I enter the packed lecture hall and slip in to an empty seat in the back row. I've been trying to talk to Ryleigh for a week now but she won't return my phone calls. Harm mentioned that she was speaking at the Academy so I canceled a few appointments and left the office early. There is no dinner tonight so my schedule is pathetically clear. She can't hide from me forever.

Her dull, almost monotone tone of voice surprises me. This evening's topic 'The Role of Intelligence in Warfare' is usually one of her favorites. Which I suppose now makes perfect sense. She lacks the enthusiasm and vivacity I'm so used to seeing. When she moves away from the podium to point at a date on the enlarged timeline, I cannot believe what I see. If possible, she's even thinner than before. Her expensively tailored suit hangs off her petite frame. The weariness on her face is alien and quite disconcerting.

How could Harm allow these changes to occur? I know from experience that he can be stubborn and is perfectly capable of manipulating others to get his way. He's done the same with powerful military leaders and heads of state. Convincing his diminutive wife to eat and smile shouldn't be so difficult. Maybe he's losing his touch. My eyes wander through the attentive crowd. She's about to fall and I'm the only one who seems to notice. Once she does, will I be able to catch her? I stop when I reach a familiar face in the front row. Concerned sharp blue eyes follow her every move. Perhaps I'm not the only one. Somewhat placated by the thought that at least one other person is watching out for my friend, I relax and let myself enough the rest of the lecture. This is one of my favorite topics, too.

Question and answer time is a complete joke. It's obvious that some people were not paying any attention to the lecture. Thirty questions later, Ryleigh's visibly fading and the hands keep shooting up. William quickly rushes onto the stage and leans down to speak into the microphone. "Sorry to cut this short, mates, but Professor Devlin's a busy lady. Thank you for your time." There are a few grumbles but his disarming smile mollifies the majority of the group.

I roll my eyes at his use of her maiden name. He wraps an arm around her waist and leads her out through a back door. I pick up my purse and fight my way through the crowd to catch up with them. Fortunately they've stopped at a bench just outside the building. Afraid of intruding on a private moment, I slow my steps.

"The results came in this afternoon. It's starting to spread." The cool summer breeze carries Ryleigh's soft, anguished voice. I've never heard someone imply so much with so few words.

William murmurs words of consolation and embraces her tightly. The hug is as much for his benefit as hers. Though I don't know what they're talking about, yet, I can tell that it's serious.

"Hello, Colonel Mackenzie." William reluctantly releases his grip on his former partner. I take this as my cue to move forward, stopping only inches away from the pair.

Ryleigh straightens and quickly masks the pain and fatigue so evident on her face. "Oh, hi Mac. I didn't know you were coming."

"Was in the area so I thought I'd stop in and take you out for dinner." The lie rolls smoothly of my tongue. I feel a momentary pang of guilt but brush it aside. My one white lie is nothing compared to the secrets the redhead harbors.

William catches my attention and the two of us hold a silent conversation. He knows that I've figured out something and is giving me permission to seek answers. As if I need his permission. I'm a United States Marine. If I want something bad enough, I'll find a way to get it whether or not permission is granted.

Seeming to understand my position, he nods in acknowledgment before bending down to whisper in her ear. "You will not take this lying down. Talk with Mackenzie, get it all straightened out then come find me. If I don't hear from you in three days, I'm going to kick your bloody door down."

I am surprised not only by the way he speaks to Ryleigh but by her small smile and muttered agreement. Whereas Harm has always treated Ryleigh as if she were a child to be protected, William treats her as an equal. The mystery that is the Rabb marriage puzzle me. At one time I could have told you that Harm and Rye were perfect for each other, but now I'm filled with doubts.

"See ya, pet," he winks and spins on his heel, leather duster flapping around him.

She watches his retreating back for a few moments then turns to face me. I grab her hand and squeeze it tightly. This seems to reassure her and she returns the squeeze. "There's a great Chinese place down the street. We can pick something up and bring it back to my office."

Relieved that she's not going to fight me when it comes to our pending discussion, I agree and offer to drive. My reasons are mostly selfish. I don't want to give her the chance to disappear while I'm gone. At the restaurant she stares dumbly at the menu so I order for her. She is going to eat tonight. Whether or not it's by force is her decision.

Half an hour later we're in her office surrounded by piles of takeout containers. I may have gone a little overboard in the ordering. Her dish of chow mein half empty, she sets down her chopsticks and sighs contentedly. I knew a decent meal would do her good, but that's only part of the problem. I don't want to press just make sure that she knows I'm here if she needs me.

"I have cancer."

I choke on a mouthful of rice. Well, I definitely was not expecting that. I reach for my bottle of water and wash down the rice. "What?" My voice is hoarse from the coughing. "I have ovarian cancer. Please don't say anything to Harm. I haven't told him yet." Her smile is oddly serene, as if admitting to someone else has somehow eased her burden.

She hasn't told her husband about her cancer yet her estranged partner knows all about it. Am I the only one who sees a problem with that? "How long have you known?"

