Unpredictable
Epilogue:
The sun was shining down upon them, despite the mellow and somewhat distant feeling that was drifting in the air. Quatre stared out across the ocean as the cruise ship came to the dock. He saw another large group of people waiting for their own chance at exploring the wonders of the cruise. Hopefully, no one wanting to salvage the ship would be onboard this time. Quatre sighed and leaned his arms on the railing at the front of the ship, waiting until it was said they could climb down.
The last day had been rather uneventful, besides packing up the few things they brought. He and Duo had gone down to the buffet area to see Trowa and Heero gathering food quietly together. It was as if they were sharing their feelings without words. He remembered watching them, feeling his heart race and ache with the fact that he could never know what lay deep inside either of them unless they were completely willing to let it out. He had backed away, hurt written on his features and went to the salad bar instead, telling Duo he wasn't very hungry.
Duo hadn't questioned him and Quatre wasn't sure if that meant he knew he was upset and needed his own space, or if he was just going along with it. Either way, Quatre found himself standing by himself on the front of the ship surrounded by strangers who were also looking across the ocean as some men in uniform were waving the ship to the dock. It wasn't that he was bothered by being by himself to think about things, but it was that most everyone around him was standing in couples either hugging or kissing. Although he was extremely disappointed that Trowa hadn't even opted to stay longer with him before returning to the circus, he still longed to feel his comforting arms around him. And although he didn't want Trowa to leave, since neither knew how long he'd be gone, he had still called Rashid moments earlier to have him pick them up so they wouldn't have to pay for, or wait for, a shuttle to get back.
Sighing heavily, he watched as rope was thrown so that the ship could stay docked. It was nearing time when they'd have to leave the ship and go back to the resort and spa hotel. He would've been happy and excited to know he would be returning to the suite he and Trowa shared for another four days before Rashid picked them up, had he not realized Trowa would be going back to the circus for sure and there was no exact time when he'd see him again. Sure, Quatre knew he could ask for a phone number, or a way to contact him to keep in touch, but when would he see him again? Would they still be able to date? Quatre knew he'd have much more time on his hands since he'd be returning without a job, until he found a part time one he enjoyed, but what about Trowa? What if he was too busy performing to be able to keep in touch, let alone see him?
The questions haunted him and he couldn't bring himself to ask Trowa. In fact, Quatre couldn't even bring himself to face him. He had been standing outside for at least a half hour, if not longer, trying to calm himself by thinking that even if Trowa had to stay away for a while it was unlikely he would meet someone else, girl or boy. Quatre still didn't know if Trowa could possibly be attracted to women. It was that he was just inexperienced in general from having been going off on missions and not even opening his heart to any emotions, including the pain of war. And that meant that Trowa was now open to more opportunities.
Why am I thinking this way? Trowa knows how much I care for him. He wouldn't have let our relationship progress at all if he felt he wouldn't stay with me. Even if we're distanced for a little while, he'll still come back…I know it.
His thoughts were drifting again, until he heard footsteps behind him. A warm arm wrapped around his shoulders and his heart skipped a beat. He turned and met the gaze of violet eyes.
"Hi Duo," Quatre said, the spark from his eyes fading.
Duo rose his eyebrows, "Well gee, Quat, you don't have to hold in your excitement in seeing me."
Quatre smiled weakly as Duo winked.
"You thought it was Trowa? You know, you shouldn't worry so much. They'll be back before you know it. I bet they just need to get some things and make permanent arrangements."
"So, Heero's leaving too then?" Quatre asked, staring up at him.
Duo nodded, putting his free hand through his hair, "Yeah, he is. We spoke a bit while you were out here. He told me the plan was that Trowa and Heero would take the private shuttle together, the one you're setting up for them, before taking off in their own directions. I tried to get him to tell me how long he thinks he'll be gone, but he just told me he'll let me know when he's sure."
Quatre's eyes dimmed, "So what should we do?"
"Don't try and stop them," Duo said, looking down at him with a warm expression while tightening his grip on him. "We have to show them that we're strong, not clingy, and that we'll wait for them. I think that's the best way."
"But what if it takes months, or even a year before we see them again!" Quatre asked desperately, grabbing his arm. "Or…what if we don't see them again?" he added softly, eyes lowering to the ground.
He felt Duo turn him around before pulling him into a tight embrace. Duo's hands moved slowly through his hair in a caring gesture.
"Don't think like that," Duo whispered softly into his ear. "I know it seems like a bad ending to have them leave, but if you think about it we're the first people to ever get this close to them. They've never shared anything like what they have with us with anyone else. And there's no reason why they wouldn't come back to us. We should be patient."
"But Duo…," Quatre trailed off, his heart aching at knowing he was right.
