Ch.15 The Tales of Rogue
Rogue spent the next few hours with Kitty. The alternating mothering and scolding struck her as both irritating and amusing. When Kurt joined in to help Kitty pile even more plates of food in front of Rogue, she considered knocking them both out, but the faint traces of worry in both their eyes stayed her fists and the lash of her tongue. They were her friends and caring for her helped them, and a tiny part of her admitted it was nice to be pampered.
Later they sat in the rec room. All three of them piled onto the large sofa with a large blanket tucked around them until they resembled a trio of enchiladas. Other kids trickled in off and on, all of them glad that Rogue was fine. By the end of the third movie Rogue yawned again. This time she just felt tired, not drained. With a hug for both Kitty and Kurt, she wandered off to bed.
Around midnight Rogue awoke again. Her eyelids lifted in that strange alertness one gets when the transition period from asleep to awake is bypassed altogether. As always her balcony doors were open to allow the night's wind into the room. It played with her hair and smoothed the light blanket over her in a light touch. Until the breeze strengthened, and the sudden shift in force lifted the bedclothes up in a half balloon before throwing them off of her in a sudden whip and snap of linen.
"Well, Ah suppose Ah'm getting up then," Her amused words echoed off the wooden walls standing tall and dark around her. Rogue stepped out onto the balcony, and the wind calmed once more into a gentle movement of air, apparently pleased that she was up and about. Pale hands rested upon the cold stone railing. It's faint chill traveled up her fingers to sweep away the remaining traces of sleep in her mind. 'Now what?' She wondered.
Everyone else slept, tucked in comfortable beds, and Rogue had never really liked being the only one awake in the mansion. Sure it was an architectural marvel with vaulted ceilings, beautifully crafted stone and wood on near every surface, a wonder of modern invention mixed with the stately nature and carriage of the past. Each room boasted those elements though some were austere and others grand in design. Rogue loved the feel of mansion, even though very few southern touches broke the space.
But when all fell quiet and dark it seemed a cavernous space devoid of life. That bothered the Southern raised gal who was used to the opposite: too many people always cramped into too small a space. 'Ah gotta get outta heah.' She went back inside and changed quickly. Out of the students, only Rogue, Scott, and Jean had the majority of the security codes. It allowed her to get out of the mansion and past ground security without a problem.
'Ah guess this cahn't really be considered breakin' tha curfew since Ah ain't leavin' the propertah.' Xavier did not just own the school and a bit of the surrounding property. He had purchased several acres around the area as well. Along the perimeter ran a high wall embedded with both hidden cameras and sensors. The Professor wished for peace between humans and mutants, and he worked tirelessly for that dream, but he did not ignore reality either.
Rogue trod along the well-sculpted grounds with their adorning shrubs, trimmed bushes, and lovely flower gardens. One had to admire the work of Ororo Munroe. Every piece of landscaping was crafted with her hands. Even though most of the work to tending the mansion's grounds fell upon the students now, Ororo handled all major changes herself. With both her patience and careful knowledge of flowers the weather goddess had created a masterwork indeed. In every season green showed, even in the cold of winter a few types of shrub and pine trees broke up the wintery landscape. Spring though was the best.
Unbeknownst to many, Rogue and Kitty snuck coffee upstairs to Rogue's room for the first two weeks of Spring. Just before dawn the girls huddled beneath blankets on Rogue's favorite chairs and watched the symphony of colors unfold. The tender blooms of the night blooming flowers would begin to fold inward with the first sign of watery red upon the dark, star-studded blanket overhead. As the pale moon flowers that twined along side and even upon Rogue's balcony turned inward one could look down upon the numerous flowerbeds and watch other small, tender blossoms lift their face towards the brightening sky.
Every day for those first couple of weeks, Ororo's masterpiece played out in the quiet mornings with the addition of new colors and hues and shades. It amazed both Kitty and Rogue every morning. Though what shocked the girls more was the morning they noticed Logan sitting on the patio with a cup of coffee. His view trained out over the grounds and both girls swore they saw an almost pleasant expression on his face. But even as Rogue smiled with the memories, Ororo's gardens were not her destination.
She ventured further out where the well-manicured lawns gave way to more and more trees with longer tuffs of grass and weeds underfoot. The open space left and towering pines took over until only flecks of the sky penetrated the canopy. Here crickets chirped and owls called out to one another amid the wind's undercurrent. Nothing else stirred save for one girl that followed the beaten path.
