Disclaimer - Don't own PotC. Never have, never will. As for Captain Jack...well, who knows what the future holds? ;-)

Also don't own The Darkness no 1 band ever! or Doritos.

Chapter 2 - An Interesting Story and the Importance of Doritos

1750

Tara blinked at the brightness of the sun. She couldn't comprehend what had just happened. One minute, she was in miserable old England, the rain pouring down as she watched TV, and the next...well, it seemed as though she was on a Caribbean island!

Instead of pondering the situation, she decided to make the most of her time by exploring the town where she had arrived. As nice as the beach was, she didn't want to waste the time she had sunbathing; after all, she might be dreaming and could wake up at any minute. And she didn't want to wake after a boring dream.

An old, rotten sign hung at the entrance to the town. The words Welcome to Tortuga were inscribed on it. Tara shivered, despite the heat. It couldn't be...could it?

Her question was answered immediately as a woman in a long, pale yellow frock tottered past her, calling "Caroline? Caroline! Where are you? Stop scaring us!"

The other citizens of the town were also dressed in similar 18th century clothing, meaning Tara had either gone back in time, or been transported to a world she had only seen on DVD.

"No point worrying about it. It's probably just a dream anyway. I may as well have some fun while I'm here!" She thought to herself as she headed towards the pub, not noticing the strange looks she was receiving.

"What the HELL are you wearing, woman?!" The barkeep yelled hysterically as she approached the bar. Tara froze. What was wrong? Then she realized everyone was looking down...at her clothes. Ah. She struggled not to laugh as she realized she was still wearing her shirt with The Darkness on it and a pair of extremely baggy jeans.

"Oh. That." It hit her that these people might be into burning strange people who looked like they were witches or something else ghastly. Her dark red dyed hair certainly wouldn't help her defense.

"Well, uh, that is a very interesting story." There was no chance of her being able to tell the truth and be thought of as sane, so she decided to spin a few lies to help her out a little.

Ten minutes later, she had gained an audience who believed that she had been kidnapped by pirates, had her clothes stolen and replaced with her current attire, which were to satisfy the strange fetish the Captain had. Luckily, just before he was about to have his filthy way, she managed to knock him out and escape into the ocean. From there she had to struggle for miles to get to shore alive, with no food or fresh water to sustain her energy. Somehow she had ended up on the Island of Tortuga, which she had decided to call the Blessed Island. Everyone was captivated.

"Hey," One man shouted across the room. "Which Captain was it, love?"

"Uh..." Tara gulped. She hadn't expected questions. "It was, err, t'was Captain Sparrow!"

Every single person gasped. Some looked completely shocked, others had to struggle to hide their cheeky grin at the memories of how the Captain had said just a few months before, "I always get exactly what I want, an' I don't give a damn how I get it." Everyone agreed that she deserved some sort of reward for her story, and she was flooded with people asking if she would like some of their old clothes, some money, a place to stay, or even just a pint of beer.

Well, they were offers she simply couldn't refuse.

2004

"Hey, you ok?"

Caroline opened one eye. Standing above her was a man about her own age with a worried expression on his attractive face. She blinked before looking around her. She had no idea where she was, but if it was something to do with that wish it had certainly come true; this place seemed to be a completely different world to the one she was used to. Lights were everywhere, glowing millions of different colours, especially on a strange box-like object in the corner. The smell of the sea air had been replaced with a tangy cheese scent, appearing to come from a small, shiny bag with the word DORITOS on. Caroline had no idea what it meant but it did smell appetizing. The man, or rather, boy, proceeded to take a handful of triangular shapes out of the bag and eat them, making a loud crunching noise as he did.

"So, uh, how'd you get here?"

Caroline stared at the crisps as she spoke. "I'm not quite sure. I made a wish and I ended up here. Just out of curiosity...where am I, exactly?"

Matt grinned. "You are in Lambeth, London, England, the United Kingdom, Europe, Earth, The Universe!" He said loudly, hoping to make her laugh. However, she only looked frustrated, clenching her fists and tears welling up in her eyes.

"So I've ended up in London after all? Oh, but I shall have to ride in a carriage and make friends with those snobs and...and..."

"Yo, hold up! Ride in carriages? I take it you ain't talkin' 'bout trains?"

Caroline shook her head, not understanding a word he had just said.

"Well, you're in the 21st century now, which means there are no carriages or corsets or pirates or any of those things. You have a lot to learn..."

...And so Matt began to explain the basic changes between 2004 and 1750, including electricity, cars, television, football and, most importantly, Doritos.

It was going to be a long night.

AN - Ok, I didn't put any British-isms in this chapter but for those that don't know, Lambeth is one of the boroughs in South London. And since I'm not sure just how popular The Darkness are in the US, they are a British band from a place called Lowestoft in England and there music is similar to Queen. :-)

Please R&R so I can tell exactly how many people are reading this. Constructive criticism welcomed!