Duo's lips curled into a smile as he pulled back a little to stare down at him, "Then again, that doesn't mean we can't keep a close eye on them, right? We'll make sure they don't stay away too long, and if they do we'll go to them."
For the second time that day, Quatre smiled brightly, understanding what Duo meant. There was no way he was going to let Heero go either. They would wait, holding onto the hope that they would see them soon and if soon didn't come they could always track them down.
Smiling, Quatre nodded, "All right. It's a deal then."
"Good," Duo smiled back, winking. "Now, promise me you'll try and have a good time with the remaining days we have left."
With a slight roll of his eyes, Quatre looked at him, "Fine, I promise."
Duo smiled and bent down to kiss his forehead. After another brief embrace, they pulled apart and waited for the passengers to begin descending the stairs to the dock. The same announcement that was made to them before getting on the ship was then presented to those waiting for their turn. Afterward, they began following the other passengers off of the ship.
Quatre turned to glance behind them, "Shouldn't we wait for them?"
Duo smiled and shook his head, "I told them we'd meet them at the hotel for lunch, at the bar."
"The bar?" Quatre rose his eyebrows.
"Well, I think after an experience like we had we might need a new atmosphere. At the bar you don't have to wait to be seated and you can order whenever you want and just sit there and talk. Right now I think it's best if we try and put all the loose ends together before they leave."
"Duo…I know…we made a deal and all, but I just can't…I can't let him go," Quatre said softly, bowing his head a bit to stare at the floor as they made their way toward the beach, pushing through the crowds of people waiting to get on the cruise ship.
"I know, Quat. I'm attached to Heero too, but at the same time we need to respect their space. Maybe they're not ready for a permanent relationship, or any kind of commitment. If we don't give them space they may decide that it won't work out."
Quatre looked up at him surprised, not having thought that there was a chance he could actually scare Trowa away by wanting to be close. It was true that their shells had been broken, but they still weren't used to relationships.
"I just hope that we can still see them even while they're tying up loose ends," Quatre smiled weakly. "I'm actually curious to see how Trowa performs at the circus."
Duo grinned, "Well he's certainly got great form, I'm sure he takes the spot light."
Quatre smiled up at him, "Yes, I bet he does."
"Come on, let's go find a spot in the bar to save for them."
They walked inside the hotel and made their way toward the bar, which was only a floor up from the restaurant. It wasn't that crowded so they had plenty of space to choose from. They sat up at the counters on the high stools and both ordered sodas while they waited.
"I hope they're all right," Quatre said, after taking a couple sips. "It's been about twenty minutes now."
"Don't worry so much," Duo smiled. "They'll get here."
Quatre turned to face him, "Do you want to split up or stay together?"
"That depends on what you want," Duo answered.
"We can sit together at the counter," Quatre smiled.
Duo nodded and patted his back, "Sounds good to me."
They sat comfortably with each other, waiting until the other two arrived. Quatre was beginning to worry after another fifteen minutes passed. He looked around anxiously, hoping that Trowa wasn't afraid of upsetting him. Another soda was placed in front of him, his third one in the half and hour that they sat waiting. Duo was also getting fretful, for he was on his fifth soda.
"Maybe they're not coming," Quatre whispered, his eyes lowering to the table.
Duo didn't answer and Quatre was afraid if he looked at him he wouldn't be able to hold back his tears. He glanced up at his friend, wondering why he seemed so quiet. Duo's face didn't seem the least bit worried or stressed, in fact, he was smiling. Quatre blinked, momentarily stunned until he heard someone approach behind him. He turned around to find Heero and Trowa standing side by side. It seemed that they had changed clothes and were dressed in their usual outfits. Heero had on jeans and a green tank top and Trowa had on jeans and a black t-shirt. Perhaps it was only Quatre's imagination, but the t-shirt seemed to cling to him very nicely.
"Where were you two?" Duo asked, glancing at Trowa before narrowing his eyes playfully to Heero.
"We were changing," Heero answered. "Did you wait long?"
The question seemed like he was trying to make it up to them for having taken so long, but Quatre could sense a double meaning behind it. Perhaps they weren't just changing…but then what else were they doing? Quatre could feel his heart pounding as he turned to stare at Trowa. They locked eyes and at once Quatre knew, by the distant look hiding like a shadow behind his eyes, that there was something that he, and Duo, didn't know. Heero's eyes told him the same thing.
He realized he had been staring at Trowa for some time, wordlessly. Clearing his throat and hiding his suspicions away, Quatre plastered on a small smile. He was grateful to see Trowa, but at the same time was upset that Trowa hadn't told him everything yet. He knew Duo would say to give him some time, so that was the only thing he could do.