Just as suddenly as the trees had closed the world in, the world broke free again. The rows of towering pines met their end in a rough semi circle where low grass raced to the edge of a cliff. The sky trickled on in endless waves above her and from her perspective the cliff did mark the edge of the world. But as she walked closer to the cliff's edge, the embankment, fifty or so yards away, came into sight. Seated on the edge and hemmed by small dashes of wildflowers sat a gazebo.
The small, dome shaped structured sat on the edge of her world, the X-men's world, Xavier's world much like a lighthouse positioned on a sea cliff. Her bare hand touched the wood, a bit rough with age, but lovingly repainted every year to retain its glory. Rogue often pretended this was her place. A small space in the world of the X-men that no one but her had found. It might as well be true, only she and Kurt ever felt the need to venture out this far. 'Her' seat was on the far side where if she tilted her head at just the right angle nothing entered her field of view but the stars. With a small sigh she settled in and her mind drifted to nothing in particular.
Long moments passed and when strong arms enveloped her, Rogue did not flinch. The faint scent of soap, cigarettes and something that could only be called 'Remy' confirmed what she already knew. A long shudder ran through her within the comforting embrace. Though he did not hold on to her tightly, unsure of how she would react.
"Ah was wonderin' if ya'd show up," She broke the silence after several minutes. With her back to him, and her hair framing her face, Remy could not see her expression. It calmed him that her voice did not waver as she spoke, though it was still rough with sleep.
"Now de trut' come out, Cher, Remy really be de man o' yorn dreams," He teased in a gentle tone. Something was off with her. He felt it through his empathy, even though he could not tell exactly what it was. She laughed and the sound lightened his mood as well.
"Naw, ya'r jus' mah bad penny, Cajun."
"Dat not be vera nahce, Cher," She heard the pout in his tone. "Remy be wort' a lot more den a penny."
"Then ya'r mah bad nickel," A soft poke in the side was her reward for her sass.
Silence fell over them and she scooted down the bench to where only his gloved fingers rested on her shoulder. It did not surprise him. Her withdrawals had stopped surprising him a while ago. He watched as she settled her chin on her knees. Those jade eyes looking out into the tree line, searching for something unidentifiable.
"Y' okay, Cher?" Of course she was not okay, and he knew it, but it at least broached the subject both that both of them seemed leery to touch.
"No," She admitted, "Ah don't know wha' ta think. Naw… s'like Ah can't think at all."
"Shock," He echoed her earlier diagnosis. Wood creaked as Rogue shifted around to face him, still at an arms length from him.
"Thank ya, Remy," He shook his head.
"Y' t'aint gotta t'ank Remy. Jus' doin' what needed doin'."
"Thank ya though," He nodded and watched as even in her coat she shivered.
"Rogue?"
"Ah guess it's starin' ta hit meh now," He reached over and took one of her loose hands in his. She flinched as she was not wearing gloves and he only tightened his grip. Rogue calmed when the feel of leather against her skin registered. Remy anchored her with that simple touch as the memories of what happened and the words of the Professor threatened to overtake her.
Only the wind and the occasional cricket song echoed in the still night for near an hour. Remy felt as much as watched the play of emotions through her: fear, anger, sadness, and of all things, guilt. He waited to let her speak both for her, and because he did not trust his own anger.
"Ah coulda ended it," She began and now her tone became soft and trembled a bit. "Ah coulda knocked 'em out n' gotten away, but I didn' want ta," She stopped a moment and closed her eyes. "I want'ed ta make 'em hurt. Ah blamed 'em fo' everathin'."
Even though her words were confused, Remy understood what she meant by them.
"Cher, y' don' know dat. Der were seven o' dem n' one o' y'."
"No, Ah was bettah than 'em. 'Lot bettah. Ah know I coulda."
"Even if dats true, Rogue dey deserved it," His tone scared her a little.
"No, Remy, that's not wha' Ah've been taught. It's not wha' Ah believe in," Remy tried to hide his own confusion. "Ah shouldn't do things lahke that. Ah'm suppose' ta try n' help, not be a shinin' example a' why they should be afraid a' us." Remy felt her sincerity. She truly believed that with enough time and effort, humans would no longer fear mutants.
