you in the hall."
"Ah yes...that's when it all started." She laughed. "No...I guess Tom started it all but that will come later. The older guy is Theo Blinker, Slytherin. He is telling me how good I looked and how he wanted to introduce me to some closet experiences."
Harry felt the revulsion run through her body, but at the same time how hard Ginny was trying to politely say no. She walked off just as her brothers came by. "Theo didn't like being told by Fred and George he wasn't good enough for their sister...their sweet innocent sister." The words were bitter in her mouth.
The world spun a bit as Harry felt himself being tugged into the very room they were in. He felt Ginny's terror at being trapped again but also the fear when she saw who it was that had pushed her. She couldn't get to her wand. Harry couldn't hear what was being said, but Ginny supplied the words. "Theo decided that if I thought I was too good for him he would have to show me how low I was." The words were almost growled... painful, angry.
Then Harry was being forcefully kissed. Harry was experiencing this in the first person. It was horrible. He had no control over his limbs. He couldn't get away, only scream. Harry felt his mouth being pried open and invaded. He felt Blinker's arousal up against him. He felt his hair being pulled as the scum one handed undid his belt.
"See Harry I'm nothing to him. Didn't matter how I fought or said no. I was just something to be used." That statement was almost matter-of-fact, weary in a way.
Harry felt nausea sweep over him and it wasn't Ginny's feelings, but his own. He tried to rationalize that it didn't happen; Ginny hadn't been raped, but in those moments she believed she was going to be. Then there was the moment of resignation where he felt Ginny decide no matter what she refused to cry. She wouldn't give Theo that.
Suddenly there was a bright light and Theo was away from her. The twins were beating the crap out of him. She would not cry. She would not cry.
Harry thought it would end there but it didn't. He lived through going to Dumbledore's office. Theo blaming her...that they were just having some fun when her brothers got in the way. That she was nowhere near as innocent as she pretended. Harry watched as Ron nearly cursed Theo into oblivion. "He's not worth it," she muttered out loud.
The scene shifted carefully. Ginny was washing in scolding water and rubbing her skin raw yet still there were no tears. Later with the Weasley's all furious buzzing round her, Ginny just crawling into Ron's bed. Harry saw portions of Ginny's nightmares being raped, being forced to do... things... the disgust that washed over her. He felt her get up and go before the hearth and finally let herself shatter, weeping.
For Ginny watching Harry live through these painful moments was awful. She would observe him cringe or shudder, flinch and strain to move away from the images in front of his face...things that weren't really there. She swallowed slowly realizing the extent of what she had done in this spell. She was laid bare for him to see everything.
Soon Harry was weeping...he was probably unaware of it, but at least she knew now where he was in the time-line. "I couldn't hold it in any longer Harry...I couldn't keep it away."
Just about then was when Harry's mind took on a curious turn...he was watching himself comfort Ginny, feel what she felt and later dream what she dreamt. He watched himself climb into bed after her and hold her close. And then Ginny drifted off to sleep only to find when her dreams took a nasty turn he, Harry Potter, was there to help.
He felt Ginny's body awaken next to his terrified at what she thought transpired for about ten seconds. He lived the odd sensation she received when he had called her beautiful.
The trance continued... life began anew and Harry Potter was always there. He walked Ginny to every class, sat next to her at every meal, and talked with her a bit every night. He felt the peace that brought her.
"Are you at class yet?" the real Ginny asked from far away.
He shook his head, paused, then nodded. There were a group of Slytherin boys sending her nasty notes and generally causing her grief. Professor Snape was there reprimanding them. When one boy was foolish enough to make fun of his teacher, the five found themselves on permanent detention...wands removed except for class.
The class let out and Snape quietly asked if they were harassing her about Blinker being removed. She agreed. He promised to help protect her by any means he could. Ginny had been so grateful she leaned into her Professor and wept openly. That of course was when Harry had opened the door.
Harry never really thought much about how he looked when he was angry. It wasn't pretty, he discovered. He felt the air charge with energy. Then he sensed Ginny's guilt, embarrassment, and fear just waiting for Harry to lash out at her. Harry experienced another wave of nausea sweep through him...he had made things worse. He had made Ginny's life worse. Then Ginny was running aimlessly for a few minutes toward class before she once again was yanked somewhere she did not wish to go. This time the Slytherin boys surrounded her. They accused her of sleeping with Snape and Blinker. How she posed as the innocent virgin for her brothers when she was nothing but a whore. Then the threats came and they weren't veiled. She had been slapped a couple times before Harry arrived.
And yet she refused to cry. At this thought Harry began to recognize the voice whispering. None of the other things that were said could be heard, but the voice that told her not to cry was audible.
"Who is that?" Harry whispered. "Who keeps saying that?"
"You know Harry," Ginny replied deeply...mysteriously. "It's the same voice in your head when you vow revenge or death or pain. Its his voice Harry."
Harry gasped, "That's not true."