"Would you like to sit down?" Quatre asked, gesturing to the seat beside him.
"Sure," Trowa answered gently, sitting down.
Heero moved to sit next to Duo and Quatre made sure to put all his worries behind so they could have a good ending to the vacation.
"Trowa," Quatre said, gently leaning closer, "I called Rashid so that he could take us home, instead of having to pay for a shuttle to leave here. He said he'd bring two helicopters, one for you and Heero and one for me and Duo."
Trowa nodded, "Thank you, Quatre. It means a lot to both of us."
Quatre forced a smile, "You're welcome. But…you will keep in touch, won't you?"
Trowa nodded again, taking a sip of his drink, "Yes, there is a phone there in the manager's office. I'm sure he'd let me use it occasionally."
His heart was still aching, but Quatre managed to smile weakly in return. The word occasionally made him shiver. Just how busy would Trowa be with the circus? Perhaps he could call there some time and ask for Catherine and find out Trowa's work schedule. The idea made him feel slightly better.
"So, does Catherine know when to expect you?"
Trowa nodded, "Yes, I called her all ready. She said that a supervisor for another major entertainment company is coming to watch the show."
"Oh good, so you'll be in time for that," Quatre smiled wistfully. As he watched Trowa, an idea struck him. He moved closer, "I'm sure you steal the show."
Trowa closed his eyes, still not used to compliments, but his lips curled ever-so-slightly into a smile.
"I really don't have that big of a part. Cathy has several acts so she deserves most of the credit."
Quatre's eyes narrowed, but he kept his smile in place, "Well, I'd still like to see you perform sometime."
Trowa glanced up at him and nodded, "It might be full with the show coming up in a week, but I will tell Cathy you want to come. She might be able to save a seat for you."
Quatre nodded, smiling widely. He could tell Trowa was trying to make him feel better by promising to keep in touch and save a spot in the next show. However, he didn't say it was going to be the show after the one coming up, in fact, he didn't specify, which made Quatre's mind begin to turn. He was beginning to sense something, but his feelings would only be proved in time.
They all sat together, talking occasionally. Duo was the one who mostly kept the conversations going, and Quatre helped as best as he could. It was strange that all of a sudden, within the small amount of time that Trowa and Heero had went together to the buffet on the ship, that they seemed unusually quiet again. Quatre wondered it perhaps it was from whatever they were hiding. His curiosity only peaked more, but there was nothing he could do, at least at the moment. He would take Duo's advice and keep a close eye on Trowa, with help from Rashid and his faithful men of course. There was no way he was going to lose Trowa. He wasn't sure what was holding Trowa back from commitment, but whatever it was Quatre would fight it with all his being.
After some time at the bar, Duo suggested taking a dip in the pool since he hadn't gotten a chance. Heero said he had some things to do back in their room and from Duo's slightly narrowed eyes it seemed he had a suspicion of what Heero was up to, or at least an idea. Trowa said he would be down in a bit, so Quatre and Duo headed off on their own.
"Can you believe them? We only have a few days left with them and we're trying to show them that we can handle them leaving for some time, and yet they still don't want to spend much time with us!" Duo ranted, which he had been doing since the four of them had split up.
Quatre nodded, "I found it odd that they seemed distant and quiet again."
"Yeah, Heero was like that this morning, but it definitely showed after the two of them went down to the buffet together. They must've talked about something or something must've happened for them to suddenly close up again!"
Quatre glanced up at his friend, "I have a feeling they're hiding something from us."
Duo turned to him, his expression unreadable, "What exactly could they be hiding? And why?"
"I don't know," Quatre shrugged lightly. "But I'm going to talk to Rashid when he picks us up. I'm going to tell him to send out some guys to keep an eye on Trowa and Heero, so that they always know where they are and what they're doing."
"Good idea, Quat," Duo grinned. "If they are hiding something, we're going to find it out and confront them when the time is right."
Quatre smiled up at him, his eyes brightening, "Yes, we will. And we'll prove to them we can handle it."
"My words exactly," Duo said, slinging an arm around him.
The pool wasn't as crowded as either of them suspected. A few people here and there but they were able to find a nice large space to just wade in the water and talk. Their talk began with Heero and Trowa again, but managed to slip away into plans for when they got back, now that Quatre was only going to have a part time job.
"We need to see Hilde right away to let her know everything. She'll be so shocked to hear that we've both picked up some hot guys, huh?"
A blonde eyebrow rose gracefully in response, "So…does Hilde know you're interested in guys?"
Duo scrunched up his face in thought, "Well…I told her I was open to both options. I've had several dates with both sexes, but looking at Heero I find he's perfect. And just like in your case, it's not because he's a guy but rather because I admire his strength, his very nicely toned body, and his intelligence. I wasn't very keen to his personality in the beginning but I can help bring out the best in him," he grinned with a wink.