It brought back his own confusing thoughts from his conversation with John. Should he commit himself to Magneto's cause? His anger said 'yes'. But part of him wanted to believe what she did, that there was another way. Remy stifled an internal sigh.
"Rogue, don' expect y'self t' be a saint," He shook his head more to clear out his own confusion. "Dem boys cornered y' t'ought dey could make y' do wha' dey wan'ed. Y' showed 'em different."
"Yeah," A wry grin, "Raght up until Ah got smashed in tha head." His hand tightened over hers and those devil eyes flashed bright.
"Anoder reason not t' feel guilty."
"Had Ah taken 'em when Ah coulda', Ah wouldn' a' gotten hit." She reasoned.
"Don' mattah, a homme should neva do dat t' a fille. If he do, den he deserve whateva 'e get." His eyes darkened.
"Remy, promise meh somethin'."
"Anyt'in' f' y', Cher," Came his usual reply to that question.
"Don' go afta 'em, ya' or John," He scowled. Kitty had told Rogue of John's anger that she had caught in brief glances on their way to the Institute that night.
"Non, dat Remy can' promise."
"Remy, please, fo' meh."
"Non, Remy's Papa'd skin 'im alive fo' lettin' dis go." He frowned.
"But Ah'm askin' ya ta," When those jade eyes fell upon him, wide and pleading Remy growled.
"Dat t'aint fair."
"Remy…."
"Alright, fahne, Remy promise 'e won' go after de lache fo' dis, but he eva lay a hand on y' again, any o' dem…." The warning in his voice did not escape Rogue. There was no way she could have missed it. 'Dangerous.' She thought, as she looked him and those fiery eyes that seemed wicked to her for the first time.
"Thanks," Her forehead fell to her knees and her hair blocked his view. He felt her turmoil and without thinking, he scooted over and draped a single arm over her shoulders. The floodgates opened and all of it came rushing forward. Rogue leaned her head against his arm long enough to shed a few brief tears. It helped. Part of her apprehension, misgivings, and uncertainty drained away much as it had with him before.
"No need, Cher," He said while resting his chin on the top of her head. He should be feeling some sort of victory in this moment. A hunch told him that she had not let herself cry over this with anyone else. But thoughts of conquest were the furthest thing from his mind. A strange peace settled over him and he projected it to her, furthering soothing her troubled thoughts. 'Wha is it y' doin' t' me, girl?'
"Ah…we… we all gotta be bettah than 'em," She started again with some inner need for him to understand prodding her along. "Can' fall inta tha same hatred, fo' the world n' fo' ourselves."
"Der a difference 'tween hatred n' justice, Cher." 'But i' be a fahne line.' Came the after thought.
"Tha's jus' it though. Ah was tryin' ta make 'em pay fo' it all. Tha protests, tha Sentinels, evrathin' n' tha' ain't raght." Remy just made a noncommittal noise. He did not think she was all that right in this case. Still he understood, at least in a broader sense if not this particular situation of discussion. Rogue watched him as that red gaze turned inward. She knew that the thoughts weighed heavy upon him, both angry and sad, even though his expression was unreadable.
With a small sigh, her head dipped again until her ear was close enough to make out the steady rhythm of his heart. Part of her screamed to back away 'TOO CLOSE!' It warned in a shrill tone, but for the first time in a long time, Rogue ignored it. 'Even if it's jus this one tahme.' His hand rubbed back and she allowed herself to relax under the gentle insistence.
Right then, she felt none of the usual confusing and conflicting emotions that usually arrived with Remy's presence. 'Ah could drift off ta sleep again, Ah think.' She grinned. 'But afta twice he'd prob'ly think Ah think he's borin' o' somethin'.' Boring did not even come close. Like Kurt, Kitty, and Logan, Remy made her feel a part of things. No longer trapped in an invisible box doomed to watch life go by.
"Ah gotta question fo' ya," Rogue gathered her courage as she lifted her head to meet his eyes. His response was an arched brow. "Would ya lahke ta go out with meh sometahme? Maybe catch a movie?" Surprise followed by delight.
"Y' askin' Remy out Cher?" He asked with a faint grin.
"Ah… umm… well… yeah," She stammered in this new territory she dared to tread.
"Ah'd luv t', but can Remy ask wha' brough' dis on?"