"Yes it is." Ginny was quiet, "Think about my thoughts in Dumbledore's office. I wasn't speaking to Ron, was I?"
"This is why, isn't it? All the pain is yours, but this we share?"
"Yes," Ginny said pitifully.
Harry's journey wasn't over...but now things were happening he knew nothing about- Ginny looking into the fire and seeing Tom Riddle. Ginny putting herself to sleep so she couldn't chose to let him in. Soon he saw his own arrival and their fight. She really didn't see him as a friend at that point. Harry could feel her hope that he truly did consider her a friend. Only when he made his pledge to her did Ginny feel some lasting peace and safety.
But then there were the nightmares...the horrible nightmares about any and all guys that showed an interest in Ginny. In her mind she was violated by so many men in so many ways...but always Tom Riddle was there is some capacity. Ginny was battling that demon almost constantly and she never said a word.
Tom's presence was worst when her nightmares centered on Harry. Harry would realize Tom Riddle still had a part of her and then Harry would reject her...over and over it happened...till the night Harry found out about dreams- the night on the sofa in the common room. The night that she woke time and time again and he was always holding her close like she was the most precious thing in the world. The night he told her he loved her in all honesty and truth. All she had to do was close her eyes and remember the look on Harry's face when he told her he loved her and the darkness was beaten back for another night. Tom had one more field he was beaten at because of Harry Potter.
Harry's eyes fluttered attempting to make it all the way back to reality. His head hurt, his body ached, and he still couldn't see properly. He had apparently slid from the chair to the floor and his glasses were missing. Oddly enough he was thankful the floor was cool against his aching head.
"Ginny?" he called out.
"Now you know," her voice said from far off. "And I don't require your services anymore Mr. Potter. Thank you for helping me through my trauma. I will always be grateful," she said far too polite and distant...final. It sounded final.
Harry pushed himself up by the arm and groaned. "Ginny...please don't leave me here. Not like this...not now. Please Ginny!"
Ginny swallowed. She had been feeling vengeful when she requested Professor Snape's help with this punishment...no 're-enforced lesson' for Harry. Now seeing what she had done to him, how weak he was, how hurt he looked...she was almost ready to gather him in her arms and let them have a good cry together. Almost. He can't always run the show...deciding what is best.
Harry couldn't tell where in the room Ginny was but he knew she hadn't left yet. "It was wrong of me to ask the way I did, Gin. In all honesty I just wanted to be closer to you, to be your confidant the way you have been mine for so long, the person you relied on." There was no response.
"I said it badly. I never meant to imply I would leave you. You are the only thing in my life that's truly mine Gin. You see me not 'the boy who lived' or the 'great' Harry Potter. You see the screwed up teen that keeps putting his foot in his mouth with the person he cares for most."
There was no sound, but he knew she was listening. This was his last chance to get it right. "I need you Ginny...please don't leave now when this could be so good between us. I need you."
"You aren't angry with me," she said quietly.
It was then that Harry realized she had stolen his invisibility cloak to make her escape... that was why he couldn't see her. At least she's talking to me. "I got to live some of the most painful things I can recall... because they happened to you... I couldn't stop them."
He paused, "Now you know my childhood wasn't fun and you have never forced the point with me to tell you. I should have respected that." Harry began again, "You could have just blown me off, broken up with me entirely, but instead you did show me what you didn't want to talk about... I don't have the guts to do that... This was not easy for either of us, but it is not something I'm angry about."
Ginny appeared suddenly before Harry...his glasses in hand. "So I'm not in the dog house," she whispered kneeling beside him.
"As long as I'm not," he answered.
Harry stared at Ginny for a long moment wanting so badly to touch her, but not being sure if that was allowed at this point. "So..." he murmured.
"So..." she replied playing with her fingers.
He decided to treat this rather massive issue as a bump in the road. "So, that was our first fight as a couple." He looked at Ginny who was biting her lip and playing with her hair. "I think it went smashing. You?" Harry smirked.
Ginny chuckled at him, breathing more easily. I don't want to walk away from this. "You need to thank Snape. I was planning on making you a girl for a day...really pretty...so guys would be all over you...like a Veela. Professor Snape suggested this instead. He said something about returning the favor of sorts someday... I didn't ask, but it didn't sound like he meant it badly... So, anyway, thanks are in order."
"Tomorrow..." Harry murmured tracing his finger down Ginny's cheek marveling at her trust of him despite it all. "Tonight we have some making up to do," he whispered hotly giving her a few gentle kisses.
Ginny smiled and gave him a warm hug, holding him close. "You are special, ya know that?"
He smirked, "Well I should hope so. I'm the 'Property of Ginevra Weasley' after all."
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A/N: See...Wasn't that fun? No the ride is not over...just the major free fall is done. Please let me know about Harry's visions. Did it work? Was it too confusing?And once again with the subliminal messages- I will REVIEW and give Joy the feedback she needs to improve her writing. I will REVIEW and give Joy the feedback she needs to improve her writing.