Quatre laughed lightly, "I agree with that. And you know she'll want to have pictures of them."
"I think it'd be better for her to see them in person," Duo grinned widely. "Just to make her jealous of course."
Quatre shook his head, smiling brightly at him as he leaned his head on his arms, resting on the side of the pool.
"So, what do you think we should do the last day we're here? I know it's not coming up for another few days, but I was thinking maybe we could plan something special," Quatre said, biting his lip.
"Sure! It'll liven things up a bit," Duo grinned. "I think we're all pretty much dreading the end of this vacation. What did you have in mind?"
"I don't know, maybe we could all have dinner at night on the beach and watch the stars."
"Sounds romantic. Are you thinking of just looking up at the stars with Trowa?"
Quatre blushed, "Well…I…I want to hang out with you and Heero too!"
Duo waved a hand in front of him, "Don't worry about it. I'd like to talk to Heero alone too. Besides, you and I will have plenty of time to hang out when we get back to L4. In fact, I think tonight I'll give Hilde a call and tell her I'll be spending the night at your house for a week after we get back."
"A whole week?" Quatre blinked up at him. "How come? Not that I mind of course!"
Duo grinned and wrapped his arms around him, despite being in a pool, and held him close.
"Look, I know you're going to be hurting a lot after we separate from them, so I just want to be there for you. We can stick together and talk about it while Rashid makes sure to stalk them so we know they're not doing anything naughty," Duo smiled.
"N-naughty?" Quatre asked quietly, his eyes widening.
Duo laughed in response, "Not that kind of naughty. I should hope they wouldn't do that. I meant sneaking off to somewhere else than they said they'd be. Or maybe spying on them will help us figure out what they're up to, if anything."
Quatre opened his mouth to tell Duo that he really didn't need to do that for him, but found that nothing came out. He could feel his heart aching all ready, knowing that he would be separated from Trowa for a while. He wrapped his arms around Duo tightly.
"I'd appreciate that Duo."
"Of course, what are friends for?" Duo winked, kissing his forehead. "Now, let's plan out the evening of the last day. I recommend trying to keep his clothes off as long as possible, because you won't be seeing him for some time."
"Duo!" Quatre blushed, looking around to make sure no one heard. "Keep it down! And what makes you think we'd hav…make love again? We only did it just the other night! He's going to think I'm sex-crazed!" he exclaimed in a hushed tone.
"Come on, Quatre, imagine not being able to see or touch him for a couple weeks or even a month or so. You've got to take that into consideration."
"But Duo…he may not want to do that so soon again. I think the reason he did it before was because we had done it before, and he knew I wanted reassurance that it was what we wanted," Quatre said, looking down at the water since he couldn't meet his eyes.
"Well, all I know is, if I don't get to have sex with Heero this time around, the next time I see him he's going to be spending the entire day without clothes on."
Quatre blushed, knowing that they were receiving some looks. He wasn't sure if they had heard the entire thing, but it was common for people to look when the word sex was mentioned. And Quatre wasn't sure about the way the small cluster of girls were looking at them. They were giggling and whispering to one another, sitting outside of the pool with bikinis on. He didn't understand why some girls bought swim suits like that and never even went in the water. He'd once asked his sisters that, but they just smiled and said some girls were like that. Why they had chosen to go outside was beyond him. He would've been happy with the inside pool too.
"What are you looking at?"
Quatre turned to him and blinked, "Huh? Oh nothing. I just…well, those girls keep staring at us."
Duo turned his head subtly to stare at them from the corner of his eye. His eyebrows rose but he just turned and smiled.
"Don't worry about it. Girls these days are incredibly flirtatious. Just don't tell Hilde I said that or she might kill me."
Quatre nodded with a smile, "I won't tell on you, don't worry. I know Hilde would give you no mercy."
Duo glared playfully, "Thanks Quat. Now how about we go enjoy the luxury of our rooms and order room service. I'm sure that whatever Heero and Trowa are doing they'll eventually find us there."
"I'd love that, Duo," Quatre smiled as they stepped out of the pool.
Unfortunately, the only way to get back into the hotel had to be past the girls sitting and tanning under the sun. Quatre glanced out of the corner of his eye and saw one of the girls, with particularly long blonde hair, darker than Quatre's, and crystal blue eyes, was staring at him with…interest. As if she was challenging him wordlessly to come and talk to her. The small smile on her face made it seem like she was teasing him. Then Duo turned to face Quatre, wondering why he had slowed down. The girl caught sight of Duo and her eyes widened, the coy smile disappearing as she slipped on sunglasses and attempted to look elsewhere. Quatre had the feeling she must've known Duo, or had met him, and it didn't seem like things had went well.