"Well, Ah'd lahke ta say it was somethin' profound, lahke mah lahfe flashed b'for' mah eyes n' Ah saw what Ah missin' out on an' all that. Ah guess it did sorta, but Ah jus' wanna, Ah mean. Well, Ah've been thinkin' 'bout it. N' it wouldn' be lahke a real date or anythin', but… Ah, ahhhhh think it'd be fun," That old frustration welled in him. 'Guess Remy still be 'jus' a friend'.' But she had asked him out, sort of, that was something right?
"Den it's settled," He grinned and leaned back a bit against the rail. Then asked a moment later. "So why wouldn' dis be a real date?"
" Remembah tha day at the park, when ya asked why Ah thought ya head was s'hard, n' Ah said ya'd have ta figuah tha' one out y'self?" He nodded.
"Oui."
"S'got somethin' ta do with that."
"N' ya still t'aint gonna tell, non?"
"Nope."
"Yor a stubborn un', Cher, dats f' certain," He chuckled and lightly tugged her earlobe in reprimand. 'So dat be de puzzle eh? Remy figuah out de answah n' he git a prize?"
"Yep, Logan's taught meh well."
"Logan, dat be Wolverine, non?" She tensed as he asked about the X-men. Remy felt it and silently kicked himself. 'Jus great.'
"Yeah, why?"
"Jus' curious, Cher. Y' mentioned him a few tahmes. Seems lahke some'un dat yer attached t'," He sensed it as she relaxed again. Rogue knew he spoke the truth. Besides as long as she was not giving out secrets and intel, talking about the X-men was like talking about her family.
"Well, Ah guess y' could say he's kinda lahke mah Dad. He n' the Professah both. Logan gits ta be tha one tha undastands when Ah'm headstrong, but whups mah butt good when Ah do somethin' particularly thick skulled. N' the Prof is tha patient one tha' always trys ta be understan', but stern." Amusement and affection laced each word to such a degree that Remy sworn he could feel it, even without his empathy.
"How'd y' end up in dat?" Then he tacked on quickly, "Y' t'aint gotta answer dat."
"No, S'ok." She shifted around and so did he until he had one boot on the floor and one running along side the backrest of the bench. His back rested against the support beam in the corner. Rogue leaned against him though Remy only draped one arm around her. She seemed far more comfortable with that arrangement. For a moment she did not continue as she collected her thoughts. The story of why she had come was something only Logan and Professor knew. Not for any hush hush reason, just because she had never thought to tell anyone.
"Well, as ya know, Ah'm from Mississippi. Real small town raght bah tha river," Her eyes drifted half closed and she let the sweep of memories take over to guide her words. "Ah was adopted when Ah was four bah a ladah named Irene."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"And this child?" The gray haired blind woman asked the suited social worker. Suit woman arched a brow as she looked to the auburn and white haired child who studiously worked on a coloring book. The tip of the child's tongue was visible and a small furrow lined her brow as she guided the crayon with adept precision.
"Ah'm sorrah Miss, but we don' even know 'er name. She won' even speak ta us." The woman huffed with crossed arms. Gray lady turned her head and a shiver ran through suit woman as swore she felt the woman's blind eyes focus upon her.
"May I try?" Gray lady did not have a Mississippi accent despite having lived in this town for at least the past five years. Suit woman just shrugged. Even though Gray Lady did not see it, the man next to her did and he murmured softly in her ear. Gray Lady nodded and with the help of the cane alone approached the child.
The little girl looked up after Gray Lady took about five steps towards her. The child had always been very aware of her surroundings even though the people at the orphanage never really noticed. Oh, if they only knew just what she had overheard and seen. Her eyes sparkled in the clearest jade with a sharp if childish intelligence glinting just beneath the surface. Within a second she realize the woman was blind and the girl jumped to her feet.
She approached Gray Lady and took one of the older woman's hands in hers. Without a word, she led Gray Lady to the most comfortable chair in what the little called the "Shopping Room" at least in her thoughts.
Every Saturday and Sunday all the children were brought into the room and set to some task for the visiting adults to look and 'ooo and awww' at. She hated the feelings it caused, exposure, fear, and uncertainty. So every Saturday and Sunday she took a seat next to the Comfy Chair with the small table and colored. She worked hard at each picture even though the rough carpet itched her legs through the uncomfortable tights they put her into to match the white shirt and red corduroy jumper.
