Disclaimer: Azrael, his hat, and anything else Kevin Smith belongs to him, not me. The devil, however, is my own work. He he. Enjoy, and please R&R.
Chapter 2: A Employee
Azrael groaned after he hit the floor with a thud. He was on his hands and knees, feeling as though he had been kicked in the stomach. It was so dark the demon counldn't have seen his own hand in front of him. But something partially white stood out. He grimaced as he pulled himself up, then recognized his hat.
he managed to exclaim irately, picking up his stained, trampled-upon hat. He tried to peer around, looking for any signs of someone else, but it was useless. He'd never been in this part of the underworld before, and something icy in the air was beginning to nip at him. Not at all like the comforts of central air.
He crouched slightly as if in defense against the rustling sound he heard. A hissing voice spoke from the darkness....
Ssooo.... You've got a caller....
Azrael regained enough of his wits to retort, Well isn't that friggin' dandy-
Silence! Have you absolutely no manners when it comes to your superiors?
The demon stood befuddled for a moment, until a figure emerged to accompany the voice, which had become quite less hissy, more prissy.
The scene became clearer. A soft ember-like glow gave light, emanating from the tall blond before him.
For Satan's-well, my sake- do not call me that mindless nickname'. Now, this could take a bit, have a seat, and the devil pushed Azrael to the floor with two fingers, sitting down himself on what appeared to be a ledge of thin air. The demon grimaced and made a mocking face, but stopped short with a glare from Lucifer. Either Azrael's eyes were adjusting, or the room lit up, because he could now see the desk Lucifer was on, upon which he tossed the stack of paperwork he'd been holding.
Where are we? And what are those? he asked with a hint of suspicion.
Oh, these? the devil pointed to the papers. Just a few mortals' tax returns. Either they or the IRS are definately going to want these back in a couple of weeks, he said, fondly flipping through them. And we're in my office of course. Somebody wants to see you. He nodded purposefully toward the ceiling.
Is that some sort of twitch you've acquired, or am I supposed to be picking up on something here? Azrael's gaze slowly made its way upward as well. Realization spread over his face. Lucifer rolled his eyes.
Yes, that's right, give yourself a moment.
What does She want with me?
Satan seemed to become distracted by another thought. He looked puzzled, but oddly amused.
Hey, if we're in your office, how come I didn't get a chair? the demon asked, looking around, oblivious to Lucifer's unspoken insult. He looked Azrael over, sitting there half-sprawled, holding himself up with one hand, crumpled hat in the other. Not the most competent looking.
He, she, it, whatever-no, She couldn't actually want you back. He laughed mockingly and ruffled Azrael's hair, but soon found this a mistake, as it took quite a bit of gel to get hair that foppish. He wiped his hand on his suit. Then he set down the papers, pulled Azrael up by the back of his jacket, and put an arm around him. Listen, I've always been a decent boss, haven't I? he asked in a smarmy tone.
Azrael held his hat tightly to himself, truly questioning whether he had a future at all. Yes.... I guess so, he replied cautiously.
Good. Then I can count on you to be a decent employee. Much to Azrael's relief, he let go. Just don't royally screw this up. Lucifer went over to his desk. Be a good little demon, and maybe you'll get a cookie when you come back.
Just what I've always wanted, Azrael said testily, smoothing out his hat and cramming it back on.
Yes, yes, whatever's in the contract. He paused a moment. Provided nothing should become null and void as a result of your or a third party's actions. It's a small legal technicality. But that shouldn't be a problem. Off you go.
Before Azrael could figure out exactly what this obscure statement meant or finish his own, he gained a feeling like a blow to the head and then a swooping sensation as the darkness around him whirlpooled.
* * * *
When the demon opened his eyes again, he was in a considerably bright place.
Never a happy medium, is there? he complained, squinting. The brilliant blue sky shone all around him. Azrael sensed someone else was there. Then a happy feeling overtook him, and he could have kicked himself because he swore he started to smile. Too bad he fainted first.
A/N: Props to those who recognize where I got the idea for Lucifer. He might be kinda familiar. R&R if ya'd like.