The two of them finally climbed the stairs toward their suite. Duo followed Quatre to his suite, having a feeling that Heero was typing on his laptop. They entered into the suite and Duo lay down on the bed.
"He's always on that thing," Duo said. "Did I tell you what I found?"
Quatre turned and seated himself on the bed, "No, what?"
"I found all his mission files, in this," he said, slipping off his shoe and holding up the microchip for Quatre to see.
"What is that?" Quatre asked, taking it from him to study it.
"It's some kind of chip that holds data on it. It holds hundreds of files of old missions that they had. I found out his last name is Yuy. Heero Yuy. And the funny thing was that in one of the files there was a note addressed to him about Oz having been defeated, which happened recently a few years ago. And some other things, but it wasn't dated."
"It was probably an old letter from when he was a soldier," Quatre said. "I mean, they aren't involved in huge battles like the one against Oz. That happened so long ago, and besides, they were here on a mission to stop poaches. That's hardly anything like the lunatics in Oz."
Duo sighed, "Still, I'd like to know what they're keeping from us."
"We'll just have to wait and see what happens. In the meantime, let's order some dinner."
XXXXXXX
The days passed by quickly and soon it was the last day of their vacation. Quatre knew he was getting distraught, but he managed to hold his composure. Heero and Trowa had been together most of the time, disappearing to go off on their own errands, sometimes together and sometimes alone, so Duo and Quatre spent most of their time together. However, on the last day it was set up so that they'd all meet for dinner at another fancy restaurant across from the bar. It was a late dinner, and afterward Quatre and Duo would drag Heero and Trowa toward the beach and end up going off in their separate directions. It was imperative that they each tried to end the last night of vacation as best as possible, and that meant trying to figure out what was hiding beneath the calm masks that they wore, or at least for Quatre to know when he'd be seeing Trowa again.
Duo and Quatre came down from their suites together, having arrived earlier than the time they had told Trowa and Heero. Quatre hadn't seen Trowa all that day since he had been with Heero. The two of them seemed to be getting together more often and kept becoming more distant with Quatre and Duo. Still, he was determined to try and get Trowa to open up to him, if not to give him all the answers then just to reassure him that they'd see each other again soon.
"I hope they come soon," Quatre said, fiddling with his napkin.
"Don't worry so much, they haven't been spending much time with us so they owe us. Oh, look! Perfect timing, here they come," Duo said quickly, sitting back in his seat.
Heero and Trowa approached, looking calm and reserved. Quatre got up to let Trowa on the inside, but Duo instead slid into the seat so Heero was on the outside, which had been the plan all along. Duo figured that if Heero and Trowa weren't across from each other then they were less tempted to speak to one another, even if it was just wordless staring, as Duo had put it.
"Can you believe this is the last night?" Duo asked aloud, trying to strike up a conversation. "It passed by so quickly."
Quatre nodded in agreement, "Yes, it did."
Duo shared a look of concern with Quatre when neither Trowa or Heero responded. Duo took another approach and stared back and forth between the two of them.
"Is something wrong? You two seem extremely distant and quiet," Duo said.
Heero turned toward him, his arms folded across his chest, "Nothing is wrong."
"Then why aren't you two talking? You were doing fine a couple days ago, now you're back to how we met you," Duo said firmly.
Heero closed his eyes, "This is how we are, Duo. There's not anything to talk about."
Instead of answering with a smart comment, Duo just sat in silence, inwardly fuming. His hands were clenched but he managed to keep his emotions hidden. He knew that wasn't true. He had seen the real Heero underneath the mask and knew that he wasn't an emotionless soldier. Heero was either in denial, or something else was bothering him to have closed up again. Duo was sure this time he couldn't get in, at least not the same way. Hopefully in time he'd figure something out to get to Heero, maybe by giving him a couple weeks to himself before asking Rashid to track him down so he could confront him.
Duo glanced at Quatre who immediately felt the anger and hurt radiating off him. His eyes dimmed as he turned toward Trowa who was staring out the window in silence. He also knew that something was wrong, and he could feel Duo's anger at how they had closed up again. It wasn't true that they were cold and emotionless, Quatre and Duo knew the truth at least. They had experienced a touch of the real person beneath the masks that were worn for protection. He could also see frustration in Duo's eyes when he stared at him. He could see that Duo knew they wouldn't be able to break open their shells again using the same tactics. Heero and Trowa were trained too good to have the same tactic used against them. This time it had to be something to break the shell completely otherwise there was no hope of having a life with them.