Ryleigh immediately focuses on her food. This is worse than I thought. What could she be afraid to tell me? She married the man I've loved for over a decade. If I can handle that, there's very little she could say or do that would truly upset me.

"Four months," she responds quietly.

And that would be one of them. "You've known about this for four months and you're just now telling me about it? When were you going to say something??" I can't help the anger that comes through in my tone. We're supposed to be friends, sisters, and she's been hiding this from me for four months. Something suddenly dawns on me. "This is what William was talking about at the party, isn't it? You weren't going to tell anyone, were you?"

My rage only increases in strength when she slowly shakes her head. Fat tears well up in her eyes and trickle down her pale cheeks but I can't feel any sympathy for her right now. "Do you have any idea what that would have done to me? To Harm? What in the hell were you thinking?"

"I don't to make a big deal over this," she insists, staring up at me with pleading, watery eyes.

I feel some of my anger ebbing away, only to be replaced by hurt and fear. Hurt that she didn't trust me enough to confide in me and fear that my best friend may be dying and there's no way I can help her. "No big deal? Rye, you're sick. That is a big deal. You should have told someone."

She jumps to her feet and angrily brushes away the tears. "Why? So Mom can run out and start the Ryleigh Rabb foundation? So my dad can use it for his congressional campaign next year? Most of my life has been documented in one gossip mag or another, Mac. What makes you think this will be any different?"

I concede her point. With a father involved in politics and a famous journalist for a mother, she is not as private of a citizen as she would like to be. "Harm has a right to know."

Ryleigh blows out a deep breath and rubs the back of her neck. "He's up for promotion soon. With the board watching him as closely as they are, he doesn't need to be distracted," she argues logically. She collapses in her chair and closes her eyes. "When did things get so screwed up?"

I sit on the edge of the desk next to her and put an arm around her shoulders. I don't really have an answer so all I can do is offer comfort.

"Probably around the time I married your guy, huh?" she laughs. For once the sound isn't bitter or forced. She notices my shocked look and sobers. "I am so sorry, Sarah. He assured me that there was nothing between you but I shouldn't have believed him. Had I known for sure, I never would have said yes."

Before I can respond, I find myself in Ryleigh's arms. Hot tears are falling on my shoulder, soaking the material of my shirt, but I pay them no heed. This is a time for reconnecting. Asking for and freely giving forgiveness. She's not just apologizing for Harm. Lord knows that isn't hers to apologize for. We've drifted apart over the past months and I can tell the rift has hurt her just as deeply as it has me.

"It's okay, sweetie. It's not your fault," I pat her back and urge her to cry it all out. It isn't until I see the growing wet spot on the top of Ryleigh's head that I realize I'm crying as well.

Together we cry for several minutes. Me for the love I've lost and may never have. She for the life she's losing and will never have. Our tears spent, we share a box of tissues and attempt to dry our faces. Ryleigh opens her mouth to speak but is cut off by the shrill ring of my cell phone.

I glance at the caller id and frown when I see Harm's name. "Hello?" I greet shakily, not completely recovered from the tears.

"I noticed that you left early. Are you feeling well? Have you been crying?" Harm is concern personified. Unfortunately his concern is directed at the wrong person. Though I'm touched by his thoughtfulness, my resentment of him on Ryleigh's behalf rears its ugly head.

I put up a hand motioning Ryleigh to be quiet. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just had a family emergency to take care of." That is not a lie. Ryleigh is family and this is an emergency if I ever saw one. I convince Harm that I will be just fine and quickly end the call. I return to my seat on the opposite side of the desk and ask Ryleigh what her plans are.

This brings out another deep sigh. "William...," her voice fades and she stares off into space. "It's complicated. I saw you two talking at the party. He told you all about the past." It's a statement not a question.

I nod and gesture for her to continue. "I love my family. I enjoy teaching. Harm... has his moments." "But it's not the life you want, is it?" I interrupt, already knowing where this is heading, all the pieces finally falling into place. My friend is not happy with her life and was honestly considering just giving up and dying. "There are easier ways to commit suicide," I point out acidly.

She flushes with embarrassment but no more tears follow. "The thing is, Mac, I don't want to die. I just don't want to be me anymore."

What do you say to that? I glance down at my watch, surprised to find that we've been talking for three hours. Where has all the time gone? The miserable look on Ryleigh's face tells me that I won't be getting any more out of her tonight. That's all right with me. We've talked more in these short hours than we had in the past two years. We clean up the empty containers and make plans to meet again soon. Now that I know my time with her is limited I will make more of an effort to clear my schedule. I hope she does the same.

The walk out to the parking lot is silent. There aren't any more words to be said and none need to be spoken. Before we can part ways, I reach out and hug her one more time. "I know I can't make you promise to tell Harm, but please promise me you won't give up."

She tightens the embrace and kisses my cheek. When she pulls back there's a twinkle in her eyes. "Don't worry Sarah. I'm not a quitter."