"Thank you, child," The young girl decided that she liked the woman's voice. It wore it's age well and never approached harsh. Gray Lady settled into the chair with both hands balanced on the top of her cane. The girl smiled and Gray Lady seemed to know despite being blind. She returned the smile and patted the small stool next to the chair. The girl sat with an air of obedience that left Suit Lady fuming. While never particularly disruptive, when the child did not want to do something, she quite simply refused to do it.
"Tell me, do you like it here?" The little girl blinked. None of the adults before had ever asked her that. In fact they rarely spoke to the children at all. Instead, they talked with the Suit People and discussed things like temperaments and intelligence. After a moment she shrugged.
"Ah guess," Her voice surprised the Suit Lady and sent the woman into another tizzy, "Ah don' remembah much b'for though," Gray Lady decided she liked the child's voice, strong even though she spoke in a near whisper.
"I would like to take you home with me. But only if you would like to come," Again the little girl's shock registered on her face. 'Ah have a choice?' Her small brow furrowed as the weighed the heavy decision, chewing on her lower lip as she did.
"Yeah," She said after a few minutes, "Ah think Ah'd lahke that." Gray Lady smiled again and patted the little girl's hand.
"My name is Irene. What is yours?" The silence stretched.
"Rogue is tha onlah name Ah got."
"And a fitting name it is, Rogue. Let's go home." Rogue took Irene's hand, but she did not wait for the older lady to lead her around like most children would. She took careful steps as Irene felt her way along with the girl, and when something came into Irene's path that her cane did not find, Rogue moved it.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Remy watched the memories play out on her facial expressions as she spoke, and he tucked each word away in his perfect memory. As she told the story, Rogue relaxed a little more each second, until leaning against him seemed a normal thing.
"Ah stayed with Irene, Verne, an' a woman named Raven. But Raven was gone a lot," He heard the sadness in voice and felt it within her.
"Y' missed 'er."
"Yeah, Raven always brought meh things from 'er trip though," Rogue held up one hand to show a small silver band on pinky finger. "She got meh tha' when Ah turned seven. Though Ah can' weah it as a thumb ring n'more. Ah dunno, Raven was tha closest thing ta a Momma Ah knew."
"Y' miss Irene n' Verne?" She nodded.
"Ah nevah lahked tha orphanage much. The people theah were cold, most a' tha kids had problems n' it was always s'loud. Irene's house seemed lahke heaven jus' f' the quiet."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
No one spoke on the drive back to Irene's house and Rogue was glad. Her mind spun with the sudden upheaval of her life. Even at four she understood, at least to a degree, the significance of the event. Out of the small town and into what was really the country. Trees dominated the landscape in tall majestic waves with scraggly underbrush that attempted to compete for the suns rays. She tugged at the red jumper as she had second thoughts about the situation.
The car turned onto a worn dirt road and a few minutes later, stopped. Her tiny black patent leather shoes crunched on the rocks. Rogue brushed the white tendrils from her face and her small mouth formed an 'o' when she saw the house. Two story and white with what she would later know as a colonial period style, it sat like a matron mother amidst the trees and wildflowers. A ghost of a smile formed when she heard the soft rush of the Mississippi in the background. 'Home', the word flitted through her thoughts. 'Yeah, Ah think Ah could call this home.'
Rogue had been at the orphanage for the better part of a year and the time before that remained a fuzzy blur in her mind. But though she did not have much to compare the house to, it beat the muddy red brick, fake wood paneling, and itchy carpet that she was used to. Then there was the noise. Screaming kids at almost every hour of the day and night now replaced by silence and the subtle river song.
A woman stepped out of the house. Her black hair tied back in a loose knot and she wore a dark colored day dress. She walked straight over to Rogue and knelt down. One knee touched the dirt. Rogue looked into the woman's eyes with the directness of the curious child she was. The girl saw many things in the woman's blue eyes both wonderful and dark, most of which she did not understand and never would. Neither spoke, but Irene finally broke the silence.
"Raven, this is Rogue."
"A fitting name," The woman named Raven echoed Irene's past words, "Well young Rogue, welcome. You will be as much my charge as Irene's," The child frowned.