The rest of the dinner was met with silence as the food was brought. They all ate in silence, though Quatre's mind was swirling with doubts, concerns and ideas of how to reach Trowa. He felt so lost and knew that Duo felt the same way. The only way to know for sure was to give it time, to let Heero and Trowa go their separate ways and see if things changed. At least he knew they'd be safe with Rashid's men watching them in secret. That was the only thing they could do for the time being.
After the dishes were taken away, Duo stood up and turned to look at Heero and Trowa.
"If you two don't mind, we were thinking of taking a walk on the beach."
Heero closed his eyes, "I have something to do."
Duo was silent for a minute, "So that's it? This is our last night together for who knows how long, and you want to spend another night with that laptop of yours?"
Quatre could feel Duo's anger increase to rage. He was trying to hide his sadness with anger in order to protect himself. He didn't want the night to end in a fight, and that's what it was turning out to be. He had to think of something.
"Duo, if they don't want to come we can't make them," Quatre said and Duo turned and gave him a look of surprise and hurt. "This vacation might not be important to them as it is to us."
He was hoping the guilt method would work. Heero seemed to fix his gaze on him but for some reason Quatre couldn't read into it. Feeling a bit shaky, Quatre stood up.
"Come on, Duo. We'll go out on the beach together."
Duo opened his mouth to retort, but then realized what Quatre was doing and nodded slowly. He walked beside Quatre as they went through the fancy double doors leading to the beach. The stars were beginning to come out as the sun was now too low in the horizon to see. Duo sighed as the warm breeze washed over him.
"You think that will work?"
Quatre shrugged, "Only time will tell. If we mean anything to them at all they'll at least come out here."
Duo nodded but didn't reply. They both stared up at the stars, lost in thought. Quatre felt his heart pounding, hoping that Trowa didn't close himself up so entirely that it would have to end like that. He didn't want to be left with the feeling that perhaps Trowa had slipped in opening himself up to Quatre but wouldn't allow himself to open up again. If that happened, Quatre would never be able to feel the warmth of his embrace or the intimacy of his kiss. He could feel tears begin to well up in his eyes. He wouldn't allow himself to break down now, at least not yet. He had to remain strong, if he believed there was any chance he could be with Trowa.
Barely noticeable, footsteps sounded behind them. Quatre took a sharp breath and managed to calm his emotions before turning. Duo turned shortly after and glanced at Heero before turning and walking along the beach in the opposite direction. Heero and Trowa approached and Quatre remained where he was. He stared deeply at Heero who glanced at him before following a distance behind Duo. Quatre couldn't bring himself to lock gazes with Trowa so instead he focused on the stars above them.
"The helicopter comes early in the morning," Quatre said quietly, almost too quiet. "Rashid said he can drop you and Heero off at your separate destinations."
There was no reply behind him and Quatre bit his lip, hoping that he wasn't going off on a limb. He turned around slowly and saw that Trowa was staring at him silently. Holding back his emotions, he stared back as calmly as it was possible for him.
"If you want…," he hesitated. "If you and Heero have something to do tonight, you can stay with him."
Trowa was silent for a moment and Quatre was afraid he wasn't going to speak at all.
"We discussed everything all ready," Trowa said quietly.
Quatre blinked, surprised and relieved, "Oh. Well, I can call the main office and ask for a wake up call. Rashid said he'd be there around six thirty in the morning."
"That's not necessary," he answered calmly.
Quatre nodded and cast his eyes to the ground. After a minute he looked back up, meeting Trowa's gaze.
"I…were you being honest with me," Quatre licked his dry lips, "about keeping in touch, or were you just saying that to…make me feel better?" he glanced up at Trowa but didn't really give him the opportunity to respond. "I know I'm sensitive Trowa, but you really needn't pretend or hide anything from me. I value honesty above everything."
Quatre met his gaze again and saw that Trowa's expression hadn't changed. His heart was aching again and he could feel his emotions rising. He couldn't stare into the striking green eyes any longer without breaking down. He turned around so he had his back to him and stared across at the ocean, holding back his tears.
"I understand," he whispered in a somewhat shaky voice.
His vision was blurry as tears began building up. He knew any minute it would all come pouring out and he wouldn't be able to stop it. His heart was pounding inside him until that was all he could hear. It hurt so much that Trowa didn't respond to him at all, that it seemed to not matter to him. He couldn't get past the mask to see what was wrong with him, or if perhaps this was how he really was. Being blinded by his internal pain, Quatre didn't hear anything until he felt a warm hand on his shoulder. He stiffened involuntarily and his head rose, although he didn't turn around right away. He was momentarily stunned and suddenly he realized he had wanted Trowa to do something and he wasn't just going to stand there and do nothing.