"Ah don' belong ta anyone," Her small arms crossed in front of her with an air of defiance.
"So it would seem," Raven chuckled, "Very well then, we are your caretakers, and someday perhaps we will be your family and you will be our family as well," The response satisfied the young one. A tentative smile lit her expression.
"Ah guess Ah could trah that," She nodded and Raven bestowed a smile.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Rogue smiled as she remembered Raven, Irene, and Verne in that first meeting. A home, a family, the first ones she would remember, but not the last ones that she would have.
"Y' ever t'ough 'bout goin' t see 'em?" She missed them. He did not need his empathy to know that.
"No, Ah won' 'til Ah can control mah powah," With the finite nature of her words, Remy did not argue, only nodded once, "Anyway, Ah stayed with 'em, went ta school n' all that. 'Bout the onlah thing Ah did that othah kids didn' was make money runnin' errands 'round the town fo' people. Mowin' lawns, n' all that stuff. Ah was gonna use tha money ta fahnd mah real parents, jus' 'cause Ah was curious 'bout 'em. Nothin' changed 'til Ah was fo'teen. "
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Mac, Ah don' wanna play touch tackle with ya'll, Ah gotta git home," Rogue laughed when Mac Kinson got down on one knee in front of her. He was her best friend, and greatest source of irritation. Touch tackle was one of the few games 'cool' enough for kids her age to play but 'safe' enough for girls to play as well.
"Pllllllllllllllllleaaaaaaaase, Rogue, weh ain't got balanced teams. Weh need ya Rogue," He paused for dramas sake and his eyes widened, "Ah need ya," Rogue rolled her eyes and cuffed him very gently.
"All raght but jus' one game. N'more 'en that, Raven's comin' in tomorrah n' Ah wanna be ready," He nodded solemnly. Mac knew that Raven, Rogue's foster Mother, was often gone on business trips and when Raven came in nothing kept Rogue away.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Ah had tha ball n' Mac trahed ta be all cute n' grab mah ear," She sank deeper into Remy's arms and her voice quieted, "His hand touched mah face n' that's when mah powahs kicked in fo' tha first tahme. "
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"MAC!!!" The other kids screamed and Rogue turned with one hand over her eyes as she winced in pain. 'Why are theah yellin' fo' meh." Her eyes opened and saw Mac's body lying on the ground. The screams bombarded her ears, as she stood there unable to move as her best friend's psyche still flooded the surface of her mind. 'Why can Ah see mahself?? Am Ah dead?'
The boy's thoughts and memories dominated Rogue's mind in a painful onslaught that drove her to her knees. Lances of agony pierced his, her?, skull and he, she?, watched on as friends lifted up his prone, unconscious form. 'Ah gotta git outta heah!' They thought in synchronized panic. His legs shook beneath him as he forced Rogue to her feet. No one noticed when she, he?, darted off into the woods beyond.
Scraggly branches torn at her clothes as he goaded her legs into haphazard action. Thin sticks scratched her cheeks and grabbed at her legs, but he refused to slow down. The wind stung her eyes until tears clouded out everything, but still he drove her onward. Soon the very air she breathed stung her lungs and her legs refused to move. Rogue crumpled to the ground sobbing in a choked cry of a young boy and girl frightened and confused.
He looked at his hands covered in grime and blood from small scratches and scraps caused by the headlong flight. But the hands were too slender, too delicate to be his. There was no scar across his right knuckles from his fall out of the tree as a kid. The ring, he knew that silver band. It was Rogue's. Rogue… she was here with him, or he with her, but how? What was he going to do? Was he dead? His thoughts spun into further confusion and chaos until the pain returned this time stronger than before.
Dead
Gone
Trapped
Dead…Gone…Trapped…DeadgonetrappedDeadgonetrappedDeadgonetrapped.
Mac beat her fists into the ground as the words pounded over and in his brain like a psychotic train gaining speed down the tracks. And like that same train would do upon passing, the mental sound of the words and fear they evoked drowned out everything else. With each syllable her knuckles beat harder into the leaf littered ground. Rocks dug into and tore at her skin until blood ran freely over them. But as Mac grew further out of control, Rogue centered herself.
From within the swirling vortex of his thoughts, Rogue pushed. Her mind, her body, things she wanted back, needed back to figure out what just happened. The patterns worn into her brain over her years recognized her and provided a road to reclaiming herself. He fought, still too caught in his terror to listen. It took everything Rogue had to push him to the back and keep him there.