Slowly, he turned around to face him. Luckily his tears hadn't fallen so his face left no mark of sadness, except in his expression. Trowa's eyes at first glance appeared to soften greatly and stare at him with a look of friendship and concern, but then it was gone when he blinked. Trowa's hand remained on his shoulder as the green eyes stared down at him gently.
"I didn't lie to you," Trowa said quietly.
Quatre's lip trembled but he managed to smile up at him weakly before throwing his arms around him. He wanted to cry with joy, or even sadness, but instead he opted to close his eyes and lean into the comforting embrace before him.
Across the beach a distance away, Duo had stopped walking, hearing Heero approach behind him. For a few minutes neither spoke, until Duo finally turned around to face him.
"What's going on Heero?" he asked firmly. "Why are you acting this way?"
"I told you," he answered quietly.
"No, Heero! That's a lie and you know it! I've seen the real you and this isn't it! Doesn't spending time together mean anything to you?" Duo asked angrily.
Heero stared at him unblinking, "Duo, I warned you about me. And you still wanted to go through it."
"Yes, I wanted to go through it because I saw the person behind the mask you wear, Heero. And I want to know what happened to him!" Duo exclaimed, clenching his fists in frustration.
Heero turned away for a moment, "He's gone. He's been gone for a long time."
"And what's that supposed to mean?" Duo asked, his eyes narrowing.
Heero turned back to him, "Just what I said."
Duo stood silently, fighting his emotions. He was upset, but he wouldn't let that show to Heero. The last thing he would do was cry in front of him. Instead he battled internally what he should say. He didn't want it to end like this, even if they were going to see each other again in the near future.
"So, does that mean you lied to me?" Duo asked quietly, staring at the ground. "Was all of this a lie then? Are we not friends? Are we not more than friends? Tell me Heero!"
Heero stared at him silently but didn't answer. Duo was so close to strangling him now that he didn't care what happened. The fact that Heero could stand before him and pretend like nothing mattered made him feel rejected. Slowly, he turned around, heading back in the direction from where they came.
"It wasn't a lie," Heero answered quietly from behind him.
Duo turned, his heart racing as he stared into the deep blue eyes that had captured him upon the first meeting.
"You have to understand that friendship and relationships can interfere with emotions; they can be a distraction."
"What's that supposed to mean, Heero?"
Heero closed his eyes momentarily before opening them and crossing his arms across his chest.
"The vacation was fun, but it has to end. It's not reality," Heero said.
Duo stared at him, confused at what he could possibly mean, but instead focused on the little time they had left.
"So that's it? That's how you're going to say goodbye? I bet you weren't even thinking of keeping in touch were you? This was just a vacation…I'm only a part of that vacation. And now you can go off and forget anything ever happened, right?" Duo snapped.
Heero closed his eyes again, but this time when he opened his eyes Duo caught of flicker of something beneath their depths. He didn't understand what Heero was trying to say or what it all meant, but he knew this wasn't the Heero that he had grown to love. Or at least, the outside wasn't. He was protecting himself again, but for what reasons Duo didn't know. All he knew was that he wanted to find out.
"Will you at least let me know, somehow, that you're all right?" Duo asked quietly, his anger dying down.
Heero stared at him silently for a moment before nodding. Duo's heart seemed to lighten a bit, but also strengthen as he realized it would be a lot harder to open him up once again, but that there was still a chance. If he could do it before, he would find a way to do it again.
Duo held out his hand toward him and Heero glanced down at it, before slowly moving his hand to shake his. Duo shook it firmly before pulling Heero closer to him. Bending down, Duo brushed his cheek against Heero's as his mouth found his way to his ear.
"Till our next meeting," he whispered, and with ease he bent forward to place a kiss on Heero's cheek.
He pulled away and glanced at Heero once again before making his way back toward the hotel. Heero stood in the sand staring after him, and his eyes seemed to glisten against the light of the full moon.
XXXXXX
The bed shook a bit as Quatre bolted upright, perspiration covering his body. He took several deep breaths in order to calm himself down. He had had a horrible nightmare…about Trowa. Thinking of Trowa caused him to look at the other side of the bed. It was empty. He turned his head to face the clock and saw that it was nearing eight in the morning. As quickly as he had been scared, his emotions began to turn to distraught. He couldn't even think about going back home without Trowa, everything suddenly didn't feel the same. It was as if a piece was missing from his heart, but it was too late. Rashid had had a helicopter pick up both Trowa and Heero all ready.