She sagged against a tree still crying, but now the tears were hers. Had she killed him? Her best friend? 'YES!' His psyche wailed behind the feeble walls she had erected. But already he started to fade. His thoughts were not hers, the pathways of her mind unfamiliar, and like the body's immune system, her psyche was cleaning out what should not be there. Later she would know that this was just a part of her mutation, a defense mechanism to help keep her sane. But now she only found herself glad for silence again, and sorrowed for the loss of a friend.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Ah don' know how long Ah sat there cryin'. Too tired ta move n' m'head wasn' working raght yet anyway." The way she described the take over, the confusion, panic, and fear gave Remy an inward shudder. How could she deal with that? How could anyone? More so than even he understood her need to steer clear of almost everyone all of the time. One accidental brush and she would find herself fighting that battle again.
"Tha sun had set b'fore Ah stood up fo' the first tahme. Almost couldn' keep mah feet. Ah stahted walkin' home. Wa'dn' sure what ta do r' who ta tell. Then Ah remembahed somethin'. Few months b'for Ah'd overheard Raven n' Irene talkin' bought a school in New York fo kids with unusual abilities. Couldn' get mo' unusual than meh o' so Ah thought."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Rogue crept into the window of her bedroom. Mac still hung in the back of her thoughts. His thoughts, his voice weak now, and calmer if still confused. A glance at the clock told her it was almost ten at night. 'Irene n' Verne should be in bed.' Without pause, Rogue pulled out an old duffle bag and began to pack with quick efficiency.
"Raven, you must come home now. It is time," Irene sat on the edge of her bed as she talked to the other woman. "I know, but the change has happened and this night will determine where she goes," A long pause ensued before Irene spoke again.
"Listen to me, if she leaves this house tonight, she will likely be lost to you forever. You are the one she trusts. I do not know if she will even listen to me… Raven I have seen it, if she leaves, she will end up with Charles Xavier." 'Perhaps that is for the best,' Irene thought at the end. "Yes Raven, I will see that she stays."
Irene sat on the bed even after she hung up the phone. She knew Rogue was packing her things at this very moment. She knew that she could probably convince the girl to await Raven's return. But for the first time, Irene doubted her friend's plan. She had grown attached to Rogue, loved her even, and that piece of her that knew Xavier would be better for Rogue held her in place until she knew the girl was gone.
Rogue, unaware of the phone conversation, zipped up the duffel bag and took her chore money from its hiding place. She divided it up six ways and each small stack found itself tucked in a different location either on her person or in her luggage. She stopped at the window long enough to write out a quick note to her guardians so that they would not worry. Then, Rogue left.
Irene opened the door a moment later with Verne right behind her. The man saw what the woman could not, a small shadowy figure racing off into the tree line. He picked up the note with a sorrow all his own.
Dear Irene and Verne,
Something happened tonight that I can't really explain. I'm going up North where I think there is a place that can help me. Remember that school you and Raven talked about a couple of months ago, Irene? I'm going to try and find it. Tell Raven I love her, and I'll miss you all, but I'll call once I get there.
Love you guys,
Rogue
"So that is how she heard about it," Irene murmured as the tears slipped from her eyes. It was the one thing in her vision that she never did figure out. How had Rogue found the Institute? Now that question was answered.
"Ya wan' meh ta go aftah her?"
"No, Verne, help me back to my room. Trust me, she will be fine."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Ah wahlked quite a ways 'til Ah found Ah bus station. Jus' told tha ladah that Ah was on mah way up North ta visit some family. Bah the next day, Mac's memories were jus' faint n' Ah couldn' heah him n'more. "
She stopped there, but it did not feel like the end of the story to Remy. He waited. His thumb rubbed her shoulder as she chewed on her lower lip. 'T'ink dis maght be harder on 'er den even she knows.'
"It was on tha bus that Ah first heard a mutants. Some guy readin' a tabloid with tha headline 'Mutants Among Us'. Ya'd be surprised jus' how close tha article was ta tha truth. It took about two days ta get heah. Ah called n' talked ta Irene jus' lahke Ah'd promised. Raven wan'ed ta come git me though. Ah think she woulda, but Irene said somethin' ta her in tha background tha' Ah couldn' heah. Then Raven jus' said she'd talk ta meh soon."
"Y' still talk to 'em ?"
"Irene," She sighed, "Raven nevah seems ta be around when Ah call."
"Y' t'ink its because she don' wanna talk t' y'?" Rogue nodded.
"Dats jus' silly, Cher. Der's no way dat she c'n still be mad. Prob'ly nevah was mad in de first place. Jus' worried fo' y'." Rogue just shrugged, she wasn't as sure as Remy. "What happened t' y' friend?"
"Mac?" He nodded. She flinched and her bare hands clenched into a fist. "Coma, he ain't come outta it yet," His heart skipped a beat with the revelation.
"Ah'm sorrah, Rogue," His arm tightened around her.
"S'ok," She started in automatic response, then stopped. "No, it's not. Ah jus' trah not ta think about it. Afta all there's nothin' Ah can do raght?" He tasted the bitterness, the sadness in her words. Unable to control what she was, unable to right the problems it caused.
"Rogue, y' couldn'a know y' powahs would happen den," He reasoned in his need to say something that would help her, to offer some truth to alleviate the pain. She just shook her head. Rogue did not want absolution. In her mind, that was the easy way out for the suffering she had caused.
"That's reahlly about it. Ah got heah n' Xavier took meh in. Onlah Jean n' Scott were here, as students anyway. Logan and Ms. Munroe were heah too. Fo' about a year it was onlah tha six of us." He recognized the change of subject for what it was, and decided to let the previous thread go.
"Six people in dat big house? What y' have an entire floor t' y'self?" He teased in a light tone. Rogue smirked with a gentle elbow to his ribs. Her mood lightened under his insistance.
She watched him out of the corner of her eye. The odd angle strained her vision, but even with the blurry view Rogue could make out the decisive angle of his chin. It was a stubborn chin and it took little imagination at all for Rogue to see it set when he felt the same emotion. Though now with the muscles of his jaw relaxed, his lips parted just enough for her to feel the occasional stir of his breathe. Still even with the careful study he remained an enigma, but as the confusion she so often felt in his presence welled something soothed it away before it had a chance to take hold.
Rogue buried herself deeper against him, and for a moment it was easy to pretend the rest of the world did not exist.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Yumiko – Here ya go!
Aro – And onto the next chapter.
Blink182dbzluver – Here it is.
Ishandahalf – Yeah… Jon is perceptive in a strange, crazy kinda way. I wanted to give him something a little more than a comic relief part in this fic. Glad yer still likin' it!
Jukebox – I have embraced my Dark Side… It's just easier this way. Hehe. Yeah I figure empathy would be a second mutation for Remy. Enjoy!
Katrina5 – The Remy/Jean-Luc flashback is probably my favorite scene so far. I wanted Rogue to have some stable relationships in this one. In a sense it makes it easier for her, and in a way it also makes it harder. How will that poor girl make it all work?
Anee() – Yes Remy is drool worthy n' always has been. I've always been a fan of the little thief tricks mostly because of the position it puts Rogue in from a mental standpoint.
Bad-girl 4 – Hehe… thanks for reading!
Almicene - Yeesh! I'm blushin! N' I don't do that often. I am very glad that you like it so much. I really wanted a slower evolution to their relationship. I dunno after everything these two characters have gone through in various media, I think they *deserve* not having everything thrown at them all at once for a change. Thank you for the words of encouragement and here is the latest edition.
Gothic Cajun – Glad ya liked ch. 13 & 14! Evil comes naturally to me… heh. E-mail me when you get your story ready. I'm pretty good about hitting the new stories soon after they're up, but sometimes I miss 'em. I think Remy knows about his empathy and doesn't. He knows that he can influence other people's emotions and he's got some active control over it, but he doesn't know exactly what it is, etc. I figure that's plausible since Empathy is so very different from the ability to charge objects to explode and usually people with 2 mutations have complimentary ones. Like Jean has TK and telepathy.
Just call me Angels – Heh, most of this fic is off the top of my head. I really only started with the idea of having Rogue start off more self assured then she usually is. Kind of an experiment to see if one small adjust can make a large difference in outcome. And yeah Logan rocks!!!
Pixie Flyer – hey! What was cliffhangerish about ch. 14? I try not to have back to back evil after all.