He couldn't stop the tears from coming. He could only fold his legs up and wrap his arms around them, to let it all out. He had to cry, there was no use in keeping it bottled up. He felt his body shaking as he sobbed into his legs, but had no intention of stopping himself. He rose his head, tears streaming down his face as he stumbled to get the sheets off of him. He needed to see Duo; he needed some sort of comfort. He threw the sheets off of him, wiping at his eyes even when more tears fell, not caring about anything else.
His hand used the table next to the bed for leverage and he nearly fell backward. His hand had fallen on top of a piece of paper that had slipped through his grip. He caught himself before falling over on the bed and in his sadness and anger went to tear the piece of paper into shreds. His fingers clenched the paper painfully hard, but his heart suddenly skipped a few beats. His sobbing died down as his eyes were focused on what was on the slip of paper. There, lying neatly in pen, were seven numbers. Above the numbers the word circus was written in neat handprint. He sniffled and wiped at his eyes, staring at it closer to make sure he wasn't imagining things. He smiled weakly through his tear-streaked face and held the paper close to him.
After a few minutes he got dressed, folding the paper and putting it in his pocket. He walked over to Duo's suite, bringing his own suite room key with him to sign out at the front desk, and knocked on his door. When the door was opened, Duo was standing before him all dressed. Quatre understood entirely, without even looking into his eyes. He had woken up early as well because he couldn't sleep. The two of them silently made their way down to the lobby where donuts, muffins and bagels were being served free, along with coffee and orange juice. They ate a bit in silence, but neither had the appetite to eat much.
Half an hour later, they were standing outside on the beach waiting for Rashid to pick them up. They hadn't spoke much to each other for they knew the moment they got back they would be spending hours all through the night talking about their feelings and finding comfort in one another. They would probably also list the possibilities for the reasons why Trowa and Heero had acted the way they did the last day. It was all they could do, besides wait for a report on how they were doing. Rashid probably hadn't sent out a couple men to keep an eye out on Heero and Trowa yet, in case they got suspicious. He'd have to wait a few days, so until then they could only be patient.
Duo rose his hand to cover his face from the sun, "Is that him?"
Quatre looked up to see something in the sky a distance away and coming closer. It was barely noticeable, being since it was so far away, but he could all ready hear it approaching.
"Yes, it's Rashid," Quatre said gently.
Duo turned to him and didn't respond right away, but soon Quatre felt a warm arm around him.
"How about we go visit Hilde when we get back and tell her of our wondrous adventure?" he suggested, smiling at him.
Quatre smiled back up at him, "That sounds good."
"And don't worry, the moment Rashid's men get a good report they'll let us know how they're doing," he winked.
His smile widened and his eyes glistened the tiniest bit, "You're right, Duo."
Quatre glanced back up at the sky and watched as the helicopter came closer. Although his heart was still aching, he didn't feel any tears on the verge of coming down. It was because he knew he'd find comfort in his friends, but also he could feel something deep within him. It was growing stronger all ready. He wasn't going to cry anymore; he was going to be strong, because he knew there was still hope left, having felt the connection between him and Trowa, and Duo and Heero as well, and he wasn't going to give up.
The End
That's the end folks! I know it's not a complete happily-ever-after, but it's close enough. Sorry there's no sequel. You can just imagine what would happen the next time they see one another. There is a new GW story up now that I'm working oncalled: Eternal Love. Another story where our beautiful couples meet. Thanks!
To Reviewers:
Fiery-icicles: Thanks so much! - Hopefully the sequel will be even better, that's my goal anyway.
Ashen Skies: Don't worry, Relena plays a different role in my story. - She's the same whiny, clinging-to-Heero type of princess. You'll see. And I fixed that sentence you told me about too. Thanks for that! Wow, you nearly guessed it! In a way, Quatre and Duo WILL be the ones to rescue Trowa and Heero, but there's a slight twist to that part. Hopefully I will post it in a week!
MycaAwww, thanks! Yes, very true! Quatre and Trowa are very yummy, as are Duo and Heero. Hehehe! Unfortunately, you'll have to wait for the "making up" part in the sequel. - At least there's something to look forward to that you know about. Now that you've watched the entire series though you'll understand what's going on in the sequel. A lot will be different but I'll be using a lot more events and characters from the series. And yes, there is a reason Duo snuck into Heero's files…that will be revealed later. Don't worry, there's still a whole other story to go before deciding if it's a happily-ever-after ending. I will try and update my GW folder asap! And I will definitely try my best to get the sequel out in a week, k?
Mysterious double: You have the right idea about the sequel. It will include gundams, but that's all I'm saying. Yes, the lovey-dovey moments do happen frequently and can get repetitive. I'll definitely try not to do that in the sequel. There will still be romance in the sequel though, so be prepared for that! -
Sxybichic18: thanks, hehehe! And even in New York you need to check out my updates, k? And call me to let me know you made it there!